Murder! Hollywood Style

by Carol Branston

  “Right avay, my lovely von.”

  Zaria kissed Karen as she passed and felt her breasts. She let her hands slip down to her hips. Karen pushed her away laughing.

  “Not now, my love. Just don’t make any plans for the weekend. I have something in mind that I think might interest you.”

  “You interest me, you vicked voman. But I vill not vate until zee veekend. I have zees ideas off my own for you, later.”

  Zaria, wrapped only in a silk sheet, growled as she made her exit.

  “She’s really something isn’t she?”

  “Crazed but amusing and a fabulous fuck.”

  Val felt herself blush.

  “You really are unique Ms. Rhodes. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone blush for years.”

  “I feel so stupid. I find it hard to think of you with a girl. You are so beautiful and men find you attractive. Have you always, you know, liked women?”

  “No. Just right now it’s what I prefer. It’s hard to explain. I was in love with a man as you know, and we were engaged. That didn’t work out. I had a few affairs after that. That’s when I had my abortion. That’s not the reason I went with a woman though. Ever since I was a kid I’ve been curious about everything and never had many inhibitions. When I was vacationing in Cannes one year, this divine French woman took me back to her villa. I just went along with her seduction. It was great. She was lovely. We had a marvelous time and we’re still the best of friends. She opened up a whole other world to me. So that’s it in a nutshell. I don’t think it’s right for everyone. Gay, straight, it doesn’t matter. The problems people have are no different. They fool themselves thinking they are. Anyway, right now it’s right for me. Now, will you please go and take a shower? Nicky will be here before you know it.”

  Val went into the bathroom trying to make sense of things. She closed the door, ran the water, and let her clothes drop anywhere. She stepped into the enormous, steamy, hot enclosure. Water jets hit her body from every direction. She stood there with her eyes closed, praying. She prayed that all the bad karma surrounding her would be washed away. She opened her eyes and watched the soap bubbles go down the drain.

  “Yes. Dear God. Just like that. Please.”

  CHAPTER 8

  Land and Deliver

  Val found a note from Karen saying they had gone on their shopping spree. She had a few hours to herself and loved the idea of having some rare alone time. After drying her hair, she put a few Carmen rollers in the right places, then looked through the things in her closet. She wanted to look special, but not too planned. She wanted to wear something soft, yet felt funny about looking too feminine. She didn’t want that to be an issue.

  That’s a new one. I’ve never been worried about looking too feminine before. I mustn’t think like that. He loves me, for me. Damn. How stupid can I get?

  She looked at her clothes and wished she looked like Karen in pants.

  The velvet pants are good. But I have nothing to go with them. Valerie Rhodes, relax. Shoes, no boots. Okay that’s a start. The maxi skirt would work with the purple turtleneck and the vest with the fringe.

  She put it all on, hated it, and tore it off. She tried the velvet pants with the purple sweater.

  Okay, that’s not bad. Understated yet good colors for me. Now the lousy boots don’t go. Damn. I have to wear them. It’s all a mess. I’m a mess. Maybe some makeup will help.

  She went to Karen’s dressing room. The lines of shoes and clothes looked like a department store and she was envious for a moment. She sat down at the dressing table, faced herself in the mirror, and started to paint her face.

  They say, the first sign of going crazy is when you talk to yourself and then answer. So Valerie Rhodes, let me be the first to greet you with the news. You are now going mad.

  She started to carry on a conversation with herself.

  “That wasn’t hard was it?”

  “No, I suppose not. I don’t feel that different.”

  “You don’t look it either.”

  “This is fun. Crazy or not, I’m having fun!”

  “Convince me.”

  “You know, you are easy to talk to. Why haven’t we spoken before?”

  “That’s your fault.”

  “Now look, let’s not have a blame game on our first visit.”

  “You’re right. Sorry about that.”

  “Okay, now the artiste has to get to work. A little powder and paint makes a girl what she ain’t.”

  “You know you’re quite pretty. In fact not just pretty; that’s too ordinaire a word. You are extremely attractive. Yes that’s it. Look at how many of the people you’ve met find you attractive. I bet you could have anyone you wanted. Out of all of them, who turns you on?”

  “If I tell you will you promise not to breathe a word?”

  “Okay, I promise.”

  “Out of all the people I’ve met, the only one I find exciting in a sexual way is Karen.”

  “Valerie Rhodes, you don’t mean it!”

  “Isn’t that wild? Shit!”

  She had poked mascara in her eye. She grabbed a Kleenex and noticed the time. It was broken down into digital seconds on Karen’s new-fangled clock.

  “Well, it won’t be long now.”

  She took out her rollers and brushed her hair. They both had to admit the reflection in the mirror wasn’t half bad, considering…

  “I need a drink. No, one of those little yellow jobbies really sounds good.”

  She went into Karen’s bathroom and looked in the medicine chest. They weren’t there. She went to the living room. It was still a mess from the night before. It hadn’t occurred to any of them to clean, they were so used to the magic of maids. She did pick up a few glasses, then poured herself a brandy. She hated the taste of booze, but loved the warm feeling brandy gave her. Music, maybe she needed music. No, she couldn’t go through choosing a record, and the tapes were heavy dance music. She tried the TV, switching from channel to channel until she found an old movie starring her favorite actress, Carole Lombard, in some wonderful farce.

  “Now look at her: not really beautiful when you take her apart feature by feature. But all together? The living end.”

  As far as Val was concerned, Lombard had it all. She could have you in tears in one role, then be fabulous in a comedy with her expert timing in the next. Val would love to have the chance to show her range as an actress like that. She was totally engrossed in the movie when Karen and Zaria barged in weighted down with packages.

  “You are a dream, my love. You must live in purple. It’s your color. Zee, dump all that in the bedroom. Val, you must come and see what we bought you.”

  “Me? You bought me something?”

  “I think it’s fabulous. Come on, switch that thing off.”

  Val left her movie and solitude and followed Karen into the bedroom.

  “Can I have one of those yellow jobbies? I’m still a bit of a wreck.”

  “Florence has something better for you. You want to be up and jolly don’t you?”

  Karen didn’t wait for an answer. She brought out the coke.

  “Now this, my love will put you on the right level.”

  “I’ve never done it before, do you think I should?”

  “I wouldn’t steer you wrong, precious. Follow me and the super Ms. Zee.”

  They each sniffed two lines of coke.

  “What am I supposed to feel like?”

  “Like you rule the world, with enough energy left over to rule the rest of the planets out there.”

  “Uck, I just swallowed it. It tastes horrible.”

  Karen and Zaria got a kick out of that.

  Zaria informed her, dramatically. “You vill learn to love zis taste.”

  Val touched her two front teeth. “Do your front teeth feel numb like when you’re at the dentist? Really, they feel numb.”

  “You’re getting there. Relax. It’s time to see our purchases of the day.”

  A mountain
of Pucci underwear appeared on the bed.

  “The salesladies in the stores thought we were quite mad when I insisted on buying every pair of size four Pucci panties.”

  Karen was on a high, talking a mile a minute.

  “Now for you, my dear, a special little something. A must-have for every young girl about to face her first winter in New York City.”

  Out of a profusion of purple tissue paper filling a box with Bergdorf Goodman written all over it, a little fur jacket appeared. It was black mink designed to look like a bomber jacket, with a zipper up the front and two slanted zip pockets at the side. Val was overwhelmed. Her voice was so quiet, they could hardly hear her.

  “You’re not serious. I can’t accept something like this. Karen, it’s totally outrageous!”

  “That is the perfect description! It is outrageous and so are you and so am I and so is Zee. Put it on immediately. I hope it fits. It looked small enough. The saleslady knew you from TV and said you would look fantastic in it.”

  “You told the people in the shop it was for me?”

  “Why not? They knew it wasn’t for either of us, and the lady in the fur department at Bergdorf has known me for years. She was thrilled it was for you.”

  Val put it on. It fit as though it had been made for her. She ran to the full-length mirror and modeled it.

  “Oh, it’s so gorgeous. I’m lost for words. All I can say is thank you. I can’t think of anything original. Thank you. Thank you.”

  She ran over to Karen and kissed her. Karen did her impression of Groucho Marx.

  “Well if a little mink jacket gets a kiss, what will a full-length coat get?”

  “I don’t want to take it off.”

  “Then don’t. I’ll turn down the heat, and we’ll all put on furs!”

  “Oh, Karen you really are fabulous.”

  Their moment was interrupted by the door buzzer. They all stopped in their tracks.

  Val whispered. “Oh my God, Nicky’s here!”

  For some reason this struck them all as funny. Laughing madly and trying to be quiet wasn’t easy. They had to decide who was going to open the door. All fingers pointed to Karen. The buzzer went again. Zaria disappeared into the bedroom, Val ran into the her room, and Karen walked to the door vowing never to be without a maid, ever again. Val looked in the mirror, quickly put a brush through her hair, and glanced at herself in the jacket. She took it off, looked again, then said “fuck it” and put it back on. She walked out into the hall, and there he was. Her legs felt like jelly. Karen stood behind him smiling. Val couldn’t move.

  “Val. Baby.”

  Nicky’s voice sounded serious. He came to her, took her in his arms, and held her close. They stood there like that. In silence. Holding each other. It felt so good. She had to look up to see his face and when she did, they kissed. Then they really kissed.

  Perfect. It was all just perfect.

  Funny thing was, all three people standing in Karen’s foyer thought the scene being played out before them was perfect. Each for their own reason.

  Karen was on a high.

  He’s here. That’s good. He did just as I told him. That’s very good. He’s scared. That’s even better.

  Val was in her own world.

  He’s here! That’s good. I feel safe in his arms. That’s wonderful. Nothing else matters. That’s the truth!

  Nicky’s head was working overtime.

  I’m here. That’s good. I’ll make it look good in front of that cunt. No problem. This one’s for me. No shit! Sorry, Val. That’s the breaks.

  CHAPTER 9

  Facing It

  Karen’s voice brought them back to earth.

  “I’m sure you two lovebirds want to be alone. So if you’ll excuse me…”

  Nicky put his arm around Val and they walked into the living room. Val panicked. She hated the sudden silence that filled the apartment and started talking a hundred words a minute.

  “It looks like a bomb hit this place. Karen gave the maid a couple of days off, and we just didn’t get around to cleaning.”

  “Hey Val, let’s just sit for a minute.”

  “You still have your overcoat on, do you want to take it off?

  “I’m not sure. You have your coat on.”

  “So I do. Yes, it’s new. In fact I just got it today.”

  “It’s beautiful. Must have cost some heavy bread.”

  “Yes it did, but I sort of needed a lift.”

  She was embarrassed to tell him Karen had bought it for her.

  “I hope I can afford you, baby.”

  “I really don’t make a habit of things like this.”

  “Relax, that was a joke. Come here.”

  She went to him, and he held her face and looked down into her big blue eyes.

  “I’m sorry about what you heard, and the way you heard it. It’s my fault, I should have told you. Truth is, I can’t change my past or make any excuses. I just want you to know I’m here because I want to be. Let’s try to put the past where it should be. In the past. Okay?”

  “That’s what I want Nicky. I can’t begin to tell you what this whole mess did to me. I’ve been so scared. I didn’t know how it would be when we saw each other. Now you’re here, and I don’t want you to ever leave me again. I wish…oh Nicky, you…”

  “No, we’re not going there tonight. This is our night. What are we going to do with it?

  “This will really thrill you. When I told my mother you were coming she sort of insisted we go to the new flat.”

  “That’s not such a bad idea. I don’t want to stay here.”

  “You know what’s funny? I haven’t even seen the flat myself.”

  Val calmed down.

  “I’ll call Mummy now and tell her we’re coming.”

  She was starting to feel happy for the first time in what seemed like ages.

  “Hello, Mummy its Valerie. Yes, he just arrived. If it’s still all right, we’re planning to come over.”

  She couldn’t get used to the idea that she was going to her new home.

  “Yes, we’ll be leaving here shortly. Of course I know where you are.”

  She lied, hoping to God she would be able to find the damn paper she’d scribbled the new address on.

  “Hang on a minute.” She made a face as she put her hand over the mouthpiece. “She wants to say hello.”

  Nicky laughed and took the phone. “Hello, how are you? Yea, it’s great to finally be here. Listen we’ll be over soon. Save all the dirt for me, okay? You’re on.”

  He hung up the phone. “Are you taking anything with you?”

  “I didn’t think of that. I can’t get into packing right now. Karen won’t mind if I leave my things for a couple of days.”

  “Okay, then let’s go. I’m warm standing around here like this.”

  “Let me just get my handbag.”

  Val knocked on Karen’s bedroom door. A voice said, “come in.” The two of them were stretched out on the bed watching TV, looking very stoned.

  “Come and join us, precious.”

  Val felt herself blush again.

  “We’re leaving! Off to Mother’s.”

  “That’s a thrill.”

  Val had to smile.

  “Don’t be mean Karen. If it’s all right, I’d like to leave my things here for a couple of days.”

  “Of course, my love. You always have a place here. Leave your things forever.”

  “Thanks for everything. You’re really a wonderful friend.”

  “Always. How’s the romance going?”

  “It’s all right. It’s really all right. Nicky is just as I thought he would be. He’s the same person I fell in love with. Nothing is any different.”

  “Run along then. Don’t keep lover boy waiting.”

  Val picked up her bag and waved at the two of them. They both blew kisses.

  “Val wait! Florence has a treat for you. Come here.”

  Val walked back to the bed.
>
  “Here, sweetie. Take a few of these greenies and yellows. They’ll hold you over for a while.”

  Val was thrilled. She hadn’t wanted to ask for them. She carefully put them into her bag. One yellow and she wouldn’t give a damn what her mother said.

  “Thanks again.”

  She leaned over to kiss Karen on the cheek but Karen surprised her by turning her head and kissing her full on the mouth.

  “You’re welcome, precious. Come back soon and check in with me constantly.” This was given as an order.

  “I will, I promise.”

  Val, more than a little flustered by the kiss, couldn’t wait to leave. She found Nicky biting his nails, looking like he was a million miles away. He caught himself and gave her a smile.

  “All set?”

  She nodded.

  “Okay, andiamo.”

  CHAPTER 10

  Going Home

  The elevator man surprised Val by knowing her name.

  “Good evening, Miss Rhodes.”

  “Good evening.”

  “Saw you on TV last night. You were great.”

  She blushed. Being recognized still felt strange. Nicky was getting a big kick out of it. Next they were greeted by the doorman.

  “Cab, Miss Rhodes?”

  “Yes please.”

  “Good show last night, Miss.”

  “Thank you.”

  She turned to Nicky smiling.

  “It’s crazy. I’m not used to this.”

  “Well get used to it, baby. This is only the beginning.”

  She rummaged through her bag looking madly for the address and found it just as the cab pulled up. Nicky tipped the doorman.

  “Thank you, Mr. Venuti.”

  Nicky liked that!

  “Shall I go through the park?”

  “Oh, yes please. Look, Nicky, the whole city is lit up and shining just for us. It’s so beautiful.”

  The driver butted in.

  “You can have it. I wouldn’t give you two cents for it.”

  They looked at each other trying not to laugh.

  “Forty years I bin driving a cab and I’m here to tell you, it stinks. Garbage. Nothing but drunks, junkies, and garbage.”