Touch Slowly (Red Light: Silver Girls series)

by Kayn, Debra

  She sat up. There was no way she could talk to Emmett laying down. She had to stay on track, tell him no, and set things right before her life spiraled out of control. She could do that better in an upright position.

  "Nova-girl?" whispered Emmett.

  She inhaled deeply. "I'm still here."

  "Are you going to answer my question?"

  She nodded, realizing too late that he couldn't see her. "I appreciate your interest in getting to know me better, but I don't have any time in my life right now to get involved with you. With traveling and the odd hours I'm needed to work, I must keep myself available to the customers and artists that work through...my boss's gallery. It wouldn't be fair to you when I’m focused on my professional life at the moment, and not on my private life. That's the reason I think you need to stop pushing me. You're a good guy and well, you're nice, and it's only fair that you know where I stand."

  "Good and nice in the same sentence?" Emmett exhaled harshly. "No woman has said that about me before."

  "Well, I imagine women don't say no to you very often either," she said.

  "Thank fuck for that." He paused. "What's that music coming through the phone."

  She gazed around the room. The music from downstairs no longer bothered her. She tuned out the noise or she was gone during the hours Silver Girls was open.

  "It's, uh, the people who stay in the room next door." She bit her lip waiting for him to believe her lie. When he remained quiet, she added, "I told you they were loud."

  "Yeah, I remember."

  "Anyway..." She held the blanket to her waist. "Now that you understand where I stand, I'll let you go."

  "Wait."

  "Why?"

  "I called you first, remember?" said Emmett.

  "Right," she whispered. "What did you want?"

  "I wanted to know if you were coming to Nick and Shayla's tonight, but seeing as how it's late and you're not here, I'm now wondering if you'll come tomorrow night."

  Her shoulders drooped, and she pressed the phone to her ear. "Emmett, I explained to you why we can't—"

  "You're going to stay away from your cousins because of me?"

  "No."

  He cleared his throat. "Then you'll come tomorrow night?"

  "Maybe."

  "I'll take a maybe." His voice deepened. "See you then."

  "Wait." She closed her eyes. "You didn't listen to a thing I said, did you?"

  He paused. "I've noticed you lie a lot, Nova-girl. But when I kiss you, you're telling me the truth. You want me. I plan to have you. I don't give a shit about your schedule or how unfair you think you're being. I only know you have three months—"

  "Two months, two days," she said.

  "I want to spend part of that time around you."

  "Why?" Her irritated voice sounded snappy to her ears.

  "I don't know yet. When I do, I'll let you know." He cleared his throat. "Sleep tight, Nova-girl, and I'll see you tomorrow night."

  The phone call disconnected. She laid her cell on the nightstand and scooted lower in the bed, and laid down. Her heart beat erratically, and she rolled onto her side, holding her arms tight against her chest.

  Her plan to get his attention off her backfired. He was more determined to spend time with her, which would end up with her kissing him because she obviously had zero control around him.

  She closed her eyes and willed her chest to stop fluttering in excitement for tomorrow night. His lack of listening to her and refusal to do what she needed only made her anticipate seeing him more. He was making her crazy.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Shayla and Nova swayed to the sound of Foreigner on the bed of Nick's pickup and belted out the lyrics of Juke Box Hero. Emmett stood between Nick and Kirkland, enjoying the unrehearsed concert. Neither woman could sing worth shit, but the effort they put in to entertain everyone gathered on the lot was worth staying up late.

  Kirkland held up his phone. Emmett glanced over at him and shook his head. It never took long until someone got the bright idea to pull out their cell and capture an embarrassing moment to post on YouTube.

  "If you piss her off, you'll never have a chance with her." Emmett shoved him. "Let Shayla have her fun while her cousin is here."

  Kirkland stumbled and righted himself. "I'm going to wear her down. She'll figure out she's in love with me by the end of summer."

  The singing stopped. Emmett gazed up at the pickup and barely had time to get out of the way of Shayla jumping to the ground and landing in front of him. He grabbed her arm, steadying her, and she ripped out of his hold and dove for Kirkland's phone.

  "Hey." Kirkland reached out for Shayla and missed catching her.

  "Nova, catch!" Shayla tossed the phone to her cousin.

  Nova caught the cell and concentrated on the device while sliding her finger over the screen. Emmett's chest tightened in concern. Nova's normally relaxed posture had gone stick straight. Intent on whatever was on the phone, she wasn't aware of Kirkland approaching the open tailgate.

  He strode forward and cut off Kirkland. "Leave her alone."

  "Interested in her, are you, Parker?" Kirkland planted his feet and grinned.

  Emmett never budged. He'd never had to punch Kirkland for getting out of control before, but there was a first time for everything. Brad, Jason, and even Nick had all met his fist at one time or another, but Kirkland usually kept his smarts and never started trouble.

  "Here. You can have it back now," said Nova behind Emmett. "I only deleted the video and the picture you took tonight. It's rude, and I'd hate to think you'd share them with your friends on Facebook."

  "I don't use Facebook." Kirkland's chest deflated, and he held out his hand.

  Nova handed over the phone and jumped down on the ground beside Emmett. "Thanks for a fun night, guys."

  She walked around Emmett and joined Shayla by the fire. Her laughter floated in the air.

  He watched every smile that landed on her face.

  Caren hip bumped Nova and spoke quietly. Nova's eyes rounded, and she shook her head.

  And, Emmett watched.

  Shayla left Nova's side to follow Kirkland into the shadows. Nova now alone picked up a piece of wood and tossed it into the fire, brushing her hands on her ass.

  He watched her look up at Nick and tilt her head. When she turned in his direction, her gaze met his. The ball of energy in his chest burst.

  Without thinking about what he was doing, he stalked over to her, grabbed her hand, and led her over to his trailer. Once he had her near the door, he pressed her up against the siding. He planted his hands on his house, trapping her.

  Nova stared up into his eyes, breathing hard. "What are you doing?"

  "I need to get to bed. Six o'clock comes early." He leaned in closer. "Before I go inside, I wanted to kiss you."

  "I've asked you to stop kissing me every time I come over to see my cousins." She inhaled swiftly. "Please."

  He bent his knees and hovered over her mouth. "Please kiss you?"

  "Emmett," she whispered, sagging against the house.

  "You're a contradiction, Nova-girl." He tilted his head. "You tell me you don't want this, and your body says you do. You say things I don't believe and then look at me with those sexy eyes begging me to figure you out. I'm trying. Every fucking minute, I'm trying to understand what you want. I want to know what you're not telling me."

  She closed her eyes an extra beat, and when she gazed up at him again, he groaned at the powerful punch to his gut that took his breath away. He'd swear on his life; she dared him to do what he wanted. What she wanted him to do. What they both needed.

  "Fuck it," he muttered, taking her upturned lips.

  Her arms snaked around his neck, lifting her higher, and validated his decision not to listen to her words.

  Nova pressed her breasts against his chest and her pelvis against his cock. Her inner thigh slightly squeezed his outer leg. His dick shoved its way between them, impatient and
demanding attention. He stroked her tongue in equal urgency, sliding his hand down her side and palming her ass.

  She arched against him, burying her hand in the back of his hair. A possessive need came over him, and he lifted her off the ground and blindly took a step toward the door.

  He wanted her inside, away from the others, flat on her back, and her legs around him.

  "Emmett," shouted Shayla.

  A pull tore his hand off Nova's ass, and her body slid down the length of his body, breaking the kiss. He stared down into Nova's shocked face.

  "Nova needs to get back to town." Shayla thrust her arm between Emmett and Nova and pulled her cousin away from him.

  He stepped forward, confused over the abruptness. Nova had the power to stop Shayla and stay. All she had to do was open her mouth and admit she willingly wanted him.

  Nova touched her lips and her brows lowered. He waited, still tasting her sweetness on his tongue.

  "I need to go," she mouthed.

  "Thirty seconds ago, you were going to stay."

  She shook her head. "You don't listen."

  "No." The tension returned to his shoulders. "Because you're not telling me the truth."

  Nova turned her head away from him and spoke to Shayla. He wasn't going to force her. He'd never force any woman. She needed to come to the same conclusion he had. Whatever was going on between them overpowered them both. The only difference was he wasn't fighting it.

  "I'm sorry." She pressed her hand to her throat, turned, and walked away with Shayla.

  He stood outside and watched her get in Shayla's car, back out of the lot, and leave. Nova had a bad habit of always running away when he tried to get close. He had a hard time believing it was about something he'd done. She couldn't hide from the way she kissed him back or the way she clung to him. The woman who plastered her body against his understood what she wanted. What was stopping her?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Parked under the viaduct, Nova cradled her head in her hands and stared at Shayla. Tonight, she'd managed to piss off not only Emmett but her cousin, too. For several hours, she'd kept her distance from Emmett.

  When he walked close to her, she moved away. When he looked at her, she focused her attention on someone else. In her desire to forget about him, she thought about him constantly. She walked around with an extra sway in case he watched. She laughed louder in case he listened. She even got up and sang in front of everyone knowing she couldn't carry a tune. All because she wanted him to keep looking at her as if she was someone special, and he had.

  There were others around them tonight, and yet she felt as if they'd spent the last six hours together, alone, highly aware of each other.

  "I don't know what to do about Emmett." Nova dropped her hands to her lap, suddenly tired. "It's not even about the fear of losing my job or Emmett finding out what I do for a living."

  "I think you can trust him not to say anything about the Network or Red Light." Shayla turned off the stereo in the car. "That's if you really do like him. It's only fair, Nova. He has no clue what you do for a living or what it means for you to come to the trailer park and be around us all."

  She let her head fall back on the headrest of the seat and turned her gaze to Shayla. "There's more to all this than if I like him, or he likes me. I don't even care if he knows I'm a prostitute. I'm not ashamed of what I've done with my life."

  That wasn't exactly the truth.

  Two months ago, she would've believed her lie. Since meeting Emmett and knowing he wouldn't be able to accept her past, she wanted to protect the hurt she could feel coming. The awful regret deep in her bones that left her uncomfortable and highly aware of what others thought of her occupation.

  Every man who walked through the green door pushed her further away from Emmett. And, she only wanted to run to him. Every time he pushed her to kiss him, something inside of her healed. She had no idea she was broken until he'd forced her to kiss him.

  Not forced.

  No, he took control. He'd given her permission to take what he offered and wait for more. She failed to think or question him, and she was addicted to the feeling of letting him lead the way.

  Now, she hated her job. Most of all, she hated the fact that even if she walked away from the Network right now, it wouldn't matter in the end. Ten men, a thousand men, it wasn't the number of customers she'd had sex with that would upset Emmett.

  She tried to tell herself that her choice not to have sex with Emmett somehow protected him and gave her a reason why Emmett would respect her later. But, even that wouldn't matter.

  She was a sex worker. Plain and simple.

  Emmett was a proud man who lived honestly and simply. He would never be able to overlook her past, and she couldn't expect him too.

  Shayla reached over and grabbed Nova's hand, squeezing to show her concern. "I've known something else was bothering you since you came back. You're still up for fun, hanging at the park—even this one, but there's something you're not even telling me. Isn't there?"

  She nodded.

  "Tell me. What's going on with you?" said Shayla.

  "I get my assignments three months in advance. When I found out I'd be coming to Federal, I was so pumped up. I could see my family again."

  "I remember you calling and could hear the excitement in your voice."

  Nova inhaled deeply. She'd kept her dreams to herself in fear of failing.

  "From the first day I began working for the Network, I've been putting half of the money I've earned away. I wanted to buy a real house with a foundation and sturdy walls where I had privacy from neighbors." Her voice shook, and she stopped. "Don't take this the wrong way because your mom provided me with a wonderful place to grow up and you and Nick have also made a great life for the both of you. There's nothing wrong with living in a trailer park. I think what I really wanted, what I want now, is something better."

  The silence in the car laid guilt on Nova's shoulders. She'd insulted Shayla and the life they both lived. As children, they'd dreamed of bigger things. New towns, big houses, and fancy cars. They'd used a whole notebook playing M.A.S.H until she ended up with the prediction that she'd marry William —a fourteen-year-old and the mayor's son, live in a mansion, have five kids, and drive a Jaguar.

  While the game entertained her, she wanted the real deal. At one time, Shayla had wanted the same thing, and once she had the ability to do something that helped her reach her goals, she'd chickened out.

  Nova went on without her, and now she'd hurt Shayla.

  "I'm sorry," she whispered. "There's no easy way for me to bring the subject up without hurting you, and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I have plans, Shayla. When my contract is up at Red Light, I want to settle here, in Federal. I want to be close to you and Nick. I love you."

  "But, you don't want to be associated with us or live in a trailer park." Shayla shrugged, letting go of Nova's hand. "I get it."

  "No, you don't." Nova swallowed the emotional lump of sadness choking her. "I can't go back even if I wanted to. Remember Ms. Durham on Lot 24C? There's even a lady at your park, Caren. I've seen how the guys look at her and how they hide the fact that she's the go-to woman they seek out for sex, who gives it freely to them. I don't want to be the Ms. Durham of Bitterroot Trailer Park, and you can't tell me it wouldn’t happen, it would. I'd be the one everyone knows who opens her door to the men for sex in hopes of a few more dollars toward the week's groceries, and I'd be pitied by the other women and bring shame to the men."

  "Nova, I'd never let that happen to you," said Shayla softly.

  Nova sighed. "If Emmett learned the truth and I tried moving into the park, it wouldn't take long for rumors to start. Everyone talks. I'm not afraid of the customers at Red Light talking if I make my home in Federal. They have more to hide than I do. Most of the men are married. They don't want their wife, their friends, and their employer to know they visit an illegal bordello."

  Her phone vibrated. She
picked up her cell off the dash and shut off the alarm she'd set. "It's time for me to go back to the Sterling Building."

  Shayla sat in the driver's seat with no response. Nova leaned over and kissed her cheek. She'd hoped to have good news of purchasing a house and her staying in Federal to distract Shayla from the truth of why she'd continued with her plan.

  "Please, think about my position," she whispered. "I love you. I love Nick. I enjoy going to your house. Nothing has changed."

  "Everything has changed." Shayla looked away. "I feel like you're leaving me."

  "No." Nova grabbed her hand. "No. Absolutely not. That's what I'm trying to fix. I'm here, and when I'm done at Red Light, I'll be living near you. We can still see each other all the time."

  "Right, and every time we get together, it'll be at your house where we end up gathering, and it'll be on your time because you won't be a part of Bitterroot Trailer Park. Yet, you want to live here and rub it in my face that you rose above the trash." Shayla blew out her breath. "Just go. I'm fine. I'll get over it. We're family."

  Nova blinked hard to clear the tears out of her vision. She never cried in front of anyone. She respected Shayla and her firm ideas and thoughts, and should've foreseen how she'd handle the news. Nevertheless, she hurt one of the most important people in her life, and she wanted to fix everything and make Shayla feel better.

  Opening the door, she left the car, and walked under the viaduct, leaving Shayla to her opinion and hoped time soothed the wounded feelings between them. They'd survived many disagreements, and neither one of them stayed mad more than a day. But, she'd been away from home for almost six years.

  She and Shayla were two different people now.

  Lost in trying to figure out how to make everything right with Shayla and how to dial back her reaction to Emmett every time she was around him, she turned down the alley and stopped in panic.

  A biker sat on a motorcycle at the back of the building in plain view. She hurried to the sidewalk and hid in the doorway of the vacant building next door. Caught up in trying to figure out her life, she'd walked through town unaware of her surroundings.