Unamused Muse (Mt. Olympus Employment Agency: Muse Book 2)

by R. L. Naquin

  A single bee landed on Hades’ arm and he brushed it away. A second and third landed on his cheek. The humming became a full-blown buzzing, and Hades became a man-shaped blob of thousands of bees.

  I huddled behind the trellis, afraid of being consumed along with him. As horrified as I was for Hades, I was even more concerned for my vulnerable human flesh.

  Mom’s voice rose above the cacophony, yelling at both of them to stop, and a wind kicked up in response, bringing storm clouds racing toward us overhead. Unable to see through the mask of bees, Hades flung his arm out and shot an oily darkness from his fingertips. It arced toward the nearest rows of wheat, and the stalks withered, turned black, and died. Demeter shrieked in response.

  And there I was, a puny human caught in the middle of a battle between three gods. I was powerless to stop them.

  Except that maybe I wasn’t.

  No one was paying attention to me, so I darted around the house to the front. My car sat where I’d left it when I’d arrived. I shook my head. It couldn’t have been five days ago. That was crazy. Hades could have lied, but the healing blisters on my palms said otherwise.

  The car doors were unlocked, and I entered on the passenger side. The duffel bag I’d thrown together lay on the seat where I’d left it. Hooray for being out in the middle of nowhere. Nobody had stolen it.

  I reached inside and snagged the familiar bottle, slammed the door shut, and followed the sound of thunder, bees, and angry shouting. As I ran, I unscrewed the bottle of bubbles and readied my wand.

  As I rounded the corner, something exploded and knocked me back. Darkness snuffed out the sunlight, leaving me blinded. I stumbled but kept my footing and eased closer to the sound of voices arguing ahead.

  “First you take my daughter without even asking me, and now you’re trying to take my granddaughter, too.” Demeter’s voice came from my left, brittle and choked with tears.

  “We were in love. It wasn’t your business. Nobody knew you’d throw a temper tantrum every winter and try to starve the world. You overreact to everything. Do you have any idea how much of a strain that puts on a marriage?” Hades’ words came from somewhere on the right, laced with bitterness.

  Mom must have been standing somewhere between them. Her voice was shrill and her words spilled out on top of each other. “Please, just stop it! Both of you! I won’t choose between you. It’s unfair.” Her voice tapered off, and a sob escaped her.

  Gods or not, this was a stupid family feud. I didn’t think I could fix everything, but I had to believe all three parties wanted to at least come to an agreement. People wanted to be heard. And these people weren’t listening, they were only shouting.

  By feel, I dipped my wand into the bubbles and drew it out. The wand dripped on my hand when I raised it toward my face, so I knew I’d managed to coat it in solution. I pursed my lips and blew, hoping I’d aimed my air correctly and bubbles had actually floated out from the hole. I shifted and did it a second and third time, turning as I blew in the hopes of sending bubbles out into the darkness to touch all three of the fighting gods.

  I kept my voice soft and as gentle as I could make it. “Listen to me. You’re all angry, but you don’t have to be. Sit down and talk to each other.” I dipped and blew more bubbles. “Please listen to each other. You know there’s a solution that can make everyone happy. You love each other.” I blew once more. “You can listen. I know you can.”

  For all I knew, the bubbles were catching an updraft and missing their targets—or worse, not forming in the first place. It was possible I was aiming my breath wrong and blowing past the wand.

  But I had faith. I had to, otherwise the magic of inspiration wouldn’t work, and the bubbles would carry my doubt, instead.

  The cloud of darkness dissipated, leaving us all bathed in sunlight. I stood blinking with my dripping wand dangling from one finger. Mom, Demeter, and Hades all faced me in silence, quizzical looks on their faces. Bubbles danced around their heads and popped against their elbows, cheeks, and foreheads.

  Not only had I succeeded in blowing bubbles in the dark, they’d been hitting their targets. Go, me.

  Demeter put her hands on her hips. “Wynter, what on earth are you doing?”

  “Where did you get those?” Hades frowned at the bottle in my hand. “Did you take those from the Muse department?”

  A knot formed in my stomach. What made me think this would work on gods? The bubbles came from gods. And now I was busted for having them.

  “I….” I didn’t have an answer for either of them.

  My mother swooped to my side and put an arm around my shoulders. “She’s doing what needed to be done.” She scowled at the other two. “Now we’re going to sit down like a family and work this out like she said.”

  Hades rubbed his palms on the sides of his jeans. “That’s all I ever wanted.”

  Hades and Mom turned to Demeter, and all three of us waited.

  Demeter studied each of us in turn, then sighed. “Oh, alright. I suppose we should have done this centuries ago.” She turned on her heel and went into the house. We followed, first Mom and I, then Hades.

  As I passed him, his gaze followed Mom, and he shoved his shaking hands in his pockets. His expression had a sad longing to it that made my heart ache.

  I wondered if anyone would ever look at me like that.

  Inside, we settled at the kitchen counter, each taking a stool on a different side of the rectangle. Demeter made tea and set out plates of cookies. Many, many plates of cookies.

  Hades gave me a questioning look when he saw how many there were. I shrugged and pushed a plate toward him. “We’ve been busy.”

  He nodded. “You’ve been baking cookies for nearly a week?”

  Mom bit into a daisy-shaped cookie with yellow sprinkles. “No. We also baked bread and churned butter.”

  He snorted. “You churned butter?”

  Demeter set out a variety of loaves and handed him a knife. “It’s good butter. I’ll get you some.”

  I hopped up and went to the pantry. “And we made jam.”

  Hades sliced himself a thick piece of whole wheat. “What kind?”

  I held up a few jars. “Every kind.”

  We stuffed ourselves with baked goods and pickles and hard-boiled eggs and all the fruits of our five-day labor. Food made it easier to be civil while we talked, because it was hard to yell with a full mouth and happy tummies.

  By the time we’d eaten all we could, a deal had been brokered. Persephone would visit Demeter for a week, four times a year, and one weekend per month. She would split the rest of her time between the Underworld and her own house in the human world, because she missed the sunshine. Hades was welcome to join her whenever he wanted.

  I thought it was a pretty good compromise and that everyone would be happy with it. Unfortunately, there were more parties involved in this family feud than there had been back in the days of myth.

  Now there was me.

  “I missed the first twenty-four years.” Demeter narrowed her eyes at me. “I’m not missing anything else of my granddaughter’s life.”

  Hades nodded, finally agreeing with his mother-in-law about something. “We’ve already lost enough time.”

  And so, I agreed to spend a weekend every other month with each of them, plus a week with each twice a year. Hades would fix it with Mt. Olympus so I had enough vacation time.

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to give up a weekend a month and a week every quarter, but I agreed to it anyway. It was for family.

  My whole life, I’d only had my mother. Now I had a grandmother and a stepfather who wanted to spend time with me. I worried a little that, once they really got to know me, they’d be disappointed.

  I patted my pocket where the stolen bubbles were tucked away. “I want….” I swallowed hard. “I just want to tell you all, I didn’t intentionally steal from the Muse department. It was an accident.”

  Mom reached across the counter and grabbed m
y hand. “Of course not, sweetheart. Nobody thinks you did.”

  I glanced at Hades and he smiled. “I’m not reporting it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  A little of the tension in my shoulders relaxed, but not all of it. I’d used the bubbles on them out of desperation, but it wasn’t right. Controlling people’s thoughts and desires was dangerous and unethical. “I’m sorry I had to use them on all of you. I was wrong to do that.” Might as well clear the air and get it all out in the open now.

  Demeter gaped at me. “Is that what you thought you were doing out there? Inspiring us with pilfered Muse bubbles?”

  I nodded. “I had to get you to stop fighting.”

  “Oh, honey.” Mom hopped off her chair and ran around to my side to wrap her arms around me. “Sweetheart, that’s not what happened.”

  “Mom, I blew the bubbles and told you what to do. And you did it.” I turned to Hades. I might as well confess everything while I was at it. “And I used them on the Bosco and Kevin once—I don’t feel too bad about that.” I paused and scratched my arm. “But…also, I used them on a woman in Tartarus, and she broke out.”

  He snorted. “Nobody breaks out of Tartarus, honey. They graduate. You helped her graduate early. That’s all.”

  “So, you’re not mad that I cheated?”

  “Of course not.”

  All three of them exchanged looks with each other that I didn’t understand.

  “What?” I pulled away from Mom and threw my arms in the air in exasperation.

  Mom touched my shoulder, smiling. “Sweetheart, those bubbles don’t work with a pink-plastic wand. They only work with the god wands. The way you’ve been doing it, they’re just bubbles.”

  I shook my head. “No. Bosco and Kevin went back to the gate. And David’s sister dropped her cigarette. And the new souls weren’t afraid anymore.”

  Hades grinned. “Yes, that’s true. You started a chain reaction that’s still going on.”

  “And you all stopped fighting.” Why didn’t they want to admit the bubbles worked for me? And how long had he known I’d helped the people at the gates? He hadn’t seemed at all surprised. I shook my head, confused.

  Demeter stepped around the counter and kissed my cheek. “Yes. We did.”

  Did I make the bubbles work through sheer will? Did I even need the bubbles?

  They all watched me play this through in my head. I wasn’t satisfied with the idea that I was persuasive and influenced people without magic. I’d never cared enough about anything to try in the past.

  Mom kissed my other cheek, then turned her attention to Hades. “I think maybe I’m ready to go home now.”

  Relief spread across his face, and he held his arms out. She melted into them, and he wrapped her in close. They fit together as if they’d been chiseled out of marble by a Renaissance sculptor. Mom sighed, happier than I’d ever seen her, and they disappeared together in a cloud of dark smoke.

  Demeter sighed. “I don’t suppose you’d stay a little while and help me clean up? I promise not to try to keep you here. I’m sorry about that. Truly.”

  Her expression was so sad, it squeezed my heart. After millennium of fighting to have her daughter returned, she’d nearly won. And Mom went away again. Demeter had gone about this all wrong, no question. Forgiving her and learning to trust her would take some time. And I wasn’t entirely convinced of her sanity. But I could afford to be generous, and it wouldn’t hurt me to learn how to be a granddaughter. Who knew? Maybe I could inspire her to be less angry about the long-ago past.

  I smiled. “I’d be happy to, Grandmama. It’s still pretty early. Maybe we can finish that jigsaw puzzle before I have to get going.”

  Her deep blue eyes—so like my mother’s eyes, and so like the ones I saw every day in the mirror—grew misty. “Are you sure? You aren’t angry with me?”

  She had kidnapped me and stolen five days of my life. But after hours around a table with her and Mom and Hades, my anger had softened. Mom was the only family I’d ever known before all this, and I’d been willing to do whatever it took to get her back in the brief time she’d been taken from me.

  How much worse must it have been for a goddess to lose her only daughter? Obviously, she’d do whatever she had to do to get her back. And to find she had a granddaughter, too? Of course she’d want to keep her granddaughter close, as well.

  Her methods sucked, but I could understand why she’d done it. Plus, she was a goddess. From the stories I’d read, none of them was the picture of mental health.

  “I’m not going to lie. What you did was not cool, and I’m still a little upset about it. But we’re family. I’m learning what that means, since I’ve never had more than Mom before. But I know that family forgives each other. Family is forever, right?”

  She blinked, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “Forever.” She sniffed and gave me a sly smile. “Want to bake some cookies?”

  I stared at her for a moment until she started laughing.

  “Grandmama, I never want to see another cookie as long as I live.”

  But that was a lie. We ate quite a few while we finished the puzzle. And they were still delicious.

  Chapter 24

  “I think the feral cats represent Gabriel’s fear of having caused his sister’s death.” Lamia smoothed here bowl-cut black hair over her forehead in a self-conscious manner.

  Nyx leaned across the table, nearly toppling her wine glass. “Did you even read the first ten chapters? Clearly the author is suggesting the dead girl is actually a metaphor for Gabriel’s freedom, and the feral cats represent the many choices now available to him since leaving his wife.”

  Lamia smirked and refilled her glass. It was her third. “I think you might have skimmed over the part where he remembers how he came across the dead cat when he was six and how it affected his life choices ever after.”

  Nyx bristled, waving her copy of Palindrome Falls in the air. “How can you say that when in chapter seven—”

  “Chapter seven wasn’t even his point of view!”

  Hecate nudged me with her shoulder and spoke in a whisper. “They never talk about the book. They argue about everything else, but in centuries of book club meetings, they never get around to talking about the book. You’re a genius.”

  I ducked as a profiterole stuffed with blood-orange cream flew past my head. “I’m glad I could help. Sorry you had to postpone the meeting for me.”

  “That’s quite alright. You’re one of us now. We understand. Besides….” She grinned and patted my hand. “Now that everything’s all straightened out, you won’t have anything keeping you from the rest of the meetings.”

  I dodged a flying plastic spoon and returned her smile. “No, I guess I won’t.”

  ~*~

  My last weeks on the job in the office of Underworld LLC headquarters were a lot less stressful. Word was out that I was officially part of Hades’ family, so people were a lot more polite to me on the phone. Even Pheme.

  “May I speak to Hades, please?” Her husky voice was familiar by now, but it held a more reserved tone. And she’d never said please before.

  “I’m sorry, he’s in a meeting. May I take a message?”

  She hesitated, then cleared her throat. “Maybe you could help me. Is there…is there any truth to the rumor that you’re dating Poseidon’s son in a bid to join the Underworld with the Oceans so Hades and Poseidon can finally overcome Zeus and take over Mt. Olympus?”

  Laughter burst out of me before I could stop it. It took me a minute to catch my breath and recover before I could answer. “Pheme.” I giggled a little. “Your imagination is amazing. Have you ever considered joining the Hags of the Underworld book club?”

  I may have insulted her. I wasn’t positive. But she did hang up, and she didn’t call again until long after I’d gone back to Mt. Olympus, so at least I’d accomplished something.

  I’d also made more friends than I’d realized. Parker and Kris took me
out to lunch before I left, and both my dorm mates joined us, as well as Roxy, Nyx, Nemi, and Hecate. I couldn’t be a hundred percent certain that none of them were there to appease the boss, but, Parker and Kris both got a little teary-eyed about my leaving and promised to email me pictures of the baby when I got home.

  Not everyone thought of me as a prize to be won, then.

  And as for those who did still think of me that way, my new status put an end to the deluge of requests to go out with every guy someone thought I should be fixed up with. Hades had only been aware of my dates with Max and Scooter. When he found out the entire Underworld was in a race to either be my next date or take credit for it, he put a stop to it.

  Plus, nobody wanted to drop their date off at Hades’ mansion. It was a little intimidating, I supposed. I had to admit, I was a little disappointed, simply because the idea of Hades flipping the porch light on and off to keep boys from kissing his stepdaughter was sort of hilarious.

  Lita and Otis couldn’t do enough for Mom and me. I kept trying to tell them I could run my own bath and turn down my own sheets, but Mom finally took me aside.

  “They’ve been looking forward to having us all in the same house for years,” she said. “Let them do what they want for you. You’ll be going back soon anyway.”

  She was right, but it was still a little uncomfortable having all my laundry done for me. I would never get used to it.

  Within four days of Mom’s return to the Underworld, the banks of the Styx were covered in green grass. I learned later the greenery in the Elysian Fields had all been artificial. I also found out Hades had paid someone to disrupt my date with Max—landing me in a puddle of chocolate—and had sent me to the Elysian Fields with the full intention of keeping me from meeting Scooter for drinks. Apparently, my stepfather wasn’t too keen on either of those men, at least not as companions for his stepdaughter.

  “I know Parker and Kris think the world of Scooter, but the guy’s an ass.” Hades popped a grape in his mouth. “He’s not the right guy for you. And Max is greasy. I don’t trust him.”