Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Wise Up!
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The only player in the Los Angeles Dodgers’ starting lineup with a batting average of .300 or better going into the 1965 World Series was pitcher Don Drysdale.
Only cats born with no tail: the Manx. The breed carries a genetic mutation that causes the abnormality.
Only all-female African American military unit to deploy to Europe during World War II: the 888th Central Postal Directory Battalion, out of Georgia. They sorted and delivered mail to soldiers.
Frank Zappa’s only Top-40 song: “Valley Girl,” in 1982 (it reached #32).
Only player to get caught stealing to end the World Series: Babe Ruth, in 1926.
According to Billboard, only two songs with the word “summer” in the title have reached number one: “Summer in the City” and “Theme from a Summer Place.”
Only Norwegian band with international success: a-ha. Biggest hit: “Take on Me.”
Michelangelo signed only one of his sculptures—the Pietà.
Only golfer to spend 30 minutes on a single hole in the U.S. Open: Ray Ainsley (1938).
The only member of Pink Floyd to play on every one of the band’s albums: drummer Nick Mason.
Shirley Bassey is the only artist to have recorded songs for more than one James Bond movie (Goldfinger, Diamonds Are Forever, and Moonraker).
The only horse to defeat Man o’ War was named Upset.
Canada
In the 1940s, the Canadian government advised mothers to begin toilet-training babies at one month old.
Of Canada’s 36 “Fathers of Confederation,” two of them were named John Hamilton Gray.
One in ten Canadians say they’d support a law that encouraged people in major cities to wear name tags.
During World War II, German U-boats sank 23 vessels in Canada’s St. Lawrence River.
The United States has invaded Canada twice—once during the American Revolution and once during the War of 1812.
One of Canada’s founding fathers was an American: William P. Howland of Pawling, New York.
In 1943, Fred Rose became the only Communist ever elected to the Canadian parliament.
Despite their good-guy image, Canada’s Mounties have been caught spying on people illegally.
Talk Like a Pirate
THREATS
Your sands are run!
(I’m going to kill you!)
I’ll slit a couple of feet of steel into your vitals!
(I’ll stab you with my sword!)
I come from hell, and I’ll carry you there presently.
(How all good pirates answer the question “Where are you from?”)
INSULTS
You’re a dung-souled knuckle brain.
(You’re an incapable idiot.)
You’ve got a split tongue.
(You’re a liar.)
You should be fed on pap and suckets.
(You’re acting like a baby. Pap and suckets were soft foods often served to babies.)
The smell of you alone is enough to wrinkle the noses of pigs.
(You stink.)
GENERAL DIRECTIONS
“Scupper your hide out of here.”
(Go away.)
Clap a stopper on your eyes.
(Quit crying.)
Put a name on what you’re at.
(What do you mean?)
Bestir yourself!
(Move it!)
Cough up your tale.
(Tell us your story.)
Keep your tongue behind your teeth.
(Don’t say anything.)
Shiver your timbers.
(Wait a minute.)
Stay your claws.
(Keep your hands to yourself.)
Strike your colors.
(Surrender.)
Cock your piece.
(Get your gun ready.)
Too Cool for School
Chuck Berry has a degree from a beauty school.
Tony Blair’s schoolmaster called him “the most difficult boy I ever had to deal with.”
Singer Huey Lewis scored a perfect 800 on the math portion of his SAT.
Philosopher and author Eric Hoffer (The True Believer, published in 1951) was self-educated. He was homeless for many years, and then worked as a dishwasher and longshoreman.
Gene Simmons of KISS was once an elementary school teacher.
Garth Brooks’s college major: advertising.
Al Capone dropped out of school when he was 14.
Jack Nicholson spent every day of an entire school year in detention.
In high school, Mariah Carey’s nickname was “Mirage” because she was absent so often.
Monica Lewinsky’s classmates voted her “Most Likely to Get Her Name in Lights.”
The Blues
The term “feeling blue” has its roots in nautical traditions. In the old days, when a captain or officer died, the ship flew a blue flag.
People sitting in the first few rows of a Blue Man Group concert get plastic ponchos before the show to protect them from the mess created as the performers bang on the liquid-filled tops of drums.
In many languages, people use the same word for the colors blue and green.
The sky is blue because of the way the human eye perceives color. On sunny days, light scatters in such a way that the eye “sees” only the blue part of the spectrum.
First official blues record: Hart A. Wand’s “Dallas Blues,” in 1912.
In 2002’s Die Another Day, James Bond sliced Thomas Gainsborough’s painting “The Blue Boy” with a sword.
The Toronto Blue Jays are the only Major League Baseball team located outside the United States.
World’s largest blue sapphire: the Blue Giant of the Orient, at 466 carats.
Canada’s largest fruit crop: blueberries.
The term “blue jeans” comes from the French bleu de Gênes, meaning “blue of Genoa.” Why? Some of the first denim pants were manufactured in Italy and were shipped out of the port of Genoa.
Bluebirds were considered a rare species until 1996.
10 Strange Bands
1. THE FIRST VIENNESE VEGETABLE ORCHESTRA
This nine-member Austrian group plays instruments made completely out of fresh vegetables, including carrot flutes, eggplant drums, and a “gurkaphone” (a hollow cucumber with a carrot mouthpiece and green-pepper bell). At the conclusion of live performances, the Orchestra chops up its instruments and makes a soup, which is shared with the audience.
2. MAX Q
It’s the world’s only soft-rock band made up entirely of former astronauts. All six members flew on the U.S. space shuttle in the 1980s and 1990s. They play mostly love songs about space and alienation. “Max Q” refers to the the point at which a spacecraft maximizes aerodynamic pressure.
3. POWERGLOVE
This American group plays fast, heavy versions of the instrumental music from 1980s Nintendo video games, such as Super Mario Brothers and The Legend of Zelda.
4. GWAR
The band dresses in elaborate rubber ogre and monster costumes and takes stage names like “Oderus Urungus,” “Flattus Maximus,” and “Beefcake the Mighty.” GWAR plays hard-driving heavy metal songs (such as “Maggots” and “Death Pod”). Their show includes staged deaths and buckets of fake vomit and blood that they throw at the audience.
5. MUSCLE FACTORY
First, the tank-top-and-spandex-shorts-clad sextet performs songs about weightlifting, such as “Pump to Failure” and “The Spotter.” Then they lift weights—onstage.
6. QNTAL
Qntal is a German trio that sings, in Latin and ancient German dialects, haunting, medieval-style ballads about all sorts of historical events. They’re backed with a thumping drum machine. The name Qntal came to a group member in a dream.
7. TRACHTENBERG FAMILY SLIDESHOW PLAYERS
This is an old-fashioned family band. Dad Jason plays guitar and sings lead, teenage daughter Rachel plays drums and sings backing vocals, and mom Tina operates the slide projector. Why slides? T
heir songs are based on picture slides, bought at garage sales and thrift stores, which are projected along with the songs.
8. THE CANDY BAND
Four former Detroit rock musicians who became stay-at-home moms started this band to entertain their children. Their songs are punkrock covers of nursery rhymes, classic children’s songs, and TV show theme songs. (The Candy Band has also performed on The Today Show.)
9. SUPER FURRY ANIMALS (SFA)
Playing psychedelic/electronic pop, with many songs sung in Welsh, SFA is extremely popular in England. What makes them so weird? During live shows, the band members—using secret special-effects technology—slowly morph into furry, hulking Sasquatches.
10. ARNOCORPS
Heavily inspired by Arnold Schwarzenegger, the “pioneers of action-adventure hardcore rock and roll” pretend to be action-adventure movie heroes from the mountains of Austria.
* * *
“I don’t know anything about music. In my line, you don’t have to.”
—Elvis Presley
Ancient Eating
In ancient Rome, it was considered a sin to eat a woodpecker.
The first volume of published recipes dates to AD 62. Titled De re coquinaria (“On the Subject of Cooking”), it described the feasts enjoyed by the Roman emperor Claudius.
The first archaeological evidence of soup dates back to 6000 BC. The main ingredient was hippopotamus.
Romans did not eat sitting up—that was considered extremely bad manners. They ate lying down on couches around the table.
The oldest known sample of a chewing gum was found in Sweden in 1993. The 9,000-year-old gob of honey-sweetened resin still contained tooth marks.
In the 13th century, quality standards for pasta were set by the pope.
Romans flavored food with garum, a paste made by leaving fish to rot for several weeks.
Pepper was so valuable during Elizabethan times that it was sold by the individual grain.
The ancient Romans had soft drinks of root juices and water.
Trash Talk
The average American throws away about 10 pounds of trash per day.
Newspapers take up the most space in landfills.
Almost 7 million tons of clothing and fabric are thrown away every year. Just 12 percent of that is reused or recycled.
It takes 80 to 100 years for an aluminum can to degrade.
In 2007, Americans threw out twice as much trash as they did in 1960.
By the year 2020, the city of San Francisco plans to recycle all of its trash.
In 2002, astronauts removed 4,000 pounds of trash from the International Space Station. Some of it was brought back to Earth in the space shuttle, but the rest was stuffed into an unmanned Russian rocket and burned up in Earth’s atmosphere.
Most common litter: cigarette butts. Smokers toss 4.5 trillion butts a year.
Everyday Inventions
Who invented the coat hanger? Historians say Thomas Jefferson.
Hungarian László Bíró, who patented the ballpoint pen, was also a sculptor and hypnotist.
Pizza was invented in 1889 by Raffaele Esposito in Naples, Italy.
The Countess du Barry, mistress of France’s King Louis XV, invented the fishbowl.
Bette Nesmith Graham, mother of Monkee Mike Nesmith, invented Liquid Paper in the 1950s.
Jack Johnson, the first African American world heavyweight boxing champion, invented the common household wrench.
Band-Aid is the trademarked name for the 1921 invention of Earle Dickson.
William Blackstone of Indiana invented the washing machine in 1874 as a birthday gift for his wife.
Marion Donovan made the first diaper cover out of a shower curtain.
Coca-Cola, invented by Dr. John S. Pemberton in 1885, was originally sold as a “brain tonic.”
The first pencil with an attached eraser was invented in 1858 by Hymen L. Lipman of Philadelphia.
A cigar-smoking lawyer from Lima, Pennsylvania, named Joshua Pusey invented book matches in 1889.
The pop-top can was invented by Ermal Fraze of Kettering, Ohio, in 1959.
Thor Bjørklund, a Norwegian, came up with the first cheese slicer in 1925.
Death…
Mark Twain was born in 1835, a year that Halley’s Comet was visible from Earth. As an adult, he predicted he would also die in a year that the comet made an appearance. He did, in 1910.
Hair and fingernails do not grow after death. Skin recedes, making them appear longer.
In 1995, inmates on death row in Texas protested because the state had banned smoking in prisons.
“Old age” hasn’t been allowed on death certificates in the United States as an official cause of death since 1951.
Thorton’s Mortuary in Atlanta, Georgia, opened the first drive-through funeral parlor in 1968. Mourners drove past a large window, through which they could see the deceased.
After her husband Albert died in 1861, Queen Victoria slept with a portrait of him on the pillow next to her.
…and Taxes
The simplest U.S. tax form (the 1040EZ) has more than 30 pages of instructions.
The U.S. tax code contains more than 7 million words.
Many states require people to pay taxes on illegal drug sales.
In 1798, the United States instituted its first property tax on land, homes…and slaves.
There are twice as many U.S. tax preparers as police officers.
In Alabama, there’s a 10¢ tax on playing cards.
Random Thirteens
The number 13 is considered lucky in China because its symbol resembles one that means “must be alive.”
In 1941, Joe DiMaggio struck out only 13 times. (In contrast, Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard struck out 199 times in 2007, the most on record.)
Napoléon Bonaparte, Herbert Hoover, and Franklin Delano Roosevelt all feared the number 13.
In 1959, Harvey Haddix became the first pitcher to throw 12 perfect innings—and then he lost the game in the 13th.
Apollo 13 was launched at 13:13, military time. The astronauts aborted the mission and turned back to Earth on Friday, April 13.
Black Sabbath released its self-titled first album in February 1970…on Friday the 13th.
Cost to U.S. economy when superstitious people stay home on Friday the 13th: $800 million.
Although DVDs are the same size as CDs, a DVD can store 13 times as much data.
Sports Milestones
Most strikeouts thrown in one baseball game: 21, by the Washington Senators’ Tom Cheney, in 16 innings (1962).
In 1954, Roger Bannister was the first person to run a mile in under four minutes, with a time of 3:59.4.
Ray Harroun was the first winner of the Indianapolis 500, in 1911.
In 1986, American Greg LeMond became the first non-European to win the Tour de France.
Tallest golfer to play on the PGA Tour: Phil Blackmar (6'7").
In 1981, John Henry was the first Thoroughbred to win a million-dollar race.
In 1926, Gertrude Ederle became the first woman to swim the English Channel. Only five men had done it before her.
Most seasons as a major-league baseball umpire: Bill Klem and Bruce Froemming, each with 37 years.
First Asian American woman to win an Olympic gold medal: figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi, in 1992.
The winner of the first Kentucky Derby was Aristides, ridden by Oliver Lewis, on May 17, 1875.
First basketball player to enter the NBA directly from high school: Reggie Harding in 1962.
The first Ironman Triathlon was held in Hawaii in 1978.
The New York Yankees have won 26 championships, more than any other professional sports team.
Late 19th-century boxer John L. Sullivan was the first American sports figure to become a national celebrity.
Winter Facts
In the United States, the first day of winter is on the 21st or 22nd of December. But in Australia, it’s between June 20 and June
23.
On average, winters in Europe were colder just a few hundred years ago. In fact, London’s river Thames sometimes froze completely during the winter, and between the 1400s and 1800s, Londoners held festivals called “frost fairs” on the ice.
So much snow falls in the Japanese Alps during the winter that most buildings have entrances on their second stories.
People have been building snowmen since the Middle Ages.
Largest ice-sculpting festival in the world: the World Ice Art Championships, held every March in Fairbanks, Alaska.
The legend of Jack Frost probably originated with the Vikings.
Symptoms of SAD (seasonal affective disorder): excessive sleeping, tiredness, depression, and physical aches.
Winter skating rinks in Moscow, Russia, cover more than 26,000 square feet.
* * *
MOTHER IN MOURNING
According to ancient Greek mythology, winter began because Hades, god of the underworld, kidnapped Persephone, the daughter of the earth goddess Demeter. Eventually, Hades and Demeter worked out a deal where Persephone spent six months aboveground with her mother and six months below with Hades. But during the six months Persephone was away, Demeter became so depressed that she prevented plants and crops from growing, thus causing winter.
Transportation
On average, a commercial airplane in the United States gets struck by lightning at least once a year.
The first car manufacturer to introduce seat belts: Saab, in 1958.
China’s Shanghai Maglev Train is the world’s fastest passenger train. It reaches speeds of more than 250 mph.
There are about 600 million passenger cars in the world, one for every 11 people.
First monorail in the United States: the Disneyland Monorail System, which opened in 1959.
Motorola’s first products were car radios. The company’s name is a combination of “motor” and “Victrola.”
Germany was the first nation to develop rocket-powered aircraft, during World War II.
First member of the British royal family to fly in a jet: the Queen Mother, in 1952.