Beast in Shining Armor (A Kinda Fairy Tale)

by Cassandra Gannon

  Prince Avenant: Only the annoying ones.

  Prosecution: Sir, it’s a well-documented fact that you’ve tortured everyone in this kingdom.

  Prince Avenant: Which simply proves this kingdom is filled with annoying people.

  I mean, just look around this room. …Or in a mirror.

  Testimony of Prince Avenant- The People of the Northlands vs. Prince Avenant

  “Soggy marshmallows make a terrible breakfast.”

  “Why do you think I’ve chosen to go hungry?” Avenant finally got the fire going and sat down across from her. The flames would give away their position if anyone else got this far into the maze. He knew that, but he didn’t care. Belle needed to get warm and he was pissed enough to take on anyone who got in his way. His arm hurt, his lungs burned, and his skull felt like it had been pounded with a brick. “This is not how I pictured our honeymoon, you know.”

  “Funny. It’s exactly how I picture our honeymoon. It’s a cold day in hell.”

  “Very witty.”

  This level of labyrinth seemed to be nothing but water and stone and darkness. The river roared in front of them, behind them stood a solid rock wall, and all that was in between was a narrow dirt ledge. They’d made it to the small piece of dry land, but there was no way off of it. The only path was the one forged by the rapids and the water was moving too fast to get back in that torrent. Avenant had no idea how they were going to get out of there.

  This contest of valor thing was more complicated than the stories let on.

  Avenant sighed. “Grandpa Adam was a real dick, you know that?”

  “It runs in the family.” Belle sifted through the wet backpack. “Seriously, I’m starving. If we’re stranded here, we might as well take a break and eat. Do we have any chocolate? We could make s’mores.”

  Avenant was briefly interested in a new chocolate dish. “What’s a s’more?”

  “You don’t know what a s’more is?” Belle sounded shocked. “Geez, you really need to get out more. It’s a toasted marshmallow, a square of chocolate, and two graham crackers sandwiched together. Kids make them on campouts.”

  “I never went camping as a child.” He muttered. Not unless you counted sleeping on the floor of his closet, wishing he had food.

  “Me neither.” She admitted. “But, we’re kind of camping now. Better late than never.”

  Avenant glanced at her. The flickering light of the flames cast dancing shadows over her perfect face. “We’re not late.” He said with absolute certainty. “Everything is working out just like it’s supposed to. It’s inevitable.”

  Belle gave him a small smile. “You really believe in destiny, don’t you?”

  “Of course.”

  “I never noticed before, but you’re kind of a romantic.”

  That was the most ludicrous thing she’d ever said. “I’m not a romantic. I’m a fatalist.”

  “No, you’re not. You’re too arrogant to accept the idea that you aren’t in control of your own fate. Not unless you think it’s all going to work out in your favor.” She shook her head. “I think you believe in destiny because, deep down, you want to believe in happily-ever-afters.”

  Avenant rolled his eyes. “You sound like Scarlett. Bad folk don’t get happily-ever-afters. We just take what we want. I know you and I are inevitable, because I want you and I’ll do whatever it takes to have you. That’s not sentimentality. It’s survival.”

  “If you say so, Prince of Denial.” She ate another mushy marshmallow. “What I want figures in there someplace, though. And I want someone who’s emotionally available.”

  He slanted her a glare. “I’m emotionally available.”

  “You outlawed Valentine’s Day, Avenant.”

  “I had to. Someone else might’ve sent you flowers.” Ever since he’d drawn her a picture of a rose in kindergarten, he’d wanted to be the only man to give her flowers. Seeing her wear Peter’s corsage at prom had just about killed him.

  “Why didn’t you send me flowers?” Belle retorted. She clearly didn’t even remember that stupid crayon scribble he’d given her. Why would she? “If you knew I was your True Love, why didn’t you ask me out, or buy me jewelry, or do what a normal guy would do? Why did you have to be so cold?

  The woman drove him insane. “Because you didn’t want me! I tried to tell you the truth and you refused to hear it.”

  “You told me once when we were teenagers and in the middle of an argument. Why didn’t you really tell me you were my True Love?”

  Avenant was quiet for a long moment.

  “I would’ve believed you, if you’d given me a chance.” Belle insisted. “You didn’t have to trick me.”

  “Even if you’d believed me, you wouldn’t have slept with me and made it official. At best, you’d feel sorry for me. I had to maneuver you into it or you would’ve said no. I can deal with the fact that you don’t love me, but I’d rather have your hate than your pity.”

  Belle stared at him.

  Avenant dropped his eyes and decided to change the subject. “I think Lancelot may have been the one who sent those men to attack you in your bed.” He told her. “It only makes sense. He needed me out of the way to claim the Icen Throne, but he’s too ball-less to fight me himself. So, he set it up for you to overthrow me, thinking he’d then get the kingdom. Except the judge handed it over to you, instead.”

  Belle cleared her throat and gamely went along with the new topic. “Lancelot’s a knight. He’d only trust other knights on a mission like that and I don’t think those guys in my bedroom were knights.”

  Of course, she’d defend her precious squad of armored idiots. “Knights can be dickheads, just like everyone else.”

  “I know. But, they probably wouldn’t make so much noise breaking into a house. They’re trained to be stealthy.”

  “Sneaky.” He corrected. “As in sneakily trying to steal my crown in the sneakiest way possible. By going after my True Love.”

  Belle still wasn’t convinced. “Lancelot was pretty shocked up on the jungle level when you told him we were True Loves. I don’t think he knew. He’s not a good enough actor to pull off such genuine surprise.” She paused. “Besides, Lancelot doesn’t have anything against me. Or he didn’t before I took over the Northlands. The more I think about it, the more I feel like there was a more personal reason for them targeting me in my home.”

  Avenant grunted. “We should kill him, just to be sure. If nothing else, he’s definitely behind all the dead bodies we keep tripping over. Well, Lancelot or Bluebeard. We should kill them both and cover our bases.”

  “The two of them blamed you for the murders.”

  “Because they’re both fucking liars.” Avenant snapped. He instinctively defended himself, just in case she believed them. “You were with me, Belle. You know I didn’t…”

  She cut him off. “I’m not accusing you, for God’s sake. I’m just saying that if they were the killers, they wouldn’t assume you were the killer.”

  “They’re morons. Who the hell know what they assume.” He arched a brow. “Or maybe they’re just trying to set me up. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

  “I still feel like we’re missing something.” Belle chewed on her marshmallow. “Anyway, we need to get out of here. That’s the most important thing. No matter who’s doing the killing, sooner or later, they’re going to come after us and you’ve already been shot once today.” She got Prince Adam’s journal out again and flipped through the wet pages. “Damn it, some of the ink is running. I hope we can still read what your extremely-great-grandfather says about the third level of this maze.”

  “Oh me, too. It’s sure to be riveting.” Avenant made a face. “The man’s idea of princely behavior was abysmal. First it was the crap about helpfulness…”

  “And when we helped Lancelot, we found our way to level two, didn’t we?”

  “…Then the ‘looking within’ crap…”

  “And we went through a mirrored rab
bit hole. It was talking about seeing passed our reflections. Even you recognized that.”

  “…Now, I’m sure we’ll have to hold hands and sing Kumbaya or something equally unregal.”

  “Well, we are camping.” She pointed out distractedly. “Besides, you need to step out of your ‘regal’ box every once in a while. Maybe it’ll help you thaw out a bit.”

  He snorted at that idea. A prince had to maintain a standard of aloof splendor at all times. Everyone knew that. Belle ran the kingdom like it was some bleeding heart charity ward, instead of with the proper amount of authority. It was why she made a brilliant ruler and also an easy target. The citizens loved her, but they knew that they could take advantage of her softness. All this talk about “emotional availability” meant nothing compared to strength. He’d never seen his father so much as smile and that man had ruled for forty-five years.

  …Of course his father had been a total jackass.

  Avenant frowned.

  “Here we go.” Belle exclaimed excitedly. “Good, the page isn’t all washed away. The entry for this level is,” she hesitated, “actually it’s pretty short.”

  “Short is good.” Avenant wasn’t the biggest fan of Adam’s proselyting, so the less of it the better.

  “It says, ‘To be the true ruler that his kingdom deserves, a prince must find his balance.’” Belle wrinkled her nose in irritation. “That’s it. What do you think it means?”

  “We probably have to walk on a tightrope. And fight dragons. Quests always have dragons at the end.”

  She slammed the book shut at his glib tone. “You know, you’re taking this all very lightly. That sword is the only thing that will get you the Northlands back. I’d think you’d be a little more concerned about the fact that we’re stranded on this rock and no closer to finding it.”

  Avenant shrugged. “Maybe it’s just my romantic faith in destiny, but I’m not worried about someone else claiming Excalibur.”

  “Maybe you know something that I don’t.” She retorted. “This whole time, you’ve been smirking your ‘I’ve got a trump card’ smirk, so you might as well just tell me what’s going on. You knew going into this labyrinth that you were the only one who could win, didn’t you?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Bullshit. The contest of valor was your idea and you wouldn’t have risked…”

  “Rosabella Aria Ashman.” The minotaur called out, interrupting her. “I never expected you to make it this far. How very interesting you’ve turned out to be.”

  Yeah… that didn’t sound ominous, at all.

  “Knoss?” Belle turned to scan the darkness with a happy smile, like she completely trusted that asshole not to be an asshole. “Hey, is this the water you were talking about?”

  Avenant got to his feet and grabbed her arm. “Get away from the fire.” He tugged Belle deeper into the shadows, keeping her behind him. The woman never had enough sense to be afraid of beasts.

  Knoss chuckled, the sound coming from all directions. “I’ve lived in this labyrinth all my life, Prince. Do you really think I can’t find you?”

  Avenant closed his eyes for a beat. When he opened them again, he was seeing with the Beast’s vision. The monster could see far better than Avenant. The blackness was suddenly alive with shapes and movement. He could see the details of the rocks and the scrubby twigs he’d used to feed the fire and damp curls of Belle’s hair.

  He also saw a certain horned bastard.

  Knoss had somehow found his way onto the thin ledge and was standing there with his huge arms crossed over his huge chest. The Beast snarled in Avenant’s head, wanting to get free. It didn’t like the minotaur being so close to Belle.

  Avenant fought it back. He’d spent his entire life keeping the Beast caged and he wasn’t about it let it lose. Especially not in front of his True Love. He was having enough trouble convincing Belle to give him a chance without showing her that he was really an animal.

  “Knoss isn’t going to hurt us.” Belle assured Avenant. Because, she and the minotaur were apparently best friends, now. “He’s here to help.”

  The Beast and Avenant both glared at her. “Why the hell would you think that?”

  “Because he said he was, remember? He said if we made it to the water, he’d find us. Obviously, help’s going to help us get across it.”

  “Cross it to where? Look over across the river. It’s just another wall of stone over there.”

  “The labyrinth doesn’t care what you see.” Knoss reported, stepping into the firelight. “Its purpose is to show you what you don’t.”

  “God, you really just said that.” Avenant was so damn sick of all the quasi-philosophical bullshit about the maze. They even had him half-convinced it possessed some kind of awareness about their actions. “Fine. Tell me, what I don’t see, then. I’d like to get out of this pit sometime before July.”

  “You cancelled July, too.” Belle reminded him.

  “You canceled July?” Knoss arched a brow. “Why the fuck did you cancel July?”

  “The entire month annoyed me.” Avenant had been slightly drunk and very pissed when he’d made that edict. Belle’s birthday was in July and she hadn’t invited him to yet another one of her parties. Obviously, it hadn’t been his finest moment.

  Belle rolled her eyes and looked back at Knoss. “Just ignore him.” She advised. “Most of the calendar manufactures did. Right now, we need to find the sword and you need to help us.”

  “Do I?”

  “If you ever want to get out of this maze you do. Once we have Excalibur, you’ll be free. We have to be getting close, right?”

  “Geographically.” Knoss allowed. “But, given the number of dead bodies I’ve been finding in my labyrinth, I doubt you’re going to make it. You people seem to be faring poorly on this quest. If I were you, I’d quit while I was still breathing.”

  “We can’t quit.” Belle told him firmly. “Do you know who’s been killing all the contestants? If we stop them, everyone will be safer.”

  “Whoever it is, they’ve had help navigating the labyrinth.” He lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Probably from one of my kind. Not every minotaur loves the idea of freedom. Many prefer to stay here, rather than risk the unknown.”

  “I’m sure some people can relate to that.” Belle sent Avenant a pointed look.

  Avenant gave a scoff. “Please don’t compare me with these… beings.”

  Knoss arched a brow at Belle. “Are you sure you wish to seek Excalibur with this man? What do you plan to do if you find the sword? Give it to him? Fight him for it?”

  Avenant’s jaw ticked, knowing Knoss was right. Strategically, it made more sense for Belle go on alone. Only one of them could win this contest and now was the perfect opportunity for her to take the lead. The minotaur would help her and happily leave Avenant behind. She could make it to Excalibur while he was still trying to forge the rapids.

  Goddamn it.

  He couldn’t lose this. The only way to show Belle that he was strong and worthy was to get that fucking sword, so that’s what Avenant was going to do no matter how many minotaurs he had to decapitate.

  He slanted deadly glare at Knoss, sizing up his foe. “I’ll kill you before I let you take her.” He warned and he heard the Beast’s darkness rumble in his voice.

  Knoss smirked at him. “Try it, boy. Your monster is nothing compared to mine.”

  “Both of you stop.” Belle pushed herself between them. “I’m not abandoning Avenant on this rock, so the whole argument is pointless. He and I have a deal. We’re going to get to the end of this contest together and then we’re going to see who claims the sword. I’m not about to change the rules.”

  “In your place, he would change them.” Knoss nodded at Avenant. “You’re close enough to the finish line that he’d leave you behind and try to make it on his own.”

  “He wouldn’t leave me.” Belle sounded very sure of that.

  So
sure that even Avenant blinked at her.

  Knoss gave a scoff. “Of course he’d leave you. You’re an interesting girl, but he’s a beast. Why wouldn’t he choose the most selfish path?”

  “Simple. He hasn’t seen me topless, yet.” Belle nodded. “We had a whole discussion about it. Apparently, he’s fixated.”

  Knoss and Avenant both stared at her.

  “Oh.” Knoss said. “You’re right, then. He wouldn’t leave you.” He glanced back at Avenant. “Not even you seem that stupid.”

  Avenant barely heard him. God, he would never get used to Belle’s teasing comments. He felt himself gaping at her, amazed that she was sort of flirting with him.

  She gave him a slow smile.

  Avenant shook his spinning head and turned back to Knoss. “Just show us the way out of here, before I toss you in that river.” He ordered. “We’re staying together.”

  Knoss studied Belle for a moment longer. “You aren’t going to reconsider, are you?”

  “Nope.”

  “So be it.” He shrugged, absolving himself of any liability. “When you hit rock bottom, the only direction is up.” He pointed to the some barely perceptible handholds in the sheer wall. “And up. And up.”

  Avenant’s eyes followed the makeshift ladder up, and up, and up… and then finally to what looked like the world’s ricketiest suspension bridge spanning the gorge downstream. “Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.”

  Belle sighed. “I suddenly wish we’d gotten that dragon.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Everyone knows the Beast killed his father.

  We should never have allowed him to claim the Icen Throne, but we were all too scared to oppose to him.

  When I protested that a Bad folk couldn’t inherit a kingdom,

  Avenant threatened to smush me with a water spout.

  Testimony of Mr. Itsy Bitsy Spider- The People of the Northlands v. Prince Avenant

  Three Years Ago