by Molly McLain
But is Colton? Because that’s what I need right now, though I’m not sure his remorse would even be enough. He’s the man I love and he’s giving what I want more than anything to someone else.
That’s not something a girl can just forgive and forget.
- - -
Colton
“I’m done with this shit.” My boot connects with the side of my helmet and, a second later, the hard plastic crashes into the concrete wall of the locker room. I knew better than to hold off on telling her. I fucking knew.
“You can’t be done,” Bria pleads, her panicked eyes following me as I pace. “It doesn’t work that way.”
“The hell it doesn’t,” I snap. My voice is raw and gritty. Not all that different than the ache burning in my chest. “She hasn’t talked to me in weeks because of this bullshit and tonight? Tonight I went too far.”
“It’s how this business works, Colton. You know that.”
“Do I?” I laugh bitterly. “Because this sure as hell isn’t what I signed up for.”
“Maybe not initially, but fame usually comes with drama. You either deal with it or you don’t.”
“I don’t. Not anymore.” Plain and simple. Once upon a time, I thought my career meant everything to me. But tonight, hearing Taylor cry on the other end of the phone with who the hell knows there to comfort her instead of me? Fuck that.
None of this means anything without her and I’ll be damned if I let someone else give her the comfort she used to get from me. Especially now.
“I’ll quit.” The words feel strange on my tongue, but the relief that manifests in my gut is instantaneous. “I’ll call Liz—”
“And tell her what?” Out of nowhere, my agent bursts into the locker room with Tito hot on her tail.
“Sorry, man, I tried to stop her,” he apologizes, though his focus quickly snags on Bria, whose eyes drop immediately to the floor.
“You walk out, you lose everything,” Liz warns with an arrogant smirk and I grunt. She doesn’t get that I already have.
“I don’t give a damn about the contracts. Never have. As for the title…” I lift a careless shoulder. “Let Brandon have it.” He probably deserves it more than I do anyway.
My agent throws her head back with a laugh that can only be described as demonic bitch. Goes well with her stuffy pencil suit and prim and proper hair, too. “You don’t want to do this to me, Colton. You really, really don’t.”
“No?” I snort. “Something I should have told you a long time ago is that you don’t get to decide what I want and what I don’t.”
“Yet you do what I say anyway,” she chuckles. “What’s that say about you, Country Boy? Huh?”
That I’ve been a goddamn idiot. But not anymore.
“You’re fired,” I say with an overwhelming sense of ease. “From now on, you can work through my lawyer.”
Her eyes go wide for a split second before her face sours with pure venom. “I’ll ruin you,” she seethes, as I walk toward the door.
“You already have.”
- - -
“You’re serious.”
I stalk into my apartment, on a fast track to my bedroom. “Yep,” I say confidently to Tito, who follows behind. “Should’ve done this a long time ago.”
My roommate watches from the doorway while I go to closet, grab my suitcase, and start stuffing crap in. “But you love riding, bro. You can’t say ‘fuck it all’ because of this publicity BS. Talk to Louie, man. Before you do something stupid.”
“What’s Louie gonna do, huh?” I shake my head and pull a few shirts from a drawer. High Octane’s CEO obviously had his head up Liz’s skirt when he let a dickhead like McKinnon on the circuit. He’s not likely to have any sympathy for me right now.
“Look, I know you’re all riled up about hurting Taylor…” Tito puts up both of his hands, in what I guess is supposed to diffuse me, but too little, too late. “But this is your career, man. It’s as big a part of who you are as she is.”
A raucous laugh booms from my chest. “Motocross started as a friggin’ hobby, dude. A fun way to earn some cash. But Taylor…” I close my eyes and her face is right there. So goddamn beautiful with that big, breathtaking smile of hers. “She’s the reason my world goes ‘round. The reason I give a shit about anything.”
Yet, tonight I made her world stop. I wiped that pretty smile clean off that face I love so much, and I put tears in her dark brown eyes once again.
“I don’t know if I can fix what I’ve wronged…” I grab jeans and socks, my toiletries and shoes… “But I’m sure as hell going to try.”
“And if it’s too late?” Tito asks. “What’ll you have then? It sure as hell won’t be your career.”
I shoot him a humorless grin. “If I don’t have her, I won’t need my career.”
Chapter Four
Taylor
“Made you some tea.” Adam pads into the living room with a steaming mug. I can already smell the chamomile, and I smile at the gesture. He’s been amazing. Aside from the hour he zonked out next to me on the couch watching Netflix, he’s been up all night, trying to keep me from getting too far into my own head.
“Thank you.” I take the big cup and he reclaims his spot on the other end of the sofa. “You really don’t have to do this,” I offer quietly. “I’m sure babysitting a woman who’s prone to impromptu crying jags and bursts of anger wasn’t penciled into your Sunday off.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” He feigns exasperation, which I have to admit is kind of adorable on his scruffy face. “I happen to love The Great Food Truck Race, you know.”
I laugh, and the hot tea sloshes over the side of my cup and onto the blanket on my lap. “All the drooling you did over the chicken and waffles gave that away hours ago.”
“Damn straight.” Flicking a glance at his watch, he twists his lips thoughtfully. “Speaking of which, my favorite waffle house just started serving lunch. You hungry?”
Starving. I only picked at dinner last night, which isn’t making the little pumpkin very happy right now. “I could eat.”
“Fantastic.” He jumps up again, with far too much energy for the amount of sleep we’ve had. “I’ll run out and hook us up. Any requests?”
“One of everything?”
“If that’s what the lady wants…” His grin is playful, but the gleam in his eyes says he’d happily accommodate me.
“I’m not that distraught,” I chuckle, though something greasy would probably go a long way to improving my mood. “Anything with cheese, please. Oh, and bacon.”
“Uh, that’s pretty much everything in Wisconsin, is it not?”
I laugh again and watch him stuff his feet into a pair of sneakers. “In case I haven’t said it yet, thank you.” I don’t know many guys who’d do what he’s done in the past few days for a woman they barely know. “You’re a pretty cool guy, Adam Morin.”
“Whoa.” He holds up a hand. “Keep it down, will you? The team finds out and my reputation’s down the shitter.”
Uh huh. “How about this? You keep my secret, and I’ll keep yours.”
Dropping his scruffy chin, he points a finger at me. “You’re on, T-Swizzle.”
- - -
I wake up who knows how much later to a knock at the door. Or at least I think it’s a knock. Just a few moments of rest has turned my brain to mush. Then again, it could have been the dream I had about Colton. A not-so-appropriate fantasy that involved more kissing than crying, damn him.
“Taylor,” a male voice sounds through the door and I lurch upright, suddenly remembering Adam’s venture.
“Coming!” Stumbling to my feet, I haphazardly tug my pajama shorts and tank top from the night before back into place. At some point today, I should probably change and grab a shower, but first…food.
“I’m so sorry. I must’ve dozed off,” I apologize as I pull open the door to face a man who is most definitely not my roommate. “What are you doing here?” I gasp
, momentarily wondering if maybe I’m still dreaming. But Colton’s tired eyes lock onto mine and I realize this is no fantasy.
“Came to see you,” he says, low and drawn out, as his gaze takes a detour down my body. “Christ, you’re beautiful.”
“And you’re drunk,” I snap, my arms instinctively crossing over my breasts. My braless breasts, which apparently have no moral compass, because they seem to actually like his frat boy come on. Or maybe it’s his familiar scent. Or the T-shirt that clings tightly to his shoulders and arms.
“Not a sip.” He shakes his head and, for a moment, his eyes clear. “This is just me, Tee. All fucked up over you.”
Oh, please. “Shouldn’t you be in California?”
“Nope.” Another quick shake of his head. “I belong here. With you.”
“Not according to what I saw last night—”
“The kid’s not mine,” he says quickly, and the relief that rushes through me is almost embarrassing. “How about you let me in so we can talk about this?”
“Why would I want to do that?”
“Because I’m sick of not talking to you and, if those tears you cried last night were for me, then I’m willing to bet you’re sick of it, too.” He tips his head to the side, green eyes I love so much pleading. “I miss you, Tee. I can’t stand the shit we’re doing to each other.”
“The shit you’re doing,” I correct him. “I’m just living my life like I’ve always been.”
“You’re not talking to me anymore. You’ve all but cut me out and I want to know why.”
Why? Because he came inside of me—twice—and then told me he was going to carry on a fake relationship with someone else. Maybe it’s not a big deal to him, but sleeping with my best friend isn’t something I take lightly. “Nothing I say seems to matter, Col, so why bother?”
“I fired Liz.”
What? I blink at him, not sure I heard correctly. If he fired his agent, then…
“I can’t play this game anymore.” He pushes a hand back through his dark hair, making it stand on end while the muscles in his thick arm twitch. “You know I never wanted to do it to begin with, and last night…” His gaze settles on mine again, and even my bitter heart can’t deny the remorse I see there. He’s not only physically exhausted, but emotionally, too. Just like I am.
“Last night what?” I ask, and, damn it, if the wall I’ve built around my heart doesn’t start to crumble. How pathetic is that?
“Last night was too much.” He tucks his hands into the pockets of his rumpled jeans. Jeans that look like he pulled them haphazardly from a pile on his bedroom floor. “I let them push me into a corner, and I ended up doing something I swore I’d never do again.”
I wait…and hope a hell of a lot more than I should. I’ve been so mad at him. So confused. But right now, seeing him standing in front of me with so much regret in his eyes…
I’m not going to win this battle. My heart is too battered and my resolve is too weak. And I miss him. I miss him so damn much.
“I hurt you,” he admits quietly. Like it pains him to say the words, and the agony in his voice is like a blade straight to my chest. “Hearing you so upset on the phone, knowing I was to blame…” Breaking off, he gives his head another shake. “I’m done, Tee. For fucking real this time.”
I want to whoop. I want to cry. I want to throw my arms around him and never let go. But I’ve heard this before, so I lift my chin bravely.
“You can’t show up on my doorstep with apologies and think everything’s going to be okay.”
He makes a wry sound. “I wasn’t sure you’d even talk to me. Believe me, I don’t have any expectations.”
I search his face for a long moment, taking in those deep green eyes, that slightly crooked nose I love so much, that dark, bristly jaw I want nothing more than to rub my cheek against…
“I’ve cried more in the past two months than I have my entire life,” I admit, and he dips his chin.
“So have I.”
Dear God.
“I’m not asking you to forget what I’ve done. I’m just hoping we can talk.”
I bite my lip and take a careful breath. I want to talk, too, but more than that, I want him to hold me like he used to. If just for a little while, I want to pretend that nothing has changed and that we’re the same Colton and Taylor we’ve always been. Maybe it’s foolish—heck, I’m sure it’s foolish—but if there’s anyone I’m willing to take a chance with, it’s him.
“I’m tired,” I say quietly, the anger dying in my voice. “And I’m pretty sure you’ve had less sleep than me.”
“Nah, I’m fine.”
“You’re lying.” The dark shadows beneath his eyes give him away. So does the husky rasp in his voice and the heavy droop of his shoulders. “You forget how well I know you.”
A sheepish smile turns up one corner of his mouth. “I could grab a hotel room and come back later, if that’s what you need.”
I need a lot of things, but him walking away right now isn’t one of them.
“A lot has changed in the past three months.”
“You’re telling me,” he chuckles softly, rubbing a hand around the back of his neck.
“But one thing is still the same.” Please, God, let this be the right decision.
His raised eyebrow urges me on.
“You’re still my best friend.”
- - -
Colton
“Don’t think this means you’re off the hook. I’m just too exhausted to tell you how I really feel.” Taylor tugs me through her apartment, pausing only to grab a pillow and blanket from the couch. I don’t complain. Not only did she let me in, she’s touching me, too.
“Fair enough,” I say, glancing around. The place is definitely a man cave, with a few of her things scattered throughout. It’s not a bad set up, by any means, but it’s obviously his. And I fucking hate it.
“Where’s your roommate?” Since I’m pretty sure he’s the prick who answered her phone last night, I should probably do a little recon.
“Crap.” Taylor stops short in the hall and drops my hand likes it on fire. “He ran out for a minute.”
I don’t like the pink creeping into her cheeks, but I bite my tongue.
“He’s bringing lunch.” She swallows hard. “For the two of us.”
Yep, it’s official—this guy and I are never going to be friends. I keep my mouth shut, though. I don’t have a leg to stand on and I’m damn lucky she didn’t slam the door in my face. I’m sure as hell not going to give her a reason to wish she had.
“Have you eaten?” she asks quietly, and I nod.
“Grabbed breakfast at O’Hare.”
“Good.” She nibbles on her lower lip, looking everywhere but at me. Why?
“You all right?” I’m not sure I want to know what’s going on in her pretty head, but again…I didn’t come all this way to be an ass. I met my quota on that front months ago. “If you’ve changed your mind…”
“No,” she replies quickly. “No, it’s fine. I just…” Her eyes flash to mine for a second. A second just long enough for me to get the point—she’s hiding something. “I don’t want to be rude. Adam’s been really sweet through all of this.”
Sweet? I just bet. “You told him about me?”
“Yeah, Col.” This time, she’s less uncertain. More determined. “I needed someone to talk to while you were living it up with your girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Whatever, Col.”
“Maybe I should meet this guy, then. Thank him for looking after you.”
The color in her cheeks goes as dark as her lips in an instant, and it’s everything I can do not to grunt like a fucking caveman. I’m the guy she’s supposed to open up to. The one who’s supposed to know all of her secrets, not some guy she’s been shacking up with for less than a goddamn month.
Suddenly, the door swings open and the smell of food proceeds the bulky dude carrying it
in. “Honey, I’m home,” he calls out with a sly grin on his face. A grin that fades the moment he spots me. “Well, shit, Tay, I didn’t know we had company.”
Tay? It’s Tee, motherfucker.
“Adam, this is Colton. Colton, Adam.” Taylor waves a reluctant hand between us, and I’m just as hesitant to offer a civil greeting. I’ve always trusted Taylor, and if she’s got something going with this guy, I only have myself to blame. But I don’t like the way he looks at her. Not one damn bit.
He moves before I do, setting the takeout containers on the island to offer an outstretched hand.
“Heard a lot about you,” he says with an arrogant grin. “None of it good, though.”
Prick. I squeeze his beefy mitt a little harder, and the asshole just smiles. “That’s okay. She saves all the good stuff for me.”
Besides me, Taylor makes an annoyed sound, then mutters something under her breath that sounds an awful lot like Neanderthals.
“Col and I have some things to discuss,” she says in a louder, irritated tone. “I hope it’s okay that we do so here?”
Her roommate shifts a softer smile her way. Again with that fucking look in his eyes. “Sure thing. I’ve got some paperwork to do in my office. Just holler if you need me.”
She won’t be needing you, dude. Ever fucking again.
Probably reading my mind, Taylor nods toward the hall. “My room’s on the left. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be there in a few.”
I’m not used to being the one who backs down—or the one to be dismissed by my best friend, for that matter—but I go because it’s what she wants. Not before I give her new friend one last acknowledgement, though. “Thanks for taking care of my girl, man.”
He never takes his eyes off of her as he laughs. “My pleasure, believe me.”
Chapter Five
Taylor
“Are you out of your ever-loving mind?” I snap at Adam, as soon as Colton closes my bedroom door behind him.
“What? You think it was too much?” he chuckles, already opening up the takeout containers in search of his order.
“Oh, no, not at all!” Why can’t men just be freakin’ decent to one another? Not every interaction requires a ruler and an unzipped fly. “You know that just made things worse, right?”