She had to wonder, too, how Harper had known where to find her. Obviously, he would have been the one who told Taylor where she had gone. Had he checked up on her or was it as simple as someone having called him for a reference?
“Regardless, I have seen the graphics and they are quite brilliant. It’s hard to capture something so mundane in an exciting way, but you seem to have done just that.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“Anyway, come by my office when you get a moment. I want to go over other accounts I’d like to shift from Wanneman to you. He’s just not hitting them out of the ballpark like he used to, and it might be time to put some fresh eyes on some of his work.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be there in just a few minutes after I make a quick phone call.”
Hannah nodded and left the doorway. A few moments later, the line was ringing on the other end. The call could have waited, but she just needed a moment to decompress.
“Hello?” It was Monica, a friend she had made at the local library where she sometimes went to just enjoy the peace and quiet away from the noise of the city. She sounded like a little girl on the phone, despite her almost twenty-five years on the planet.
“Monica, it’s Claire. Are you available for dinner tonight?”
Claire tried not to sound as needy as she felt. She had been so busy taking care of Samuel in the past weeks that she had not had time to talk to anyone about what had happened with Harper or anything past that. Though she had come to the funeral, it hadn’t seemed like the right time for a discussion. A healthy meal and a few glasses of wine should go a long way toward unwinding the huge ball of tension she had become.
“Sure, love. What did you have in mind?” Monica never liked to make choices on dinner. Claire had learned early on after meeting her to just dictate plans if she was up for going out.
“I was thinking that I’d take you out someplace nice for a change, perhaps that five-star French restaurant that just opened up near my apartment. You are my best girl, after all.” She was already feeling a little lighter hearted at the prospect of just having a fun girls’ night out.
“I hope that means you are buying.”
Monica was on a strict budget and expensive restaurants were not on her menu. She was always very careful not to invite her to places she knew she couldn’t afford unless she planned on picking up the tab. There had been times she hadn’t been able to do so and they’d just picked someplace a bit less expensive, but with some money under her belt from having worked a while and the nestegg Samuel had left her with, she didn’t mind splurging for her at all.
“Absolutely, but you’re going to have to put out.” She felt a smile creep across her face for the first time in a while as she teased her playfully.
“Okay, I’ll make sure I wash the hoohoo and put on a fresh pair of granny panties just for you, baby cakes.”
The two of them laughed in unison and agreed to meet there at seven before ending the call. Claire stood and smoothed her skirt, taking a deep breath before she walked down to Hannah’s office to discuss new accounts. The rest of the day seemed to go on forever as she watched the clock click slowly toward quitting time.
Chapter 32
“I was shocked when Samuel came to me and told me he was ill. He had no one, Monica. I couldn’t say no, but then Harper misunderstood the whole situation and bolted. I realize it was partly my fault, but I was devastated. Still, I had to just suck it up. Samuel was getting worse and needed me.” She felt a bit like she was babbling as they sat sipping wine and waiting for appetizers.
“I didn’t know what had happened to you. No one heard from you for weeks. Next thing I knew, someone said that your ex was ill and you were taking care of him. We were all stunned. It seemed like I had just heard that when we were told he had passed. I know I wasn’t his biggest fan after what you told me he did to you, but no one deserves to die so young.”
Monica’s eyes fell on the table for a moment as she seemed to consider how delicate the lifeline we tow here on Earth really was. Claire had found it was common with anyone who knew about Samuel. People expect things like this at a later age, but not when someone is young and vital.
“Yes. I saw a different side of him during his final weeks. He fought, but ultimately, he just gave in to the defeat. It was peaceful at the end, and I’m glad he’s not in pain anymore.”
Claire still felt deeply saddened to know that Samuel was gone forever. She didn’t think there would ever be a day again that she didn’t remember him fondly, rather than the animosity that once came to mind at a mention of his name or fleeting memory of what they once were.
“And what about Harper? Now, will you try to tell him what happened?” Monica was watching her closely as she asked the question.
“No. It’s done with Harper. If he was so quick to think I would do something like that to him, then I don’t see what hope there can be for us to have a solid relationship.”
It was a sad truth that she had been forced to accept. Even Samuel’s parting words couldn’t change that.
“Well, let’s change the subject and talk about something more uplifting…like me!”
Monica began to tell her all about what had been going on in her life. She listened, completely enraptured by how free-spirited Monica was. Claire was quickly lost in her words as she went on about her usual antics. Their meal came and went as they finished off their bottle of wine and teetered home to their respective apartments, which were about the same distance from the restaurant but in separate directions.
Chapter 33
“I guess you’re alone again, girlfriend.”
Claire spoke the words aloud as she climbed the last landing to her apartment and the melancholy clouded in around her. Only minutes ago, she had been carefree, going on with Monica about all the girl talk in the world. Now, it was if a gray cloud had quietly moved in over her on the walk home and begun to shower discontent down upon her shoulders. Fishing in her purse for her keys, she was caught off-guard by the response that came from just outside her door.
“You don’t have to be.”
Claire’s head jerked up to find herself looking into the eyes of Harper, leaning against her door frame. How long had he been there waiting for her, she wondered? He looked just as handsome as ever, his bright blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight as he smiled uncertainly. She wanted to either slap or kiss him, but she was having trouble deciding which one. Instead, she heard herself begin to speak, though it felt like someone else talking.
“Harper…” No more words came to her other than just the acknowledgement that he was there.
“Yes. I realize that my visit is unexpected, but I was afraid that if I called, you wouldn’t see me after I’ve been such an ass to you for so long.”
It took a moment for her to absorb the words in her confused, somewhat drunken state. It seemed surreal to see him standing there. She was more than a little tipsy, but no way had she drank enough to be hallucinating. Still, she reached out and pushed at his chest with a single finger like a small child testing to see if something was make believe. “You’re real.”
Claire had hoped many times during the weeks that had passed that he would come around and tell her that everything would be okay, but when it hadn’t happened for so long, she had accepted it.
Even though she had not had any time to date anyone else, in her mind, it was over. Her heart? Well, it wasn’t yet healed enough to make a reasonable decision on its own. Then again, her mind wasn’t in a much better state.
“You were expecting a hologram?”
His voice sounded a little nervous, even though he was flashing his usual dazzling smile as he spoke the words. It seemed to steel her backbone as she remembered how he had abandoned her without even letting her explain what had happened. He had left her when she could have really used someone to lean on.
“I was expecting the same thing I have seen for weeks when entering my apartment. Nothing. Why did you
come back?”
Once again, she knew her words were cold, but that was how she felt at the moment. All the love she had begun to feel for him was still there, but it was buried somewhere behind an avalanche of blinding pain just waiting to come unraveled and kill anything in its path.
“I came back to tell you that I was wrong. I should have listened to you. Instead, I ran off like an injured animal to lick my wounds.”
He looked at her intently as he spoke, as if trying to absorb what she might be thinking. How that was possible, she wasn’t sure as she wasn’t sure what her thoughts were herself, but she felt the ice shift just a little.
“Look. I don’t know why you are here, but you can’t just show up and expect me to forget that you abandoned me when I needed you most. You should have trusted me.”
All the anger came flooding back. The weeks of frustration and abandonment rearing their ugly head. There was still an urge somewhere within her that wanted to say nothing, just to run to him and kiss him madly. Her pain wouldn’t let it be. Nothing she had done was wrong and if he had given her five minutes of his precious time, he would have known that. It had been way too easy for him to believe the worst.
“I’m sorry, Claire. I have no excuses for how I behaved—” His words were interrupted by a young couple topped the landing and looked at them curiously before walking up the next flight. “Look, can we just go inside and talk for a bit? If you don’t like what I have to say, I will leave and not bother you again.”
“That sounds like something you are good at,” she murmured bitterly, but she put the key in the lock and waved her arm for him to step inside. He was quite literally a total buzz kill, as she suddenly felt completely sober again.
“I heard that.” His tone was light, but had undertones of seriousness.
“I intended for you to,” she responded with snark as she pushed the door closed behind them and stood their glaring at his still turned back.
“Oh, boy, this is going to be fun.” He turned to face her. No doubt he could see that she was now red in the face with anger. Claire could see it in the wall mirror to one side of the door.
“I didn’t ask you to come here, Harper. If this isn’t your idea of “fun” then you can just get right back on whatever horse you came in on and ride back to your house.” She was suddenly feeling very antagonistic. She knew it was the hurt feelings talking, but she just couldn’t stop herself. It was if he had opened a can of venom that was just spewing out in pressurized blasts.
“Whoa, now. Slow your roll, Claire. I didn’t come here to fight with you. Can’t we just sit down and talk?” He was trying, but she didn’t feel reconciliatory at the moment.
“Fine.” She sat down in the chair by the sofa and waited for him to take a seat.
“Claire, I’ve been miserable without you. All I’ve been able to think about is being with you and how much I missed you.” He paused for a moment, seeming to gauge her reaction, but she was playing her feelings very close to the vest. “I want to try to fix this, make it up to you.”
“Oh, so you’re suddenly willing to just completely forget that you arrived here to find a man in my bed. It no longer matters that I cheated on you?” It wasn’t true, of course, but she wanted to push his buttons. She could feel mounds of sarcasm just welling up in her chest, waiting to be unleashed at the slightest provocation.
“You didn’t cheat. You were helping a friend, just as you said. I know that now,” he said.
“I see. So, then you’ve found out the truth about why Samuel was here. Who told you?”
Claire felt even less inclined to excuse his previous behavior now that she knew the only reason he was suddenly so forgiving is that he had somehow learned why the man in her bed had probably been here. Obviously, he hadn’t trusted her even in the slightest, but someone else telling him what was going on made all the difference in the world.
“Taylor told me. He had called the office to thank us for our work on his ad campaign and wanted to thank you personally. When I told him you had accepted a position elsewhere, he had insisted on contacting you there. I gave him the name of the new agency. He told me in a later conversation that your boss had told him that you were out of the office to attend the funeral of your friend Samuel and that you had been taking care of him for some time. I put two and two together.” He looked down at his feet for a moment. It was obvious that he felt sorry for how he had acted, but was that enough?
“Well, that is just great, Harper. So, you came here to be absolved from behaving badly and not being there when I needed you? Fine. I forgive you. Now you can go.” You would think that the heated anger she felt inside would thaw the ice, but it seemed to only harden it against intrusion.
“Claire, that is not fair. Put yourself in my shoes. How would you have reacted if you had walked in to find a woman in my bed unexpectedly? It’s not like you told me about it. You deliberately kept it from me for some reason. Why? I could only assume the worst.”
His intense expression began to dispel her anger. It was quickly replaced with guilt for bringing all of this on herself.
“Perhaps, but I would have at least given you an opportunity to explain. Even if I had stormed out, I would have come around to talk to you. How can you say you love someone if you aren’t willing to fight for them?” The words felt sad, even as she said them. How easy love was to just cast aside in favor of pain.
“It took me a while, Claire. I’m sorry it took so long. I’ve been down this road before. I forgave and forgot. I accepted the excuses and the lies. It tore me apart. When I walked in and found him here, I just couldn’t stand the thought of being in that place again. Everyone tried to tell me that I needed to talk to you about it, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hear what you might have to say.” His gaze was firmly fixed on his hands as he spoke.
“So, that is why you have been alone all this time. Someone hurt you and now everyone has the potential to be her? I didn’t get a chance to explain myself because a woman in your past scarred you so badly that you feared an old wound opening and not being able to close it again? You really don’t give us women much credit, do you?”
Her anger was rising again. Everything he was saying to try to fix this was only making matters worse. She was beginning to wish he hadn’t come here and opened her barely healed wounds.
“I’m sorry.”
They were the final words of a broken man. A man who had said everything he knew how to say to resurrect the dead and resigned himself to failure and loss. She felt the same. Her anger was rapidly being replaced by numbness so profound that she didn’t anticipate any true feelings for some time to come.
“Me, too.” It was all she could say as they sat there looking awkwardly at the floor between our respective feet, not making eye contact under any circumstances. Finally, Harper spoke again.
“For what it is worth, I am truly sorry about your friend. He was lucky to have someone so wonderful to care for him in his last days. You have no idea how badly I felt about how I reacted or the fact that I hit him.” He finally looked up at her and she returned his gaze. Though she had tried to hold them back, there were tears in her eyes.
“Thank you.”
Claire willed the tears to stop, but they ignored her, trickling down her face in an ever-increasing stream. It was the first time she had cried since Samuel had passed. There had been so much to do, so much to take care of… then there was work. Now, with this episode with Harper, it was all coming to the front full force ahead and there was no stopping it. she broke down in heavy sobbing.
“Come here.” Harper sat her down on the sofa and got down on his knees in front of her, holding her close to his chest. “Just let it all out, Claire. I know it must have been so hard for you to let him go. You must have been close.”
The words cut through the tears as she realized that Harper hadn’t been completely wrong. she had lied to him, in a sense. It was a lie of omission. She had not told him about Samuel no
r had she told him who Samuel was to her. She tried to calm herself as she pulled away and looked at him.
“Harper, Samuel was not just my ex-boyfriend. We used to be engaged. We split up because he cheated on me and I couldn’t forgive him. When he came to me for help, I couldn’t let the past be an excuse not to help him. He had no family and he needed me. I couldn’t say no to that. It was never anything but platonic, but I just didn’t want you to get the wrong idea so I decided not to tell you unless I had to. I brought this all on myself.” For the second time that evening, she felt like she was babbling as she spat it all out between sobs.
“It’s okay. We both made a mistake. Can’t we just forgive one another for being a little less than perfect, Claire? It’s probably not the last misunderstanding or argument we will ever have. We have to be able to get through these things if we’re meant to last.” He wiped her tears away with his hand as he spoke.
“We made a mess of it, didn’t we?”
A weak smile crossed her face as the avalanche came raging down, clearing a path to her heart but balling up in her stomach in case it needed to catapult upwards to resume its position. Forgiveness was a challenging thing, but she had to realize that it was a two-way street and she was just as culpable in this as he.
“Yes, we did. The good news is that we’re here together now. We can chalk it up to mistakes and promise to always be honest with one another in the future. Can we do that, Claire?” His timid smile matched her own.
“Yes, I think we can.”
Further comment, if there had been any to offer, was cut off by his kiss. It was if the pilot light on her libido had died out, only to be sparked again by his overwhelming presence. Claire wanted him in the worst way. They could sort all of this out later. Right now, all she wanted was to feel him inside of her, pushing her to her limits and sending her careening off a precipice of ecstasy like only he seemed to be able to do.
“I love you, Claire.” His face was still very close to hers as he whispered the words, letting them vibrate across her lips and sending warmth throughout her entire body. she felt alive again.
The Dragon's Gold Page 9