Wild Ride

by Jennifer Cruisie

  “Not like that,” Mab said. "I can see a couple of guys headed over this way to use the john, but I can't see my Second True Love coming for me.

  Besides, Delpha told me that Joe was my one true love and she was never wrong. I'm doomed to love him forever."

  “Yeah, sure.” Ethan gave her shoulder one last pat and edged her toward the door. “Come on. Let's go capture Tura; that'll make you feel better. And if you see that bastard Fufiuns on the way, let me know and I'll capio his ass.”

  “You don't have any place to put him,” Mab said as he opened the door.

  “Glenda's got some Tupperware,” Ethan said. “He can share space with some tuna until Gus finds the pieces to his box.”

  “He likes fish.” Mab said. ”At least he likes that damn mermaid. I hate fish. Fish are killer sluts."

  “Good to know,” Ethan said, rolling his eyes behind her, and motioned her out the door.

  Ethan gathered his team behind the Roundabout, not sure they were all going to make it. Weaver was geared up and alert; Glenda was tense; Gus was excited and worried, fumbling with the chalice; Young Fred was drinking from a beer hidden underneath his coat; and Mab, dry-eyed and half-sober now, was watching everybody and everything, reminding him of Delpha, since she was wrapped in that blue shawl with Frankie on her shoulder.

  An hour later, Weaver was still alert, Glenda was more relaxed, Gus was asleep, and Young Fred was mournful about his empty beer bottle.

  Mab was still watching everybody.

  “You okay?” he said to her.

  “No,” she said. “Are you?”

  “No.”

  “Well, there you are.”

  He was about ready to call it a night. The park had closed, so it was almost empty of people, the Tunnel of Love had shut down twenty minutes ago with no sign of Tura in the blonde, and his team was less than ready. Maybe they'd gotten a break and could get in a day of training -

  A woman's laugh echoed out of the darkness as two figures passed underneath an orange glowing light coming from the direction of the Devil's Drop.

  “Got anything?” he asked Weaver, and she nodded. see a francium trace," she said.

  “What?” Mab said.

  “Francium.” Weaver smiled at her, not warmly. “Demons are made of it. The goggles select for francium, which means I can see demons with them.”

  “How nice for you,” Mab said, shifting a little so that she was standing behind Glenda.

  “Tura's an Untouchable,” Glenda said. “Does your technology work on them?”

  “In our experience, all demons are essentially the same,” Weaver said. “Francium and evil form their base structure, which is why hitting them with iron, the most stable element, destroys them -”

  “Shhh,” Ethan said.

  The figures were passing them now, leaning on each other. The tall blonde and a shorter, frumpy guy.

  “Recognize her?” Ethan whispered to Glenda.

  “Crap,” Glenda said, worry in her voice. “That's Laura Ferris Wheel,”

  Weaver frowned at Ethan. “Laura Ferris Wheel?”

  “Her people run the Ferris Wheel.”

  “She's a good girl,” Glenda said.

  “She isn't now,” Ethan said as he saw Laura Ferris Wheel lead the man toward the Tunnel of Love.

  “Recognize the guy?” Ethan asked.

  “Some cheating schmuck,” Glenda said tiredly. “They always are.”

  The lights outside the Tunnel went on without anyone entering the control booth. The schmuck didn't appear to notice as Tura led him up the ramp to the first swan boat.

  “All right,” Ethan said. “Just as we planned. We're going in.”

  “Not with Weaver.” Glenda stepped in front of him. “Ethan, it's wrong to bring non-Guardia on a capture. It's dangerous.”

  Weaver hefted her demon gun. “Just give me a chance. I'll stay out of the way until I'm needed, but you're better off with me as backup.”

  Glenda and Mab looked at each other, and Weaver rolled her eyes and turned back to Ethan.

  Oh, good, Ethan thought. Catfight.

  Tura and the schmuck got into the boat, and Ethan heard the loud, echoing clang as the hook engaged and the boat began to move.

  “Let's go,” he said, and they headed out, around the right side of the heap of ugly pink concrete housing the Tunnel. Ethan pulled open the access door and led them all behind the dioramas to Antony and Cleopatra, where Frankie flew into the diorama and tried to eat a grape on Cleo's table.

  “That's not an eyeball,” Mab whispered to him.

  Gus held up Tura's chalice and said, “I'm ready,” and Young Fred nodded as his face began to shiver and change.

  The swan appeared around the first bend, Tura leaning into the man, her hands all over him, whispering into his ear.

  Young Fred's face solidified into Dead Karl's, and he stepped to the edge of the waterway. Tura looked up and saw him, shock crossing her face, blue-green flashing in her eyes.

  “Frustro!” Young Fred called out and Mab said, “Uh, specto.”

  Ethan thought, Oh, for fuck's sake, as the blue-green glowed stronger in Tura's eyes.

  “What the hell?” the guy with her said, looking from the diorama to his date as the swan floated by.

  “Specto!” Mab said louder, and threw her fist toward the glow, and Tura laughed an unearthly laugh.

  The guy with her drew back as the boat floated on. “What the hell?”

  “I know you,” Tura said, looking back at Mab, contempt thick in her voice. “Demon-lover.”

  Mab ran after the boat, catching up to it, her face furious as she snarled, “I said Specto! you bitch,” and flung her hand, pointed like a spear directly at the light in Tura, just as Weaver fired, the light writhing out of Laura a fraction of a second before Weaver's round hit her. The light expanded and crystallized into a mermaid, full-lipped, long-haired, and voluptuous, frozen in surprise against the wall as the swan boat floated on, taking an unconscious, wounded Laura and a terrified schmuck around the bend.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Mab yelled at Weaver as Ethan stepped in front of them and said, “Capio.” and sucked the blue-green mermaid into him, sure this time of how to capture. He felt Tura grab his heart, shrieking, and the pain was terrible, but he caught her, held her, conquered her, not even feeling the bullet inside him anymore, and then he turned as if in slow motion toward Gus, who held out the chalice.

  Glenda put her hand on his shoulder and said, “Redimio, ”and he felt Tura flow out of him, blessed relief, and toward the chalice.

  Gus stepped forward with the lid, but the demon shifted and rushed into Glenda, the force of the possession slamming her off the walkway and into the water to the bottom of the tank.

  Then the blue-green shot up from the water again and Mab yelled, “SPECTO!” and the mermaid took form, squirming furiously, and Ethan yelled, “Capio!” and took her, and this time, he grabbed on to Gus, and tried to expel the demon himself as she went for his heart.

  Glenda!" Mab said, but Weaver already had her body out of the water and was starting CPR. Mab looked back at Ethan, seeing the furious spirit struggling inside him, along with something else wrapped around it, something red and hot and strong, and then Weaver stopped compressing, and Mab bent and breathed into Glenda's mouth twice, trying to put more than just breath in there.

  “I think she's gone,” Weaver said, her voice sick.

  “No,” Mab said. “Glenda!” She shook her, and Glenda's head rolled back, her eyes staring sightlessly at the roof of the tunnel. “No, no, no”

  Mab began to pump, and Weaver said, “Let me,” and went back to doing a professional job while Mab bent over Glenda and said, “You are not dead. You. Are. Not. Dead.”

  Frankie flew down to land on a fake tree branch above her, and for a moment Mab had double vision, staring at Glenda and staring at herself staring at Glenda. She shook her head to clear it, and thought, Delpha said you can see thing
s, that you had to look hard. She stared into Glenda's dead eyes, reaching inside her instinctively, searching for a spark, a memory, anything that was alive, and found it, a small point 0f tension, as if Glenda's spirit was holding on by just that thread even though her body had died.

  Mab latched on to that spark. Come on, Glenda, come on, you don't want to die, you're not ready to die, come on, you have so much to live for -

  And then Ethan was there beside them, breathing two breaths into his mother's mouth, taking over the chest compressions as Weaver moved hack, but he looked sick.

  Maybe because he knew she was dead.

  Mab leaned down to Glenda's ear. “You get your ass back here,” she whispered. “If you don't, Weaver is going to fuck up the Guardia forever.”

  The point of tension seemed to grow a little tighter, as if Glenda's spirit was clenching its fist.

  Ethan kept pumping.

  Mab whispered again. “She's going to drag Ethan back to the military, do demon experiments on him.”

  The point turned into a knot, glowing now.

  "And she's probably gonna be the mother of your grandchildren.

  Think how badly she's going to fuck them up."

  The knot exploded, and Glenda gasped and sat up, wide-eyed and shaking, as Ethan fell back.

  “Don't do that again,” Mab said as she held on to her, tears in her eyes. “You scared the hell out of us."

  “Medevachopper is on the way,” Weaver said from behind them, and then her voice changed. “She's alive?”

  “Chopper?” Mab said.

  “Thank god,” Weaver said. “We'll get her to the hospital at Wright Pat, Top priority -”

  “No!” Glenda said, and Ethan put his arm around her and said, “Easy, Mom, you need -”

  She pushed him away. “I am not going to a hospital, and I am sure as hell not going to a military hospital.” She glared at Weaver. “I know what you're doing, the same thing you want to do with Ethan. You're not getting me into some Area 52 experimental lab,”

  'Department 51,“ Weaver said, taken aback. ”And I wasn't -"

  “No, ”Glenda said, and Mab could feel her spirit trembling as she said it.

  “Okay, that's it.” Mab stood up. “Glenda, you calm down. Weaver worked like crazy to save your life, she's on our side. Weaver, stand down. Glenda's not going anywhere in any helicopter.” She looked at Weaver. “It's a black helicopter, isn't it?”

  “Yes,” Weaver said, annoyed now. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

  “Just checking my work.” Mab held out her hand to Glenda and helped her to her feet. “You really should let me call 911. You just died, for Christ's sake.”

  Glenda leaned on her, white-faced and shaking. “No helicopter. No military.” She looked at Ethan. “Tura?”

  “We got her,” Ethan said, and behind him Gus held up the chalice, looking like hell. “I don't know how, but it's over, she didn't kill the schmuck. We need to make sure Laura's all right.”

  “I'll go see.” Gus shoved the chalice into Ethan's hand and hurried out of the tunnel.

  Glenda slumped against Mab.

  “Okay,” Mab said, holding her up. “We're going back to the trailers. Fred?”

  Young Fred appeared from behind Weaver, looking shaken.

  “Go get a golf cart. We have to get Glenda back home.”

  “You bet,” he said, and ran down the tunnel to the opening, only to come back right away. “There's a helicopter out there.”

  “Tell it to go away,” Mab said, and Weaver said, “You prefer a golf cart to a medevac? What's wrong with you people?” and strode down the tunnel.

  “Lovely woman,” Mab said to Erhan.

  “She has a point,” Ethan said, looking at his mother with concern, the chalice tucked under his arm. “You should be in a hospital,” he told her. “You should -”

  “I want Mab,” Glenda said. “She'll know.” She pulled away and held out her right hand. “Tell me. Am I going to die?”

  “Eventually,” Mab said. “Stop being such a drama queen. One near-death experience and you're acting like a diva.”

  Glenda gave her the old don't-fuck-with-me look.

  “Welcome back, Glenda,” Mab said, feeling a little teary about getting glared at again. “Left hand. This is about the heart, remember?”

  Glenda held out her left hand, and Mab put her palm down on it.

  A fluttery heartbeat growing stronger, sun shining, Glenda laughing in front of the Statue of Liberty.

  “Huh,” Mab said.

  “Am I going to make it?” Glenda said.

  “Unless Heaven has a Statue of Liberty, yes.”

  “Then I'm going back to my trailer,” Glenda said, just as Young Fred came back and said, “I've got the golf cart.”

  Glenda took an unsteady step toward him, and he put his arm around her for support. “Come on, old lady, you ain't dead yet.”

  “Call me an old lady again and you will be,” Glenda said, but she leaned on him just the same.

  “I'll stay the night with her,” Mab told Ethan. “But then we have to talk. There are so many things wrong here -”

  “I'll stay the night with her,” Ethan said, and after a moment, she nodded. “The high-tech stuff will work, we just have to figure out how.”

  “The tech is crap,” Mab said, and went out into the cool night air.

  A helicopter lifted off as she hit the midway, and Weaver stood looking after it, mad as hell, as Glenda got into the golf cart.

  Ethan walked over to Weaver and put a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to him, furious. “I'm going with Glenda,” he said. “I'll talk to you later.”

  Then he got into the golf cart with his mother and set off down the midway, Weaver watching him in stony silence.

  “I don't know him very well,” Mab said to her. “But I think he's a good guy. Tonight was just a mess all around, but he's doing his best -”

  “He wants me to give everything while he gives nothing,” Weaver said. “My job is on the line here, he needs this equipment, but -”

  “Just give him a chance,” Mab said. “We have to figure this out, but the two of you seem really good together -”

  Weaver turned away, and Mab watched her walk off into the darkness, carrying her stupid gun.

  “Don't blow this,” she called after her. “He's a good guy.”

  Unlike the cheating bastard demon I had to go and fail for.

  On the other hand, Glenda was alive. And now that she'd stopped fighting it, living the rest of her life in Dreamland didn't sound that had. It wasn't like she'd married Fun or done anything irrevocable, she'd only known him a week, how bad could it be -?

  Frankie flew down to rest on Mab's shoulder.

  “I'd take him back,” she told the raven. “If he wasn't a demon, I'd take him back,”

  Frankie did the closest thing to an eye roll she'd ever seen in a bird.

  “Right. So tomorrow we move to Delpha's trailer so we can keep an eye on Gus and Glenda. You'll be back in your nest by this time tomorrow night.”

  Frankie cawed, a cheese grater on a fire escape, and Mab smiled at the beautiful sound, full of approval and love.

  “Yeah, that seems right to me, too,” she said, and headed for the Dream Cream.

  Ray sat down on the bench and said, “I found Tura and told her what you said, and she wasn't happy about it, but she let the Guardia take her. She's back in her chalice.”

  TAKE THE CHALICE TO THE KEEP BEFORE SHE ESCAPES AGAIN.

  “Tura killed Glenda.”

  GLENDA.

  “But then Mab brought her back.”

  MAB IS YOUR NIECE,

  “Yeah. She's not dead, either. I think she's Delpha's replacement.” Too many young Guardia now. Too resilient. Not enough despair.

  BRING MORE MINIONS.

  “Okay, maybe you didn't notice this, but the minions are not effective.”

  SEND THEM TO HARASS THE GUARDIA UNTIL H
ALLOWEEN. THEN AT ONE MINUTE AFTER MIDNIGHT ON HALLOWEEN, DIVIDE THEM INTO FIVE GROUPS AND SEND THEM TO KILL EACH OF THE GUARDIA SEPARATELY AND SIMULTANEOUSLY.

  “That's a lot of minions.”

  The front section of Ray's hair fell out, leaving him with a very high forehead.