Falling In

by Hopkins, Andrea

  I release a sigh, knowing he’s right as much as I wish he wasn’t. I can’t go any further with Jake than I already have. It’s not right. Not yet, anyway. It may never be.

  I drop my head on his shoulder. Neither one of us says a word as we just hold each other, absorbed in our thoughts and frustrations, in our desires and dreams.

  “I should probably shower.” I finally say, my voice rumbling off his chest.

  “Mmm, I should probably help you.” He replies, and I just know he’s smiling that trademark cocky-ass smile.

  I look up at him, and sure enough, the smirk is full blown, and I can’t help but snicker. “I’m pretty sure that would definitely fall under the ‘not a smart idea category.’ I think I can handle it on my own.”

  “Well, if you need me, I’ll be down here, trying to not think of you completely naked and wet and just a quick run up the stairs away from me.”

  “Hmm, yeah, good luck with that.” I kiss him on the cheek before moving away from him. “I’ll be back in like ten minutes. Feel free to watch TV or read or whatever you want. My Kindle is on the coffee table next to the remote.”

  “I’ll be all right, pixie.” He says as he makes his way back to the chair and his big bowl of popcorn. I turn and quickly head upstairs.

  Once I make it to my room, I move straight for the bathroom, frantically undressing before jumping into the shower. I blast the cold water, needing to cool down my body from Jake’s torturous, searing hot touch. I exfoliate my face, gently moving over my swollen mouth, remembering the way his lips felt—so eager and ravenous to touch mine. As I untie my hair, letting it fall down past my shoulders, I step further into the cascading water and begin to run conditioner through it. A small smile graces my lips as I massage my sore scalp, picturing Jake’s hands gripping the roots of my hair as he brought me closer to him. I swear, every spot he touched on my body still tingles with anticipation and need.

  I grab the loofa, squeeze some body wash onto it, and proceed to cleanse the rest of my body. I try not to think of his hands touching every place I’m touching, and I really, really try to ignore the ache I feel down below. But as I start to make my way down, that is all I can think about. Before I can stop myself, I’m slipping two fingers across my slit, getting even more turned on as I feel how wet I actually am. I quickly move to my clit, applying as much pressure as I can, circling the nub round and round until I’m panting and moaning. Resting my forehead against the cold bathtub tile, my body begins to tense and convulse into orgasm as Jake’s name leaves my lips louder than expected.

  I quickly rinse myself and shut off the water, grabbing a towel as I step out. My body is shivering, but whether it’s from the cold water or the much needed orgasm, I’m not sure. Either way, I dry off as fast as I can before wrapping myself in my towel and grabbing another to wring out my wet hair.

  When I open the door, I’m surprised to find Jake sitting on my bed, the bowl of popcorn next to him. His eyes are focused solely on me, and from the fire in them, I’m willing to bet he heard what I did in the shower. I cringe internally, embarrassed that he heard me masturbate, for eff’s sake. My eyes follow his as he gets up and prowls toward me, stopping only a few inches away from me. I look down at my feet, fidgeting with the wet hair that is dripping down my arms.

  “Don’t.” He says, placing his knuckle under my chin, lifting my face back to his.

  “Don’t what?” I ask, feigning ignorance.

  “Be embarrassed. I didn’t think you could get any hotter. But damn, pixie, it took every shred of control I had not to burst into that bathroom to watch you, and then show you how I could make you come.” I can feel my cheeks heat at his words. “You were thinking of me in there.” He says as more of a statement than a question, and I’m now sure he heard me say his name.

  I nod a yes and smile shyly as he curses in frustration. The smile soon leaves my face as he wraps one arm behind me, palming my towel-covered ass, bringing me close enough to him that I can feel his frustration straining in his jeans. With his free hand, he runs a finger across my dry lips and down my neck, leaving shivers in its wake.

  “God damn, Evangeline.” He says, bringing his face to the same spot that his finger just left. I can feel him breathing me in, his nose lightly skimming my skin. I close my eyes from the pure eroticism of the act. His warm breath teases my water-coated neck. And then I feel him pull away.

  When I open my eyes, he has taken a step away from me and is shaking his head back and forth. I let out the breath I was holding and watch him fight the urge to come closer to me again.

  “Why are you up here, Jake?”

  ***

  Jake

  I’ve got to control myself around this girl. Got to learn to play it cool. I swear my dick rises to attention every time I get a glimpse of her, let alone place my hands on her perfect fucking body or touch those pouty pink lips with mine. I didn’t want to let her go upstairs. Not alone. I wanted to carry her up there and lay her down to explore, kiss, nibble, suck, and lick every single part of her.

  But she’s not ready. She doesn’t know what she wants. Or she does, but hasn’t realized it yet. I told her I’d wait for her. And I will. But for how long? How long can I watch her smile at him, or kiss him goodbye when he leaves for work? How long can I stand by, knowing he gets to sleep next to her every night and touch her in places I’ve only dreamed of exploring? How long can I sit here downstairs while she’s in the same house, completely nude, soaking wet, and from the glazed look in her eyes, beyond turned on?

  What the fuck am I doing down here?

  And just like that, I’m taking the stairs three at a time, needing to see her, as if it’s been months instead of minutes that we’ve been apart. I reach her door in record time, silently praying it isn’t locked. I quietly turn the knob and open the door just enough to peek my head through.

  No sign of her.

  I can hear the shower running through the bathroom door. I stealthily slip inside the bedroom, taking in the unfamiliar room. As expected, there are framed pictures of some of her favorite musicians: Bob Dylan, Jim Morrison, Debbie Harry, The Clash. And then there are pictures of him. Cole. Holding her, kissing her cheek, caressing her pregnant belly. I try to push down the pangs of jealousy that are steadily rising inside of me. They subside just a little when I remember that I am the one who is in their bedroom right now. I am the one whom just had her in his arms. Not him.

  Me.

  I make my way to their bed, which will most definitely have to go when she chooses me. And when I say go, I mean burned to a fucking crisp. The thought of that brings a very happy smile to my face.

  That smile however quickly vanishes when I hear a moan coming from the bathroom. I instinctively rise up and make my way to the door, worried that she’s hurt herself or something, until I hear the moan again. Only this time it’s louder, and I know it’s not from pain—it’s from pleasure.

  Oh Lord, please tell me she’s masturbating in there. I put my ear to the door, begging to hear more. And then the sexiest goddamn thing comes out of her mouth.

  “Jake.”

  “Fuck me,” I whisper into the white wood of the door that is separating me from what I can only imagine is the greatest sight I could ever see. All I have to do is open this door, and my dreams would come true. I shut my eyes tightly as I hear her breathing escalate, breathy moans coming out of those damn lips of hers. My hand is on the doorknob, dying to turn it, craving to see her.

  “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” I curse, snatching my hand away. I can’t do that to her. Not without her permission. But I sure as hell won’t be leaving this door anytime soon.

  Never said I was a total gentleman.

  I close my eyes again and picture her in the shower, water cascading down her body. Her nipples taught and begging to be sucked, while her petite fingers are working hard, taking turns pumping inside her tight pussy and circling her hard nub until she…

  “Oh Jaaaaake!” I hear her
scream out in orgasm.

  Damn. Now those are the hottest words I’ve ever heard. I smile to myself, knowing she pictured me touching her while she touched herself. Not him.

  Me.

  I’m so busy floating in self-satisfaction, I barely notice that the water has been turned off.

  Shit.

  I hastily make my way back to the bed, wiping the smug look off my face and attempt to look completely nonchalant and cool as fuck—but I’m sure I just look like a horny teenage boy that almost got caught wanking it to porn.

  I hold my breath as I hear her open the door. But after I see the look on her face when she notices me, I release it and zone in on her. Her face is flushed and she looks completely shocked and terrified. She knows I heard her.

  Fuck, I’m an asshole.

  I immediately get up and slowly walk toward her, needing to let her know how much I appreciated hearing her. Her eyes follow me but never look into mine. Once I reach her, she automatically looks at her feet, nervously playing with her wet curls. I reach out and lift her chin so that I can look into those beautiful brown eyes. The self-conscious terror in them tugs at my heart. Guilt has never sat well with me.

  “Don’t,” I tell her, a bit harsher than I meant to.

  “Don’t what?” she replies with an almost defiant-like attitude. Damn, I love it when she gets fiery.

  As I tell her how I feel and how it felt hearing her in the shower, I can see her heart begin to pound, and I know I’m turning her on once again. I can’t help but to touch her, loving the way her body responds to mine every single time I do. It’s like she can’t fight it—or just doesn’t want to. She succumbs to my hands, waiting patiently to see what I will do next. It’s too damn easy. She’s pressed up against me with nothing but a towel between us, and from her body language and the staggered breathing, I know I could take her right now.

  But again, it isn’t our time. Not yet. I have to wait. Need to wait, until she is unequivocally mine and only mine. Of course, that doesn’t mean I can’t have any fun while I wait. I step away from her in disbelief of this unknown self-discipline I somehow conjured up since meeting my pixie.

  “Why are you up here, Jake?” she sighs out in frustration and what looks like relief.

  “Honestly, I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t just sit down there, knowing you’re up here alone, looking like that—only without that pesky towel.”

  “That’s not very gentlemanly,” she scolds teasingly. I laugh.

  “You know, I thought that while I was listening to you moan my name, but then I remembered something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I never claimed to be a gentleman, pixie.” I wink at her as I sit back down on her bed, never taking my eyes off her.

  “Well, do you think you could muster up some gentlemanlike behavior and leave so I can get dressed?” she asks with a raise of her eyebrow.

  Mmmm, sarcastic Evangeline is just as sexy as fiery Evangeline. I pretend to think it over, even going as far as putting my fist to my chin and furrowing my brows. She rolls her eyes. I smile.

  “I was thinking—” I trail off, not sure how to ask this.

  “About?”

  “Well, I wondering if you might do me a favor?” she looks intrigued and skeptical.

  “What kind of favor?” So many possible answers to that question.

  “I was wondering—hoping that you might let me see you.” I say, waiting for her to get the true meaning.

  She doesn’t.

  “You are seeing me.”

  I shake my head and get back up, needing to be close to her when I explain what I mean. She looks so fucking cute when she’s confused. Once I reach her, I grab her hand and lead her to where I just left. With good reason, she’s hesitant in sitting down, but she does it anyway. I caress her cheek, not able to stop myself from touching her when she’s this close to me.

  “Jake,” she breathes out. “What do you mean?”

  I take a deep breath before asking the most inappropriate question I could ask of her. “Would you let me see you? Without the towel.”

  We both suck in a breath. She releases hers first.

  “Jake,” she says cautiously. I swear, I will never get tired of hearing her say my name, no matter how she says it.

  “Just hear me out, okay?” After she nods tentatively, I go on. “You’re going to have to make a choice soon, and I may not be that choice. I know this. I’ve come to terms with it, as much as I possibly can—which honestly isn’t very much, but you don’t need to worry about that right now.” I release a deep breath as I feel her hand cover mine and squeeze. God, this woman. “For some reason, I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I might not ever get the chance to see you, just you, bare and completely unguarded in front of me. I know that I technically saw you that one day, but you were with him. It doesn’t count. I want to see you looking at me like I’m the only one. I want to know how that feels, even if it’s just for thirty seconds. I’ll take what I can get. I promise I’ll try not to touch,” I add for good measure.

  She’s quiet for a few moments. I search her face for any form of an answer or hint as to what is swirling around in that mind of hers. I know she has something to say, though. I can see it in her eyes and body language. She’s worried about something. I squeeze her hand to get her attention. Her eyes immediately fly to mine. “What is it?” I ask her, my stomach turning into a pit of nerves awaiting her answer.

  “Aren’t you afraid it might ruin the fantasy?”

  Well, that was not what I was expecting to come out of her mouth.

  “What do you mean, ‘ruin the fantasy?’” I’m pretty sure I know what she means, but I want to hear her say it. She shrugs uncomfortably. I nudge her to explain.

  “Right now you see my body how you want to see it, how you imagine it to be. But in reality, I am almost positive it is nothing like what you think it is. My tits are small, but my nipples are huge from breastfeeding the twins. My ass is ginormous, and I have cellulite on the backs of my thighs that I can’t get rid of, no matter how many damn lunges and squats I do. And I have stretch marks all over my lower abdomen from carrying said twins that are nowhere near sexy.” She releases an exhausted sigh after finishing her crazy rant.

  She’s staring at me expectantly, waiting to see disgust on my face, but it obviously never comes. All I can do is laugh. Through the veils of tears misting at my eyes, I see her appalled face, which only makes me laugh harder.

  “Are you laughing at me?” she asks, bewilderment clear in her voice.

  It takes me a minute to gain my composure again. Between residual chuckles and deep breaths, I pull her into my arms and stroke her wet curls.

  “I’m sorry, pixie. I wasn’t so much laughing at you as I was laughing at the absurdity and complete and utter bullshit of what you were saying.” I pull my head back so I can look into her big brown eyes.

  “Do you honestly think I give a shit about any of that? C’mon girl, you may not have known me long, but I know that you know me well enough to realize that I will think you are perfect, no matter how many imperfections you claim to have. You’re—” I start and then stop, trying to swallow down the emotion that is beginning to show itself. I look into her eyes and see the vulnerability that I am sure she sees in mine. “You’re absolutely beautiful. So beautiful, it’s almost unbelievable. You send my body into shock with just one damn look. You have nothing to be ashamed of, or worried about—other than knowing how much I crave you, how much I want to cherish you. Nothing could ever make me stop, not even not choosing me. I will always want you. And the sooner you get that through your head, the better.” I finish with a small smile that she returns and nods in surrender. “Now will you let me see you?” I ask again, giving her my best angelic face.

  She stares at me indecisively, absorbing what I just told her while fighting off her insecurities. But finally she lets out a staggered sigh and nods a yes. If it wasn’t such an immature dic
k move, I would jump with a fist pump to the air right now. Somehow though, I maintain my cool.

  After a deep breath, she gets up from the bed, coming to a stop in front of me. Her right hand grips the top of her towel, while mass amounts of nervous energy oozes out of her.

  “Pixie, you don’t have to do this if you really don’t want to. I would never make you do something you aren’t completely comfortable with.” I tell her, now worried that I might have pressured her into doing this.

  “No. I want to do this.” She says, straightening her back, looking as determined and confident as she usually does.

  That’s my girl.

  My palms are beginning to sweat and my fingers are clenching the blanket in anticipation as I watch her stand before me, nervous as all hell. She takes a giant breath in and closes her eyes as her fingers wrap around the top of the towel. I hold in my own breath, knowing what is about to come next. She grips the towel, and with an audible exhale lets it fall to the floor.

  If there is a heaven, this is what it looks like.

  I am in awe. I can’t take my eyes off of her. All I can do is stare. Her long curls are draped over her shoulders, beads of water dripping down her perky breasts. I lick my lips at the sight of her long brown nipples pointing directly at me, as if calling me to put my mouth on them. I’ve seen slivers of her stomach before, but it has never looked this good, the way it curves into her hips, creating that luscious ass that I’ve been dying to see without clothes. For being so petite, her legs are long and toned from all of that yoga she does. I can’t wait to have those limbs wrapped around my waist. But what is really making my dick hard as a fucking stone is what she’s got going on down below. Her pussy is bare, save for a small strip of tiny brown curls, with puffy lips that I want to spread open right this fucking second. And I know for damn sure she’ll taste as sweet as she is. Every inch of her is more beyond what I could ever imagine, from her cute as hell turquoise toenails to the top of her head. And motherfucking hell, I want to touch all of those inches in between.