My Honeymoon With Mr White

by J A Fielding

  “Okay, now I am officially confused,” Kyle said as he leaned forward and picked up one of the scrabble pieces.

  “This is not my first marriage, you know,” Mitchell finally said.

  “Now that makes so much more sense,” Kyle said pointing at Mitchell who was now laughing quietly. “What happened with the first one? Not as pretty?” he asked.

  “Oh she was a looker, don’t get me wrong,” Mitchell said. “But she was…not in it for the right reasons,” he added. Kyle looked at him closely.

  “You lost me again,” he said. Mitchell took a deep breath.

  “Well, let’s just say that she is the kind of woman who, if I was president and she was a lesbian, she’d keep it secret for the sake of being first lady,” Mitchell explained.

  “So you are the president’s son or something?” Kyle said in an effort to try and understand Mitchell’s explanation. Mitchell looked at him questionably.

  “Why would you even ask that?” he asked looking at Kyle.

  “President…first lady. Your words not mine,” “Kyle said shrugging.

  “Okay, simply put, the whole presidential thing is to do with family fortune. I can’t believe you thought I was part of the first family…or at least the extended first family,” Mitchell said as Melinda and Natasha walked back.

  “Oh…you should have just said that. Talk in parables much?” Kyle asked as the girls sat down. “Hey, what happened to the drinks?” he asked as he laid eyes on the chips and dip the girls had just walked in carrying.

  “Here they are,” Melinda said pouring cold soda in the four glasses she had.

  “You know what I mean,” Mitchell said with a frown.

  “Well, we decided since it is only, what, two in the afternoon? Maybe we should save the good stuff for later on when you show us all the hot spots around this beautiful island,” Natasha said as she sat down next to Mitchell.

  “Guess you’re right,” Kyle said as he took a bite of one chip covered in dip. “And worth it,” he said as he closed his eyes. Mitchell followed suit, as did the girls.

  “Oh my God, this is no regular dip,” Mitchell said.

  “I know, right?” Melinda said beaming. “I was in love with the dip when I first came here too. Apparently, the secret is in the garlic,” she added taking another chip. Mitchell looked at Kyle and then at Natasha.

  “Do you mean to tell me that you make your own dips?” he asked looking at Kyle.

  “We like to think that the dip is the reason why Americans keep on coming back here,” Kyle said smiling. Natasha laughed.

  “We do love our dip,” she said. “So, what were you boys talking about when the womenfolk were busy making the delicious treats?” she asked as Melinda handed out the glasses of soda.

  “Mitchell was going on about being in the first family and stuff,” Kyle said without looking up.

  “First family? Like the president’s family?” Melinda asked surprised. Natasha elbowed Mitchell again.

  “That’s the man I married. Always making little figurative phrases,” Natasha said. Melinda’s eyes suddenly grew wild.

  “Wait a minute,” she said looking at Mitchell. “Figurative talk…your last name is Schmidt, right?” she asked excitedly. Natasha looked at her surprised.

  “Yes. Nice to meet you for the second time,” she said. “What’s the point of this little trip down memory lane?” she asked.

  “Like Schmidt, Nolan Schmidt the big tycoon?” Melinda asked.

  “Seems I can never really hide from anyone nowadays,” Mitchell said. “But guilty,” he said as he put an arm around Natasha’s shoulders.

  “Am sorry but I am not so sure I understand what is going on here,” Kyle said as his gaze shift from Melinda to Mitchell.

  “Okay, I don’t want you to think I’m a stalker or some shit like that,” Melinda started.

  “Okay, that’s a little freaky that you chose those particular words to start your speech,” Mitchell said. Melinda laughed as she shook her head.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just that before I started working for the travel diaries I was supposed to cover your wedding. Media houses were calling it the American Royal Wedding,” Melinda said laughing. “But when TMZ got the deal…well, you know, the wedding would have been my big break,” she added.

  “TMZ did get the scoop,” Natasha said.

  “Wait, big break? Honey, I thought you loved doing the travel show,” Kyle said looking surprised.

  “I do, God knows I do. It’s just that at some point I was into broadcast…maybe something behind the anchor desk,” Melinda said. “It was to be…” her voice trailed off as she took a long sip of her drink. “But I not only produce the show, I own it. So it was a win-win,” she added with a smile.

  “I’m sure you do,” Natasha said, a sympathetic look on her face.

  “No for real. I came up with the idea and everything. The network wanted it so much they decided to retain me and pay me a lump sum plus royalties,” Melinda said raising her glass. Kyle planted a kiss on her forehead and smiled at her.

  “Yeah, thank God. If it were not for that show the two of us would have never met,” Kyle said with a smile. Natasha and Mitchell smiled at each other.

  “That’s enough, love birds. What are we doing? Boys versus girls or which couple sucks more?” Mitchell asked. Natasha and Melinda exchanged a “oh no he didn’t” look.

  “Remember when they thought chess was too quote unquote, intelligent for us?” Natasha asked. Melinda nodded.

  “All too well,” Melinda answered.

  “Well, I guess that answers your question, Mitchell Schmidt. It’s boys versus girls and which pair is going to whoop your ass,” Natasha said as she switched seats with Melinda. Mitchell looked at them and smiled.

  “Fine. We’ll go first,” he said as he carefully spelled out the word “aint” on the board. Natasha looked at the board and then at Mitchell.

  “What language are we playing in? Vietnamese?” she asked laughing.

  “English. Aint is a perfectly legit word,” Mitchell argued. Melinda suddenly burst out laughing.

  “Honey, as an African American I have to tell you that my community has worked so hard to terrorize the English language,” Natasha said looking at Mitchell apologetically. “That is an example of how good we are at language terrorism,” she added pointing at the board.

  “This couple is going to kick your ass,” Melinda said giving Natasha a high five.

  “Ain’t that the truth,” Kyle said looking at Mitchell who was smiling back at him. “So anyway, you know how the two of us met. How did you two meet?” he asked as he looked up at Natasha.

  “It’s not as magical as your tourist meets local boy story,” Mitchell said. “Well, it’s the usual,” he added. Melinda looked at Natasha.

  “What’s the usual? Coffee shop?” Melinda asked.

  “Oh no. Mitchell just seems to lose the romance so soon into the marriage,” Natasha said. “I was going for an interview at NSCS,” she said as a big smile played on her face.

  “The government navy intelligence thing? Cool, I’ve seen that show. I didn’t think it was real, though,” Kyle said as he took a handful of chips. The three looked at him surprised.

  “Not NCIS honey. NSCS,” Melinda said in a whisper even though the other three people in the room were quiet. Natasha smiled at Mitchell.

  “Don’t worry. My dad also thought I was about to join Jack Bauer in the fight against international crime,” Natasha said giving a sympathetic look to Kyle.

  “Good to know I’m not alone there,” Kyle said. “So what’s NSCS?” he asked.

  “Nolan Schmidt Communications Solutions. The company I work for,” Natasha said. Kyle’s eyes grew wide.

  “This is one of those boss and naughty secretary situations, isn’t it?” he asked. Natasha looked at him surprised and offended at the same time. Was this how people perceived her? The little whore who slept with her boss and finally hit the jackpot? Kyl
e suddenly noticed Melinda’s look, the same look that she would give him on nights that he was sure he wasn’t getting lucky. It was at that moment that he realized he had overstepped his boundaries. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend anyone. Sometimes I talk faster than my brain processing capability,” Kyle said looking at Natasha ruefully.

  “I guess you should feel better knowing that you are not the first person to think that,” she said.

  “So what happened at the interview?” Melinda asked trying to change the topic. Kyle’s comment had brought about an uncomfortable situation at the table that she longed to get away from.

  “So, I drove to the interview but when I got out of the car, I don’t know what happened. I passed out,” Natasha said smiling. “I think I was just nervous,” she added. Mitchell raised an eyebrow.

  “Just nervous? Woman you were a wreck. Thank goodness I was there to save the day,” Mitchell said leaning back.

  “So you were the Prince Charming to Natasha’s Cinderella story? Is that what you are trying to say?” Melinda asked as she circled the rim of her glass using her index finger. Kyle looked at Melinda and then at Mitchell.

  “This speaking in parables thing…is it an American thing?” Kyle asked.

  “Oh honey….are you always direct in Antigua?” Melinda asked looking at Kyle who was now nodding.

  “Yeah…most of the time….when you are not talking to elders at least,” he said before laughing.

  “So anyway, there I was passed out and the next thing I know I am looking up at a stranger,” Natasha continued. “The most embarrassing part was when I found out that the guy who probably saw my underwear would be one of the people interviewing me,” she added rolling her eyes. Mitchell held up his hands in defense.

  “Hold on. I never saw your underwear,” he said. Natasha smiled.

  “Well, I don’t know that, at least I didn’t, then,” she said. “I can’t really tell what position I fell in,” she added laughing.

  “Trust me, no underwear,” Mitchell said again. Natasha took a long sip of her drink and gave Mitchell a dreamy look.

  “From there it was a roller coaster and lo and behold, three years down the lane, here we are,” she said with a smile.

  “Aaww, that is the sweetest story ever,” Melinda cooed. Mitchell looked at her and laughed.

  “Believe me when I tell you it wasn’t all smooth sailing. She really meant it when she said a roller coaster,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “Oh come on. You guys have the perfect story. Don’t tell me she ditched you at the altar before you guys decided to elope,” Melinda said as she busied herself coating a potato chip in dip. She suddenly noticed the silence that had taken over the room. She looked up at Natasha and Mitchell in surprise. “She left you at the altar? What is this, Pretty Woman?” she asked before taking a bite of the potato chip.

  “No one left anyone at any altar,” Natasha said.

  “She just took her time saying yes after I popped the question,” Mitchell said. “But she was worth the wait,” he added giving Natasha a wink.

  “You guys could literally make a romantic movie, screw Pretty Woman,” Melinda said.

  “I am not a romantic but I have seen quite a few chick flicks and if I didn’t know any better I could have sworn you have just spent the last half hour giving us an entire plot theme,” Kyle said. Melinda nodded in agreement as she bit into yet another potato chip.

  “Well, believe me when I tell you that it is all original,” Natasha said as she fumbled around with the scrabble board. “And even if ‘aint’ was a word, it would be worth a mere four points and I have just made ‘terror” and whooped both your asses on the first round,” she added as Melinda leaned over to look at the board. The two girls gave each other a celebratory fist bump before they looked at the dumbfounded guys.

  “I have a better idea,” Mitchell said as he intentionally tipped the board over.

  “Hey!” Natasha cried in protest as Mitchell stood up.

  “I think it’s time Kyle gave us an official club tour,” Mitchell said taking Natasha’s hand.

  “Why do I have a feeling that the only reason we are going out is because we were going to win?” Melinda asked as she stood up.

  “And we shall never talk about this again,” Kyle said as he draped Melinda’s scarf on her shoulders.

  “We could always have another go at chess,” Mitchell said looking at Natasha hopefully. Melinda and Natasha exchanged glances.

  “He really needs to shut up if there is any hope of getting laid tonight,” Melinda whispered to Natasha.

  “I know,” Natasha said looking at Mitchell.

  Chapter 5

  “You have to tell me what you think and you have to be honest,” Natasha said to Mitchell, tugging on her bathrobe. She had just gone shopping for new lingerie and swimsuits. Since meeting Melinda and Kyle, the newlyweds rarely ever spent time alone together. It was almost as if they were on a couples retreat rather than a honeymoon, not that either of them was complaining.

  “Have I ever lied to you?” he asked leaning back on the bed.

  “Well, there is the time you said exactly what I wanted to hear just so that we could have sex,” Natasha said. Mitchell shrugged.

  “It was pretty awesome sex,” Mitchell said looking at Natasha who nodded.

  “Guess it was. But this time I just want to know what you think, okay?” she asked looking at him sternly.

  “Oh well, I guess I could do that,” he said. “So, what’s first?” he asked rubbing his hands together. She smiled at him and slowly undid the front of the robe, parting the two sides carefully. Mitchell took a long deep breath as he caught a glimpse of the one piece purple bathing suit she had on. It was a perfect fit: low cut at the back showing her perfect back, and the front had a high cut but it was still enough to show off her cleavage. The right side of the suit was cut out giving her that sexy Toni Braxton look that’s seemed to turn him on so much. “Please tell me you will not be wearing that here,” he said looking at Natasha surprised.

  “Why? Don’t you like it?” she asked looking at her reflection in the mirror.

  “No, don’t get me wrong, I love it. And so will the hundreds of other male guests in this hotel and the pervs at the beach,” he said as he slowly stood up and walked towards her. “But right here, you can keep it on for as long as you want,” he said as he stood behind her and slowly placed two gentle hands on her hips. “Matter of fact, never take it off,” he added in a whisper as he kissed her shoulder. Natasha smiled.

  “If I don’t take it off, how will you get to the good stuff?” she asked as she felt one of his hands slide down to her well rounded ass. He looked up at her reflection and smiled.

  “I have a very, very creative mind,” he said. “Plus, I know for a fact that they can make these things crotchless,” he added before again kissing her shoulder. She smiled and held her his head against her shoulder as she felt his tongue slowly teasing her.

  “That’s good, that’s really good,” Natasha said as Mitchell’s other hand slowly rose to cup one of her breasts. Natasha turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled him down for a kiss when he suddenly went rigid in her arms. “What?” she asked looking into his eyes.

  “That kind of hurts,” he said. She slowly pulled away and looked at him.

  “Why didn’t you use the sun block?” she asked looking at him angrily.

  “I did,” Mitchell said. “But somehow I keep on getting sunburns,” he added looking at the pink blotches on his arm.

  “Oh honey,” she said as she took his hand. “Come with me,” she said as she walked him to the bed. He watched as she walked up to her makeup bag and pulled out a tube of lotion.

  “You are not going to put makeup on me, are you?” he asked looking mildly terrified. “Because the last time I had makeup on, I looked like a tranny – a really attractive one though,” he added with a smile. Natasha looked at him questioningly.
r />   “I don’t even want to know why you had makeup on,” she said. Mitchell held his hands up.

  “Whoa, it was a TV interview,” he said.

  “And attractive tranny? According to whom?” she asked as she sat down next to him. Mitchell smiled.

  “Really? You’ve got to ask?” he said. Natasha could not help but get a whiff of bragging in his voice.

  “Anyway, this isn’t makeup. Just some aloe vera. It’s really good for sunburns,” she said as she squeezed a generous amount onto her palm. She then rubbed her palms together and began to slowly rub the lotion on his arms.

  “How does it help exactly?” he asked as he looked at her gently rubbing the lotion in him. “Though it feels really good,” he added.

  “I know. It actually just soothes the damaged skin and makes it peel off,” she said. Mitchell grimaced in horror. “The peeling off happens eventually. This just helps speed up the process,” she added as she rubbed the lotion on his other arm. The serenity of the moment was suddenly interrupted by the loud ringing of a Skype call.

  “Seriously? Skype? On our honeymoon?” he asked as she quickly wiped her hands on a towel.

  “What? You didn’t hear me complain when you were on phone with the Patricia Lowndes,” she said looking at him sternly.

  “You knew…you heard that?” he asked as she grabbed her laptop.

  “The whole 13 minutes of it,” she answered as she sat down. “Besides, it’s Rita. It’s been a while,” she added as she finally connected the call. “Hey girl,” she said as she looked at Rita.

  “Hey you. How’s married life?” Rita asked as she looked at Natasha.

  “Awesome, couldn’t be better,” Natasha answered with a smile. “We even made new friends. Melinda and Kyle,” she added.

  “Why do I feel like I have been replaced?” Rita asked.

  “Oh honey. You cannot be replaced, ever,” Natasha said with a smile. Rita smiled back.