by Annie Dyer
“Sounds like you were, without the Owen. How’s Joseph?” She sounded tired.
“Good. He was here tonight. He did her ladyship’s homework with her and they carried on with this bloody Star Wars jigsaw for about an hour before she went to bed.”
“And?”
“We made out like teenagers and had a shag in the bathroom. Do you need any more details?”
Olivia laughed. “I live vicariously through you. Seriously, I’m so desperate to get home. You know I’m quitting, right?”
“You’ve said this every three months for the last four years, so no.”
“Bitch. This time I’m done. I have the capital, I’m going to set up my own business.”
“What in?”
“I don’t know yet. Something that helps people and has nothing to do with money.”
“Okay.” I’d heard this before.
“I mean it this time.”
“Okay.”
“For fuck’s sake, George, be a bit more supportive!”
“I will be when you have more of a plan. Until then, what do I have to support?”
“Your sister!”
I felt my temper snap. “Liv, we’ve been through this. You’ve been talking about quitting for years. Do it and I’ll help out in any way I can, but until then I don’t know what to say.”
There was silence. A long, drawn-out silence. I hated rowing with Olivia. She, my mum and Rose were the main people in my life. And now Seph, and I did wonder – had wondered – whether Liv resented a little that Seph was involved. I didn’t need her as much when he was around, practically anyway, and I felt that. I knew she did too.
“I don’t know, George. I just don’t know.”
“Then sit back and take a longer ride.” It was our mother’s favourite saying: if you don’t know, just wait. Don’t rush things because the dust will settle, and it’ll be easier to see.
“I know. Maybe you should do the same. Is he really over his ex? Cassie? What was her name?”
Cassie. It bothered me. Bothered me that she was still around. Bothered me that I’d seen her months ago and that she worked in our circles. It was inevitable that she would appear at some point, given that she specialised in the same area of law. It bothered me that she could have a hold on the man I knew I was in love with, even if I hadn’t said the words, just as Rose’s father was in love with his fiancée.
I felt myself tense.
“I think he is, Liv. I think he is.”
Court hearings were what we lived and died for. Whatever anyone said about mediation or settling out of court was shadowed about how they felt about being in front of a judge. With the whole anxiety and nerves about what they would say and what would be determined by the evidence presented. I was in chambers, about to see the barrister representing the case I was currently working on when I saw her. Cassie.
She'd already appeared in various dreams, some sort of Greek mythological figure who both fascinated me and worried me enough at the same time that I was about to lose any form of control of the thing I was most desperate to hold.
Seph.
Six months was a long time, but it was also too short. I knew that this was more than just a fling because otherwise, I would never have brought my daughter into it, but I was still wary, hurt, unsure of what the outcome would be and if somebody else would leave me waiting, alone, and I had to be prepared for that.
When I saw Cassie, it felt as though a dart had been thrown straight into my chest, a poisoned one, one which had the power to possibly knock me straight out, but I was a little bit more resilient than that. After all I did manage to deal with being pregnant by a guy who was married, and he wanted nothing to do with his child. But still, everything inside felt like some form of blender had gotten hold of it, stirring it up so that nothing was recognisable anymore.
It was like she was expecting to see me, almost as if it was planned down to being at the same chambers at the same time, the same appointment to see the same barrister at the same case. This couldn't be what was actually happening, of course, It was just my paranoia. She was here for a different reason, but the timing probably couldn't have been better, for her anyway.
Cassie was my polar opposite she was blonde, slim, boobs that were completely proportionate to the rest of her, and a tiny waist with long, long legs that made her look like someone that should be in a gossip magazine as opposed to any form of day-to-day work that required an awful lot of brain power.
Cassie wasn't stupid; she’d finished university just like me. She'd been to college afterwards; just like me. She completed her training contract; just like me; and she made her way up; just like me. In a lot of respects, we were equals, complete and utter equals. We’d both slept with the same bloke, both falling in love with him, and both wondered what would happen next, only she knew what happened next because she and Seph had ended, and that was the bit that I couldn't get my head around.
Seph and I were still together. He hadn't disappeared, or gotten bored, or become fed up with having a small child around, or become disillusioned with the fact that I needed to work and balance everything else with that - he was still there. So why had things ended with Cassie and not with me?
When I saw her in the chambers, she looked almost like she couldn't be real. She was gorgeous, of course, in a perfectly-fitted jacket, perfectly-fitted skirt; her perfectly-done make up made her look completely professional. If I was a man, I’d have certainly taken a second look, and as a woman I took one anyway.
Mainly because she was talking to Seph
I had no idea what they would have to say to each other; we were on opposing sides in the case, she was representing the other party and in a minor role, and Seph wasn't involved in it anyway, so he didn't need to speak to her.
But he was doing.
They had history; I understood that they had a past that was long and intense, and he had no idea that I was there witnessing it all, but I was.
It's difficult to compete with somebody's past, because there's nothing to compete with: it's already happened, it's been and gone, but it's still there and you still feel like you have something to prove. So what do you do when you see the man you realise that you're in love with talking to his ex, who he was with for a long time, but she's got nothing to do with him now, and you know that, and you’re sure of that, but you still feel panicked?
I think the biggest thing was that I realised that I was in love with this man. No questions asked. And I thought he might be in love with me. Only I’d thought that before about somebody else.
Every insecurity that I had manifested itself tenfold.
And every protective instinct I had towards my daughter increased like a snowball toppling over Everest.
Chapter Twenty-One
Seph
Maxwell: I’m pleased to announce you all have a new family member. Lucy Marie Callaghan was born at 6.38am.
Claire: Jesus. Congrats. But it’s 6.40am on the same day. Shouldn’t you be having you hand maimed by Vic at this point?
Maxwell: I’ve been told that if I don’t do something other than ‘fuss’ her, I’ll never get to hold Lucy or her again, so you lot are my distraction. Hope that makes you feel like you serve a purpose.
Claire: Weight? Length of labour? When did it start – because you failed to let us know. And congrats on a girl, by the way. Killian has confirmed his plans for the boarding school.
Marie: OMG. OMG. OMG. I love the name. How’s Victoria?
Callum: Is this is a good time to announce that Wren’s pregnant? I’m hoping we won’t have any fuss because of the name of Max’s daughter.
Ava: *dead*
Seph: It’s not even 7am and it’s a Sunday. Why are you all awake?
Claire: Baby. Feeding time.
Callum: Morning sickness. Wren’s – not mine.
Maxwell: New father. Just cut the umbilical cord. Not going to lie, that was both epic and vomit inducing. My daughter is loud.
Marie: I don’t know how to silence the chat, so it sometimes wakes me up.
Seph: Ava? Why are you up?
Ava: We just got home from a party. Why are you up?
Seph: Rose woke up with a nightmare. She woke me before Georgia.
Seph: Congrats Max. This is the best news ever, btw. And Callum. Equally best news.
Marie: Hang on.
Marie: I missed that. Did you, Callum Callaghan, just announce that your wife is pregnant?
Marie: I expected a phone call.
Marie: Callum’s going to be a dad. And not to an animal.
Maxwell: Oh, it’ll be an animal. Definitely in the future anyway.
Maxwell: No one prepared me for this. I’ll send photos.
He did. A dozen or more photos of a squalling baby came through, with one of Victoria sitting up, their daughter skin to skin with her, her face full of tears and joy and utter bliss.
Georgia was next to me, still asleep. Rose had tootled back off to bed, whatever monster that had woken her destroyed for the time being. I felt whole, together, settled.
Max had his daughter, my biggest brother was complete, and that made me want to jump on the roof and sing it.
I prodded Georgia, knowing she’d be cross I hadn’t woken her sooner. “Vic’s had the baby.”
“What?” She was almost incoherent.
“Vic’s had the baby.”
She sat up. “Baby? Vic?”
“Yeah.” I pulled her to me and angled the phone so she could see. “Here.” I whizzed through the photos, feeling the pull I’d had since I’d met her, but hadn’t acknowledged.
“I love the name. Lucy Callaghan. It just bodes trouble.” She smirked. “Why’re you awake?”
“Rose woke up. She’s back asleep. I checked. A nightmare.”
“You should’ve woken me. I’d have seen to her.” She handed back my phone and snuggled back into bed.
“No point two of us being awake. I checked on her a few minutes after and she’d gone back to sleep.” I wrapped myself around her, my hand slipping under the vest she’d worn to bed, feeling the soft curve of her stomach, which I loved and she hated.
“Thank you. I feel bad for not being awake for her.”
“Don’t.” I kissed the side of her neck. My cock was definitely wide awake now. I trailed my fingers further up towards her breasts, hearing her breath alter, her ass pushing closer to me. “You do enough.” I skimmed the bottom of her tits with my hand and pushed the vest higher up and over them. Her nipples hardened, tight nubs that I started to toy with, my mouth on her neck, kissing and nibbling.
Georgia’s hand cupped my cock through the thin pyjama bottoms I’d slept in, rubbing up and down my erection.
“It’s been two weeks.” She turned onto her back, allowing me more access to her nipples. I leaned over her and kissed one, tugging at it gently with my teeth.
“So we’re good?” I briefly let go.
“We’re good. No more condoms.”
She’d made the decision to go on the Pill, just needing to give it a couple of weeks to make sure we were protected. Although I already knew I wouldn’t be upset if she got pregnant. I certainly wouldn’t act the same as Rose’s father had.
My cock got harder. We hadn’t taken any risks. Every time I’d been inside her, I’d been fully suited up, but this morning I’d be bare.
I could’ve come from just the thought alone.
“You’re good with this?” I pulled down her knickers that she’d slept in; she raised her hips to help. The tiny patch of hair was trimmed and neat, leading down to her centre that was already starting to glisten. Maybe it wasn’t just me who was looking forward to not having anything between us.
“I’m good.” She spread her legs, as if she was offering herself to me.
I slid my hands under her ass, my fingertips close to her entrance and moved my face closer, inhaling her scent. I flicked my tongue straight onto her clit, hearing her gasp.
Her fingers clawed into my hair, gripping as I sucked and nibbled, one hand leaving her ass and moving to play with her tits. I licked from her wet centre up to her clit and back again, before doing what I knew she liked best, small quick sucks while I rubbed my tongue over her sensitive bud.
I wasn’t going to let her come. Not like this. I wanted to be in her when she came, to feel her pulse around my cock with no barrier between us.
I moved away, laughing at her complaints, kissing to shush her, knowing she could taste herself on her mouth. I lined my cock up at her entrance, feeling her heat as I pushed in the tip. Her moan was needy, her hips shifting to encourage me to push further into her.
“Need you.” She breathed the words at me.
I slid in further, feeling her tightening around me as I started to fill her up. I was about ten seconds away from coming, but I hadn’t been a two-pump chump since I lost my virginity, and I wasn’t going to go back to that now.
“Hard, Seph. I want it hard.”
Georgia, I’d learned, enjoyed sex. She was comfortable with her body and wasn’t embarrassed about taking pleasure, which I was more than happy to give.
“Hard, baby?”
She nodded, her lips parted, eyes drenched with arousal.
I thrust into her hard, holding her hips. I was on my knees, the position meaning I could go hard and fast into her but restricting how deep I could be.
I kept the rhythm steady, knowing that was how she’d get off fast, and I needed her to come quickly; there was no way I was going to last long, not the first time I was in her bare.
“Seph, Seph, Seph.” My name was a chant on her lips. “Fuck.”
She tightened even further around me. “You going to come for me, baby?”
Her words were incoherent.
“You going to let me come inside you?”
She nodded, her fingers digging into my shoulders as her pussy started to contract. I rode out her waves, keeping the rhythm steady. As soon as her orgasm subsided, I picked up her leg, putting it on my shoulder so I could drive in deeper. Four hard, slow, deep thrusts and I reached my own sweet ending, emptying deep into her, feeling as if I was finally claiming her as mine.
Our kiss was messy and slow. I stayed inside her, managing to manoeuvre us onto our sides, keeping us joined, her leg over my hip.
For minutes, longer, we stayed entwined, our breathing settling.
“I should go clean up.” She whispered the words. “I think you’ve made me very wet, Seph.”
“Good. I’m going to do it again later.”
She smiled, still not moving. “Are you staying tonight?”
“If that’s okay.” I’d stay every night if she’d let me. She was it for me, her and Rose.
“It’s okay. More than okay.”
I kissed her again, savouring everything.
I’d found my home.
The voice I heard made my shoulders tense and annoyance bubble inside me. It wasn’t a voice I wanted to hear in my office.
Ten years ago, Cassie and I had talked about how amazing it would be when we worked together; how we’d be mentioned in legal journals and be mentioned in the Legal Five Hundred.
She’d never gotten a job with Callaghan Green because Max and Jackson hadn’t rated her. She’d interviewed poorly, had underperformed on the tasks that had been set, making errors that were unexpected and they’d told me after they thought she’d bring too much drama.
After we split up, I was relieved that she’d gone to work at another firm, although it had been before we’d split up really.
Hearing her voice in the building, a ripple of laughter from her, made me want to run.
“Seph! I was hoping I’d run into you.”
I didn’t want to look up. I didn’t want to see Cassie because that would mean she was real and actually here. We’d bumped into each other in chambers a couple of weeks ago and it’d been as awkward as hell. She’d reached out to touch my arm at one point and I’d pulled it back
like a shark was about to bite it.
“Could we grab a coffee?”
I had to look at her now. A couple of people in the open plan office had turned to look at us. Cassie wasn’t quiet; she never had been. Her volume was set to ‘look at me’ mode continuously. At first, I’d found this vibrant, fun. She’d been exciting and I’d loved how busy and social we were together. She’d been a party girl. I had no idea if she still was – a couple of months after we finally split, I deleted her off all my social media and I’d never been tempted to look at what she was doing. I wasn’t interested.
“I have a meeting to get to. How come you’re here?” I turned my volume down, hoping she’d follow suit.
She looked surprised. “Oh. I thought we could catch up. It’s been a long time. I’ve missed you.”
The rules of social interaction suggested I should be polite back. Tell her I’d missed her or make an alternative arrangement. I wasn’t about to start following them now.
“I don’t want to catch up, to be honest. And I haven’t missed you, so I’d prefer it if you did whatever you need to here and leave.” I made sure to keep my words as quiet as possible, not wanting the secretary sat nearby to overhear and make this today’s office gossip.
“Oh. That’s a bit harsh, Seph.” She shook her head and I saw her eyes look glazed.
Cassie wasn’t a crier. In all the time we’d been together, I’d seen her cry three times and each time I’d doubted that those tears were real. Cassie dealt with shit by going out and partying, finding something else to laugh about, or at. She had few regrets and forgave easily – which was a good thing, I supposed, but she expected to be forgiven in the same way.
“It’s true. Do you have anything else you need to do here?” She shouldn’t even be in this room. We had a series of meeting and conference rooms, a couple of which came off the area where most of the admin team sat, but these were for internal use, not for solicitors from the other side.
She shook her head and managed a smile. “No. I was hoping to see you.”