by N. Mashiro
Chair: A chair is a very formidable weapon. Use the wooden straight-back variety and hold it lion-tamer fashion. Thrust the four feet of the chair at the opponent, trying to hit him simultaneously in the groin and solar plexus, or the solar plexus and throat. No matter which leg he avoids, one of the others will get through and hurt him. If you are defending against a knife attack, the seat of the chair forms a shield while the legs press the counterattack. In the movies you always see someone getting hit over the head with a chair. Don't try it. Such an attack is too slow and leaves you wide open for a pre-emptive punch, kick or stab in the body while your arms are holding the chair over your head.
Cigarette: A lighted cigarette isn't of much use for striking powerful blows, and it can't accomplish much in terms of serious burns, either. It can provide an excellent distraction prior to an attack, however. There are three possibilities. Drop the lighted cigarette in a waste paper basket in front of one of your captors. There will be a split second when he will be staring at the waste basket instead of at you. Hit him then. Second, you can try something as simple as blowing smoke into his eyes, then attack as he jerks his head away. Third, with a little luck you can drop the lighted cigarette down the back of the guard's neck (or even another prisoner's neck) and make mischief during the confusion.
Cigarette Lighter: The electric cigarette lighter in a car can be heated red-hot and casually applied to an unwanted passenger like a branding iron. Not only does it repulse him but it marks him, too. A pocket lighter is obviously a source of fire, and can also be the source of a blinding spray of fuel.
Cleanser: A handful of powdered tub-and-tile cleaner thrown in the opponent's face will assault his eyes, nose and lungs. Be careful not to breathe any yourself.
Cleaver: This eldritch device will take off fingers and split skulls if necessary. There's one in almost every kitchen.
Clothesline: Need a few feet of strong cord to tie up the bad guys, make a garrote, or tie ankle-high across the top of a dark stairway? Look in the backyard.
Coat: A coat or a jacket can be stretched tightly between two clenched fists and used as a shield against a knife, club or chain attack.
Coffee Cup: A hard plastic or ceramic teacup looks perfectly innocent in the hands of a kidnap victim. When grasped with the palm over the top of the cup, the narrow bottom can be used to strike a very satisfying blow for freedom. Aim at the temple or solar plexus.
Coins: What is a robber going to ask you for? Money. So pull out a handful of bills and change and let a few coins fall to the pavement in the process. It takes superhuman control not to glance down at the bouncing coins for a second. That's when you toss the rest of the money in his face and punt his groin into next week.
Comb: Any kind of comb will do, but a steel or aluminum rat-tail comb is best. Use the teeth to slash saw-like at the opponent's face and hands. The sharply pointed handle of a rat-tail comb is excellent for stabbing at the throat, face and eyes. (See Figure 24.)
Crowbar: A crowbar is a lethal club, and the hook can be used as a penetrating edge which swung like a tomahawk.
d m 0 c r am 2c u Eo, _o m ~ N C l`0 m. Q d U N 7 C N d U E
Curtain Rod: Check to see what holds up the window curtains. If it is a sturdy metal curtain rod you can use it for thrusting at the solar plexus or groin. You can also whip it across the opponent's face or snap it up into his testicles (see cane).
Darts: Toy darts can be thrown at an attacker's eyes, or clenched in your fist and driven into the side of his head with a hammer blow.
Deodorant Spray: Ever get any in your eyes or mouth? It's awful. If you are cornered in the bathroom by an intruder, deodorize him ...face first.
Fig. 23: The chainsaw is the modern broadsword. Nothing can stand against it except a gun.
Dirt: The old handful-of-dirt-in-the-eyes trick.
Diving Knife: A scuba diving knife is usually an oversized bowie or dagger design with a hammer-like pommel. Of course you can chop, stab and slash with such a knife, but you can also deliver skull-shattering blows with the pommel.
Dog: A loyal dog can be a surprising help in a fight. Even if not attack-trained, your quiet little shepherd may bare her teeth and charge if someone strikes you. I saw it happen under perfectly innocent circumstances. A guest choked on a bite of food, and her husband started to slap her on the back to help her. He landed one slap and the gentlest dog I ever met sank her teeth into his wrist and wouldn't let go. Of course, if you have a toy poodle it might be best to just grab it by the hind legs and use it as a club.
Door: As your kidnapper motions you into the next room, turn and slam the door into his face. Or, if someone tries to force his way into your apartment, slam the door on his leg or gun hand. (See Figure 25.)
Drain Cleaner: This is extremely caustic when thrown into an opponent's eyes, nose or mouth. A solution of drain cleaner and water is even more effective because it burns the skin, too.
Drain Stopper: A bathtub plug with a chain. Detach it from the tub and use it as a flail. It will work better if you can slip some big steel washers on the chain, orgougea hole through a bar of soap and slip it on to the chain first.
Drawer: A drawer can be kicked shut on the adversary's hand, pulled out and dropped on his foot, dumped on the floor for a distraction, or flung frisbee-like across the room at the opponent's head.
Drinking Glass: Toss the water in his eyes and hit him with the thick glass base. Strike for the bridge of the nose, the teeth, the side of the jaw or the temple. Or you can hold the glass by the base, shatter the top, and slash with it.
Enema Syringe: Give him a shot of hot water or rubbing alcohol, and then ram the syringe about three inches into his ear canal.
Extension Cord: Use as a garrote, a noose, a trip-cord, or to bind the hands and feet of a prisoner. You can also plug it into a wall and use it to electrify a door handle or some similar object which the kidnapper is likely to touch.
Fig. 24: A steel, rat-tail comb is perfectly legal to carry. The pointed handle and the saw-like teeth can do severe damage in the right hands.
Eyeglasses: Fold the stems in against the lenses and grasp the whole apparatus in your fist. Strike hammer-like blows with the sharp hinged corner between the frame and the stem. If you have time, crush the lenses and throw the glass fragments into the opponent's eyes before striking.
Face Towel: Fold the corners together to form a bag. Drop a new bar of soap into the bag and twist the towel to make a simple blackjack. (See Figure 15.)
Fig. 25: Even a front door can be a very effective weapon under some circumstances.
Faggot: A flaming bundle of wood or a flaming stick. A club is an effective and intimidating weapon. When it is on fire it is even more intimidating. Thrust the burning end of the stick at his face and let him bat at it with his hands. Get it caught in his clothing if possible.
Filleting Knife: All you fishermen take note. A typical filleting knife has a very long, narrow and thin blade which looks like it ought to be really good for stabbing. Unfortunately, such a blade is too flimsy for heavy thrusts. It can easily bend or break and leave you defenseless. It is far better to use it for slashing only. Slash at the opponent's hands, wrists, face and neck for best effect.
Fire: The potential for fire as a weapon or a distraction is so great that we will return to it again and again in this list (for instance, see candle and faggot). Anytime you see fire in any form it represents an opportunity to injure or panic your captors. People have a natural fear of fire . . . with good reason when it is used as a weapon. (See Figure 26.)
Fire Extinguisher: A pressurized fire extinguisher is designed to be snatched from its wall bracket and discharged easily. Discharge it in the kidnapper's face or use it to fill the room with clouds of dustand vaporasasmokescreen. Then hit him over the head with the heavy metal pressure bottle. For a more unusual application, stick a pencil or other sharp rod down the discharge tube of a C02 fire extinguisher. Voila! A speargun!
Fish
ing Line: Heavy monofilament nylon fishing line is nearly invisible. It's the perfect material fora trip cord stretched between a table and chair, or tied across the top of a staircase.
Fishing Rod: There is an authenticated case of a fisherman holding off an attacking grizzly bear by jabbing the tip of his rod in the bear's eyes. Against a person you can jab with the rod's tip or whip it (line guides and all) across his face.
Fishing Sinker: A large fishing sinker is deadly when swung at the end of a length of cord.
Flashlight: A 5-cell flashlight is a heavy, convenient club which produces enough light to blind an opponent temporarily as you attack. If you have to walk down a dark street sometime take your flashlight with you. No district attorney would press charges against you for carrying a flashlight at night, even if you kill a mugger with it. In the daytime, however ....
Flashlight Battery: A single D-cell is big enough, heavy enough, and harden ough to use forth rowing or hammering on an opponent's head or collarbone.
Fig. 26: Fire Is a terrifying makeshift weapon. Here a disposable cigarette lighter and a can of spray lubricant are combined to create a makeshift flamethrower.
Folding Chair: A folding chair is used to block a knife attack just like a straight-back chair (see chair) with the significant exception that when you block a thrust with a folding chair you can clamp the attacker's arm by collapsing the chair on it.
Fork: A table fork is hard and sharp enough to give you a tiny edge in a fight.
Fig. 27: A garbage can lid is the frisbee of street combat. Aim at the attacker's shins.
Garbage Can Lid: Obviously useful as a shield, a garbage can lid can also be held by the edge for battering orthrown like a frisbee into a pursuer's shins. (See Figure 27.)
Gasoline: Suppose you are incarcerated in an abandoned garage, where you happen to find half a gallon of gas in an old can. Imagine the consternation of your kidnapper when you douse him with the fuel and dare him to shoot at you as you walk out!
Glass: As in windows. A sliver of broken glass is the sharpest edge known to science. Shatter a window, a glass cabinet door or a glass table and select a good sharp "blade." Don't pick one that is too narrow. A piece about three inches wide which tapers to a point is best. Wrap the "hilt" of your knife in cloth, such as a pillowcase or undershirt. Stab upward underthejaw. (See Figure 28.)
Gloves: A glove can be filled with rocks, change, sand, birdshot or any similar substance and used as a makeshift blackjack. Gloves are also very useful in terms of handling scalding hot pans, flaming sticks, live electrical wiring, and broken glass. And if you smash your knuckles into the other guy's teeth, the gloves will see to it that you don't cut your skin.
Golf Club: It's obviously a club, good for rapping on someone's head. It is also an excellent cane (see above) which can be reversed to use the handle as a whip or flail.
Guitar: The resemblance of a guitar to a baseball bat is too obvious to require much comment here. Offer to play a tune. Maybe he'll hear birdies while he is seeing stars.
Guitar String: Most guitar strings come with a little metal bead woven into the bridge end of the string. Pass the free end through the center of the bead and you have one of the simplest and strongest garrote nooses known. Tie the loose end around something you can use as a handle, such as a pen or a piece of silverware.
Hairbrush: The stiff bristles are painful when raked across the face and eyes. The side of a flat-backed brush can be used for striking blows at an opponent's neck and temple. The end of the handle is good for hammer blows against his skull, collarbone and ribs. If some character insists on bothering you, teach him a new meaning of "the brush off."
Hairspray: A woman can carry a small pressurized can of hair spray in her purse without exciting comment, right? Many brands are just as effective as tear gas when sprayed in an attacker's eyes and mouth. (See deodorant spray.)
Fig.28: Broken from a window, mirror or picture frame, a shard of glass has the sharpest cutting edge known to man. Wrap the "hilt" in a scrap of cloth to protect your hand.
Hammer: The utility of a hammer as a short war club is obvious to everyone. For added psychological effect, hold the hammer with the claws forward. That way you get a cutting effect as well as a powerful blow.
Hard Hat: Hold it in both hands as a shield, or hold it by the rim and strike with the visor edge.
Hatchet: A small hatchet can be swung like an axe or used as a club. Always be ready to "bury the hatchet"... the head of the hatchet, that is. (See Figure 29.)
Hat Pin: The main defensive armament of little old ladies everywhere. A hat pin is of limited utility for defense because it is so likely to bend during the first stab. It can be put to good use against the eyes, the eardrums, or when jabbed up under the jaw into the base of the tongue, however. There is also a legendary assassination technique which involves a hatpin inserted into the brain through the brain stem. The technique is rumored to be almost impossible to detect, but has little application to the context of hand-to-hand combat.
Helmet: As in motorcyle. Swing it by the chin strap.
Hoe: Although you might be inclined to chop with the blade, it is better to lunge with the handle. Drive it deep into the bad guy's throat or stomach.
Hose: A garden water hose will temporarily blind an assailant if you spray water in his face. Then grasp the hose about two feet from the end and crack him on the head with the nozzle. Alternately, a two foot length of rubber hose used as a club or flail produces the most excruciating kind of pain without breaking any bones.
Hubcap: Assaulted while changing a flat tire? It could happen in the wrong neighborhood. Use the hubcap as a shield or strike at the attackers with the edge. You can also hook your fingers inside the hubcap and smash it flat against the opponent's face or skull. Lead off by using the hubcap to scoop dirt into the attacker's eyes.
Icepick: This is another case where the weapon can be found in most kitchens, and in not a few workshops. Stab at the eyes and throat, or hammer with the butt of the handle. Stabbing to the chest is not likely to stop the attacker's onslaught until too late. One diabolical application is to casually pick up the icepick and nail the opponent's hand to the table as an opening gambit.
Iron: A hot electric iron can be used as a shield with special success because an opponent can't easily grab it away from you. Use the point for blows to the head, or swing it by the power cord for maximum damage.
Jack Handle: Another convenient weapon when changing a tire on a dark and lonely road.
Kerosene Lamp: Shatter the lip of the chimney and slash with it like a broken bottle. Pour the kerosene in a cup and splash it in your abductor's face. The glass base of a kerosene lamp is hard, heavy and easy to grip. Use it as a bludgeon. Lastly, you can smash the lighted lamp against the wall or floor and burn away the darkness.
Keys: A ring of keys can be dropped as a distraction, thrown in the attacker's face, or used as makeshift brass knuckles. For the latter, hold the key ring in the palm of your hand with keys protruding between your fingers. Strike for the nerve pressure points in the face and neck (see Black Medicine Vol. I for a description of a dozen such targets).
Key Chain: The reference here is to a key ring attached to a retractable chain attached to the belt. A perfectly legal device to have on one's person at all times. Unclip the chain from the belt and swing the keys like a mace-and-chain.
Kitchen Knife: It's amazing how many unarmed Americans die without a fight when every kitchen in the country is liberally stocked with deadly weapons. Grab a butcher knife or boning knife from the kitchen drawer as the intruder is coming down the hall. Hold it point down in your fist, with the edge facing forward. Hide it behind your back. When he gets close enough, whip it out and across his throat before he knows what has happened. Go for the carotid artery, and get a real slice of life. (See Figure 30.)
Knitting Needle: Many ladies carry a bag of knitting with them everywhere. What could be more natural than to include one or two e
specially large, sharp needles in the bag? If assaulted, hold one needle in each hand and make like a porcupine. Jab at the face, hands and body. If the needles are thick enough you can use them to whip the attacker across the face and hands, too.
Lamp: A typical electric lamp with a shade, found in most living rooms. Rip off the lamp shade and confront the intruder with the bare bulb, held like a bayonet. Thrust the hot, bright bulb in his face. If the bulb gets broken, so much the better. Then you can thrust the bare electrodes at him! Just don't wander too far from that electrical outlet.
Letter Opener: Suppose you come home early and find your wife in the arms of another man? This handy item will help you open her male.
Fig. 29: A hatchet is a tool whose potential as a weapon needs no explanation.
Fig. 30: When there is an intruder in the house, a kitchen knife concealed artfully behind the back could make all the difference.
Light Bulb: First see lamp, above. A light bulb clasped in the hand isn't too menacing until you hit somebody with it. Grip the base and smash the glass bulb into the side of the opponent's face. It will shatter, and in shattering itwill slash dozens of cuts.
Lug Wrench: The "X" shaped kind are great for throwing, especially at the legs of an assailant in close pursuit.