With every word he spoke, the storm clouds in Mara’s gaze darkened. He was torn between being the man she wanted him to be and reverting back to the coldhearted jerk so familiar to him. Parker had a good reason for his cold heart. At least that’s what he’d convinced himself through all these years. A few mind-blowing kisses weren’t going to change anything.
“Real fun,” she repeated, as if she were turning the words over in her hands to examine them.
“You know what I mean.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “I do.”
The tiny section of his heart that had opened to this woman wanted her to argue. To push him to do the right thing.
But she was too proud for that, and he admired her all the more because of it.
“Enjoy your fun,” she said, making her displeasure in his choice clear.
He could think of nothing he wanted to do less than get in his car and drive away. He turned and walked toward it anyway.
* * *
Mara got out of her car and handed a cup of coffee to both Josh and Brynn the next morning.
“Tell me you brought muffins, too?” Josh rubbed at his eyes.
“Almond poppy seed,” Mara confirmed, reaching into the backseat for the bag.
Josh gave her a quick hug. “You’re the best.”
Brynn chuckled. “Late night?”
“Sort of.” He shrugged and pulled a muffin out of the brown bag. “Anna has night terrors sometimes. They started after Jenn left. The doctor says she’s still processing the loss.”
“I’m sorry,” Brynn said. “Tyler has been sleeping with me since Daniel died. I know I should make him stay in his own bed, but I can’t bring myself to do it.”
Mara sighed. “I wish Evie wanted to cuddle or had bad dreams or something I could fix.” She shook her head. “Never mind. Forget I said that. I’m a horrible mother. Of course I don’t wish for her to have nightmares. She’s stoic, and I don’t know how to help her. We haven’t even been through half as much as either of you, yet I feel like I’m the most out of control.”
Josh and Brynn stared at her for several long moments, and then both of them burst into laughter. “If you think I’m in control,” Brynn said, wiping at her cheeks. “You need to peek a little closer.”
“Look around to see how not in control I am at the moment.” Josh held out his arms. “I’m a pathetic grown-ass man who’s relying on my brother to help bail me out of my mess.”
“I’m a pathetic divorcée who lives with my aunt,” Mara muttered.
Brynn leaned in like she was sharing a secret. “My kid is ten years old, and I’m still wearing nursing bras because I haven’t had a reason to buy new ones.”
Josh paused with the muffin halfway to his mouth. “That’s too much information.”
“But you win in the game pitiful one-upmanship.” Mara put her arm around the other woman’s shoulder. “Also, we’re going to set up a date to go lingerie shopping.”
“Can I come with you?” Josh asked with an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle. “You’ll probably want a man’s opinion.”
Brynn laughed. “That’s a strong no.”
“Gross,” Mara added. “It would be like modeling for my brother.”
“Speaking of brothers,” Brynn said, looking at Josh. “Where’s yours? I thought he might be here for the planning.”
“He’ll be back tomorrow,” Josh said around a bite of muffin. Funny, he didn’t seem bothered by Parker’s absence the way Mara was.
“He had to go back to the big city.” Mara hated the feeling of rejection she couldn’t quite shake. “There wasn’t enough to keep him entertained in Starlight.”
Brynn gave her a questioning look, but Josh didn’t seem to pick up on her irritation. “He’s doing me a huge solid with his help. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking buying this property in the first place. As if I didn’t have enough reminders of my dad around town...”
“It was a big deal when the mill left and the town council couldn’t find another business to take over the property.”
“The one glaring failure of his years as mayor that he always thought would ruin his legacy.” Josh balled up the muffin wrapper and tossed it into a nearby trash can. “He couldn’t ever let it go, and now I’m stuck in the same position.”
“But you’re turning it into something new,” Mara reminded him. “You’re going to be a success here, Josh.”
“And then what?” he asked. “I’m a contractor, not a property manager. Once this place is up and running, I want to move on to the next project, but a retail space like this is going to take daily oversight.”
“Hire me,” Brynn blurted.
Mara turned to her friend. “I thought you were a teacher?”
Brynn kicked at the dirt with the toe of one boot. “I’m not anything. I don’t even have a college degree, but I want to go back to school. The district normally hires subs with more education, but they know me so they’re making an exception.” She looked from Mara to Josh. “I want a career, not just to be someone’s substitute. I could do this, Josh. I know it.”
He ran a hand through his already messy hair. She had no doubt Josh would do the right thing and he didn’t disappoint her. “I need income from the retail spaces to make it work. Mara’s given me a new design that will make things run more smoothly, but we still need to fill the space.”
“You’ve got the coffee shop,” Mara said.
Brynn glanced toward the main building. “What about a space for local artists? A cooperative of sorts, filled with gifts and crafts.”
“I like it,” Josh admitted.
“I can talk to Betsy at the community center gift shop.” Brynn clapped her hands together. “She knows everyone in the area. We’ll find tenants, and I’ll keep them happy. I’ll work so hard. I promise I won’t let you down if you give me a chance.”
“Let me put together some numbers and see what it would take for me to pay you a decent salary.”
“I’ll work for free,” Brynn offered.
“You need to be able to support Tyler,” Josh reminded her. “No mother should ever be in a position where she can’t make the right decisions for her family.”
“I wish your brother had half your character,” Mara told him.
He frowned. “He’s the one who told me. There was a time when our mom wanted to leave, but she had no support system and no money of her own. She was stuck married to my dad, and we all paid the price.”
Mara felt like she’d just been slapped across the face. How was it possible Parker could say those words yet still do what he’d done to her in court?
“Then maybe someone should needlepoint that sentence and frame it for him so he doesn’t forget when he’s destroying someone’s character in court.” She forced a laugh, as if she were making a joke.
“He isn’t perfect,” Josh admitted. “The way we were raised took all the ‘fun’ out of dysfunction. We were in survival mode more often than not, and it was only exacerbated by the fact that most of the town thought our dad was the second coming. It was tough, but he’s trying to do better.”
Unbidden, a vision of Parker with Evie popped into Mara’s brain. He’d certainly tried hard enough with her daughter.
“I always thought he took the easy way out,” Josh continued. “He left Starlight and never looked back. But he also never dealt with his issues. I hope working on this project will be as cathartic for him as I need it to be for myself.”
“You’re doing the right thing,” Brynn said, placing a gentle hand on his arm.
“Most days it doesn’t feel that way, but I appreciate the thought nonetheless. Now let’s take a look at what progress we made this week. I think we’re at a place where you’ll be able to see the vision.”
As they followed Josh into the mill, Mara tried no
t to think about Parker and what he’d survived from his childhood. It made it too difficult to stay angry with him, and she understood her anger was the only thing saving her from wanting more.
Chapter Nine
Parker drove into Starlight as the sky above the town turned from shades of pink and purple to gray. Night settled on the valley like a blanket. His breath caught at the beauty of the mountains outlined like a charcoal sketch against the waning light.
He could appreciate the peace of the hour now, but as a kid he’d dreaded this time of day. It meant his father was coming home and whatever normalcy they’d managed to cobble together could be wrecked the instant Mac walked through the door.
Of course, there were stretches of time when his father’s temper lay dormant. Days, weeks, and on rare occasion a span of months when his father would be normal, like other dads. He’d kiss his wife when he walked through the door, smile and ask about their days in a quiet, steadfast way, and the brothers would begin to believe that maybe things had finally changed.
Until something triggered him, sending them all back into the tailspin of anger. One of the worst stretches was during Parker’s sophomore year of high school. Josh was a freshman and their dad up for re-election. For the first time since he’d become mayor eight years earlier, one of the members of city council had brought up the idea of term limits. Mac had been open to it in public, assuring the civic leaders that he was interested in what was best for Starlight, not continuing his own political dictatorship.
Behind closed doors, he railed and raged, always looking for an outlet for his frustration. More often than not, he’d found it in Josh, who didn’t have Parker’s innate survival instincts. Parker had done his best to protect his brother, but Josh didn’t make it easy.
At the same time, the Dennison Mill shut down, leaving dozens of locals with no jobs. Mac had made it his mission, and a large part of his campaign platform, to sell the property and find an even better tenant. One that would revitalize the local economy.
He’d won the election and there had been no more talk of term limits. But he’d never managed to revive the mill or repurpose the property, and that failure had come to represent everything to him.
His father was gone and the mill finally getting a second life. Despite the struggles that had come with it, Parker was so damn proud of his brother for taking on this project. He had to admit being a part of it helped heal some of the long-buried scars of his past, as well.
He drove through town, hushed and peaceful at this time. The glow of light from the windows of houses he passed seemed to mean more than it did in the city. Here he could feel the warmth emanating from the homes and imagined families or couples gathered around tables for dinner or to watch a football game on television.
Assumptions were dangerous. Parker knew that better than most. People had assumed things about his family growing up that were nowhere near the truth.
Pulling into his brother’s driveway, he blew out a breath. It amazed him that although he thought he’d left his past behind, it was so much a part of who he was—as if it were sewn into the very fabric of his being.
He let himself into the house, careful to be quiet since it was past Anna’s bedtime.
Josh sat in the family room, the TV tuned to football but with the volume muted. Parker had texted to say he was returning tonight and noticed a bottle of single-malt scotch and a two glasses on the coffee table.
“Hot date?” he asked, shrugging out of his jacket as he entered the room.
“I thought the plan was to come back tomorrow morning?” Josh sat forward and poured three fingers of liquor into each glass.
“I didn’t want to fight Monday rush-hour traffic.”
Josh gave him a look that silently called Parker out on the lie.
“You’re still my little brother,” Parker said, taking the glass then lowering into one of the club chairs flanking the sofa. “Don’t make me come over there and prove it.”
“You missed us. Admit it.” Josh grinned. “You’re not the island of emotionless solitude you want everyone to believe.”
“I have a great life in Seattle. I have friends—”
“Acquaintances,” Josh countered. “Who you don’t really care about.”
“I care,” Parker lied.
Josh didn’t look convinced.
“Don’t discount a successful career.”
“It brings you no joy.”
“I’m not Santa Claus.” Parker resisted the urge to grit his teeth. “Joy isn’t on my priority list.”
“Maybe it should be.”
“Where’s your joy?” Parker demanded.
“Anna.” Josh smiled. “Ice cream with the Pink Ponies.” He took a slow sip then set down his glass again. “The girls missed you after the game.”
“That’s the biggest lie you’ve told tonight.”
“You should have seen Evie’s face when the girls were retelling the story of her block. She became a hero in that moment. You would have thought she’d taken a bullet to the stomach instead of a soccer ball.”
A dull ache started in the region of Parker’s heart. There was no way he’d admit how much he would have liked to see her grin. “This is your life,” he said instead. “Not mine. I’m here to help but I’m not going to suddenly become part of this community. We both know I’m only passing through.”
Josh lifted one shoulder, let it fall again. “You still have feelings.”
“I don’t have feelings,” Parker mumbled, aware of how ridiculous he sounded.
“Right,” Josh said with a laugh. “Tell me about your nonfeelings for Mara.”
Parker threw back the rest of the whiskey in his glass, welcoming the way his throat burned.
“I thought so.” Josh leaned forward. “She’s special, Parker.”
“Okay.”
“And she’s been hurt. You had some responsibility in that.”
“I was doing my job,” Parker insisted without much conviction.
“Let’s talk about your job. I remember when you said you were going to become a divorce attorney.” Josh held out a hand and Parker passed him the empty glass. “Although back then you called it family law.”
Parker sucked in a breath. “I know what I said.”
But his brother wasn’t finished. “You wanted to help families navigate the tough times so no one would end up feeling as helpless as Mom did in her marriage.”
“I don’t need you to tell me about my career goals.”
Josh poured more whiskey into the glass and pushed it across the table “Are you sure? Because unless Mara has wildly exaggerated the bitterness of her divorce and her husband’s propensity to be a world-class jerk, you helped put a wonderful woman and dedicated mother into the same predicament as Mom.”
“Mara’s ex wasn’t abusive,” Parker said through gritted teeth.
“Maybe not physically,” Josh conceded. “But you’ve spent enough time with her to understand the number he did on her self-confidence.”
“She’s better off without him.”
“Yes, but it’s been a monumental struggle for her when it shouldn’t have been. Not with the money that man has.”
“She didn’t fight hard enough.”
“Would you say the same thing about Mom?”
Acid scorched Parker’s gut. “It’s not the same and we both know it.” He stood up and stalked to the fireplace, tapping a hand against the brick and wondering how much damage he’d do to his knuckles if he slammed his fist into it. “What’s with the knight in shining armor act?” he asked, turning on his heel. “Are you looking to swoop in and rescue Mara?”
“She doesn’t need me to be her hero,” Josh answered, leaning back against the sofa cushions. The more distressed Parker became, the calmer his brother appeared. It was a strange role reversal for t
he two of them, and it didn’t sit well. No part of this conversation felt comfortable for him. Why the hell hadn’t he stayed in Seattle? His life might be empty there, but at least it didn’t make his whole body feel like it was on pins and needles.
“Then she certainly doesn’t need me to be anything.”
“She likes you.”
Parker released a breath. “That would be stupid for both of us.”
“No doubt,” Josh agreed easily, “but I can tell.”
“How?” Parker asked, unable to stop himself.
“She blushes every time your name is mentioned and then looks angry because she can’t stop it.”
Parker felt his mouth curve into a smile despite his best effort to keep a straight face. He could see Mara clearly in his mind, her shiny hair and luminous skin flushed an adorable pink. He liked it best when she realized how she was reacting. Her eyes would grow dark and it was difficult to tell whether she was more frustrated with herself or him. Either way, he loved garnering a reaction from her.
“You’re just as bad,” Josh added. “Look at you with the moony eyes.”
“I’m seriously going to kick your butt if you make one more mention of that.” Parker dropped his gaze to the hardwood floor. “I don’t moon at anyone.”
“You have a chance here.”
He stilled then forced himself to meet his brother’s gentle gaze. “A chance at what?”
“Redemption,” Josh said without hesitation.
“I don’t need to be redeemed.” The acid churned again, but this time it felt more powerful. A wave cresting, ready to obliterate everything he’d worked to build in his life. All the walls and the self-control.
“Dad would have said the same thing.”
“Are you comparing me to our father?”
“No. You’re nothing like him.”
The words felt like a balm to Parker’s tattered soul, if only he could believe them. “And yet...”
Josh was at his side in an instant. “You aren’t him,” his brother said, gripping Parker’s arms.
“You’re the one who pointed out how I’d helped ruin Mara’s life. I might have never laid a hand on a woman, but my actions—”
The Last Man She Expected Page 11