It was our way of communicating when the outside world became too much for me. He seemed to be terrified of ever being oblivious about my anxiety and had insisted we use the system my therapist had suggested when we were out and about, which made him the best boyfriend ever.
Garrett nodded and pulled out his wallet to throw some bills on the table. After saying goodbye to his coworkers, we bundled up and made our way out onto the street. I took a deep gulp of air, my heart already slowing and my blood cooling now that I was no longer stuck inside.
Our house was in walking distance so we huddled close and strode down the sidewalk. I nudged him. “Sorry we left early.”
“I was ready to go. It’s Friday. All I wanna do is get in bed, fuck you, and conk out.”
I laughed. “That’s a damn good plan.”
“I thought so.” After a moment of walking, he spoke again. “You liked them?”
“Sure, they were nice.”
When we reached our house, Garrett unlocked the door and ushered me in ahead of him. I stretched and inhaled deeply like I always did when returning to my cocoon. This house was my pride and joy, and I’d gone hog wild with the decorating. I’d gone on an online shopping spree after the first nerve-wracking week, and we’d received deliveries every day. I had a lot of savings, and damned if I wasn’t going to spend it after living like a miser for three years.
I’d painted every room a different color, thrown up pictures of our road trip from Pennsylvania to Illinois, and was now working on convincing Garrett to get a pet. He’d agreed to a fish so far, and I was trying to upgrade to a cat.
My gaming room was awesome. Garrett and I had painted it blue and hung retro game posters. It was my favorite room in the house other than our bedroom. Garrett had fretted over it for weeks until it was perfect.
I toed off my boots, hung up my jacket, and padded to the kitchen to make coffee.
“The second part of your plan might have to be delayed, you know,” I said as he followed me into the kitchen. “I gotta stream.”
“That’s fine. We got all weekend. I’m fucking beat anyway.”
Garrett watched me as I brewed a cup in the Keurig. He was still staring when it finished.
“What?” I asked, taking a sip of the piping hot brew.
“Are you sure that was okay?”
“Babe, I’m fine.” He didn’t say anything so I set down my mug and took a step closer. “You worry so much. You freak out that I’m going to freak out.”
“Because I still worry that I’m forcing you into things you don’t want to do,” he admitted after a beat of silence. “I don’t want this entire move to be…you finding yourself in uncomfortable situations, you know?”
“Garrett,” I said, exasperated. “I moved because I love you. And you know what? I like it here. You have a good job where you aren’t thousands of miles away in the desert. I’m still able to work and my subs are growing faster than ever. Probably because of your Saturday appearances but whatever.” I stomped for emphasis. “We’re building something here, and it can’t be wiped out by a panic attack or me being uncomfortable sometimes. This is my life now. I’m committed to it.”
“So am I.” Garrett pulled me into a tight hug. “I wake up every morning with you beside me, and I’ll never take that for granted.”
His words warmed me more than any cup of coffee ever could. “I’m getting better. And even when I have bad days, you understand. I’m happy here.”
“I am too.” He sighed. “It’s been perfect. Like too perfect to be real. I never expected any of this to happen.”
“Well it did.” I rose onto my toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “And you’re cute when you’re flustered.”
He made a face. “Don’t call me cute.”
Stepping away, I grabbed my coffee cup. “Okay, for real, I have to sign on to Twitch now.”
“Go for it.” The words came through a yawn, but he held up a hand to halt my steps. “Don’t forget to send Nicole your Christmas list.”
“She doesn’t have to get me anything.”
“She’s going to buy you something regardless. Just accept it and send her a list. She loves that shit.”
I didn’t disagree too forcefully. The thought of spending the holidays with Garrett’s family filled me with glee. They were coming here to visit, and I couldn’t wait. Plus, I’d already bought them so much shit. Garrett only knew about half of it.
“Okay, fine.”
“All right, I’m going to bed.”
I was halfway to my office when he poked his head out of our bedroom door.
“Hey.”
“Hey what?”
Another soft smile crossed his face. “I love you.”
Would I ever get used to those words melting my insides? The answer was a hard no.
“I love you too.”
He disappeared into our bedroom, and I slipped into the office. When I signed onto Twitch, I greeted Chat and there was no hiding the huge grin on my face.
CherryCakes: I love seeing you happy, Kai!
Being happy was the best. My life had finally come together thanks to a chance encounter on a video game. If I believed in fate, I’d think my orc and his archer had been destined to camp the same room. To pay homage to that fact, I signed onto FWO and went to the arena to own some noobs.
Want more Cyberlove?
It was supposed to be a typical Grindr hookup. There wasn’t supposed to be a second time, or a third, or more. He certainly wasn’t supposed to get under my skin. And it definitely wasn’t in the plan for me to fall in love with Dominic Costigan.
But things never go as planned.
Fast Connection coming Fall 2016
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Acknowledgements
We wrote this book based on a small kernel of an idea and our interest in how parasocial relationships form online. Then we both fell in love with the characters and the story, and now we hope readers do too. This book was truly a collaboration through and through, and we had a blast writing it.
Many people helped us shape this book into what it became. Thanks to Alexis Hall, AJ Pine and Lia Riley, who beta’d in the very early draft stages and helped us flesh out and unpack Kai and Garrett’s story.
The absolute hugest thanks to Natasha Snow, for this cover that took our breath away. We told you about the book and you ran with it, giving us this rad cover concept that had us jumping up and down with excitement. You are awesome to work with!
Thank you to Sarah Henning for your copy editing services. You were awesome to work with and really helped us make this book the best it could be! Anna caught all the errors we’d missed during proofing, and Daniel worked his formatting magic on a manuscript full of text messages and chat speak. Thank you both!
So, this story required a lot of inspiration. We both spent a lot of time on Twitch, studying the culture and how streamers interact with their viewers. Our main sources of Inspiration were Summit1g (the way he interacts with his Chat was how we modeled Kai’s relationship with his Chat), Kaceytron, Sodapoppin and Sky Williams. Uh, they’ll probably never read these acknowledgements, but we wanted to thank them anyway.
We also need to thank our family and friends. This book was written quickly because we were both so eager to get the story out, and that meant a lot of late nights and neglected loved ones. Thanks for putting up with our absences! Garrett and Kai thank you too. They were pretty eager for a HEA.
Also thank you to the members of Meg’s Mob and Hassell and Hall. Your support is immense and gave us confidence to tackle something new. You celebrated with us during milestones and were the first ones to overwhelm us with the support of this book when we announced it. Thank you!
Megan: I personally want to thank Santino for putting up with me. You were so much fun to work with, you were respectful and easy-going. And most of all, you cared about these characters and getting this story right as
much as I did. I still bow down to your prose and will always be in awe of your talent. You da man.
Santino: And thank you Megan for putting up with my erratic schedule and tendency to be a huge distraction when we’re supposed to be working. It was hard to stay focused when writing with someone who is so effortlessly funny. Megan is the reason a lot of humor came through in the text. I can’t wait for the next one!
About the Authors
Megan Erickson worked as a journalist covering real-life dramas before she decided she liked writing her own endings better and switched to fiction. She’s a multi-published author with Avon, Berkley, and Entangled. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, two kids and two cats.
Website: http://meganerickson.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MeganErickson_
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authormeganerickson
Santino Hassell is a writer of queer romance heavily influenced by the gritty, urban landscape of New York City, his belief that human relationships are complex and flawed, and his own life experiences.
Website: https://www.santinohassell.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SantinoHassell
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/santinohassellbooks
Other books by Megan Erickson
In Focus series
Trust the Focus
Focus on Me
Out of Frame*
(coming soon)
Bowler University series
Make it Count
Make it Right
Make it Last
Mechanics of Love series
Dirty Thoughts
Dirty Talk
Dirty Deeds
Gamers series
Changing His Game
Playing for Her Heart
Tied to Trouble
Other books by Santino Hassell
After Midnight
Stygian
The Five Boroughs series
Sutphin Boulevard
Sunset Park
First and First*
(coming soon)
Strong Signal (Cyberlove #1) Page 23