My underwear were abandoned pretty quickly, and then I was spitting into my palm and slicking myself up. Pretending his mouth was on me. My spit was his spit. That I could feel the hot wet cavern of his mouth.
“Grab the base and suck it hard,” I said hoarsely. “Pretend it’s mine.”
* * *
Kai
Garrett had underestimated me. From under my lashes, I peeked up at him. His face was red, his muscled chest flushed, and the veins in his neck so prominent, I worried he was going to stroke out.
But then his jaw clenched, and he spoke in a firm voice that reminded me while this might be my show, he was the puppet master. “Stop. I don’t want you to come yet.”
I pulled back with one last lick at the head of my cock. I’d never done it before since I could get the same feeling with the right fleshlight, but in front of Garrett? With him directing me? Hell yeah. A shudder ran down my rounded spine.
The knowledge that he was on the other side of the world and so affected by me only made me harder. “Garrett.” I said his name like a plea.
“Stroke yourself. Touch your balls.”
Taking one hand from behind my knees, I fisted my cock, squeezing up and down the length before rolling my balls in my hand. My grip was a little firmer than I usually liked but I needed something to ground me before I shot too early.
“Now get out your toys. I know you got some, cam boy.”
Yes, yes, I did. I let my legs drop to my bed, careful not to jostle the laptop too much. I stretched over and opened up the drawer to my bedside table.
“Show me what you have,” Garrett said. “I have something specific in mind.”
I turned to him, my hand in the drawer, wrapped around a plug. “Everything?”
“Dildos or vibrators. The biggest you got.”
Sucking in a breath, I turned back to my search and enjoyed the friction of my hard cock against the sheet. I pulled out five dildos—three silicone and two glass. I preferred the ribbed blue one because it always hit me just right. Plus, I liked blue.
Garrett surveyed the variety. I didn’t think about how ridiculous this would look to an outsider—me holding them in front of me like they were a plate of cookies. I stretched out my tongue and licked the tip of one.
Garrett shifted on the bed. I could practically hear his heart racing. “Is that everything?”
“You don’t like any of these?”
His teeth dragged over his lower lip before he said, “You need a suction base.”
Oh. Oh.
I actually did have one of those but I’d never taken it out of the box. I dumped the armful of sex toys back into my drawer and held up a finger. Lying on my stomach, I reached under the bed, opened the box, and pulled out the light flesh colored dildo with the suction base. I held it up to Garrett, and he immediately grinned. Well, I thought it was a grin, it was sort of hard to tell with his gritted teeth.
Garrett nodded his approval. “Stick it to your headboard.”
I looked at the solid wood headboard, then back at Garrett. “The headboard?”
“Yes, Kai. You’re going to fuck yourself on it, and keep those gorgeous eyes on me the whole time. Understand?”
I wasn’t proud of the whimper that left my throat. I’d done a lot on camera, but I’d never been able to see my audience. I’d never wanted to. And while sure, a dildo in my ass felt great, I knew this would be…totally different. With Garrett watching, with him getting off with me, his gravelly voice in my ear urging me on.
I was panting as I affixed the suction base to my headboard, then turned around on all fours to make sure it was at the right height. I tested it, canting my hips so the tip of the silicone pressed against my hole. When it felt right, I arched my back and stared straight at Garrett.
His lips were parted as he clutched his cock. It was red and flushed against his abs. “Get your lube.”
After snatching it off the bedside table, I sat back on my heels and squeezed some onto my fingers. Before I got my fingers anywhere near where they needed to go, Garrett barked out another command. “No. I want to see. I want to imagine your fingers are mine, getting that tight hole ready for my cock.”
Of course he did. I loved how he talked like a filthy porno, because…somehow I knew this was just for me. Under it all, I knew, I knew there was an underlying affection, a need and lust and want for me. Just me. Not Costigan. Not any of the other guys on the base.
I sat back and spread my legs so he got the view he wanted, then reached down, pulling up my balls so he could get a good look. I waited for this next command.
“Circle your rim for me, baby. Use your middle finger. I want your ass nice and ready for when I stuff my dick in you.”
My head fell back as I listened to his instructions.
“Two fingers at once,” he whispered. “You can do it. I know you’ve been fucking yourself every night while thinking of me, right? When it’s just you in the dark without the camera.”
“Yes.” I breached myself with two fingers. “Think about you all the time.”
“You fucking better. A night doesn’t go by without you on my mind.” Garrett’s voice was strained. “Come on, Kai. Let’s see those fingers going in and out, and tell me what you think about when you fuck yourself.”
“You holding me down, one of those big hands over my wrists. Your knees pinning my thighs. And you fucking me so hard I can’t catch my breath. Until the only thing I can do is take everything you have to give me. Like that’s my only purpose.”
“Oh fuck,” Garrett groaned. “Oh fuck, that’s so goddamn hot, Kai.”
“Wish this was you,” I muttered, not even realizing I’d planned to say that until the words came out.
“I’m there,” he said, a steady conviction in his voice. “I’m right there, my fingers in that hole, rubbing against your prostate, telling you how I’m gonna drill you into the bed.”
I couldn’t speak anymore, not as I crooked my fingers and nudged that bundle of nerves that lit up my body even more than it already was.
“You want my dick, Kai?”
“Yes,” I gasped. “God, fucking yes. I want it so bad.”
“On your hands and knees, baby. Time to fuck. I want to feel that hot body milking me.”
I rolled over onto my hands and knees, my limbs shaking.
“Move the laptop a little so I can see.”
I angled it so he could see my face as well as the length of my body, and the dildo suctioned to my headboard.
“Perfect,” he uttered. “I got my hands on your hips, framing that perfect ass. And your back is arched, just waiting for me. You’re begging me for it, aren’t you?”
I tilted my hips just enough to feel the blunt head grazing my ass. “Please,” I said. “I want it so bad.”
“What do you want?”
“You. I want your dick in me and your sweat dripping on me as you pound me.”
“Jesus fuck. I’m—”
“Yes—”
“I’m so fucking close already.” Garrett’s chest glistened with sweat, and he spoke through harsh breaths. “I’m yanking you back on my cock.”
I reached back and grabbed the dildo “Please.”
“Push back. Take me in.”
With a cry, I impaled myself.
“You’re so tight, Kai. So goddamn tight. Look at me.”
With gargantuan effort, I held my head up to watch as Garrett’s fist blurred over his rigid flesh. “You hear that crack? That’s my palm on your ass telling you to fucking move. Fuck yourself on my cock. I know you can do it.”
I arched my back and did what he told me to do, shoving back on the stiff length and imagining flesh and blood rather than what was really in my ass. I gripped the mattress and didn’t stop the noises coming from my throat as I stared at Garrett. He didn’t take his eyes off of me. Not once. Even as he grunted, even as I saw the sweat drip down his temple, splashing on his rippled abs and fast-moving fist.
“How do you I feel?” he said. “Hitting you right?”
“So right,” I said. “So perfect.”
Garrett’s head fell back against the wall, and he watched me from beneath a fall of dark hair. He slid his hand over his dick faster and with more aggressive tugs. I loved the sound of him gasping, of his deep moans, but I loved it more when he started talking to me again.
“I’m so fucking close, Kai. Wanna come with me?”
I nodded, unable to speak.
“Your fist is my fist, and I want it wrapped around that thick cock.” Every word heightened my lust, and the roar of arousal in my ears. “I want you to blow when I unload in that tight ass.”
My hand was there, and I pretended it wasn’t my slender fingers. I pretended it was Garrett’s calloused palms.
“Oh fuck, I’m close too.”
Garrett’s eyes flicked between his erection and my face. “I’m going to fill you up, baby. Pound you so—so fucking hard…until—”
My balls drew up as my ass clenched on the cock in my ass. “Oh God—”
“Oh fuck yes, Kai!”
Garrett released, and splashes of semen covered his stomach and hand. I followed right after him, fucking myself through it, painting my sheets below and continuing to jack myself until the point of pain.
With a groan, I collapsed onto the bed in the wet spot, my ass empty and sore, my chest heaving as I fought to catch my breath.
I didn’t look at the laptop, squeezing my eyes shut because I needed a minute to myself. This wasn’t some video I’d done for faceless viewers. This had been for Garrett. For us.
Now that the lust had worn off, I remembered where I was. I was alone in my apartment, with no hot body behind me. I’d fucked myself on a silicone dildo, not a real cock attached to a real man who cared about me. No cum in my ass, no bruises on my hip from a punishing grip. There was only me, and my sweat, and my rapidly cooling body.
“Kai?” Garrett’s voice had lost the commanding tone. Now there was only concern. Shit, I couldn’t let him see me all melancholy.
With an ache I felt down into my bones, I rolled my head to the side and smiled weakly. “Hey.”
He was as close to the camera as possible, his gaze slipping down my body and back again. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just sore. You fucked me good.”
His face brightened and he laughed. “Glad you think so. Sure you’re all right?”
“I’m fine. You?”
His smile softened. “I’m great. I…” he ran his hand through his hair, making it stick up. He was adorable when flustered and unsure of what to say. “You’re incredible. And not just for that…. You’re incredible because of everything. All of it added up.”
Christ, he thought I was way more special than I was. I was a hermit gamer who’d previously jacked off on camera. How was that special? My voice was hoarse as I said, “You are, too.”
“I’m outta here soon, Kai,” he said. “I’ll be home.”
“I’m so happy for you.”
“Yeah, but that means I get to see you. That means I get to finally touch you. You want to know how often I think about that? Every day. All the time.”
I was glad in that moment that he just assumed we would meet. That he didn’t ask. Because if he asked, I’d have to lie. “I think about it too, babe.”
He glanced over the laptop, then back at me. “I gotta go. Can’t get caught staying up all night. I’m gonna be exhausted tomorrow.”
“I’ll nap for you.”
“Asshole.”
“Have a good shift in the morning.” Grinning, I blew a kiss. “Don’t get in any fights.”
He brushed his fingers against the screen, and I wondered what part of my body he was touching. “Sleep well. Talk soon.”
The Skype call disconnected. I lay there for a long time, somewhere between asleep and awake. I hadn’t let myself think too much about what would happen when Garrett came home, when he found out I was seriously far from the perfect person he’d imaged.
In reality, I knew he was only interested in me because I was a good distraction. Eventually, he’d find someone with less baggage to make him happy. That thought comforted me for a minute, then a white hot bolt of jealousy had me sitting up straight.
I was fucked.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
May
Garrett
Things got weird right after our first Skype fuck.
Our deployment was ending soon, but there was no word yet on the exact date. It could be as long as a month and as early as a couple of weeks. There was no way to know.
The first thing I did was tell Kai.
Garrett: Guess what? I’ll be home soon!
Kai: Wow, time flew by.
His response had left me cold although I blamed the limitations of text more than anything else.
I’d replied with a teasing comment about showing up at his door with chocolates and a red panda plush, and he’d been clearly delighted about the idea. Whether it was about the panda or me showing up unexpectedly was up in the air, but I was holding onto hope that it was the latter.
I began Skyping my sister more than usual, leery of coming home without warning when they’d likely gotten into a Garrett-less groove. It had happened during my last deployment, and I’d never felt more like I’d been invading their space. But my father had been alive back then. Maybe things would be different now.
“Garrett, you’re being so ridiculous.”
“No, I’m not.” I rested my face against my fist and watched my sister’s expression turn scathing. “You’re trying to tell me you didn’t get used to me not taking up space? Tell Ma that my first priority will be getting a place of my own. I’ll look when I get home.”
“Garrett—”
“My enlistment is ending, and I’m not re-upping.”
“Thank God,” Nicole breathed. “You seem so unhappy this time around.”
Understatement. My first enlistment had felt more…like I had a purpose. I had no idea what this was, but I was sure I could find something else to do with my life.
“Yeah,” I said, not focusing on that aspect. They’d just worry. “I have a plan for employment. One of the guys was talking to me about all of these companies that are big on hiring army mechanics. He said the best one is Caterpillar. If I jump on it right away, I can hopefully get a gig doing production. Might even have a shot at production management, which pays a lot more.”
I didn’t think I was management material, but I knew I could bullshit my way into the position if I had someone who was willing to hear me out. If I’d been trusted to work on military vehicles for guys going out on patrol beyond the wire, I could damn sure be trusted to supervise the mechanics working on vehicles used in the civilian world.
It was my one hope, and my one ticket out of the shithole town Nicole and I had grown up in. Worst-case scenario was being stuck there, or anywhere near there, to be a grease monkey barely making pocket change. It was the fate most of my high schools friends had met earlier on.
“I’m gonna get a job,” I said. “Don’t worry.”
“Garrett, shut the fuck up!” Nicole clapped her hands to silence me. “No one is hustling you out the door, you fool! We want you to come home. You think Mom doesn’t want you in the house?”
“No, I don’t think that. But who knows what’s going to happen now that she’s dating some joker.”
Nicole rolled her eyes. “I never should have told you about that. You’ll come back, take your damn time finding a job, and then you can worry about moving. Just take it easy for a while.”
I planned to. With Kai.
Which reminded me that I’d have to tell my family about him eventually. The very idea roiled my stomach. The last thing I wanted was to cause my mother more grief, but I couldn’t go through life lying about girlfriends just to keep her happy.
“Garrett, are you listening?”
“Yeah,” I lied. “You were talking about M
om.”
Nicole’s mouth twisted to the side. “Uh huh. But specifically the fact that she and her boyfriend have been seeing a lot of each other. All I’m saying is, he isn’t as bad as I made him sound. Just give him a chance.”
“We’ll see.”
“Oh brother.” Nicole heaved a great sigh. “Well, I’m going to get ready for a date of my own. I’m taking him to the shooting range. It’s couples night!”
I smirked. “Romantic.”
“Aren’t I?” Nicole batted her eyelashes at me. “Don’t be so stressed, big bro! You’ll be home soon. That’s exciting!”
It was. More than she knew.
We disconnected, and I started to shut my laptop but paused right before the lid could click. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t bug Kai today since he’d been MIA on Twitch for a couple of days and his subscribers were starting to get antsy, but I couldn’t help myself. Even if we hadn’t spoken much in the past week, I still…wanted to see him. Hear him.
I was insane.
Twitch loaded, and I was amazed to see Kai’s channel packed with users. There were several thousand people watching, and at least a couple hundred talking in Chat. They definitely had missed him and were very vocal about it. The usual stream of “I love you, Kai!”, “you’re awesome” or “you fail at gaming, faggot” scrolled through Chat as everyone typed to their star. My star.
As usual, Kai just smiled and went on blithely talking about the game he was playing. He’d gone back to FWO and was wiping other players across the floor in the PVP arena. If nothing else cheered up Kai, I knew killing some noobs would always make his day. Especially if they were mouthy.
“I don’t understand this guy’s setup,” Kai said aloud. On the FWO screen, he was staring at another player’s character profile. “He’s a frost mage, but he picked up all of these random fire skills instead of advancing the ones he already has.”
Strong Signal (Cyberlove #1) Page 10