And Those Who Trespass Against Us

by Helen M MacPherson

  She gently rocked her, waiting for Catriona's sobs to abate. "It's all right. I'm here. Everything's going to be fine. Today was the first day in the healing process. Why don't you lie back down and get some rest? I'm next door if you need me." She attempted to lower Catriona on to the bed. "I'll leave both our doors open in case you call."

  Catriona clung on to her even harder. "Don't leave me alone. I don't want to be alone, not tonight. Stay with me, please. I need you."

  Katherine, her own emotions in turmoil, hugged Catriona hard. "I'm here and I won't leave you," she whispered in her ear. "Although if I'm to stay, you're going to have to let me put the lamp out," she calmly replied, trying to soothe Catriona.

  Catriona released her and shuffled across the bed, in turn providing a space for Katherine. Katherine extinguished the lamp and climbed into bed, only to be again subjected to Catriona's vice-like grip. It was some time until Katherine's reassuring words were sufficient for Catriona to finally release her, so they could both get some much needed sleep.

  KATHERINE AWOKE THE next morning as she always did, to the sounds of the cockatoos heralding the start of her day. Laying on her side and taking a moment to relax, she felt a reassuring arm around her waist, and a body spooned against her own. Recalling the previous night's events, she tried as gently as possible to remove Catriona's arm from around her. Unfortunately, the blankets they were under held Catriona's arm in place.

  As carefully as she could manage, Katherine pulled back the bedcovers and, little by little, shifted Catriona's arm. Her attempts required her to follow the arm's path, resulting in her rolling over to face Catriona. Her eyes widened when she suddenly remembered the way she'd found Catriona the previous night. Catriona was naked from the waist up.

  Shocked, Katherine reached to pull the blankets back over Catriona. Her hand paused in midair. What happened if she woke her up? For reasons she couldn't fathom, Katherine's focus was inextricably drawn to the body in front of her. Even on her side, she saw Catriona's shoulders were broader than those of a normal woman's. These were complemented by her arms which, even in repose, hinted at a strength hidden beneath the skin.

  Katherine's eyes trailed down to Catriona's narrow waist. She slowly raised her eyes to Catriona's chest and caught her breath. Her breasts were slight, unlike her own, which were well rounded. Mesmerised by her well-toned body, Katherine's breathing quickened. The feeling in her stomach felt like she hadn't eaten in days, but she knew this wasn't the cause. Katherine softly bit her bottom lip. Curiosity, or something else she couldn't quite describe, enveloped her with a compelling desire to reach out and touch Catriona.

  Glancing up at Catriona's face, Katherine found she was awake. She blushed, realising she'd been caught staring and was reminded of how Catriona had stared at her on the night of Alexander's return. Try as she might, she was spellbound by Catriona's azure eyes.

  Time slowed as Catriona appeared to struggle with her emotions. Very slowly she raised her hand and brushed a curl from Katherine's forehead. Katherine's breath stopped. The spot where Catriona had touched her felt like it was on fire.

  Catriona lowered her hand to Katherine's shoulder. "I'm sorry for what I said to you the other day in the parlour. I meant what I said about religious platitudes. But not what I said about asking you to leave. I'm glad you didn't. Last night, when I woke up and couldn't find anyone, I thought I was all alone. Thank you for staying with me. It makes a change to wake up with someone beside you."

  Katherine struggled to calm emotions which had gone haywire at Catriona's feather-light touch. Before she could utter words of thanks, Catriona closed the slight distance between them, and lightly brushed Katherine's lips with her own. Katherine's heart hammered, and a strange blossoming warmth simmered between her thighs. Catriona's lips barely touched hers, yet she was profoundly aware of the mark they left. Katherine tentatively moved closer to Catriona, capturing her lips with her own.

  Catriona's hand encircled her waist, pulling her even closer and, as if unbidden, Katherine's hand fanned across Catriona's sculpted back. She felt the play of muscles beneath the flesh under her hand. Her lips slightly parted when Catriona's tongue slowly entered her mouth.

  Katherine's mind was running a race of its own. She'd never felt this way--as if she were drunk and not responsible for her own actions. Taking her lead from Catriona, Katherine tentatively used her tongue to explore the inside of Catriona's mouth.

  Catriona's hand, which had so skillfully stroked Katherine's back, traced a path to her front. Drawing a slow line up from her waist, Catriona cupped Katherine's breast, gently using the fabric between thumb and breast to tease the nipple.

  Katherine gasped and broke contact.

  "Katherine, are you all right?"

  "No, I'm not. I don't know. I'm not sure." Katherine sat up in bed. What did she want? Her eyes widened in sudden realisation that these were the unorthodox ways the ladies' committee had alluded to regarding Catriona. Her time in the convent and her relative inexperience with men didn't make her an expert on intimacy, but she knew what they'd shared was socially taboo. Her confusion was multiplied by her private acknowledgment that she'd enjoyed it, and had in fact returned Catriona's kiss.

  CATRIONA MADE NO attempt to re-establish contact with Katherine. She'd been aware of Katherine's eyes on her, and her heart had quickened at the prospect of taking her in her arms. She had been elated when Katherine returned her kiss, and was careful not to take things too quickly. Now she wondered whether she'd expected too much.

  She sat up, making no attempt to hide her nakedness. "Now you know why the richer women of the town shun me. I don't think they know I like women as I should men, but I expect they have their ideas. Trust me, I didn't mean to force myself on you. It's just, when you returned my kiss, you confused me."

  Katherine remained silent.

  "I once told you no one can make you do anything. The decision must be yours," Catriona said.

  Katherine nodded, her face flushed.

  "There's something between us. I know there is, but you must look inside yourself to see if it's what you want. My actions have revealed what my feelings are, but I'll not destroy a friendship with something that's not reciprocated."

  Katherine's confusion was plain to see. "I don't know what I want any more. I'm not sure. I need time to think about what has happened between us. I won't lie--I feel something. But I need to work through what has happened. I have no idea where this leaves me as a person or a nun. I just don't know." Katherine placed her head in her hands.

  After a prolonged silence, Katherine finally looked up at Catriona. "As for the town's thoughts on the matter, I've already told you their opinions are insignificant to me." Katherine rolled away from Catriona and stood. "I need to meditate on this further before I make a decision. Please give me the leeway to do so."

  "You've all the freedom you want, Katherine. Regardless of what outcome you reach, I'll abide by it. I only ask two things of you. First, ask yourself what it is you truly want, not what others expect of you. Secondly, you tell me your decision. I'll not ruin a friendship by pressing you for something which isn't reciprocated. You're welcome to stay here." Catriona looked into Katherine's eyes. "I promise this won't happen again, unless you want it to."

  Katherine silently nodded and left Catriona's room. Catriona flopped back on her bed, her emotions in turmoil. In a matter of days she'd lost someone dear to her heart and yet found another. Had she also lost Katherine?

  Chapter Eleven

  IN THE DAYS following Alex's funeral, Catriona silently mourned the loss of her brother. Masking her grief under the pretence of checking the cattle and the young crops in the paddocks, she spent a great deal of her time away from the house and Katherine, reminiscing and shedding tears in his memory.

  Australia was an unforgiving country, which didn't allow the luxury of long, drawn out displays of mourning. The land grew and changed, oblivious to anything or anyone standing in its path.
Despite the pain she was feeling, Catriona knew she must continue with her work or risk seeing the paddocks engulfed by weeds. With some crops the invasion of weeds wasn't an issue, but at least two of her crops would be sorely affected by the presence of such a menace. She knew she needed help to weed those particular crops, let alone prepare the unsown paddocks for the oncoming season. Casting her mind back to the day of the funeral, she recalled the words of assistance given to her by so many. She hoped they weren't hollow promises.

  CATRIONA RAISED HER head at the sound of multiple wagons coming down her drive. Putting aside the scythe she'd been sharpening, she walked out of the barn and was met by at least fifteen wagons filled with families and led by Joseph Connor.

  "What are they doing here?" Katherine asked, as she reached Catriona's side.

  "I'm not sure." Catriona wiped her hands on the back of her pants and walked to where his wagon had come to a halt. "Joseph, is there anything the matter?"

  He jumped down and held out his hand. "Everything's as fine as could be expected, Miss Pelham."

  Catriona rolled her eyes. "How many times have I told you to call me Catriona?" She took his hand.

  He shuffled his feet. "I know, but the missus," he thumbed over his shoulder to Mary, "would have my guts for garters if I did that."

  Catriona chuckled and then gazed at the group of wagons. "It looks like you're heading somewhere."

  "That we are. We're headed here." He was joined by a group of men from the other wagons.

  "I don't understand."

  Joseph took off his hat and glanced behind him. After receiving a nod from the other men, he turned and faced Catriona. "Two weeks ago we made you a promise, and we're here to keep it. We're here to help with your crop."

  Catriona stepped back. "You can't. I mean, I'm very grateful for your offer. But it's the height of the season. Don't you have crops to tend to yourself?"

  "Miss Pelham, there ain't one person here today who isn't somehow beholden to you and your family over the years. Why, many of us would've been turned out of our homes and, at one time or another, forced to go elsewhere for work if it hadn't been for the generosity of you and yours. You and I aren't fools either. How many times have you offered my whole family work which could have easily been done by only a few?"

  He turned to the group behind him. "And how many of us have seen presents and food for our families mysteriously turn up at Christmas, when we ourselves didn't have two pennies to rub together?" Heads nodded and families mumbled in assent.

  "So don't you stand here and tell us you've no idea how you can repay us for what we do here today. In truth, this is our repayment to you for treating us as if we was equals. Not like that lot that live in those fancy places in town." Sensing he had said enough, he pulled his hat back on his head.

  Catriona stepped forward, too choked with emotion to utter words of thanks. Where words failed her, her actions didn't. Grasping the man's hand, she firmly shook it.

  "Men," Joseph said, "let's get that gear unloaded." At his words the men sprang into action to unload the many and varied farming tools from the backs of their wagons.

  Catriona turned away in an effort to conceal the tears she brushed from her eyes. Looking up, she met Katherine's gaze, tears freely flowing down her face. Before Catriona could say a word, Mary Connor lightly touched Katherine's arm.

  "It's fine, dear. This is how it's done out here, between friends."

  Katherine wiped her nose. "You couldn't have offered your help at a better time."

  Mary dismissively waved her hand. "To tell you the truth the men have been champing at the bit for the past two weeks, waiting to help. I hope you don't mind, Miss Pelham."

  Catriona shook her head. "I don't know how I'm going to repay you all."

  "There's nothing to repay." Mary tilted her head toward the men. "Now why don't you go and help that lot, while the other women and I prepare lunch for you all. With all that's to be done, I'm sure you'll work up an appetite in no time."

  "Thank heavens," Katherine sighed. "I'm not sure I could cook for all of these people."

  "Don't worry about that, Sister." Mary held up a basket. "Each woman has packed enough to go around. All we need is a kitchen. Why don't you work with the children, and leave the cooking to us?"

  Katherine smiled at Mary and Catriona. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."

  By the sheer weight of their numbers and working into twilight, the group achieved alone what would have taken Catriona weeks to do. The only thing for her to do now was to sit, wait, and pray the rains would come and assist her young crops to maturity.

  KATHERINE WAVED FROM her seat on the wagon next to Catriona. "Good morning Mrs. Comyns. Will you be home tomorrow?"

  "All day," Mrs. Comyns replied. "Do you need anything, Sister?"

  "No thank you. But I've a surprise for your children that I hope will, in turn, give you some more time."

  Mrs. Comyns shifted the loaded basket she carried from one hip to the other. "Then I look forward to seeing you."

  Katherine turned and lightly touched Catriona's arm. "I can't wait to see the look on the children's faces."

  "I'm glad those books have finally arrived. I swear, if you had to wait any longer you might have burst."

  Katherine smiled. "I didn't realise I was that obvious."

  Catriona spared a glance at Katherine. "I'm glad you're happy." She broke her gaze and faced the road ahead. "Do you have a meeting with the ladies' committee today?"

  "Fortunately, no. Since Father Cleary's returned they're more than happy to entertain him. But I do have a meeting with him. He's keen to discuss some religious matters, plus my current work with the children."

  Catriona snorted. "Hopefully that won't be too painful."

  "It shouldn't be. What business have you got in town?"

  "I've got to pick up a new plough blade from Susan. The work the other week resulted in me breaking the last of my spare blades. Unfortunately, no amount of effort by Robert, the blacksmith, could fix it. He'd said he'd ask Susan to put one aside for me." Catriona reached out and patted Katherine's thigh, "Rest assured there'll still be enough room in the back of the wagon for your books."

  SUSAN LOOKED UP in time to see her door open. Catriona stepped aside to allow Katherine to enter. The look of thanks which passed between them made Susan grateful no one else was in the store. If she wasn't mistaken, something had happened between them.

  Katherine walked to the counter, a brilliant smile on her face. "How are you? Thank you for your message about the books. I was beginning to wonder whether they'd gotten lost somewhere. I believe I could have written one or two myself in the time it's taken for them to arrive."

  Susan laughed at Katherine's light-hearted tone and relaxed features. "They may have been long in coming, but I don't think you'll be disappointed." She gestured to the box in the corner. "See the tea chest over there? It's yours and it's full to the brim with books. Go on, take a look."

  Susan had barely finished speaking before Katherine almost skipped across the floor to the tea chest. "How wonderful!" Pulling out the books, she examined their covers then placed them on the floor. "It looks like there's something here for everyone. Just think, if I could get regular shipments of these, I could almost open up a library," she said over her shoulder, her attention overwhelmingly consumed by the contents of the chest.

  Satisfied Katherine's focus was elsewhere, Susan furtively glanced at Catriona, who was absorbed with what Katherine was doing. "What news do you have, Catriona? I've hardly any news myself. The ladies' committee is on a righteous campaign at the moment. They've set up shop outside the local pub, chastising any man caught carousing with the professional women."

  Susan laughed as she folded a piece of cloth in front of her. "Oh, and I hear our bushranging friends have been active again. Last week they entered a grazier's property not ten miles from here and held the family at bay before making off with a substantial amount of jewell
ery. I'd hazard they're getting a bit too bold. It shouldn't be long before they're caught."

  She smiled, aware she only had half of Catriona's attention. Susan attempted to elicit a response resembling something other than a nod and a grunt. "I hear you had a number of helpers at your property last week. It must have been a great help to you. It would've taken you days to complete all that work by yourself."

  Catriona broke her gaze from where Katherine sat, now covered in books. "I never realised my family had done so much until I saw those people out there."

  Susan patted her hand. "I told you, good deeds do amount to something."

  "Unfortunately though, in the course of the day, one of my plough blades broke. I normally loan the plough to the O'Hara's for their planting so I'm keen to have it replaced before he asks. Did Robert tell you to put one aside for me?"

  "As a matter of fact he did."

  Catriona's eyes lingered on Katherine.

  Susan smacked her hand down hard on the counter, and Catriona whipped her head around. "Now tell me," she insisted, lightly touching Catriona's arm to maintain her attention, "what other news do you have?"

  Catriona blushed and pretended to clean an invisible spot off the glass counter. "Oh, um, I'd heard about the increase in bushranging. Other than that nothing much out of the ordinary has happened." She studiously avoided Susan's questioning stare.

  In a pig's eye. Susan was sure that, through viewing the interaction between the two, something had happened since she'd last spoken with Catriona. Eager to find out what was going on, but reluctant to ask in Katherine's presence she said, "I'm sure any news you have for me is better than none at all. How about you join me for some morning tea?"

  Catriona's mouth opened and closed and she again looked in Katherine's direction. She cleared her throat and returned her gaze to Susan. "I'd love to, but I've got to take Katherine to her meeting with Father Cleary--" Catriona jumped at Katherine's sudden presence.