Beast in Shining Armor (A Kinda Fairy Tale)

by Cassandra Gannon

  “I don’t doubt it.” She zipped up her coat. “I mean, that’s probably why watching you turn into a Beast didn’t bother me. I’ve seen you do way worse things.”

  “Like what?”

  “You redrew the royal processional route so it went straight through my front yard. Every day. At six am.”

  He winced. “I forgot about that one.”

  “Really? It sure sticks out in my memory. Especially the trumpeters.”

  “Well, you know, you’ve done some underhanded stuff, too.” He retorted. “When the palace released my authorized biography, you put it in the comedic fiction section of your bookstore.”

  “Oh, that’s where it belonged and you know it.”

  “Then you had clowns come and do readings of the chapters in funny voices.”

  Belle tried not to laugh at that memory, but it was hard. The book had been nothing but a pack of poorly ghostwritten lies, but the clown readings proved very popular. “The part where you invented pancakes was just hilarious after we added the balloon animals.” She gave a muffled snort when he glared at her. “Sorry.”

  “I did invent pancakes.”

  “If you say so, honey.” Belle patted his arm. “Come on. Let’s go claim our kingdom.” She headed for Excalibur, stepping over Lancelot’s splayed body. “Hey, do you think your cousin will be okay?”

  “He’s fine.” Avenant crushed the sliver mirror with his shoe, careful not to look at it again. The blue glow of magic winked out, its power fading. “Hell, I don’t even think enspelled Lancelot was so different than normal whiny him, anyway.” He moved to stand next to her, studying the sword. “So, are you ready to tell me why Peter couldn’t pull this thing free, even though Lancelot has royal blood?”

  Belle shrugged. “There may or may not have been a final page to Adam’s journal.” She explained. “It may or may not have mentioned that royal blood alone wasn’t enough. I may or may not have memorized it and then ripped it out, so no one else could win.”

  “And you’re just now telling me this?”

  “Is it my fault no one in your family reads?”

  “God, I love it when you’re a bitch.”

  Belle glanced up at him and grinned. “Thank you for saying I could claim Excalibur, by the way. Before I understood the last passage, I thought I was going to be the one to get the sword and give it to you.” She shook her head. “You totally would’ve beat me to it, though. I was standing there, trying to figure out what to do next, and you just leapt. As soon as you surrendered, I knew I’d lost the real game.”

  “Neither of us loses, so long as one of us wins.” He assured her piously.

  “Remember that next time I crush you at Scrabble.”

  He gave her a slight smile. “You were really going to give me the sword?”

  “Sure. After I made you suffer.” She shrugged. “Turns out I’m madly in love with you, but I still like tormenting you a lot. As it is, though, I think we should rule together, don’t you? I think it was always supposed to be that way.” She paused. “Also, I’d throw you in jail again if you ever tried to get rid of me.”

  “You really have ruined me for every other woman in the world, my love.”

  “I know.” She waved a hand at Excalibur. “Okay, let’s do this. Put your hand on it.”

  Avenant did, automatically giving the hilt a yank. The blade stayed locked in the stone. He frowned. “Are you sure…?”

  Belle laid her hand over his. “We have to do it together.” She explained. “That’s the clue on final page of the journal. It took me awhile to figure out, but I now I get it. I think Adam was trying to say that being a true ruler means caring about other people and needing them and trusting them. No one can do it alone.” She tugged upward at the same time Avenant did and the sword slid free, resting in both their hands.

  Avenant let out a long breath, staring down at it in amazement. “You did it, Bella.”

  “We did it.”

  “We did it.” He agreed and bent down to kiss her. “What did Adam’s last entry say?”

  She shrugged. “What else? ‘True Love conquers all.’”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  To be honest, I think Prince Avenant could be an okay guy, if he gave people a chance, ya know?

  If he made some friends. Maybe took himself a wife and had some kids.

  It’s no good to always be a cheese standing alone.

  Testimony of Mr. Farmer in the Dell- - The People of the Northlands vs. Prince Avenant

  One Year Later

  When Avenant’s son was born, the kingdom rejoiced.

  Eventually.

  Prince Adam was a beast, just like his father. His tantrums created snowstorm in his nursery, his tiny body transforming into an ice creature when he was unhappy. It freaked out more than a few nannies, doctors and passersby.

  But, once everyone got used to the electric blue glow of his eyes and the occasional frozen skin during diaper changes and an unscheduled blizzard here and there, they began to notice the new prince was adorable. He was always smiling and he liked to hear stories and songs. He was curious and sweet and way too smart for his own good. Most of all, Adam wasn’t locked away or feared by his parents. He was loved.

  The Northlands’ soon realized that a monster who was treated with love, wasn’t really a monster, at all.

  Everywhere he went, the baby beast was the most popular person in the room. And not just because he was usually the cutest. Adam spent his mornings sitting on Avenant’s lap on the Icen Throne, while his father dealt with bureaucratic concerns. Belle would grab him up in the afternoon, carting Adam from meeting to meeting, while she oversaw the Northlands’ social programs.

  The kingdom had never been so prosperous. Individually as rulers, Belle may have been too soft and Avenant may have too hard, but, working together, they were just right. With both of them in charge, forcing each other to compromise, thing seemed to find a natural balance. The citizens were deliriously happy and most of their gratitude was aimed at Adam, who was the new symbol of True Love conquering all.

  They baby thought it was all his due.

  So did his father.

  “You’re spoiling him rotten.” Belle warned. She sat up in bed, watching in amusement as Avenant adjust Adam’s fuzzy snowman pajamas.

  “His Auntie Letty’s the one who bought him this outfit, not me.” Avenant held his son to the mirror and smiled. He no longer hated seeing his own reflection, possibly because Adam’s features were identical to his own. “He looks great in it, doesn’t he?”

  Adam grinned in toothless agreement.

  “He looks great in everything,” Belle conceded, “but that’s not what I mean. You got him another horse today. He can’t even sit up yet, let alone ride.”

  “He will, though. And in the meantime, he likes petting them.”

  “That doesn’t mean he needs every horse in the kingdom.”

  Cradling Adam against his chest, Avenant headed over to the bed. Above the headboard were Excalibur and a framed crayon drawing of a yellow rose. “Alright, alright. No more horses. For a while, anyway.” He laid down next to Belle, tugging her closer with one arm and holding Adam with the other. “I just want our son to know he’s important.” He explained. “I want you to know it, too.” He kissed the top of her head. “I love you both more than anything in the world.”

  “We do know it.” She leaned against his shoulder and smiled in contentment. “You show us every day. I’ve never seen anyone work harder to be open with his feelings. But, there’s only so much room in the stable. Why don’t you buy Adam more books, instead?”

  “Because, we already ran out of room in the library, my love.”

  Belle shot him a mock frown. “You can never have too many books, though.” She studied his face for a moment. “Is something wrong? You look kind of troubled tonight.”

  Avenant sighed. “Our search parties finished combing the last of the labyrinth and there’s still no sign of
Esmeralda or Bluebeard.” He admitted. “I’m more convinced than ever that they fell through some rabbit holes.” No one cared about Bluebeard, but Esmeralda was a different story. All her friends were looking for her. “She could be anywhere.” Avenant continued. “And time doesn’t always pass the same way in those things, so she could be any when, too. It’s going to be next to impossible to find her.”

  “Nothing’s impossible.” Belle refused to give up. The Cheshire cat seers in the Enchanted Forrest said that Ez was still alive, so everyone would keep searching for her. “We’ll send men into the rabbit holes to look, next.”

  Avenant snorted. “Let’s put Lancelot in charge of searching vortexes, then. He’s gung-ho to be useful and anything that sucks that asshole into a realm far, far away is fine with me.”

  She refused to be amused by his snarking. “I think it’s nice that he wants to be friends with you.” Ever since Avenant had saved him from Peter, Lancelot had been working hard to gain his cousin’s approval. And to live down the weeklong period when he’d been a crying mess, waiting for the mirror’s magic to leave his system. “He’s not so terrible… for a chauvinistic, egotistical idiot. At least he’s accepting you as the rightful prince, now”

  “I’d still be happier with him in another dimension.” Avenant decided. “And with Esmeralda back home.”

  Belle chewed her lower lip. “You know, maybe Ez will figure out a way to contact us. Or maybe she’ll get back on her own. She has magic, so she’s pretty resourceful.”

  “She’s also insane. And a lot of people don’t like witches.”

  “A lot of people don’t like beasts, either. You won them over. I’m sure Esmeralda can, too. You were twice as unlikable as she is.”

  He snorted. “I love it when you’re a bitch.”

  “You say the sweetest things.” Belle reached over to tickle Adam’s jaw. “You daddy used to scare everybody, you know. They would run when they saw him coming. But, mommy tamed him and now he’s just a big old marshmallow. People wave to him on the streets and he doesn’t even have them deported for it.”

  “That only happened once. Most people are still satisfactorily intimidated by me.”

  “Daddy’s deluding himself, isn’t he?” Belle kept her attention on Adam. “No one even tries to depose him anymore. And I hear he’s going to let Mother Goose have her TV show back.” She made a “tsk” sound. “It’s almost sad how Good he’s becoming.”

  “Annoying or not, my princess insists those rhyming games of Mother Goose’s are educational.” Avenant muttered. “Even though they clearly don’t rhyme and they don’t have the right number of syllables and they’re stupid.”

  “The point is to encourage children to think about interesting words.”

  “Mother Goose’s Story Time Fun Show makes me think of a lot of interesting words.” Avenant rolled his eyes. “But, from now on the children of the Northlands will get to suffer through that feathered harridan’s irritating whimsy every weekday morning at ten.” He arched a brow at her. “I hope you’re happy.”

  “I am.”

  He considered that. “How happy?”

  “Very happy.” She purred. “I like being married to nice guy.”

  Avenant nuzzled her hair. “Oh, I can be extremely nice. Believe me.” He murmured. “Let’s put the baby to bed and I’ll show you.”

  She liked the sound of that. “Can we make it a game?” She never got tired of playing with this man.

  “Which game?”

  Belle fluttered her eyelashes.

  “Again? You always want to play with the Beast. Why can’t we ever pretend I’m a knight in shining armor?”

  “Because I prefer a beast in shining armor, of course.” She leaned closer to his ear and knew it would take less than two seconds to talk him into the fun. Avenant might grumble a little, but he liked letting the Beast loose to ravage her. He’d finally begun to see the monster as a part of himself, tearing down the walls of its cage. “Please?” She breathed flirtatiously. “I dare you to do wicked things to me.”

  He let out a low groan, him mouth finding hers. Yeah, he loved this game. “God, you really are a Bad little girl, Bella.”

  “I know.” She nipped his lower lip. “Face it, nobody else would put up with either one of us. I think it was inevitable that we were stuck together.”

  Avenant gave a slow grin. “Now who’s the romantic who believes in destiny?”

  “You’re rubbing off on me, I guess.” She swept her hair back behind her ears. “That reminds me, do you know what next Tuesday is?”

  She felt him hesitate. “The fifteenth of ex-July.”

  “Which is?”

  “Your birthday.” He said with a resigned sigh.

  “That’s right.” Belle nodded. “And I’m going to throw a party at my old house, just like I always do.”

  Silence.

  “I’m going to invite Scarlett and Marrok and Jana and Benji and all the women from my book club and that nice troll from down the road and maybe Humpty Dumpty. He’s really making a lot of strides in his PTSD treatments, I think. He barely hides from you at all, these days.”

  Avenant regarded her warily. “It matters if an egg likes me or not?”

  “Well, I can’t have a guest being scared of my husband all day, can I?” She shook her head. “It would be awkward for you if he started panicking that you were going to make him into an omelet or something. I want you to have a good time.”

  Blue eyes glowed. “You’re inviting me to your birthday party?” He asked in relief. “Really?”

  “Of course!” She gave him a smacking kiss. “I’m insanely in love with you, in case you haven’t noticed. You’re invited everywhere I go, because you’re the one I have the most fun with.” She touched his face. “It will always and forever be you, Avenant.”

  His lips curved, his gaze bright. “I won big when I got you for a True Love.”

  “And you didn’t even have to cheat… Much.”

  “I would have done anything, if it meant having you.” He kissed her temple. “So what do you want for your birthday? Name it and it’s yours.”

  “No more horses.” Belle warned. “I mean it.”

  “What about a pony?”

  “What about a daughter?”

  “Done.”

  He was serious. So was she.

  Belle began mentally expanding the stable. A certain doting daddy was going to buy his little girl a whole herd of thoroughbreds. It was inevitable. She shook her head, crazy about for this man. “Avenant, my parties were always about you.” She told him, in case he still didn’t understand that. “I only ever threw the damn things to not invite you and to get under your skin.”

  “It worked.”

  “Well, you’re easy to tease.” She arched a brow. “Hey, do you think Adam would like a waterslide?”

  “Everyone likes waterslides. Even beasts.” Avenant stroked her hair, his face going solemn. “Thank you, Bella.” He whispered.

  “It’s just a silly party…”

  “No.” He interjected. “I mean thank you. You saved me. You made me whole. I would’ve been cold all the way through, without your warmth. Thank you for setting me free.”

  Belle smiled at the Beast of the Northlands. “You’re welcome, my love.”

  Epilogue

  Q is for queen.

  Sometimes she’s mean and makes a big scene.

  But, sometimes she brings toys,

  and noise,

  and all kinds of joys.

  Maybe this queen is not what she seems,

  But, could be that she’s,

  just what you needs.

  Mother Goose’s Story Time Fun Show

  It was all Avenant’s fault. No one could dispute that.

  Esmeralda had been trying to do the jackass a favor. She’d gone into the labyrinth to help him get his kingdom back and win his True Love and --okay fine-- maybe to steal herself some shiny treasure or something. Instead, she
’d lost track of Avenant and Belle, been chased by a minotaur, and spent the whole night freezing in the ice corridors of the maze. She hadn’t even found anything worth swiping.

  To make matters worse, she’d accidently stepped in a rabbit hole and fallen through. For who know how long, she’d tumbling through empty space with no idea what waited for her on the other side of the darkness. It could be anything from dinosaurs to clowns to that stupid upside-down land.

  It better not be that upside-down land. That place was so frigging annoying.

  Luckily, being a witch meant that an endless free fall through a vortex was just a minor inconvenience. Esmeralda had been careening downward for ages, but now she was finally getting close to touchdown. Below her, she could see light. Wherever it was coming from, it was sure to be better than all this boring nothing.

  She hated being bored.

  Esmeralda’s powers slammed out, slowing her descent as she neared the bottom. If she’d had a broomstick, she could’ve tried flying out of the hole. As it was, though, all she could do was make sure she didn’t leave a crater when she landed.

  She crashed through the other end of the rabbit hole, dropping into the bright sunshine of a… garden party? Surrounding her were dozens of fancifully shaped rose bushes and dozens of people in fancifully shaped hats. She’d landed in the middle of a long table, piled high with frilly decorations. There were polka dot teapots and crust-less sandwiched and some kind of irritatingly chipper music playing from a tiny mouse orchestra situated on one end.

  She’d been wrong. Even nothing was better than elevator music.

  Esmeralda blinked, her eyes adjusting to the bright sunshine and the psychedelic array of neon patterns on everything. Even the grass was pink plaid. The only landmark she could see around her was a red and white checkerboard palace. This was definitely not the Four Kingdoms.

  Damn Avenant.

  Getting to her feet, Esmeralda brushed her hands together to remove shortbread crumbs. She’d landed on a plate of heart-shaped cookies all iced with the words “EAT ME.” This whole creepy place could eat her.