Chapter 49—Kieran
The tap on my office door brought my eyes open. Sleep had eluded me for the past week. I’d grown accustomed to having my little furnace snuggled up next to me. It was hotter than hell to have her body intertwined with mine—to wake up with her cheek on my chest, her hair fanned out over my shoulder. But I never wanted to live without it. Throughout my life, I’d never found something I couldn’t walk away from until now. The past seven days ranked up there with the worst seven days of my life. When Mom and Dad were killed, they were gone, there was no bringing them back and the hurt of never having another Mother’s Day or Father’s Day…another Christmas Day or Thanksgiving dinner, was heartbreaking. But this…being without her…I couldn’t go on. Thinking she’d destroy my life if she was with me—complete, utter nonsense.
And this fucked-up belief that she’d hit me. Christ, her fist brushed over my chest; yes it had been in anger or frustration but she brought me no harm. That only fed her fears of being an abuser. I rested my forehead between my thumb and fingers while my elbow rested on the desk.
I’d heard her screaming over the phone to Ruthie. In all our times together, she never screamed—except when she slammed the doors after stripper Penny made her jealous. A slow grin spread over my face. A sweet memory is all that brought me comfort, but as soon as the memory slipped away, the pain was back.
“K?” Bert said at the front of my desk.
I barely brought my head up and my eyes were all that moved when I tried to focus on her. I never heard her come in.
“I need to tell you something,” she said. “I don’t know what it means but it might help.”
“Bert.” It hurt to breathe but I forced myself. “Please sit down,” I suggested pointing at the chair.
“K. You look like shit. Go home. Get some rest. She’ll figure this out.”
After dragging my hands the full length of my face, I stared at her through hollow, empty eyes. “Is that what you came to tell me?
Slowly, she sat in the chair, finally falling into it once she reached a certain point.
“She loves you. I saw the love in her eyes the day she came here even if she was angry.”
“Is that what you came in here to say?” I asked coldly.
Instantly her arthritic finger jetted up and her face hardened. “Don’t you dare take that tone with me boy.”
Resting my elbows on the desk, a mixture of regret and fear consumed me. There weren’t many people I was scared of. Bert was one.
“I’m sorry, Bert. It hurts…to talk about her.”
“I know it does. Wait until you’re married to her for fifty years then she dies before you. Then you’re left with only their memory and the hope that there is an afterlife so that there is just a chance to see them again.”
Betraying me like never before, my eyes filled to the brim and tears slid over. As quickly as possible I swiped them away, pretending to rub my face. “I will silently pray that I go before her.”
“Kieran. My love. Go to her. Pick her up and never let her go.”
“I can’t,” I said shaking my head. “Her best friend told me not to push her. To give her time to work through all this. I promised her. She said that Megan has never had control over her life and she was feeling out of control. This is her way of controlling the situation or some sort of bullshit.”
“Samuel used to say, ‘she has the pussy, she makes the rules,’ and Samuel was a damn smart man.”
I laughed out loud on this feeling, better, albeit momentarily. “Damn, isn’t that the truth.”
“Word,” Bert said and I laughed even harder,
“I love you, Bert. So damn much.”
“Well, you’re not going to love me when I tell you what I know.”
As both our laughter faded, I knew I wasn’t going to like this. “Go on.”
“Promise me you won’t hurt him. Not here. Not today.”
“So, it’s about Walt?”
Her eyes held the answer.
“I overheard him talking in his office late last night. He didn’t have a clue I was here. He was talking to Blake. Megan was in his foster home when she was 16 or 17. He was saying that she wanted him. That she propositioned him. Came on to him by pressing her body up against his and that he rubbed her breasts one night. Felt bad about it and ended up telling his wife. Apparently…”
Before the lies stopped, I found all the energy I’d lacked for the past seven days and I bolted over my desk in one smooth swoop. By my calculations, I was going to have a 45-year-old man pinned to the wall in about seven seconds. Bert’s voiced echoed somewhere behind me but, lost in the moment, I paid it no mind. Blind rage. I’d heard of it before but never experienced it. This was it. Duane saw me dart past his office because he shouted, too. He liked Walt Brown no better than I did.
When I rounded the corner, the fucker had his feet up on his desk—my father’s old desk—laughing about something. When his eyes met the fury in mine, he stopped laughing and his eyes widened…in fear.
“Kieran! Stop!” he shouted holding up a hand to me.
A wicked chuckle worked through my chest as I hurdled on top of his desk and lunged for him…never forgetting that he was nearly twenty years my senior. With one hand, I gripped his neck, shoving him up against the wall. My left jab got him first, then I fired through with a right-handed power shot.
“Kieran. I swear to God, I didn’t do it. I loved your parents,” he said, his eyes not quite focusing.
What the hell? This stopped me in my tracks. My hands fell to my side, my mouth fell open and my brows pulled low in thought for what he’d just said. Walt swung and pain radiated through my jaw as my head spun sideways. FUCK!
“Kieran!” Duane shouted from behind me, and without thinking, I grabbed Walt again.
“That punch was for my satisfaction. This one is for Megan,” I gritted, and landed another blow to his face.
“She came on to me!”
The hit to his stomach should have been harder—“That’s for lying, you sorry piece of shit.” I spat out, following through with an uppercut, “And that was for disrespecting my mother and Kat.”
Suddenly Duane shoved me against the wall chest first; my cheek hit a picture frame and blood spewed onto the wall. There was no way in hell I’d hurt Duane, so I didn’t resist.
“What the hell is going on?” Duane asked in my ear.
Two beefy security officers from the first floor came flying in, eyeballed me then Walt. After I pointed at Walt, who still hadn’t managed to get up after crumpling to the floor, they flanked each side of him.
“Get him out of here,” I hissed, spitting blood.
“Call the police,” Walt muttered, attempting to stand on his wobbly legs.
I took five measured steps toward him and he cowered. “Yes. Please do,” I said in a threatening tone, literally snarling.
His dread-filled eyes met mine and he spit blood at me. “Fuck it. Forget it.”
Breaking free from Duane’s hold, I charged again, gripping his shirt in both my fists. “After the shit you just said about my parents? Oh, the police will be contacted, you no-good prick.”
Ian, one of the security guards, touched my shoulder. “Mr. Scott. Please. With all due respect, let us handle this.”
They literally had to pry my hands off his shirt. I wanted to kill him. Then the frailest of hands touched my bicep.
“Come on, K,” Bert said and I felt bad for not honoring my promise to her.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Duane, did you hear what he said? Did you hear him?”
Duane’s head bobbed up and down. “I did, son. You OK? I didn’t mean to slam you into the wall like that.”
I smiled out the side of my mouth that didn’t hurt. “You’re good. I deserved it.”
After returning to my office, I grabbed my keys, texted Kat about what had just gone down and got the hell out of there.
When I parked my bike at Winks, there was alrea
dy a line of scantily dressed girls squealing as I strode past through the front door. Get a fuckin’ life.
“What the hell happened to you?” Todd asked, the minute he saw me.
I waved off the question. “Hazards of the job. Workman’s comp.”
“Walt?”
I nodded. “He’s gone, though. Long story.”
He handed me a cold one from behind the bar. “You talk to her?”
“No. Where’s Wink?” The beer went down smoother than it should have.
Todd tilted his head to the back room, and I headed back.
“You’re leaving us, aren’t you,” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah. It’s time.”
Wink was sitting at his desk, phone in hand and he looked to be texting.
“You texting?” I asked with a smile.
“Yeah. Carolyn asked me to start,” he said, rolling his eyes, and I only smiled bigger.
“Ah Wink. The power of the pussy,” I laughed, and he tossed the phone on his desk.
“She can wait. But…pretty damn powerful, K. What’s on your mind? And what happened to your face?”
“Long story. Walt’s gone. For good. There’s no turning back.”
Wink nodded. “That’s good. What’s up with your girl?”
I shrugged, trying to act as if I didn’t feel like acid had been poured over me from head to toe…the pain of her not being here was not doable…not livable.
“Ruthie asked me to give her time. And I’m trying but I don’t know how much longer I can give her. She’s been at her dad’s house.”
“With him?” Wink asked, with shock lacing his tone.
“Hell no. He’s out of state for six months. After that, I’m going to bargain a halfway house for another six.”
“She all right with that?”
I shrugged again. “I don’t know.” I stared at Wink, my body numb from feeling. “I love her, Wink.”
He approached me and I didn’t want to be touched, but I had a feeling he was going to. He placed his hands on my shoulders and demanded by attention.
“I know you do, Kieran. I wasn’t sure when or if it would happen to you but I knew if it did, you’d fall hard. You fell harder than I ever imagined. She’s a lucky girl.”
Fucking tears stung my eyes. “What if she doesn’t come back?”
“Well son, you have two options. You can pick yourself up like the man I know you are, or you can see if that new fella therapist is interested in you.”
Wink actually winked and I think it was intentional, then he embraced me and, oddly, I embraced him back. Thank God those tears didn’t fall, because talk about the power of the pussy.
“You’re here to tell me you’re quitting aren’t you?”
“Yes. I have to Wink…I…”
He shoved me backward. “Do you know what this is going to do to business?” he asked, cracking a smile.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want anything to cause insecurity for her and besides, I don’t want this anymore. I want my nights with her.”
The firm pat to my back led me to believe he understood.
“Can you at least leave through the back door so they still come in?”
We laughed as we walked back out into the quiet bar and I looked around to the place that seemed like home. Change was good…wasn’t it?
The next day, I didn’t go into work. I was mentally prepping myself for my therapy appointment and the possibility of running into her. I wanted to cancel, but I was two appointments shy from being done. The reality of her not coming back was setting in and I had decided I was going to move or take an extended trip or something. Fuck, any attempt to make the pain lessen.
“Kieran,” Dale said from where she used to stand in the lobby.
Her car wasn’t in the parking lot and so my odds of catching a visual of her were pretty much nil. I mustered up the energy to stand and willed my feet toward him.
“Hi, Dale.”
“Come on back,” he said and I followed him to his office but studied her closed door when I went in.
“How’s it going?” he asked as I fell into the chair.
His office was colder than Doc’s. Bland.
“Oh. It’s goin’.”
He crossed his leg over his other like he had no dick.
“What’s happened since last week with Mr. Brown?”
After scratching my head, I answered, “Well, Kat and I met with the lead detective and he has opened up the investigation. It was never closed really but they are checking on what Walt insinuated.”
“Good. That would be nice.”
Nice?
“Do you want to talk about Megan?” he asked, somewhat cautiously with a furrowed brow.
“No,” I quickly answered, closing my eyes as the pain of hearing her name resurrected. “Unless you have something to tell me.”
He held his hands up. “No. She hasn’t been in all week.”
“Is she OK?” I asked.
“I believe so. Taking care of some things. Are you in love with Megan?”
Wow…let’s just throw that shit right on out there. I paused only for a moment before I answered, “yes.”
“And does she love you?”
“Yes.”
He uncrossed his legs but then recrossed them with the other leg.
“I wish I could have stopped all this from happening as her supervisor.”
“It was unstoppable. There’s nothing you could have done.” My neck was tense and I popped it at both sides.
“I could have intervened sooner. Maybe not let you see her the day you were demanding to.”
I laughed out loud and looked out the window.
“What’s so funny, Mr. Scott?”
My blood began to simmer. “Don’t ever call me Mr. Scott. And Dale, you wouldn’t have stopped me that day either. No one could stop me from getting to her.”
“Then what in the hell is stopping you now?” His tone was full of disgust.
I shot up off his hard-ass sofa and he reared back a bit, holding his arm out to stop me from coming at him. “I’m stopping me!”
He sat his little pad of paper to the side and took off his glasses. Then he upped the ante by going toe to toe with me. “Why? You scared?”
I hovered over him, pissed that he was pushing me. My hands ached to wrap around his scrawny little neck. “Fuck you, Dale. Her entire life, people have walked away or hurt her. I’m doing neither; I’m just giving her space. I’ll be here for her no matter what. And what the fuck difference does it make? There is no other woman for me. I’ll wait…however long it takes. I’m hers.”
He nodded, raising his brows. “Well, I think it’s great that you are telling some dude that, but I really have nothing to offer you. Think bigger, smart guy. Think beyond your fists that you’re clenching while sizing me up. Sure, you could kick my ass. What’s that gonna do? Is that gonna get you the girl?” He shook his head like I was the dumbest person around. “No. You know it and I know it. So just simmer your ass down and listen to me.”
I didn’t back up even an inch.
“Did it ever cross your mind to go after her? You know, like in the movies? I hear girls dig that shit.”
He uncrossed his legs and actually sat like a man for once, with an inkling of a smile. I wanted to smile…but to smile meant to have hope.
“Kieran?”
My eyes darted down to his.
“Go get your girl,” he laughed at the end.
I glanced at my watch. We still had 30 minutes left. My brow lowered as I thought about waiting another half hour.
“You can go. Our session’s been interrupted for something more important.”
He tilted his head toward the door and a slow smile crept across my face. Thirty minutes is what it would take for me to get to her. When I stormed past Dale, he held out his hand for me to give him five. As juvenile as it seemed, I slapped that hand and ran.
Chapter 50—Megan
“I�
�ve been waiting for you,” Vivian said, opening the door before I could knock.
I’m not sure whom I was angry with over this whole Kieran, Joe and Vivian thing. How could I have lived with them for two years and not known Kieran existed? Never met him. Never talked with him. Never saw him.
“Hi.”
“Would you like to come in?”
“I only have a moment. I’m meeting Joe in an hour at the courthouse.” I couldn’t remember ever being mad at Vivian before. Truth is, I wasn’t mad—hurt, if they truly set me up.
“OK. What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” she asked, stepping onto the porch.
“When I came by to ask you all about the car, did you know then that it was Kieran?”
“Yes.”
Wow… “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Vivian pointed to the front step. “Sit,” she ordered, and I did. “Kieran came to us the night that he took you home to those apartments. He was worried about you. Wanted to get you a new car. That was probably when I realized…when I saw that he was starting to care. There was a protective look in his eyes. I admonished Joe that night. Told him that he was playing with fire. But that damn headstrong man didn’t think you’d like Kieran,” she laughed.
How could anyone not like Kieran? I shook my head and glanced at her with confused eyes.
“Exactly,” she continued, with a telling smile. “I knew you needed someone exactly like Kieran. But I wasn’t going to interfere with you getting work and Kieran was going to therapy now as ordered, so things were…working.”
I released a long breath.
“You need to know that Kieran didn’t know either, honey. He came to me last week. After you had found out about things. I told him basically the same thing. He was as in the dark as you were. Not happy about it but more unhappy that you were hurt by it.”
Sessions Interrupted Page 27