She nodded and I lay down next to her…kissing her.
“Megan,” I whispered. “This…is unfamiliar for me. I’ve never gone slow. I’ve never cared.”
Her fingers trailed the length of my face. “It’s OK.”
Not wanting to wait a second longer, I gently positioned myself between her legs and she spread them to accommodate my size. Missionary had never been my favorite…mainly because I didn’t like staring into someone’s eyes. But I could control my movements better this way.
“Kieran. I’m not on the pill,” she said quietly, and with an anxious expression.
HOLY FUCK!!! In 26 years, I’d NEVER forgotten the raincoat for the little fella. Never. Never. Never. What was wrong with me?
I leaned down and grabbed a condom from my wallet in my shorts. When I pulled it from the wrapper, I glanced over at her and she watched every move I made.
I repositioned myself over her and I could tell she was a bit nervous—if only from the trembling alone. Just simply at her entrance, warmth radiated from her. And as I felt myself slowly move into truly one of the snuggest places I’d ever been, she closed her eyes.
“Please look at me,” I whispered, and her eyes lazily opened back up. It was then that I gradually and with great care pushed into her, sliding in perfectly. Her eyes rolled back as she gasped for breath. The moment that I fantasized about.
I covered my mouth with hers. I’d breathe for her if she needed me to. My body surrounded hers like a cocoon and no one had ever fit with me so perfectly. The pleasurable feeling that grew in my groin now spread a warmth in my chest, and as my slow, deliberate movements continued, it was my breath that was stolen.
“Megan,” I moaned, closing my eyes, and I rested my forehead on hers.
“Open your eyes,” she said.
I couldn’t help but smile at her words. Watching her face…her expressions …wow. Knowing what I did pleased her brought me complete satisfaction. I wondered if she felt the same.
I wanted this condom off. Knowing she’d been with no other man. Knowing I’d never not worn latex. I wanted to feel all of her.
“Aaaah,” she cried out and my eyes sprang open. Unintentionally, my thrusts had quickened.
“I’m sorry,” I said, kissing her lips though not fully.
“Don’t…don’t apologize. I want.” She hiccupped a breath. “All of you.”
I adjusted my position where I was coming in at a different angle. “Megan. I don’t want to hurt you.” God, she felt so good.
Her hips arched toward me and I’d never seen such a beautiful face so full of want…of need.
“Mr. Scott,” she said with a professional tone and I gave her a half-hearted smile. “Hurt me.”
I would never hurt her. “Megan.”
“Don’t. Don’t think. Just do it.”
She won. I pulled completely out and had her roll over onto her stomach.
“Lift your hips, baby,” I said and I slid a pillow beneath her hips, giving the perfect arch to her body. FUCK! She was breathtaking. I wedged myself between her legs and slowly entered her.
“Mmmm,” she moaned, and watching her body squirm was mouthwatering.
I slid my hand beneath her and started rubbing over her favorite spot with my finger, causing her to arch further up…allowing me to go even deeper. Her fingers dug into the sheet, grabbing fistfuls of the cotton.
“Megan. I’m going to come and I want you to come with me,” I said hoarsely into her ear and applying a bit more pressure with my finger. Her body pushed back against mine, seeking the pleasure I’d provide.
“Oh, Kieran,” she cried out. Her hands fisted in the sheets, her body angled to where my thrusts were as deep as they could be. “Ahhh,” she cried and I felt it…her come around me. Her inside greedily pulsing around me, and that’s all it took for me too.
A primal, animalistic sound came from my throat. One I didn’t recognize. And I finished trying not to hurt her but enjoying every last pulse of my own. My body relaxed…collapsed to her side. Her face turned the other way and I breathed the scent of her hair.
Neither of us moved. Neither of us spoke. Not until I felt her shiver did I grab the covers on the corner of the bed and pull them over us. If conversation wasn’t what she wanted, I could do that. She slept peacefully, and I as I nestled down next to her, my heart swelled.
A burning smell awakened me and I sat upright. The candles were one by one extinguishing on their own and the smoke billowed up and accumulated in the room. I probably should have blown them out. I rolled over to find my girl but Doc wasn’t there. I sat more upright and she wasn’t in the room at all.
I slid some jeans on and walked barefoot to find her. She was absolutely nowhere. The clock read 2:15 a.m. Her phone was still on the kitchen table. My heart pounded in my chest and a panic attack was setting in.
I jogged to the patio. Shit! Where could she be? With both hands, I grabbed fistfuls of my hair and pulled, staring out at the dark beach and the roaring ocean. Lightning flashed over the Pacific and that’s when I spotted her, I think—on the beach, sitting. What the hell was she doing being out there alone in the middle of the night? Without thinking, I took off.
Chapter 36—Megan
The ocean seemed angry—full of fury. When we walked this beach earlier, waves playfully fell over each other in a methodical way—soothing and beautiful to watch. But now, with the lightning flickering in the sky and the thunder rumbling in the distance, the waves seemed more in battle with each other than in sync. I’d never seen such a thing and sat in awe of Mother Nature’s creation.
I wondered how Kieran realized I was a virgin and I couldn’t help but question if my experience or lack of was fairly obvious. He said he missed the cues…I thought I’d covered pretty well. After thinking about things, I think Kieran had his own explaining to do.
“Do you know I could rape you right now?”
His voice startled me and my neck snapped toward him towering behind me. Oh holy hell…he wore only a pair of jeans.
“It probably wouldn’t be rape, Mr. Scott.”
He sat next to me. “Doc. I’m not kidding. You can’t sit on a beach at 2 a.m. by yourself.”
“Why? It’s beautiful out here and I know we will go back today. Sleep is overrated when you’re at a place like this.” I shivered.
He positioned himself behind me and just sitting back against his chest brought me warmth, and having his arms come around me was whipped cream on top.
“There’s a storm coming. We’re going to get wet in a few.”
“I’m already wet,” I teased.
“Mmmm,” he moaned next to my ear. “If you’re already wet, what have you been thinking about out here?”
“Well, you know the cues you missed about my…lack of experience?”
He chuckled. “Yes.”
“I need your honesty now.”
He kissed my cheek but then pulled back a little. “Doc. I’m always honest. Probably cruelly so at times.”
“Good. This is a simple question. Only requires a simple yes or no.”
“My kind of question,” he said, rubbing his nose against my ear.
I took a deep breath, already knowing the answer, but I really needed confirmation.
“It’s all yours, isn’t it?”
“I’m not following.”
“The Harley, the Porsche, the house…it’s all yours.”
His body stiffened against me and he released a long-held-breath. “Yes.”
I slowly nodded, trying to come to grips with his confirmation.
“So, you aren’t really an accountant?”
“Yes. I am.”
“Is it the life insurance money from your parents?” I asked nervously.
“No.”
I let out a sigh. He was intentionally being evasive. “Your parents had money?”
“Yes.”
“Like a lot of money or a lot a lot.”
He let out an e
xasperated breath. “Does it matter, Megan?”
He never used my real name except during sex, and that was only when he was caught up in the mood. So, I took it as a serious question.
“It matters to me,” I said softly. The threatening storm inched its way closer.
His forehead rested on my shoulder. Then surprisingly, he stood and walked toward the water. The unexpected cold fell over me.
“Kieran. Please answer me,” I semi-shouted just so he could hear me.
“Why?” he yelled back. “So I can be reminded how much you hate rich people? How all of them are rich pricks?”
I rose to my feet, only wearing his shirt that I threw on before I left.
“Kieran. I already thought you were a poor prick,” I teased with a smile.
His chest moved up and down rapidly. His brows were furrowed. What was wrong with him?
“I can be a prick. No doubt.”
Mist started falling and I’d never seen a man look as sexy as he did with his jeans resting low on his hips…barefooted…shirtless and now wet.
“I can’t believe I didn’t see it. You hid it well.”
“Yeah, well, you assumed a lot too.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and yes, sexier was possible.
“So this house is yours?”
“Yes.”
“And the Porsche?”
“Yes.”
“And the rent you were going to charge me?”
He smiled as mist turned into a steady rain. “It would have gone into an account for you.”
“Yes…but why’d you even tell me I had to pay?”
“Because you wouldn’t have stayed otherwise.”
That was true. I wouldn’t have. His insight surprised me.
“You’re a bouncer. Why?”
He shrugged blinking away the water. “Wink. Todd. All the guys had my back when my parents died. They supported me. When others tried and convicted me without hesitation. They were there. They’re my boys.”
I would always love those ‘boys’ too. Those friends, that I didn’t have (except for Ruthie), were invaluable.
“I understand. So tell me, seems we agree on the prick part…but how rich are you?”
He stared at me through squinted eyes as rain accumulated on his lashes.
“A lot a lot.”
My heart stopped. He was the epitome of what I’d grown to hate. But I didn’t hate him…not even close. I knew tears were forming in my eyes and I prayed he couldn’t tell. I had one final question.
“Did you buy the car for me?”
“Yes.”
That one word…that one answer brought the tears and I buried my face in my palms.
Suddenly, he was there with his arms around me. My teeth started chattering the harder I cried. And when a crash of thunder echoed all around us, he turned his back to me.
“Get on,” he ordered and I jumped onto his back. He ran through the wet sand easier than I would have, especially with the added weight of me on his back. My cheek rested against his shoulder.
When we got to his patio, a shower nozzle stood next to it. He pulled a chain and water came out, washing us off; he paid special attention to our feet. Then once on the patio, he set me down and wrapped his arms around me again.
“I never lied to you. I just…was scared to tell you.”
My nose was swollen from crying and I was embarrassed for being emotional.
“You bought me a car,” I restated, still stunned.
“Yes,” he responded so matter-of-factly.
“Why?”
“You were late. When I took you home and saw where you lived, I didn’t want you staying there without reliable transportation. I didn’t want you staying there at all. I worried about you every day. I thought about you every day.”
Wow…Kieran can talk.
“You thought about me every day?”
He nodded. “Every day that ends in Y. Are we done talking yet?
This question surprised me. I shrugged. “No. Why?”
He moved closer and the backs of his hands moved over the tops of both my breasts. “Because your nipples are talking to me and I’m having a hard time concentrating on your words.”
I glanced down at his shirt totally stuck to my skin. Then my lips twitched as much as I didn’t want them to. I was angry with him.
“What are they saying?” I asked.
“They’re saying help us…we’re cold. We love your mouth and it would be warmer there.”
He didn’t laugh. He didn’t smile. It was as if this was the most serious conversation we’d ever had. So, I slid the heavy, wet shirt over my head and dropped it on the floor.
“You should do as they say,” I suggested.
The sly, shitty, sexy-ass smile that turned me on like crazy crossed his face as he swaggered toward me. He started licking his lips then growled as he threw me over his shoulder.
Chapter 37—Kieran
I woke up before sunrise, which was odd for me but I was sweating my ass off. Then I realized my own personal furnace was cozied up next to me. I didn’t care if I became dehydrated from sweating, I wasn’t moving.
It had been almost four weeks and I felt as if I’d met my soul mate, and though that scared the living shit out of me, I didn’t want to go. I had never trusted a woman outside of my mother or Kat. Every girl had always been after my money or my body. None had ever given two shits about me. Doc was different. She didn’t know about the money…and she fought damn hard to resist me. I fought harder.
Her body twitched next to mine and I grinned. It had only been about three hours since we last knocked it out. But the little fella was ready to go again. I wanted to please her over and over. Her breaths were deep and steady so I decided to let her rest but then she stirred, slowly, whimpering slightly.
“Kieran,” she groaned softly.
Her thoughts must have been in the same place mine were.
“Hmmm?” I asked.
I was met with silence and I peeked over to see her sleeping. She was dreaming about me? The inexplicable feeling in my chest scared me. I’d fallen too hard, too fast, and for someone who’d never fallen at all…it worried me.
The next time I woke, she was still cuddled up to me but daylight had broken through the darkness. She stared up at me from near my underarm where she lay.
“Good morning,” she said.
“Hey, Doc.”
Her arm rested on my stomach and I liked that. She remained quiet. Doc was never quiet. Even when I wanted her to shut the hell up…she didn’t.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked.
“Nothing really.”
Nothing? That meant something.
“Doc. I know you well enough that there is never nothing going on in that pretty little head.”
She stilled. Quietly thinking. This made my stomach churn.
“I’m scared, Mr. Scott,” she whispered, her gray, innocent eyes flickering up to mine.
“Of?”
“The past three or four days have been the best of my life. And that sounds pathetic, I know, but it’s true. I knew when I made the decision to be with you, what type of life you led. I…knew what it would be to you. And I’m not angry, I promise. But the thought of being with someone besides you…” Her words trailed off and I swear to God, just her simply saying that pissed me off so fucking bad that I slid my hand behind my head. I think I’d kill someone if they touched her.
“Doc. There are things about me that didn’t make sense before. Since you, they’ve started to make sense. I mean, they make sense when I’m with you.”
“Kieran…”
“No wait,” I interrupted. “You’ve asked me to talk for a month. I’m talking. Let me,” I said, nudging her.
She rolled her lips inward.
“You challenge me, Doc. I see who I want to be when I’m with you. I see the best part of me in your eyes. I trust you. I’ve never trusted anyone. Because of the money, I never knew if a g
irl approached because of me or because of the money. So, I shut down. I never gave a girl a chance. And truth be told, I never wanted to. I’d never met a girl who made me want that.”
I lifted her chin and I knew my tone demanded her attention.
“You make me want that. You say things like, ‘I knew what this was to you.’ And no doubt I thought that in the beginning. But things have shifted for me.”
Pulling the sheet up to her chest, she spun around in the bed and sat on her knees, her hair falling to one side.
“Stop there for a minute. Hypothetically speaking. What do you ultimately want?”
“You,” I said with no doubts or hesitations.
She shook her head. “OK. But I mean long-term.”
“You.” My answer remained the same, and she covered her heart.
“OK. But what with me…” she asked.
I swallowed on that one. Was she talking marriage? I slowly shrugged. “I’m not sure. I know that I want to spend time with you. Are you talking marriage…kids?” I asked, my heart beating wildly. Of course I wanted that eventually, I think.
“I can’t have kids, Kieran,” she said staring past me.
Immediately, I sat more upright and yanked her into me, crushing her to my chest. “Why, Doc? What’s happened?”
“What do you mean?” she asked softly, her breath blowing against my skin.
“Were you injured? Is something wrong?” I implored. Maybe it wasn’t my business but if I could pay for a procedure or something to help her, I would. I thought about her carrying my child and a vicious, all-encompassing feeling of protectiveness began to swarm through my veins. I’d never let her out of my sight.
Laying her palms flush with my chest, she pushed me back a bit. “I think you misunderstood. It’s not that I can’t have a baby. I…can’t…”
My eyes darted side to side and she covered her face.
“Megan! Tell me what you’re saying,” I demanded frustratingly.
The gray I’d grown to love in her eyes became murky with tears, and a vise had been cranked around my heart.
“It’s called the generational cycle of abuse,” she whispered as a single tear fell down her cheek, which I swiped away with my thumb. “My father was…is an abuser. That’s passed on to children.” She paused as another tear escaped. “I couldn’t ever risk the possibility of hurting a child,” she cried.
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