The ache in my heart was nearly unbearable. The time had come to see Kieran. I needed to make things right if he would still have me. I’d wanted to remain hidden my entire life and now, this was my time to shine and finally be happy. As hard as it was to make myself believe that I deserved it…
After I got to my feet, I positioned myself to hide the sun from her face so she could see me.
“Vivian. You’re the closest thing to a mother I have. I need to know if you’d support and approve of me dating your godson?”
“Two things,” she said, standing as well. “First. You need to know that the reason Kieran didn’t have control of the money until recently is because people thought he killed his parents for the money. It was all put in Joe’s name until Kieran would take it. Kat, his sister received her portion but Kieran didn’t want anything to do with that money. I still think he’d give it all back for even a day with them.”
That damn vise around my heart cranked another notch but I forbid myself to waste another second crying.
“The second thing is.” She paused “Kieran could offer you the world, Megan. I know coming to grips with the reality of who he is could be difficult. The man has never found anything he couldn’t resist or he couldn’t turn down. Until you.”
Her hand cupped my cheek and tears lurked.
“I know exactly what he sees in you. You simply have to see it and believe it too. Go to him, Megan. Let him love you.”
I simply nodded.
I drove anxiously to the courthouse, wondering if I was getting fired. I’d only missed a week of work and I’d canceled and rescheduled all of my own appointments, so I hadn’t totally jumped ship. The parking garage was full and I had to park at a meter. After jaywalking across the street, going through security and up the elevator to Joe’s division, I offered his assistant a tentative smile.
“Good afternoon, Megan. Joe is expecting you. Go on back.”
When I opened the door, the judge sat at his desk in a big black leather chair behind his enormous mahogany desk.
“Good afternoon, Megan.”
“Hi, Joe.”
Suddenly, the chair in front of his desk spun around and Andrew sat with a smile.
“Megan!” he shouted, so loud I shushed him just a bit. But the smile on his face and his cottony clean smell pushed all worried thoughts from my head as he ran to my side and I crushed him against me.
“How are you, buddy?”
“Better. I got shot!” he said excitedly.
“I know. I’m so glad you are OK. And we never, ever want that to happen again. You have to promise me that you will do your best, OK?”
He nodded. “My brother went to stay with God.”
“I know, sweetheart. And he will forever watch over you. You look like such a big boy in your dress pants and shirt.”
He stood up a little taller. “I know.”
“I wanted to tell you something, Andrew, OK?”
He nodded.
“I know that right now you are not living with your mom. But I know for a fact she is working really hard at trying to get you back.” I knew in my heart that was bullshit but he didn’t need to know anything different. “My dad, Andrew. He did some things that weren’t OK. And I met some really great families while I was not with him. And I don’t know where you are right now but I bet they will love you.”
Another nod. “They’re white.”
I giggled. “Even better,” I laughed. “I was placed with three black families and it taught me a lot, sweetie.”
“They’re really nice.”
“And you know what, that’s all that matters. The color of someone’s skin shouldn’t matter at all. I mean…look at you and me.” I held my arm up next to his—the beautiful brown and creamy white contrasting, as it should. And it shouldn’t matter if they are rich or poor either. If they love you, let them love you,” I said, and started to cry. “It all depends on how they treat you. And this man right here,” I said, pointing at Judge Joe, “this is who you tell if there is a problem.”
Joe’s eyes softened as he came around the corner of his desk and kindly rested his hand on my shoulder, then rubbed my back—I could only assume to comfort me.
“Sherri, his social worker is waiting,” he said in his deep voice that demanded attention.
Andrew’s head nodded. “Will I see you?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, buddy. Maybe here on occasion. But you’ll always be here and here,” I said, pointing at my head and heart. Then Andrew threw his arms around my neck and hugged me tightly; as I left the judge’s chambers, Andrew shot me the I love you sign…and I shot it back.
When I got back to my car, I glanced at the pile of clothes I’d thrown in just in case I needed them. My Converse on top of the pile made me smile and I decided…it was time.
Chapter 51—Kieran
While changing the oil in my bike, I tried to think about where else she could be. Her father’s house was the only place I knew to look and she wasn’t there. Nor was she at Todd’s—which simply the thought of her being there irked the shit out of me.
My phone rang and I jumped for it.
“Hello?”
“Kieran. Detective Hensel. Hey, yeah, we, uh, just wanted to let you know that we’ve reopened the case on your parents.”
“As long as I’m not part of your investigation, that’s great. Maybe Walt Brown would have been a suspect had you jackasses not set your sights on me.”
I ended the call with the click of a button.
I worked my damn jaw back and forth, hearing Walt’s words over and over again in my head. Had the detectives ever even considered Walt Brown? In the two years that passed, he could have guaranteed that all evidence was destroyed. There was no forced entry into the house—he would have been allowed in easily. And to think, four years prior to that, he’d had his hands on Doc.
Oil spilled onto my hands. “Damn it!” I gritted and threw the damn wrench, sending it flying across the garage, clanging into my metal air compressor. Then I grabbed a towel, wiping the grime away.
“Mr. Scott?”
Shocked, I spun around and there was Doc. Short little pair of cutoff jean shorts, a T-shirt and those damn Converse shoes. Her eyes were wide and held unnecessary questions.
I looked down at my dirty jeans with oil smears, and my damn boots were my oldest pair. My chest was heaving in and out as I stared at her. The hesitant gray eyes that I loved took in all of me and I let her. I was doing the same. If she took me back…if she was here to stay…she was going to eat immediately—right after I laid her down and took every last inch of her.
“Doc,” I barely got out, and felt weak.
An illusion—a trick of the mind, a delusion, a fantasy—was that what this was? There was only one way to make sure she was actually here, and that was to touch her. But I’d given her this long to figure things out…I would wait for her cue. Patience was never a quality I acquired.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I love you, Kieran. And…”
Exactly seven steps are what I took to get to her, cupping her beautiful face in my palms and smashing my mouth to hers. I knew and would never forget the type of kiss she liked—but this was me taking back what was once mine, and her never forgetting that my mouth belonged to her too. Her kiss resuscitated me after the last seven days without her.
She whimpered into my mouth and I wrapped one arm around her waist, securing her next to me. The warmth of her mouth, the sway of her tongue was all I needed. Slowing the kiss, I pecked her lips then stared down at her. SHIT! Black oil smudges covered her face from where my hands had touched. I wouldn’t have thought she could look cuter but she did.
“Kieran,” she whispered.
“Megan. Listen to me. My whole life I’ve been able to walk away from anyone I’ve ever met. But Doc, I swear to God, this week I could barely crawl without you. I want you. Need. You make my world go round.”
“Kieran. I love you and I ne
ed you, too.”
After I grabbed her hand and began to lead her toward the garage, she resisted. I glanced back at her. “What?”
“Where are we going?”
“I’m taking you into our house, into our bed and then I’m going to bury myself as deep as I can get inside of you.”
The corners of her mouth turned up as a visible shiver shook her from head to toe.
“Wait.” She held up a finger.
I wouldn’t wait long. I knew what I wanted and there was no turning back.
She opened her mouth but no words came out, she was noticeably shaken by my plan.
“Talk is highly overrated as a means of settling anything,” I said and swiped her legs out from under her as she giggled a bit. There was nothing funny to me. Once in the kitchen, I sat her on the counter while I washed my hands, also wetting a paper towel to wipe her face. After drying my hands, I picked her back up and walked over to the dining room table.
“Grab that paper,” I said and she did. The results of my blood test proving that I was clean. She glanced at the paper then tossed it over her shoulder, smiling up at me.
Finally in the bedroom, I laid her gently on the bed; sadly, I didn’t think this was going to be necessarily gentle. I wouldn’t hurt her, I knew that, but I was going to make it clear to her that she was mine. That she could never leave me again. Not emotionally. Not physically. If she was mad, she could slam doors and pout all she wanted—but geographically speaking, we were staying under one roof.
After peeling off my shirt and unfastening my jeans, I started on her clothes.
“Don’t wear these shorts if you’re not with me, ever again,” I ordered with a lopsided grin.
“Don’t think that great thought didn’t go into my outfit when I came over here.”
I smiled bigger. “You had me with the white Converse three months ago.”
“I started my period,” she said, as if that would stop me from being with her.
Standing up straight, I stared down at her. “I don’t care, Megan. I want to be with you regardless.”
Her face crumpled up. “Gross Kieran! I’m not now. I was.”
“That wouldn’t have mattered, I’m telling you right now.”
She covered her face with a scrunched-up expression. “There is no way in hell!”
I leaned down and gently bit the inside of her thigh.
“Please tell me, how therapy is going?” she asked.
“He told me I needed to fuck my old therapist and I’d be healed.”
“Is that so?” she giggled as I worked her sexy shorts over her hips, exposing a pair of black, lacy underwear I’d bought for her.
Still standing, I traced along the lace, sliding beneath it until I found her center, then with one finger I dipped inside of her. The warmth and wetness only made me harder. Grabbing the sides of her panties, I yanked, easily ripping the lace.
“Kieran!” she hollered. “Is it that fucking hard to take them off? I loved those.”
I grabbed her hips and tugged her toward the edge of the bed. “I’ll buy more, and watch your fucking mouth.”
Her eyes hooded and her perfect mouth rounded as I positioned myself at her entrance.
“I’m not a selfish man, Megan. But this is going to be for me. I need you now. I need you quickly and I’m going to finish inside of you. When I’m done, I promise, I will take care of you. And when I’m done taking care of you sexually, I promise I will take care of you in any other way you ever need.”
My sweet girl was panting and I hadn’t even touched her, really. Still standing, I began to push into her…slowly and deliberately. I could feel each and every groove, notch and ridge of the smooth, hot, wet skin. And when I couldn’t go in any further, I just as slowly pulled back out—succumbing to the sweetest pleasure known to man. Doc was in a sense getting my virginity as far as never having been inside a woman without a barrier. And fucking heavenly was the best way to describe it. Stroke after stroke, her body continued to surrender to me and I knew there was never a chance of me being without this woman. Embarrassed by the amount of time it took me to get to the point of no return—I decided there was no way I was going there without her. So with my thumb, I began to rub her sweet spot and her eyes flew open, not expecting that stimulation.
“Kier-an,” she whispered. “This was for you, remember?” Her little body writhed beneath my hand, pushing up toward me.
“I’m no longer a me, baby…it’s a we now. An us.”
When she clawed her fingers through her hair then stretched her arms out above her, I knew I’d never see a more beautiful creature as long as I lived. Having her come alive beneath my touch was an all-consuming high, and there was no intention of ever coming down.
I fought hard to hold off letting myself go…but as I felt her begin to tighten around every inch of me, as I watched her face completely come apart, and as a slow moan tore up her throat and escaped her slightly open mouth, I, for the first time, released myself fully inside of her…relishing every single last pulse.
Every part of me was spent… Still inside of her, I positioned myself to her side not wanting to break the physical connection I’d missed. Her hand sifted slowly through my hair and she brushed kisses over my forehead.
I hadn’t eaten and I hadn’t slept, and in my arms was everything I ever needed. I nestled as close as physically possible and I closed my eyes.
“Kieran?”
My eyes slowly batted, coming to when I felt the tap.
“Baby.”
I rotated my head around to find my angel pinned next to me by half my body and my arm.
“I’m sorry,” I said, lazily pushing myself off of her. “Did I hurt you?”
“No. I loved having you near me. I just need to pee and I couldn’t breathe.”
We both chuckled and she left my side, leaving me there alone while she ran to the bathroom. I snagged my phone from the pocket of my jeans and dialed.
“Delivery,” I said. “I want to order three pepperoni pizzas.”
Doc held up three fingers as she came back in and mouthed three with furrowed brows.
“Thirty minutes? Perfect.” I tossed the phone on the dresser and patted the bed where she curled up next to me.
“Why three?” she snuggled into her spot under my arm.
“Because I’m hungry and you need to eat and I plan on keeping you in the room for a while.”
Her little giggle brought me joy.
“I have to go to work Mr. Scott.”
As I rolled into her, our legs immediately tangled. “Not today you’re not, and I want to talk to you about that. Let’s schedule all your clients on one day so the rest of the days are mine”
She shook her head. “You’re crazy. You have work too! In a damn hot suit and tie that I don’t want tons of girls seeing you in, but now you’re plastered on magazines!”
“Sweetheart. I talked to the magazine three days ago. We are doing a shoot in two weeks…to let them know I’m off the market and completely taken.”
She shoved away from me. “You did not!”
I bit at her lip and grinned. “I most certainly did.”
When her shoulders slumped in defeat, it made me a little sad. “Megan. I want the world to know you’re mine. I want any guy who thinks he has a chance with you to know that he doesn’t. And my entire life I’ve had the attention of people when I walk into a room. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have people only see you. I will completely disappear when we walk into a room together.”
“Kieran…” she whispered with a small shake of her head. “I, too, want to be only yours and I want you to be only mine. But the world doesn’t have to know. Just you and me. I’m so, so, so, just the opposite of what you’ve been your whole life. I always wanted to blend. To not stick out, and you’re asking me to go outside that comfort zone.”
I trailed my finger down her temple, along her jaw, and pressed it to her lips to shush her. “Yes. It�
��s time for you to shine. I’ll protect you. It can be done on our terms or theirs. We’re gonna do ours.”
Her chin quivered a bit before she nodded.
“Regardless of what they say. Regardless of what is dredged up about either of us. We are in this together.”
“Together,” she repeated. “That’s new for me. I’ve always been somewhat of a solo act.”
I took in a long, slow breath and blew it out with my worries. In my mind, I had prepared a novel-length version of what I needed to say to make her stay…to see things my way…to agree to my lifestyle—but it seemed as if she was content and willing to stay on her own. My Cliff’s Notes version worked.
As I stared down at the most beautiful face I’d ever seen, I couldn’t help but wonder who the hell would have thought me being court-ordered to therapy would have me here today.
“You can’t ever go to your father’s without me,” I whispered, tracing my finger along the faded bruise on her cheek.
“Kieran.” She inhaled fully after she said my name. “I’m not afraid of him. The hitting doesn’t hurt as much as just the thought of him intentionally hurting me.”
I pecked her nose. “You can’t ever go to your father’s without me,” I repeated.
Her beautiful gray eyes slammed into mine and I hoped I hadn’t angered her.
“Doc. There’s no need to. I’ll build you another house that you can go to if you need to get away. But never to his house without me. I need you to promise.”
Her brow lowered as her eyes flickered back and forth with thought.
“I promise. Are there any other deal-breakers I should be aware of, Mr. Scott?” she giggled.
The thought of anyone breaking our deal caused my heart rate to accelerate. In the matter of a short second, I flipped us over, straddled her and pinned her arms.
“Doc. That wouldn’t be a deal-breaker, sweetheart. I just can’t take a chance of you getting hurt. I never want to hurt your father and if he hurt you that would be…so hard.” I cracked my neck from side to side. “What do you mean deal-breakers? I need to know yours.”
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