Lilah

by Gemma Liviero

  The front door slammed and I jumped up suddenly. Gabriel, however, did not flinch.

  ‘Well, this is becoming quite a habit finding my husband and my best friend together.’

  ‘You know that we are neither.’

  ‘Really, Gabriel?’ she asked bitterly. ‘I am so sorry that you said that.’

  ‘It is over between us. I am meant for another. You have always known that. You were alluring, my judgement clouded, but I can see through you now.’

  ‘I have become a strigoi to be with you and this is how you treat me?’

  ‘You used me.’

  ‘How wrong you are! You lured me from the monastery. I loved you and still do, more than anything.’

  She stood taller and more confident than ever, her eyes appearing paler and glaringly deadly. It was clear from the plumpness and her reddened cheeks that she had recently fed.

  ‘I cannot love someone who kills the innocent.’

  ‘I have made a few mistakes, husband, but I am not the monster you paint me.’

  Gabriel adjusted the blanket and led me towards the door. I was inches from Arianne, her eyes boring into me. There was something so cold about her gaze and I feared that she would grab me and break my neck with her strength. Instead she let us pass and did not say anything until we reached the door.

  ‘Well Gabriel, aren’t you going to tell her?’

  He ignored this and spoke only to me. ‘We will go to Lewis and I will declare our affection and then we must leave.’

  Gabriel opened the door and a rush of cold air blew in specks of snow. Arianne’s next words nearly went unheard as they disappeared into the wind whistling noisily through the opening.

  ‘Did you know that Gabriel knew your father?’

  Gabriel put a firm arm around me but I pressed my hand against his chest to stop a moment.

  ‘Did you know he was part of the plan to separate you from your mother?’

  He looked at me pleadingly to leave with him but Arianne’s words hung between us. I have thought since that it would have been better if I had never turned back to hear more, to close the door on her forever.

  ‘That’s right. We have been deceived by the man who professes his love for both of us.’

  Gabriel stepped forward then and I saw anger spread across his face and something else. Regret. ‘It is not true. I did not deceive…’

  ‘That it was Gabriel who left you there at the monastery. And he has deceived your family. First that he convinced your father you would be safe, he has betrayed your father by promising to watch you at the monastery and keep you away from the castle.’

  ‘I had no choice. I guaranteed nothing. You know that. She was forced out because of the resurrection and healing you convinced her to do. And only then, after witnessing the abuse by men who lust for power, did the castle seem the safest place. I tried to tell her father that she belonged with her own kind but he did not believe me. I went along for his peace of mind.’

  ‘You knew my father personally?’ I asked.

  He paused slightly and dropped his eyes.

  I sat down, my legs so weak I could barely find the strength to stand. On the lounge beside me were the couple’s dress and jackets discarded casually. The sight reminded me that they had shared much together, and the stark realisation they were still man and wife.

  ‘My parents…’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Where are they?’

  ‘Far from here.’

  ‘Why?’

  He sat down beside me closely and took my hands in his, his expression pleading.

  ‘I promised your father that I would always watch over you and I have honoured that. There is so much to tell you but now is not the time. We will go somewhere else and I will explain everything.’

  Blood tears pooled on the inside of his eyes and I reached up to touch his face.

  Arianne stepped forward frustrated that she was momentarily forgotten.

  ‘It is not all, my young friend,’ she said. ‘Did you also know that Emil still lives, that Gabriel spirited you away under false pretences?’

  Gabriel stood up at this. ‘Arianne, we agreed for her sake!’

  I was still not over the shock of learning of my father and placed my hands to block my ears. Gabriel went to comfort me but I pushed him away. It was then I felt a slighter arm around my waist, an arm that had given me so much comfort as a young child and I turned and put my head on her shoulder.

  ‘That’s right my dear,’ she said. ‘It is all too much for you.’ She stroked my forehead as she used to, and suddenly I was missing her and crying like I have not done before. She was the only mother I ever knew.

  ‘Do not trust her,’ said Gabriel. ‘It is a trick to make you hate me. She has her own designs you see, and she is not the human you knew.’

  Arianne pulled away from me and let out a shrill laughter. I backed up suddenly frightened by these people, now strangers.

  ‘You would trust this man who led you from your one true love so that he could have you for himself. He wants us all to himself, Lilah.’

  ‘That is a lie Arianne!’ He pushed her to one side and she stumbled. The humiliation made her face contort with rage.

  He held my wrist too tightly, afraid to let go. With my other arm I covered my face to hide from him. ‘Lilah, please…’ he whispered. ‘Everything I have done has been for you. I read Emil’s thoughts that night I sent you into the house to Evie. His feelings towards you had changed after his brother had…’ He could not finish the word. ‘He was going to send you away. He would have waited a few days then paid you a small sum. You had been touched by his brother. He was not going to keep you there. The only way for you to leave so that I could end all your hurt was to tell you he was dead. I am not without heart. I am not meant to heal but I kept him alive – I did it for you.’

  ‘Small compensation,’ said Arianne sarcastically.

  ‘Get out!’

  ‘This is my home now,’ she returned.

  I felt closed in by both of them as if I might be crushed, so great were the forces in that room.

  I backed towards the door as Gabriel stepped closer to me.

  ‘Gabriel, did you know what Lewis did with the witches who do not wish for the change?’

  His silence was my answer.

  ‘I would have honoured the promise to your father to protect you. I would not have allowed it. You have to believe that.’

  ‘Yet you didn’t try to save the others.’

  ‘I did not agree with it but it is not my role to make such decisions. I have tried in my own way over the years to stop the practice, by not revealing the whereabouts of certain witches who do not wish to be found. Do not leave, I beg you, Lilah.’

  I looked into his eyes but my eyes were so clouded with my own tears.

  ‘Do not come near me. There is no relationship between us, Gabriel. How can there be anything based on lies.’

  I turned then and ran deep into the forest thick with haze. I did not look back. I ran until the fall from the sky became so heavy that I collapsed under the weight of it. At first the frigid air seemed to crush my chest and breathing became harder. I shivered and then little by little the pain in my fingers and toes began to wane and a measure of peace came over me, knowing that my troubles might soon be over.

  I was only partially conscious when I felt arms encircle and lift me from the safety of my burrow of snow. I smelled the familiar scent of frankincense on his garments. If I had the strength I would have asked to be left there but I found none. I slept then with a burning fever and would not wake for several days.

  Gabriel

  I feared that I had made too many wrong decisions. I was not what a strigoi should be. Loyalty was the first word I learnt when I changed and perhaps Lewis had been right when he said I floated with the breeze to suit myself, breaking many of those ancient codes that had held our covens together.

  Discussion of these codes among other matters was he
ld at coven meetings. It was important that we learnt of those in power who may affect our security and longevity, and learn of other kings and conquerors, and influences across our lands.

  We had consorted with many royal members over the years. So many of our own kind had sat on the throne as the King or the Vivoide of Transylvania, only to fake their own deaths when the time came but not before securing an heir to the throne who would protect our interests. There had been moments of failure and we had come to a point in our history when the royal lines would be tested.

  We were not the only coven in kingdoms across the lands. Many shared similar incidences of code breakers and discovery. Some of these covens were our allies but there were others whose followers were jealous of our power and stability. Some covens were run by weaker minded souls who did not control their flock, or by the reborn indiscriminate with their feeding. Although we did not always agree, our coven was fortunate to have Lewis who put our safety and discretion above all else.

  Though there was an obligation to attend these meetings of the strigoi, it was best for all that I stayed away from the castle. Lewis no longer took me into his confidence. But this was not the only reason for my avoidance. I had never experienced rejection before, and being too close to the castle reminded me of my stupidity for choosing another who was not what she first appeared.

  A hand touched my shoulder. It was small and firm.

  ‘Are you coming?’

  It was my wife who beckoned me for our hunt. I witnessed much cruelty applied to her victims, something I neither liked nor was able to control, and which left me questioning my own purpose and that of my kind.

  Arianne was by my side, day and night, and while she no longer held a place in my heart, we learnt to co-exist fuelled by my responsibilities towards her.

  Lewis was right when he foresaw that my time of flirtatious frivolity would come to an end. I was trapped.

  PART TWO

  Chapter 13

  Lilah

  We watched the last snow falling softly to the ground and vanish, my daughter marvelling at the spectacle as if it was magic. She was bright and happy but stubborn and single minded also. There was a side to her much like her father, and to my dismay, born a witch as they all are from a union such as ours.

  I did not believe the histories, as Lewis asserted, that witches were born of strigoi. I believed other theories that strigoi forces were born of fallen angels and that witches were another of God’s creatures only meant to heal. Fallen angels were given the title of the undead who stole the blood of witches to make them stronger, combining their skills and stealing human forms until new miscreants emerged – the strigoi.

  Oleander would not fall victim to such design. My plan, though grand, was to right history and, should I come upon such enlightenment, all reborn strigoi would be returned to their former selves. The first step in my plan would be to escape.

  I had one final condition upon which I wed Lewis: that after several years of marriage I would meet my parents. He had agreed and the time had arrived for him to honour our bargain.

  Sunlight broke through the gloom reaching down her long graceful arms to melt the frost and coax the buds to sprout and conceal their barren stalks with colour.

  Spring and summer were safer seasons for travelling as the strigoi were not so spritely in the heat and would not venture too far south; the same direction I would one day travel, to leave the castle for good. Lewis had constructed a gated courtyard in the grounds where I could read and play with my daughter alone. In summertime, the courtyard blossomed with tulips and roses, and Oleander would hitch her skirts and dangle her feet in the rock pond. This place, which seemed to catch all the sunshine, was my sanctuary and I would often go to read, write and reflect while Oleander enjoyed the fresh air and freedom outside the oppressive walls of the castle.

  Although the breeze still carried a wintry bite that morning, I had brought Oleander outside to distance ourselves from the many strigoi who strolled the castle hallways to attend their meeting. It was forbidden for a strigoi to touch or hurt a witch as they were considered as worthy as the strigoi, but I knew, as nature and history had shown me, that rules could easily be broken.

  Giorgio, however, was a strigoi different from the rest and someone with whom I spent much time: tall and lanky with a pleasant bookish countenance, and without the same predatory glare of some of the strigoi. We shared an appreciation of the garden and he amused me while we sat together sometimes making jest of his own eccentricities; such as his interest in poetry, and preference for clothes so old they were threadbare in places. Georgio was always courteous to the human staff without a hint of condescension and had the unique ability to gain anyone’s trust; human, witch or strigoi.

  I did not have fear of him as I did with others and he would often play silly word games with Oleander. From my window I would watch many groups of strigoi leave on foot for their hunts, and Giorgio was rarely with them. As an elder he fed less and seemed less affected by the sight of blood. I sensed he was not a particular favourite of Lewis – the reasons unknown since Lewis kept much to himself – but he did see Georgio’s merit and kept him close.

  I studied hard in those years exploring subjects on nature and history but in particular searching all scripts, incantations and methods on the reincarnation of humans and animals. These ancient doctrines bound in skin, seemingly older than the world itself, suggested that the dead would return to their earthly life without issue; though in many instances, they were accompanied by spirits from the underworld who had died violently or those rejected by heaven. The writings referred to heaven as a place to reflect on, past and present, and watch over creation objectively in a tranquil meditative existence. Those who were not accepted would wander aimlessly around graveyards, watching and waiting for witches to use their dark arts to bring the buried back to life. I wondered then about the girl I had cured and if that were true about the wandering spirits, whether she had been one of the lucky ones. Should the time arise to perform such an act again, I would have the knowledge to fend off those hopeless spirits if indeed they did exist.

  I experimented on the rats from the cellar to observe their behaviours and recorded those animals I brought back to life. Some came back much like their previous state yet others returned in an altered state: voracious and destructive.

  Some returned disoriented, as if from a long sleep, but ultimately using instincts they had prior to their demise.

  My journal was filled with notes taken from those ancient books in Lewis’s library. Lewis was unaware of my book and indulged my research occupation. He did not know just how much I had gathered on matters of curing and other deeds, with sketches of various plants and recipes for potions. Nor that I had copied those recordings he thought hidden; of failed reversal practices of the change from strigoi to witch. These offered the possibility of expanding and improving upon the weaknesses of previous methods to one day offer hope to strigoi, like Claude and Arianne, who might no longer have the urge to kill.

  During this period, many strange visions appeared in my dreams: of fire, wars and earthquakes and the deaths of certain humans in the villages far away from us. I began recording these also. Such information could prove useful.

  Lewis generously provided a basement room from which to conduct my various experiments. He believed I was testing herbs and healing potions on sick animals only, and though he often commented that such practices were both time wasteful and unusual, he humoured my private time, perhaps pleased that such occupation relieved any chance for despondence or boredom.

  One night, I had carried Oleander with me to my room and after locking the door behind me, I placed her to sleep in a cot beside my work table. Though Lewis would not allow harm to come to his daughter it gave me peace of mind to keep her by my side, especially around the time of the full moon.

  This day, I was studying my specimen, who had revived in a somewhat placid form, when I sensed someone behind me. I could
not tell how long Neve had been standing there and whether she had used her magic to pick the lock.

  Neve had passed through the change to become a strigoi, but her late middling years showed in the lines around her eyes, and knowing that she was vain, she would need to sleep to renew her youth.

  ‘You are not supposed to be here.’

  ‘You avoid the strigoi. You think you are above us all and you have somehow bewitched our master. I thought it was time we spoke. Several of my witch friends wish for the change but Lewis has refused them, saying they do not have the strength to receive the gifts. I find that hard to believe. I think it is because of you he did not offer the gift.’

  ‘Those matters are for my husband.’

  Neve had never liked me. She was envious and once had hopes for Lewis’s attentions. I had pushed those dreams aside. I had heard from Irene that she lay crying for days after our wedding and threatened to burn herself to ash if she could not have him to herself. Then Lewis had called her into his library and they had spoken for many hours. After that she became a strigoi. Since that day she has been subdued. I do not think it was all her choice and I felt a mixture of pity and wariness towards her for it had also been her intention to bear a child before the change. Though, I believed with my witch’s sense that she was long past child-bearing years anyway.

  She did not have any family to recognise her, abandoned like me in a busy town and taken in by meat sellers and, from a very young age, set to toil in their workrooms. She had run away and learned to live alone, discovering her craft. Her visions had led her to the castle.

  ‘Your daughter is not like you. I can read her.’

  ‘My daughter has nothing to do with you.’

  ‘She will make a great strigoi one day. Breeding is not in her plans.’

  ‘You make up stupid stories. Now get out.’

  ‘I can see things. I am not so powerful but there are some things I know.’

  Neve stood there watching Oleander and I took a step between her gaze and that of my sleeping daughter for her closeness was a violation.