It was already Monday and he looked dejected as he sat on the edge of Claire’s bed watching her get ready for work. After two days of just enjoying all the city had to offer and spending hours in each other’s arms, they had become even closer. It seemed like things were moving so fast between them, but she didn’t mind and he didn’t seem to, either. It was if we were meant to be.
Once she was ready, he drove to the office and dropped her off in front while he went to park the car. It was best that they not arrive together. He would join her once she was settled into her office so that we could finalize the Turner ad campaign and then we would go for a “business brunch” so they could say their goodbyes before he headed off to the airport again.
“I can’t believe this weekend has gone by so fast,” she said.
Claire was already feeling down about his departure, but was trying not to pout over her crepes.
“Me, either, but we will see each other again soon.”
He smiled at her in that way that always melted her and made her feel instantly better. She beamed happily back at him.
“All right, well let’s get you on the train to the airport. I must get back to the office to finish up the tweaks to the graphics you requested. I will send you the final via email for proofing and then go over them with Ida since we didn’t have a chance to do so earlier,” she told him, still smiling.
“You are going to make someone a fine employee one day.”
Harper winked at her and leaned down to kiss her again as they stepped out of the café and were faced with heading separate ways down the sidewalk. After a public display of affection that no doubt caused the snickers they heard nearby, each went separate ways until they could be together again.
“I miss you,” he told her later in the evening on the phone. “Why must you be so far away?”
“I know. I miss you, too. It’s so great when we are together and so lonely when we are apart. I’m already looking forward to getting back there.” There was silence for a moment as each of them pondered their own thoughts.
“When will that be?”
“I’m not sure. Soon, I hope.”
In fact, it just couldn’t be soon enough. She couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was about him that drew her in, but from the moment she had laid eyes on him in Times Square, she had known she wanted him. Granted, she hadn’t expected to turn up in his office, but she couldn’t honestly say she had been too distraught about it.
They chatted a bit more and then said their goodbyes. Claire was beginning to realize why so many people hated long distance relationships. Even only temporary separation might as well have been a year’s parting. Before she knew it, Friday had rolled around again and he would be on his way back to her soon.
Chapter 27
Only one more day until Harper would be home, she thought happily as she sat in her apartment waiting for Samuel to arrive from his treatment. The buzzer went off and she went to answer it.
“Claire, can you help me?”
It was Samuel, calling her from downstairs, too weak to make it up by himself. She made a note that she was going to start meeting him at the hospital rather than letting him arrive in a cab alone in this condition. She would foot the bill for a car service and ride back with him instead.
“Come on. Let’s get you up these steps. Maybe we should start getting you back to your place after treatments. No steps and it’s closer to the hospital.” She felt horrid about having not thought of it sooner.
“I just don’t want to disrupt your routine any more than usual. I’ll be fine,” he said, but she knew he wouldn’t.
“It wasn’t optional, really. I’m going to start meeting you there and getting you back to your place as quickly as possible. No argument.” They were both breathless by the time they reached the top of the landing.
“Agreed.”
He obviously knew that it was best and if she were willing, he wasn’t going to argue with her. After what she had already known would be the usual routine of him getting ill and then laying down for a while, they sat down to eat what he could manage. He seemed so much sicker this time than he had before.
“Thank you for everything. I’m going to get out of your hair now.” He stood from his chair and she saw him suddenly waiver and grasp the back of it for support.
“Oh, yeah. I don’t think so, Samuel. Let’s get you back to bed. I don’t have any plans tonight and you seem weak. Just crash here for tonight and let’s see how you feel in the morning.”
There was no way she was letting him leave like this, much less spend a night alone.
“I don’t want to impose.” Claire knew he was sincere.
“You aren’t. Now, let’s go, mister.”
Claire walked him down the hallway and helped him out of his clothes while he sat on the edge of the bed. It wasn’t the first time she had seen him in his boxer briefs and it had no effect on her other than to notice how thin he was getting. She was going to have to start getting more calories in him somehow. With him settled in, she lay down on the couch and started watching a movie, but quickly fell asleep, only to be awakened some time later by the doorbell.
Chapter 28
“There’s my girl!” she heard as she opened the front door.
It was Harper. In her sleepy haze, she momentarily forgot that Samuel was in her bed. Claire beamed at Harper, then remembered Samuel.
“Harper… I wasn’t expecting you.”
It dawned on her that she was now in a pickle she hadn’t anticipated. It had never occurred to her that he might be spontaneous and surprise her with an early visit.
“Claire, are you okay?”
It was Samuel calling to her from the bedroom. She glanced that way and then back at Harper. The look on his face said everything that he wasn’t. He pushed past her and stormed to the bedroom, turning on the light.
“What the fuck is going on here, Claire?” She had never seen him angry and it frightened her a little.
“Harper, I can explain. Just listen to me for a moment.”
God, why hadn’t she already told him? This looked so much worse now than it would have if she had just told him.
“Man, just chill. Nothing is going on here,” Samuel said in a tired voice.
He sat up in the bed as he spoke, causing the covers to fall away and revealing that he was in only his underwear. Before she could react, Harper started toward him. There was a loud pop and then blood sprayed everywhere.
“Harper, NO!”
Claire pulled him away before he could hit Samuel again. Samuel was dazed, but attempted to stand, to defend himself. Instead, he fell back on the bed. Blood poured from his now split lip as Harper stood glaring at the both of them.
“I thought I could trust you Claire. I don’t need this kind of shit in my life.”
He stomped down the hallway as she tried to stop Samuel’s bleeding. She heard the door slam as she fought back tears. There was nothing she could do about it right now. He would need time to cool off and then she would talk to him. For now, she just needed to tend to Samuel.
“Go after him, Claire. I’m fine.” Samuel had his shirt from by the bed now pressed against his lip so his words came out a bit garbled.
“I’ll be right back.” Claire ran down the hallway and onto the landing, catching a glimpse of Harper as he cleared the bottom. “Harper, wait. Please let me explain.”
“No, Claire. I’ve been screwed over too many times to let you try to tell me nothing was happening when there is a mostly naked man in your bed. A man that you told me I need not to worry about, I might add. I knew there was something about that guy. Well, fuck me.” He was seething, barely able to articulate the words.
“It’s not like that,” she began.
“I don’t care what it is like, Claire. What I do know is that this… we’re over.”
Before she could say another word, he was in his car and pulling away from the curb. She stood and watched him go, tear
s falling down her face. How could she have fucked this up?
Chapter 29
“I’m sorry, Claire, but he’s not here right now.”
Harper’s secretary was lying. Claire knew it and he knew that she knew it. He was due back from his trip yesterday because he and she had a meeting scheduled with Taylor Turner first thing this morning, but there was no doubt that Harper had given her firm instructions on how to handle her calls. Of course, she had taken a short leave of absence while she sorted out what she was going to do. She couldn’t very well work with him under current conditions between them.
“I just need to talk to him. If he will just let me explain….” She knew she sounded desperate and that she had already called too many times, but she couldn’t stop herself.
“I know, but he… listen, he’s not going to talk to you. He’s angry about something and you seem to be the cause of it. I don’t want to know what happened, but I can tell he is still very upset. You’re just going to have to give him some time to come around.”
Claire knew she was probably right, but she was so afraid that he might not ever come back after this.
“Okay. Just let him know that I called and that I really want to talk through this with him.”
They said their goodbyes and she hung up the phone. It would be her last call. There was a point where a girl crossed over from frantic to pathetic and she was way over the line already. She was going to have to let him go and hope she was important enough to him to want answers. If he didn’t, then she had to accept that she hadn’t meant as much to him as she had thought. She wanted to be angry that he didn’t trust her, but who would have in the situation as it had unfolded?
Chapter 30
“Have you talked to him?” Samuel asked her as she stood in somewhat of a daze.
He sat up in the bed to eat the food she had brought him. His condition was deteriorating quickly. She had begun taking him meals in the evenings and staying with him on the days he had chemo. More than a month had passed with no word from Harper and she had resigned herself to the loss, pouring herself into Samuel’s care instead.
“No. It’s over. No use dwelling on it.”
Claire wasn’t happy about it, but she had accepted it and resigned her position, taking an offer from another advertising agency across town. It was a bit more of a hike, but at least there was little chance of running into Harper on the streets.
“I’m sorry, Claire. This is my fault. I hate that I’ve taken this away from you.” Samuel did look sad about what had happened.
“It’s not your fault, Samuel. Don’t worry about it. I guess he wasn’t the one, you know?”
Claire didn’t believe that, not for one minute. Samuel knew it too, but he nodded his agreement and continued eating the food she had brought. He made faces as he drank the Ensure she had started giving him to try to keep some meat on his bones. It was mostly unsuccessful at keeping him from looking skeletal, but at least got more nutrition into his system than he could manage with his reduced appetite.
“I don’t know how much longer I will be here, Claire.”
“I don’t want to hear talk like that, Samuel.”
“You have to. You are the only one I have to make arrangements for me after I am gone. I need to know you will take care of some things for me.”
“Okay, Samuel. I can do that.”
Claire fought back tears, not wanting him to see her cry for him. He looked so worn, so weary. She retrieved a notebook and made a list of the things he told her he needed done, those he hadn’t managed on his own before getting too sick. Afterwards, she lay beside him in the bed and held his hand as they looked up at the ceiling and talked about times when things were better.
“I remember when I was a little boy and my mother used to tell me that I needed to stop eating so much candy. She told her me was going to get fat and ugly and no one would want to play with me, just like the Tankersby kid down the block.”
“That’s awful!”
“Yeah, it kind of was, wasn’t it? But you know, she was so scared that I would just wake up one day and none of my clothes would fit. It was like she thought just one piece of candy more might push me over the top and I’d go from being all knees and elbows to being overweight.”
“Your mother always was a bit of a mess.”
“That is putting it mildly isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
They both laughed for a moment and then he continued, looking somewhere far away, somewhere past the ceiling and into the sky beyond it seemed. His voice was weak as he spoke again, recounting several other tales regarding things he had given up for fear of his health going bad in some way. She began to see where he was going with his seemingly random commentary.
“I gave up a lot of things that brought me joy in order to live longer, to prosper. Even you. I wouldn’t let myself get tied down to you. Cheating was never about someone else or a lack of feelings for you. It was sort of an unconscious effort to maintain my independence, to prevent myself from getting any closer to you. I wanted to marry you, but I wouldn’t let myself.”
“I don’t think any of that matters anymore, Samuel. You can’t fill your last days with regrets.”
“No regrets, just trying to own what I let myself become. At the end of the day, it was all my choice. Don’t make the wrong choices, Claire. You stood by me because I needed you, but you lost someone important to you in the process. I know you love him. I could see it when you looked at him and I can still see the pain being without him brings to you.”
“It isn’t important. That is not a choice I was allowed to make. He made it for me.”
“Don’t let him, Claire. You can change his mind. Go to him. Tell him the truth.”
“No. If he had wanted the truth, he would have stuck around to hear it, Samuel. He bolted at the first sign of trouble. That’s not the kind of man I need in my life.”
“You’ve been in his shoes, Claire. You bolted too.”
Claire stopped staring at the ceiling for a moment and looked at him, a pained expression on her face. Reaching out, she stroked a small section of hair away from his face. He was burning up from the chemo and beads of perspiration dotted his brow.
“That was different. I was right. I caught you in the act.”
“Yes. I’m sorry for that, but you listened to me when I came back to talk to you, after you had cooled down.”
“I did. It made no difference, though, did it?”
“No, but there is an enormous difference between someone apologizing for something unforgivable and someone explaining a situation that was merely misunderstood.”
“I appreciate your opinion, Samuel, but I’m not going to beg him to listen to me. I called for days and he wouldn’t even take my calls. I’m done with that chapter of my life.”
“Okay. Just promise me that you will think about it some more. I don’t want you to be alone when I’m gone. I don’t want you to be unhappy. I don’t want to take that from you…again.”
“I will find happiness one day, Samuel. I do promise.”
“That is all I can ask, I suppose.”
The following day, she made arrangements for a local branch of hospice to come in and begin caring for Samuel, just as he requested. He was getting to the point where he was too weak to get up and around and she wasn’t capable of lifting him on her own. Still, she remained at his side every possible moment of the day as he slowly drifted away.
“This stuff is pretty good,” he mumbled a few days later, borderline delirious from the effects of the morphine he had begun to take in heavier doses.
“Yeah, well, I would caution you to not get addicted to it, but I suppose that would be a moot point.”
“It would be. Isn’t this great? One pleasure I won’t have to give up to maintain my good health.”
A week later, the end had come quickly for Samuel. She had steeled herself for a long, drawn out illness and tried to come to terms with his imminent death
, but she had not expected it to happen so soon. His deteriorated condition had wreaked havoc on his body and his heart had failed while he slept.
Claire had already begun staying at his place at night to care for him after the hospice worker left for the day and woke to find him already gone. She mourned Samuel deeply, for all they had once been and for the loss of the renewed friendship they had enjoyed at the end.
Chapter 31
“How are you doing?”
Claire looked up to see her boss, Hannah Stone, standing in her office doorway. It was her first day back at work since the funeral and she had come in early, hoping to avoid the sympathetic coworkers as much as possible.
“I’m good. I’ve still got some things to take care of, but I’m okay.”
Samuel had no family so he had left everything he had to her. She hadn’t known or expected it. He had merely told her that after he was gone, she would need to go by the attorney’s office and pick up some things there that would need to be finalized. Though he wasn’t rich, he had been comfortable and now, she would be, too. There was one last thing she needed to do and that would be it.
“I’m glad to hear it. Listen, I talked to Taylor Turner while you were out and he was very complimentary about the campaign you worked on at your old agency. He said it was exactly what he had needed to push his sales to the next level. I want to commend you on doing such excellent work. It’s not very often we get calls about work an employee did before she came to us.”
Hannah beamed at her. It was obvious that she was pleased, but Claire’s heart was racing at the mention of the campaign she had worked on with Harper for Taylor Turner.
“I can’t really take all the credit for that. Harper was more the brainchild of it than I was. I just created the graphics.”
Claire found it curious that he had called the office, but he was a bit of an odd sort. Still, how had he known where to contact her? Had Harper told him she had left? She found herself pondering all sorts of questions about how that conversation had transpired and what had been said.
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