“You’re a good man.” Josh gave Parker’s arms a not-so-gentle squeeze then stepped back. “I couldn’t have made up this much time on the mill renovations without your help. Anna adores you. Mara has every reason in the world to hate your guts, but she can’t because she sees who you are on the inside. We all do, Parker. I only wish you would, too.”
They stood in silence for several seconds. There was so much Parker wanted to say, but he didn’t know how to get the words out without breaking down, and he’d never allow himself to show that kind of weakness. He wanted to believe his brother but didn’t know how to move past all the flaws he saw in himself to become something different. Someone more.
In the end, he shook his head and turned away. “I can’t.” Did he sound as miserable as he felt? He stood staring at a chipped square of brick above the fireplace mantel until he heard Josh leave the room.
When he knew he was alone, he grabbed the bottle of scotch from the table then dropped to the sofa. Closing his eyes, he tipped the bottle to his mouth. He didn’t know how to make himself better, but he could sure as hell find a way to stop feeling so damn much.
* * *
“You look like hell,” Mara said, whistling under her breath then grinning as Parker held up a hand.
“Are you trying to call all the dogs in the state to you with that piercing noise?”
He sat at the desk in the office he shared with Josh, staring absently at the plans in front of him. He didn’t glance up, and Mara wasn’t sure whether to feel sorry for his obvious distress or gloat that he’d chosen Seattle over her and now seemed worse for the wear because of it.
She chose gloating.
“Fun weekend?” She pulled out the chair from the smaller drafting desk, making sure to drag it across the concrete floor so it made a loud scraping sound.
Parker moaned and pressed his fingers to either temple.
“How was traffic coming out of the city this morning?”
“I came back last night,” he said tightly.
“You’re in recovery mode from Saturday night still? That must have been quite a party.” Mara’s sunny mood from the morning plummeted. She didn’t know why his weekend activities bothered her so much, but they did.
It was better, she’d tried to tell herself. She needed a bit of physical distance to help break the invisible thread of connection that linked them together. His life remained in the city, and she would never go back even if the opportunity presented itself. With time and distance she’d realized the person she’d become in her old life wasn’t who she wanted to be.
She’d tried to save her marriage after Evie’s birth had driven a wedge between her and Paul. It had felt strange to keep her devotion to her baby hidden, but she’d done her best to maintain two separate existences. The first was Mara the mom, her heart so full of love for her daughter it felt constantly on the verge of bursting.
The other role became increasingly more difficult. Paul had expected her to go back to work, putting in hours and remaining at his side for events and parties, just as she had before their daughter had come into the world.
Mara had hired a nanny, and ignored the pang in her chest each time she had to say goodbye to her baby. Lots of mothers worked. She could manage it. But it became more. Paul had become increasingly disinterested in her and Evie.
They’d never spoken about it, but Mara had quietly tried to manage what she assumed was the manifestation of his disenchantment with fatherhood.
Now she had feelings for another man who lived a different life than the one she wanted for herself and her daughter. Despite his kindness toward Evie, there was no doubt in Mara’s mind that she couldn’t be what he wanted in a woman, not for the long term anyway.
“I did laundry,” he muttered then reached into the desk and pulled out a bottle of aspirin. She watched as he shook two of the pills into his hand and swallowed without bothering with water to wash them down.
“You’ve got a two-day laundry hangover?” She snorted. “I was born at night, Parker. Not last night.”
“Josh and I had a drink when I got back last night.”
“I saw him outside working on the siding when I came in. He’s fine.”
Parker shrugged. “He stopped. I kept going.”
She stood, stepped closer to the desk. “So you stayed home to do laundry then came back here and got drunk alone in your brother’s house?”
“About sums it up.”
“Why?”
He stared at the desk in front of him for so long, she though he might not answer. When he finally looked at her, the intensity of his gaze made her heart feel like it might skip a beat. “You.”
“Me?” The word came out a croak, and Mara cleared her throat. “What do I have to do with anything?”
“I drank to distract myself from thinking about you.” He pushed away from the desk and stood. “I got so damn drunk that I couldn’t possibly drive. That was the only way I could be sure I wouldn’t show up at your house and admit what an idiot I’d been to walk away from you on Saturday.”
“You’re an idiot?”
“Don’t pretend the news comes as a shock.” Parker walked slowly toward her, and every instinct for self-preservation she had told her to walk away. Or run. That would be smarter.
She didn’t move.
“I’m no good for you,” he said when he was in front of her. “We both know it. I can never be the kind of man you deserve.” He reached out, his thumb grazing her cheek. “Somehow that doesn’t stop me from wanting you.”
Mara’s pulse hummed. “Welcome to the club.” Although his mouth didn’t move, it felt like he smiled at her words.
“I want you,” he repeated. “Nothing I do seems to stop it. We’re here together on this project. I gave my word to my brother. It might be easier for both of us if I could leave Starlight and not come back, but that isn’t an option yet.”
Yet. One word reminded her how temporary Parker’s presence in her life would ultimately be. Her mind raced. Because temporary meant an end date, and an end date meant she could stop herself from truly falling for him.
“What’s option B?” she asked, hoping she already knew the answer.
He lowered his mouth to hers, and her body purred to life in response.
“This would be temporary,” she forced herself to say when he finally pulled back. “No strings.”
He nodded, his blue eyes filled with the same level of passion she knew must be reflected in hers.
Her body liked the idea of it immediately, but a little voice inside her head warned her it wouldn’t be as easy to cut ties with Parker as she wanted to believe.
Mara ignored that voice.
“It’s a deal.” She held out her hand, and Parker grinned as he took it.
“Did we just make some kind of sex pact?” he asked with a chuckle.
“I prefer to think of it,” she told him, “as a mutually beneficial temporary arrangement.”
“That’s a lot of words.”
“You’re an attorney,” she reminded both of them. “You like words.”
“I like you.” The rough timbre of his voice sent shivers rippling down her spine.
She leaned up on her toes and kissed him again. It felt exciting and new to be able to give in to the temptation of Parker. He cupped her cheeks in his hands, as if her mouth on his was a precious gift, one to be cherished. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt cherished.
“You’re the best hangover cure I’ve ever experienced,” he said against her lips.
“You should try a milkshake and a hamburger at the diner in town. It’s a surefire remedy.”
“Great. I’ll take you to lunch.”
Her head snapped up, the lustful haze she’d been in suddenly doused with icy water. “I can’t go to lunch with you.”
/> “Why?”
“People will talk.”
“Let them talk.”
“Spoken like someone who doesn’t live in a small town anymore. You don’t know how it is around here.”
“I know exactly how it is,” he countered. “We work together, so if you need a reason we’d be out to lunch, there you go. I can do temporary, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be relegated to some dirty little secret. I want to spend time with you. Both you and Evie.”
Her stomach did a series of flips worthy of an Olympic tumbler. “I don’t want Evie to get attached to you,” she said quietly, not bothering to mention she was as worried about her own possible attachment as she was about her daughter’s.
“I’m her coach,” he argued. “And her best friend’s uncle. It won’t seem strange for me to be around.”
True, and she’d been fine when Parker wanted to help coach her daughter. Was this really any different? Just because they’d decided to act on their attraction to each other?
She could handle it, and maybe it would be good for both of them. Mara had no intention of getting serious with a man any time soon. She had little interest in dating even if she had the energy for it.
“Fine.” She took a step back, folding her arms across her chest. “But don’t think you’re going to be Mr. Charm-School and sweep either of us off our feet.”
“I wouldn’t dare.” He winked. “Although you’re only human, so I’m not sure you have a fighting chance with regard to my charm. It’s like a force of nature. I can’t control it.”
She threw her head back and laughed, mood restored.
Josh walked in at that moment, darting a questioning gaze at each of them. “What’s so funny?”
Mara turned toward him. “I’m going to date your brother.”
He gave a grunt of disbelief. “Oh, yeah. That’s hilarious.”
“It’s true, though.” She patted his shoulder. “Just temporarily while he’s in Starlight. Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious. Two consenting adults who—”
“I can’t go there.” Josh held up a hand. “That is the worst idea in the history of ideas.”
Parker shook his head. “Maybe we could have eased him into it?”
“The direct method is better. I stopped playing guessing games when I got divorced. It will be fine.”
“I bet someone uttered those words after the Titanic hit the iceberg,” Josh muttered.
Mara only smiled, refusing to be deterred. Only by bulldozing her way through this could she keep things under control and in perspective.
Temporary. No strings attached.
They all turned toward the window as a large truck pulling a flatbed trailer loaded with lumber trundled into the parking area.
“That’s the wood for the trim.” Parker ran a hand through his hair as he took a step toward the door. “I’ll tell them where to unload and get the sawhorses ready.”
“Coward,” Mara said under her breath as he moved past.
“Yep,” he agreed readily. “See you for lunch.”
“We’re not on the Titanic,” she said to Josh when they were alone.
He raised a brow. “The Hindenburg?”
“We’re keeping it simple. You already know there’s something between your brother and me. What better way to get rid of an itch than to scratch it?”
“That’s also a great way to make it spread.”
She blew out a breath. “We’re not talking about poison ivy.”
“I’m aware, Mara.” He walked to the desk and took the seat Parker had vacated minutes earlier. “You’re both adults. I’m not going to make a big deal of this, but I will tell you to be careful.”
“I’ve got it under control.”
“You’re not as tough as you want people to believe.” He pointed a finger at her. “For that matter, neither is Parker. He’s trying, but I’d guess this is unchartered water for him.”
“Dating?” Mara sniffed. “I doubt it.”
“Dating a woman where he doesn’t call all the shots. My brother and I grew up in the same house. We’ve dealt with the ramifications in different ways. I tend to commit too quickly. I want to save people the way I wished someone would save me. It’s not healthy. Maybe if I didn’t take everything on as a crusade, my own marriage wouldn’t have fallen apart.”
“Don’t you dare blame yourself.” Mara placed her palms flat on the desk and leaned forward. “Your daughter had cancer. Of course you’re going to be a crusader. Any parent would. Your ex-wife’s actions aren’t your responsibility. She left, Josh. It’s horrible but that’s on her. Even if for whatever reason she didn’t want to be in the marriage anymore, there’s no excuse for walking away from Anna.”
“Thank you. Sometimes I go down the rabbit hole and...”
“I know.” She sat down across the desk from him. “I’m the same way. Maybe if I’d been better at balancing things. Maybe if I’d kept Paul happy, my daughter would still have a father.” She held up a hand when he would have argued with her. “I understand what I’m doing with your brother, and the reason I mentioned it in front of you is because we’re friends. I’m due for some fun, Josh. You and I are both due.”
He groaned. “Don’t make me think about you and my brother together.”
“Agreed,” she said with a laugh. “Just know our friendship won’t change.”
“I can’t call you my casual sex sister-in-law?” he asked with a smirk.
“Well, you can.” She plastered on her brightest smile. “But only if you’re looking to get your butt whupped.”
“Just take care of your heart,” he said, suddenly serious.
“I will,” she promised, a lump forming in her throat. She had friends in Starlight. It was home, and as much fun as she knew she’d have scratching all the itches with Parker, she’d never jeopardize the life she’d built for herself and Evie.
Chapter Ten
“I’ve changed my mind.” Mara spoke more to herself than Parker. She pressed her back against the brick building. A cold wind whipped up from the alley across the street, and she drew her cable-knit cardigan closed tight with one hand.
It was forecasted to turn warm again by the weekend, but the early part of the week called for cooler, rainy weather. It was just the kind of day Parker would have liked to spend under the covers, preferably naked with Mara. Although that seemed like a long shot given the change in her mood from earlier.
“You don’t want a burger?” Parker frowned, unsure what to make of this nervous, jittery woman. He’d gotten so used to the confidence Mara projected. Even when he knew it was a facade, it still impressed him. He couldn’t understand what had happened from the time they’d left the mill to when he’d parked his truck around the corner from Over Easy Kitchen, which had always served Starlight’s best burgers.
“I have lunch meat and a loaf of bread at the house.” She gave him a panicked smile. “Let’s eat there.”
That plan actually worked for Parker, but it didn’t explain her sudden burst of nerves. “Why?” he asked slowly.
“People will talk.” She repeated her argument from earlier, darting a glance to either side.
“About what?” he coaxed, feigning ignorance at her concern.
“Us.”
“Mara.” He reached out a finger and tipped up her chin until she met his gaze. “As much as the idea appeals, I’m not exactly planning to ravish you in the middle of the restaurant. So unless you can’t resist throwing me down on one of the Formica tables, I don’t think we’re going to give them much to talk about.”
“It’s a small town. They don’t need much.”
“People have seen us together before today. I’m sure most everyone knows why I’m in town and that you’re helping with the design for the mill.”
She pointed a finger at him. “
Is this a date?”
Wrapping his fingers around hers, he brought her hand to his lips, brushing a kiss across her knuckles. “Will it freak you out if I say yes?”
She scrunched up her nose. “Probably.”
He leaned in until he could feel her sweet breath against his cheek. “Yes.”
Her eyes drifted closed and her chest rose and fell in several shallow breaths. “Okay.” She swallowed and met his gaze. “I’m starving so it’s time to be done freaking out. Let’s eat.”
“That’s good to know,” he said as they started down the sidewalk again.
“What?”
“You don’t like arguing as much when you’re hungry.”
“But I’m happier after I’ve eaten,” she told him. Her cheeks were tinged pink from the cool air and her eyes bright, making her look even more beautiful than normal.
He smiled, something he did a lot around her and not enough in his regular life he realized. They entered Over Easy. There were several new restaurants in Starlight, trendier establishments that served microgreens and locally sourced everything. He liked that Mara hadn’t balked when he suggested this place. It was easy enough to do trendy in Seattle. In Starlight he wanted a guarantee of a great meal.
She bypassed several open tables in front of the window and headed to a quiet two-top near the back. Parker waved to a few people he recognized but didn’t stop to talk because he wanted to stay with Mara. She slid into the chair, grabbed a laminated menu from the stack behind the napkin dispenser and held it up in front of her face.
After taking the seat across from her, he plucked the menu out of her fingers.
“I wasn’t finished looking,” she protested. “Get your own.”
A waitress wearing a black T-shirt and denim skirt, an improvement over the polyester uniforms Parker remembered from his childhood, approached the table. It made him the tiniest bit nostalgic for those celebratory family dinners they’d had at these tables. For once, he thought about his father without bitterness. Mac had always been on his best behavior when they were out in public. There were plenty of moments when Parker had felt like he was being paraded in front of the town to prove that Mac was the benevolent family man of his public image. But sometimes Parker still appreciated the feeling of being a normal family.
The Last Man She Expected Page 12