“I don’t know. They had no one. No witness. Nothing.” He paused. “My dad’s gun. Me finding them. The change in my father’s life insurance not long before—that I knew nothing about.”
My stomach rolled when he said that. Money was motive for everything in this world. I hated it! Sometimes, I wonder if that’s why Mom left. Dad had nothing to offer her. For as long as time, people killed for the sake of money. Had Kieran done that?
His eyes screamed at me to believe him. I didn’t know what to believe. I wondered what it was that had caused this sudden break with him…his utilizing therapy as it should be. Maybe there was something to being in a more natural environment. To not being in a room with the door closed. Maybe there was something to sacrificing your ethics and possibly your job to help someone.
I didn’t know what to do. I only stared at him. If he ever revealed to me that he had killed them, I was mandated by law to report it. Could I do that to Kieran? My breathing began to accelerate as anxiety wrapped ahold of me. A wave of nausea even washed over me. I was panicking at the thought of him being a killer, the thought of not ever being with him again and the thought of losing him. I did the only thing a top-notch therapist would do: I lunged at him, smashing my mouth to his.
Chapter 33—Kieran
Doc’s mouth hit mine with such force she knocked me backward. But, the taste of wine in her mouth and the pressure of her lips quickly brought me out of the fog I was under. Her tongue, typically so timid and shy, searched frantically for mine. When she found it, a soft moan echoed up her throat and my arms constricted tightly around her. It seemed the tighter I held her, the more her body melded into mine, and her kiss softened until our mouths were one.
Her response caught me off guard. My heart was fucking scared she’d run. In her life, when the going got tough, she was removed from the situation. I wondered how much she’d learned to deal with situations. Everyone had a fight or flight in them. I…had fight. I worried she had flight. If this meant she was staying, I’d give her what she wanted. Talking was highly overrated. My chest rumbled in laughter only for a second with that thought because I knew the fight that comment would cause.
Every part of me wanted to take her right here on the beach. As my eyes scanned the dark beach, I spotted others walking. I didn’t give two fucks who saw me…but I did care who might see her. Even with my arms around her, a shiver rippled through her and I didn’t want her to be cold. I was certain I’d given them enough time to take care of the bedroom. So, I intentionally slowed the kiss and sat up with her in my arms.
“Come on,” I said kicking sand over the fire but not letting go of her hand.
She swayed a bit and I wanted her more sober than the last time or I wouldn’t do it.
“You OK?” I asked.
She nodded with her mouth slightly open. Her lips were already swollen from the force of her kiss.
I left the blanket, wine and glasses. I could come back for that…I was only taking her—in more ways than one. Relief, that I’d be able to be with her again, settled through me.
We didn’t talk on the way up to the house. She simply held the back of my shorts as we walked. I could see the soft light flickering from the bedroom as the curtains blew in the breeze, and a slight smile touched my lips. Once on the patio, I opened the screen door for her and she stepped in.
She was so stinkin’ cute as she moved aside, unsure what to do. I can’t believe I didn’t see the virginity thing before. As beautiful as she was…as confident as she was…she was shy as shit when it came to any type of affection. There was, no doubt, incredible desire in her eyes, but it was an innocent desire. She wanted me to take charge—show her the way, and I had absolutely no problem with that. I was that guy.
As my eyes searched hers, I brushed my knuckles down her cheek and her eyes closed. It was then that I cradled her in my arms and started toward the bedroom.
When we rounded the corner, it was even more than I expected. Candles burned on nearly every surface and the sound of waves crashing echoed through the screen of the window.
“Who did this?” she asked, surprised and breathless.
I didn’t answer, simply walked to the bed and allowed her feet to rest on the floor. A little pucker formed between her eyes when her brows lowered. Something was on her mind. I didn’t want her to think…I wanted her to feel. I leaned in to kiss her and she stopped me.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked so quietly I barely heard.
“Doing what?” I asked, opting to kiss her neck since she kept her mouth from me. She arched her neck back, giving me full access. I hadn’t given a girl a hickey in years but I wanted this girl marked. Marked as mine.
“All of this. Why? We could have been together at your place.”
I shrugged. “Our place,” I corrected. “And I wanted tonight to be special.”
“Why?”
“Because you deserve it.”
She put her hands on my chest. “Why, Kieran?”
I’d been more honest and forthcoming with her than I’d been with myself for the past two years.
“Because I care about you,” I said, swallowing the nerves that accompanied the words.
She looked down but I lifted her chin with my finger. I needed her gray eyes in that moment. When she started to shake her head, I braced myself for the words I was afraid to hear.
“Kieran,” she said placing her palms on my chest. “You’re confused.”
“I’m not confused.”
This time she nodded. “It’s not your fault. This is my fault more than yours.”
“Shut up,” I said mashing my mouth to hers. She kissed me but I knew she was thinking.
She pushed against my chest. “Kieran. I’m serious. It’s called transference.”
“Doc, stop!”
“No. That’s why I’m handing you over to Dale. I can’t treat you anymore.”
My blood simmered and from my knees I glared at her for those words. “Treat me? Is that what this is? Are you ‘treating’ me?” My hands tightened on her shoulders and I noticed her cowering and I hated that more. I shook her shoulders to get her attention. “Listen to me,” I ordered.
Her rounded eyes met mine.
“I would never hurt you. Don’t ever cower to my touch. I’m angry but I’d rather die than raise a hand to you. Do you understand that?”
She nodded but her stubborn jaw was set.
“We’ll get back to Dale later. Do you want me?”
Her eyes instinctively closed. “Kieran,” she sighed.
“Answer me,” I begged.
“It’s called erotic transference. It’s where you think you have feelings and you think you want a sexual relationship with your therapist but really you don’t…and Kieran. It’s OK. This is my responsibility. I allowed this to cross the line and…”
“Shut the hell up and kiss me.”
“Kieran. If I lose my job, I will…”
“Damn it, Doc. I’d support you for a while until you found a new one.”
Instantly, she covered her face with her hands. “See! You think you have feelings for me.”
A shitty little grin touched my lips. “And you have feelings for me or you wouldn’t have had sex with me,” I said.
She shook her head. “Kieran. It was sex. Just sex. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
I knew she was lying. She wouldn’t look at me. You don’t wait 23 years to lose your virginity then give it to some guy who you don’t care about and who could cost you your job. I wondered if she’d lie further.
“So. What happened between us meant nothing?” I asked, knowing, waiting for her to lie.
“I won’t say it meant nothing. But you’re making it a big deal. You yourself said a player’s gotta play. You tell me, you sleep with girls all the time. You do it then walk away. Did it mean nothing?”
I nodded immediately. “It’s always meant nothing…until you.”
Her brows rose higher than I�
��d ever seen. “Perfect! That’s right! I’m the one girl you’ve ever had conversation with. The feelings that you have are based on us being forced together by a court order,” she said, and I stood and walked away for a minute.
“Bullshit! You challenge me. Over and over again. You point out my flaws. You listen. You make me want to be a better man.”
I took three measured steps toward her, running my hands through my hair. “Do I mean anything to you?” I spat out angrily.
Her gray eyes flickered up to mine and I could see that I did…but she wasn’t willing to say.
“I think, …”she started.
“If I don’t, then why after twenty-three years of holding on to your virginity would you give it to someone like me?” I threw it out there.
My words didn’t seem to surprise her. Her shoulders slumped maybe in defeat and her eyes stared vacantly into mine. My girl who was so full of thoughts and advice and wisdom…had nothing. I had proudly rendered her speechless…thank God!
“Doc. Your kiss is hungry. Your touch craves. Your eyes hold a yearning…a need. I missed the cues of…your innocence and I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have…”
She lifted her chin, holding her head high. “You regret it?” she asked with a slight flare to her nostrils. Such a stubborn thing.
“I regret that I didn’t pick up on it. I regret that I didn’t know. I regret that I fucked you like I did. Tonight, I will make that right. Tonight I will show you how that should have been done.”
Her chest began to heave up and down; her eyelids became heavy. I wasn’t sure if she was going to cry or what. Then her lips parted and she adjusted her stance. Everything her body was saying was…come to me…so I did, raking my fingers through her hair then pressing my lips to hers. Just like she liked. A series of soft, shorter pecks, before fully taking possession of her mouth. While kissing her fully and deeply, I breathed air into her so she didn’t need to stop. Then without warning, her body began to go lax so I took the opportunity to lay her on the bed. Wrapping one arm around her waist, my other arm lifted behind her knees then I gently placed her on the bed.
“Kieran…” she whispered as I nuzzled my nose between her shoulder and her neck. As I traced my nose up to her ear, she arched her neck, forcing her breasts out and I had to remind myself to take it slow.
“Yes?” I said into her ear and a tremor shook her body. I smiled.
“Yes, I do want you,” she whimpered. “So badly.”
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Stay focused.
I brushed kisses over her cheeks, eyelids, nose and forehead then lingered over her mouth.
“Tell me I’m right,” I said, our lips inches from each other.
“Right about what,” she panted and I could smell the wine from earlier.
“I’m the only one. I’m the only one who has ever taken you.”
Her hesitant eyes darted back and forth between my eyes, to my mouth and then back to my eyes.
“Yes, Kieran. I waited twenty-three years…because I never trusted before. People always let me down. People always hurt me. Don’t hurt me.”
In that moment, my life became crystal fucking clear. I sat upright with those words and I grabbed the back of my shirt and tugged it up and over my head. Then I pulled her upright and her little arms jetted up, and I loved that she welcomed me to remove what she wore. Her dress easily came off and she lay back down.
“Uh-uh. Back up,” I said, and she smiled at me rising back up. I reached around and unfastened her bra. “Now you can lay back,” I approved.
Her strawberry-colored hair fanned out beautifully over the pillow and she had that fuck-me-now look on her face. She’d have to wait. The white lacy underwear were perfect for tonight. Virginal.
I pecked her lips. “One more question,” I said. “Then I’m taking you again.”
“What?”
“The other night, I made you come. Was that a first too?”
“No. I’ve done that before. Just not with a guy,” she whispered and blood invaded her cheeks.
Sweet Jesus. It was going to take every ounce of willpower I could muster not to bend her over and fuck her right now. But with those words, I knew a guy had never gone down on her and made her come. I was going to be THAT guy too!
Chapter 34—Megan
I knew Kieran well enough to know that given the information I’d given him, he’d want to possess every part of me. He was a possessive man…he’d smashed Jared’s face on the bar without knowing who he was. If I was going to give myself to him, I had to be all-in. I’d never been all-in before and the thought frightened me. But as he inched his way down my body, stopping at the triangle at the base of my neck, then tracing his tongue along my collarbone, I shivered with anticipation. His strong hand gently caressed my breast while his thumb teased my nipple. The only way my body knew to respond was to arch into his touch and when I did, he lowered his mouth over my breast and his tongue replaced his thumb.
My hands ran through his hair, wanting to hold his mouth there forever. I whimpered out loud as much as I tried to hold back. When he got done with one breast, he moved to the other but his thumb would always replace his mouth on the other breast. He was a very thorough fellow.
As his mouth continued its assault on my breast, his hand moved south and my lower half clenched with expectation. When his hand broke the barrier of my panties, my breathing became uneven. His hand moved lower until his finger found its way to my entrance. His mouth still deliciously attacking my breast. Then, he pushed inside of me with one finger.
“Aaah,” I moaned. The once injured flesh seemed to have healed and I welcomed his touch.
“Jesus, Doc.”
I couldn’t respond.
“I’m going to taste you and I’m going to make you come,” he warned, and I thought maybe I would just by his words.
His finger easily moved in and out of me and that’s all I cared about. It didn’t matter to me that with his other hand he worked my panties off. Once they left my feet, I consciously allowed my legs to fall open hoping he would take me. But first, he positioned himself between my legs, kissing near my belly button then slowly trekking south, tracing a line with his tongue—establishing a border of sorts. Welcome to KieranLand
Knowing we had these plans, I had shaved all but a little hair and I prayed it was everything he hoped it was. His tongue softly delved into me then slid upward until he found my sweet spot, where he began an assault of a different kind, while his finger set a pace of its own inside of me.
“Kieran. That’s too much. I’m not going to last,” I cried as a warmth pooled in the pit of my stomach. The ache was building beyond what I could stand. With his other hand, he rolled my nipple between his finger and thumb and I cried out. Oh God. The pleasure he brought was unequivocally the most gratifying feeling I’d ever experienced.
“Please, Kieran…” I begged.
Then he stopped and I gasped for breath at the agonizing absence of his tongue. “Megan. I’m going to give you this right now but next time, you will beg.” His tongue touched me. “And you will plead.” His tongue tenderly drew circles again. “And then, if I decide, I will make you come.”
My body squirmed to thoughts of his erotic words and I’d never ached so badly to where I hurt.
“Please…” I whimpered.
It was then that his tongue touched me again and his fingers, one inside me and two on my breast, began their torment again. The warmth inside me building and stealing my breaths to where they only came in short bursts until suddenly, I was there. And when he groaned, the vibration from his throat along with every spot he touched…threw me over the edge. I cried out as my hips arched up to meet him, allowing waves of pleasure to completely ripple through me. Then, I opened my eyes to his lips treating my hipbones to little pecks as I exhaustedly melted into the mattress.
He rested on his knees just staring at me. His smoldering brown eyes found my gray ones and the desire in his brought me right back
to where I started.
“I want to taste you,” I worked up the courage to say, blood racing to my face. I’d never tasted a guy. I’d never done anything, really. And I’d certainly never said it out loud.
His eyes hooded even more and his mouth parted. His Adam’s apple slowly moved out then back in as he got to his feet and started unfastening his shorts.
“Not tonight,” he said. “I want to be inside of you.”
This time I swallowed. “Please.”
His shorts fell to his feet and he looked sexier than shit standing there in his boxer briefs, though it annoyed me that the little band around the top read Ralph Lauren. I wondered how much those set him back. Then as quick as that those were down too.
Chapter 35—Kieran
She wanted to taste me. I’d never had a girl say it like that before. Hell, they typically just dropped to their knees. But I wasn’t going to let her blow me…not tonight. I wanted to show her that I could give myself to her tenderly and not pound the shit out of her.
She was still laying on the bed…completely bared to me and exceptionally beautiful in the flickering candlelight. The way she looked at me as I stepped back toward the bed made me question if she had ever done this before either. As I knelt on the bed, her mouth opened like a baby bird wanting fed.
“Only for a second,” I said, as if I wasn’t allowing more for her sake. It was 100 percent for mine…I was afraid I’d maybe blow her head off with the power of what was brewing inside of me in a matter of five seconds.
She nodded and with my thumb, I pushed it down toward her mouth. The warmth of her mouth and her tongue easily trumped any feeling I’d ever experienced. And as she raised her head off the pillow to take me, I supported the back of her head.
A full hiss escaped my lips as her tongue moved over the top, then she tried to take me deeper. Even though she didn’t show it, I felt her gag reflex tighten and I pulled away.
“It’s OK,” I whispered, stroking up her cheek. “Another time.” God, I hoped.
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