by Jane Austen
an unfinished performance* is humbly dedicated to Charles John Austen Esqre,* by his most obedient humble Servant
The Author
Sir William Mountague was the son of Sir Henry Mountague, who was the son of Sir John Mountague, a descendant of Sir Christopher Mountague, who was the nephew of Sir Edward Mountague, whose ancestor was Sir James Mountague a near relation of Sir Robert Mountague, who inherited the Title & Estate from Sir Frederic Mountague.*
Sir William was about 17 when his Father died, & left him a handsome fortune, an ancient House & a Park well stocked with Deer.* Sir William had not been long in the possession of his Estate before he fell in Love with the 3 Miss Cliftons of Kilhoobery Park.* These young Ladies were all equally young, equally handsome, equally rich & equally amiable—Sir William was equally in Love with them all,* & knowing not which to prefer, he left the Country & took Lodgings in a small Village near Dover.
In this retreat, to which he had retired in the hope of finding a shelter from the Pangs of Love, he became enamoured of a young Widow of Quality, who came for change of air to the same Village, after the death of a Husband, whom she had always tenderly loved & now sincerely lamented.
Lady Percival* was young, accomplished & lovely. Sir William adored her & she consented to become his Wife. Vehemently pressed by Sir William to name the Day in which he might conduct her to the Altar, she at length fixed on the following Monday, which was the first of September.* Sir William was a Shot* & could not support the idea of losing such a Day, even for such a Cause. He begged her to delay the Wedding a short time. Lady Percival was enraged & returned to London the next Morning.
Sir William was sorry to lose her, but as he knew, that he should have been much more greived by the Loss of the 1st of September, his Sorrow was not without a mixture of Happiness, & his Affliction was considerably lessened by his Joy.
After staying at the Village a few weeks longer, he left it & went to a freind’s House in Surry. Mr Brudenell was a sensible Man, & had a beautifull Neice with whom Sir William soon fell in love. But Miss Arundel was cruel; she preferred a Mr Stanhope:* Sir William shot Mr Stanhope; the lady had then no reason to refuse him; she accepted him, & they were to be married on the 27th of October. But on the 25th Sir William received a visit from Emma Stanhope the sister of the unfortunate Victim of his rage. She begged some recompence, some atonement for the cruel Murder of her Brother. Sir William bade her name her price. She fixed on 14s.* Sir William offered her himself & Fortune. They went to London the next day & were there privately married.* For a fortnight Sir William was compleatly happy, but chancing one day to see a charming young Woman entering a Chariot* in Brook Street,* he became again most violently in love. On enquiring the name of this fair Unknown, he found that she was the Sister of his old freind Lady Percival, at which he was much rejoiced, as he hoped to have, by his acquaintance with her Ladyship, free access to Miss Wentworth. … …
Finis
To Charles John Austen Esqre
Sir,
Your generous patronage of the unfinished tale, I have already taken the Liberty of dedicating to you, encourages me to dedicate to you a second, as unfinished as the first.
I am Sir with every expression
of regard for you & yr noble
Family,* your most obedt
&c. &c. …
The Author
Memoirs of Mr Clifford
an unfinished tale—
Mr Clifford lived at Bath; & having never seen London, set off one monday morning determined to feast his eyes with a sight of that great Metropolis. He travelled in his Coach & Four,* for he was a very rich young Man & kept a great many Carriages of which I do not recollect half. I can only remember that he had a Coach, a Chariot, a Chaise,* a Landeau,* a Landeaulet,* a Phaeton,* a Gig,* a Whisky,* an italian Chair,* a Buggy,* a Curricle* & a wheel barrow.* He had likewise an amazing fine stud* of Horses. To my knowledge he had six Greys, 4 Bays,* eight Blacks & a poney.*
In his Coach & 4 Bays Mr Clifford sate forward about 5 o’clock on Monday Morning the 1st of May. for London. He always travelled remarkably expeditiously & contrived therefore to get to Devizes* from Bath, which is no less than nineteen miles, the first Day. To be sure he did not get in till eleven at night & pretty tight work it was as you may imagine.
However when he was once got to Devizes he was determined to comfort himself with a good hot Supper and therefore ordered a whole Egg to be boiled for him & his Servants. The next morning he pursued his Journey & in the course of 3 days hard labour reached Overton,* where he was seized with a dangerous fever the Consequence of too violent Excercise.
Five months did our Hero remain in this celebrated City under the care of its no less celebrated Physician,* who at length compleatly cured him of his troublesome Desease.
As Mr Clifford still continued very weak, his first Day’s Journey carried him only to Dean Gate,* where he remained a few Days & found himself much benefited by the change of air.
In easy Stages he proceeded to Basingstoke.* One day Carrying him to Clarkengreen, the next to Worting,* the 3d to the bottom of Basingstoke Hill, and the fourth, to Mr Robins’s*. …
Finis
The beautifull Cassandra
a novel in twelve Chapters
dedicated by permission to Miss Austen.*
Dedication
Madam
You are a Phoenix.* Your taste is refined, your Sentiments are noble, & your Virtues innumerable. Your Person is lovely, your Figure, elegant, & your Form, magestic. Your manners, are polished, your Conversation is rational & your appearance singular. If therefore the following Tale will afford one moment’s amusement to you, every wish will be gratified of
your most obediant
humble Servant
The Author
The beautifull Cassandra
a novel, in twelve Chapters
Chapter the first
Cassandra was the Daughter and the only Daughter of a celebrated Millener in Bond Street.* Her father was of noble Birth, being the near relation of the Dutchess of ——’s Butler.
Chapter the 2d
When Cassandra had attained her 16th year, she was lovely & amiable & chancing to fall in love with an elegant Bonnet, her Mother had just compleated bespoke by the Countess of —— she placed it on her gentle Head & walked from her Mother’s shop to make her Fortune.
Chapter the 3d
The first person she met, was the Viscount of —— a young Man, no less celebrated for his Accomplishments & Virtues, than for his Elegance & Beauty. She curtseyed & walked on.
Chapter the 4th
She then proceeded to a Pastry-cooks where she devoured six ices,* refused to pay for them, knocked down the Pastry Cook & walked away.
Chapter the 5th
She next ascended a Hackney Coach* & ordered it to Hampstead,* where She was no sooner arrived than she ordered the Coachman to turn round & drive her back again.
Chapter the 6th
Being returned to the same spot of the same Street she had sate out from, the Coachman demanded his Pay.*
Chapter the 7th
She searched her pockets over again & again; but every search was unsuccessfull. No money could she find. The man grew peremptory. She placed her bonnet on his head* & ran away.
Chapter the 8th
Thro’ many a Street she then proceeded & met in none the least Adventure till on turning a Corner of Bloomsbury Square,* she met Maria.
Chapter the 9th
Cassandra started & Maria seemed surprised; they trembled, blushed, turned pale & passed each other in a mutual silence.
Chapter the 10th
Cassandra was next accosted by her freind the Widow, who squeezing out her little Head thro’ her less window,* asked her how she did? Cassandra curtseyed & went on.
Chapter the 11th
A quarter of a mile brought her to her paternal roof in Bond Street from which she had now been absent nearly 7 hours.
Chapter the 12th
She entered it & was pressed to her Mother’s bosom by that worthy Woman. Cassandra smiled & whispered to herself ‘This is a day well spent.’
Finis
Amelia Webster
an interesting & well written Tale
is dedicated by Permission
to
Mrs Austen*
byHer humble Servant
The Author
Letter the first
To Miss Webster
My dear Amelia
You will rejoice to hear of the return of my amiable Brother from abroad. He arrived on thursday, & never did I see a finer form, save that of your sincere freind
Matilda* Hervey
Letter the 2d
To H. Beverley* Esqre
Dear Beverley
I arrived here last thursday & met with a hearty reception from my Father, Mother & Sisters. The latter are both fine Girls— particularly Maud,* who I think would suit you as a Wife well enough. What say you to this? She will have two thousand Pounds* & as much more as you can get. If you dont marry her you will mortally offend
George Hervey
Letter the 3d
To Miss Hervey
Dear Maud
Beleive me I’m happy to hear of your Brother’s arrival. I have a thousand things to tell you, but my paper will only permit me to add* that I am yr affec.t Freind
Amelia Webster
Letter the 4th
To Miss S. Hervey*
Dear Sally
I have found a very convenient old hollow oak to put our Letters in; for you know we have long maintained a private Correspondence.* It is about a mile from my House & seven from yours. You may perhaps imagine that I might have made choice of a tree which would have divided the Distance more equally—I was sensible of this at the time, but as I considered that the walk would be of benefit to you in your weak & uncertain state of Health, I preferred it to one nearer your House, & am yr faithfull
Benjamin Bar
Letter the 5th
To Miss Hervey
Dear Maud
I write now to inform you that I did not stop at your house in my way to Bath last Monday.—I have many things to inform you of besides; but my Paper, reminds me of concluding;* & beleive me yrs ever &c &c
Amelia Webster.
Letter the 6th
To Miss Webster
MadamSaturday
An humble Admirer now addresses you—I saw you lovely Fair one as you passed on Monday last, before our House in your way to Bath. I saw you thro’ a telescope,* & was so struck by your Charms that from that time to this I have not tasted human food.
George Hervey.
Letter the 7th
To Jack
As I was this morning at Breakfast the Newspaper was brought me, & in the list of Marriages I read the following.
‘George Hervey Esqre to Miss Amelia Webster’
‘Henry Beverley Esqre to Miss Hervey’
&
‘Benjamin Bar Esqre to Miss Sarah Hervey’.
yours, Tom.
Finis
The Visit
a comedy in 2 acts
Dedication
To the Revd James Austen*
Sir,
The following Drama, which I humbly recommend to your Protection & Patronage, tho’ inferior to those celebrated Comedies called ‘The school for Jealousy’ & ‘The travelled Man’,* will I hope afford some amusement to so respectable a Curate* as yourself; which was the end in veiw when it was first composed* by your
Humble Servant the Author.
Dramatis Personae
Sir Arthur Hampton Lady Hampton
Lord Fitzgerald Miss Fitzgerald
Stanly Sophy Hampton
Willoughby, Sir Arthur’s nephew Cloe* Willoughby
The scenes are laid in
Lord Fitzgerald’s House.
Act the First
Scene the first. a Parlour—
enter Lord Fitzgerald & Stanly
Stanly. Cousin your servant.
Fitzgerald. Stanly, good morning to you. I hope you slept well last night.
Stanly. Remarkably well, I thank you.
Fitzgerald. I am afraid you found your Bed too short.* It was bought in my Grandmother’s time, who was herself a very short woman & made a point of suiting all her Beds to her own length, as she never wished to have any company in the House, on account of an unfortunate impediment in her speech, which she was sensible of being very disagreable to her inmates.
Stanly. Make no more excuses dear Fitzgerald.
Fitzgerald. I will not distress you by too much civility—I only beg you will consider yourself as much at home as in your Father’s house. Remember, ‘The more free, the more Wellcome.’*
(exit Fitzgerald)
Stanly. Amiable Youth!
Your virtues could he imitate
How happy would be Stanly’s fate!
(exit Stanly)
Scene the 2d.
Stanly & Miss Fitzgerald, discovered.*
Stanly. What Company is it you expect to dine with you to Day, Cousin?
Miss F. Sir Arthur & Lady Hampton; their Daughter, Nephew & Neice.
Stanly. Miss Hampton & her Cousin are both Handsome, are they not?
Miss F. Miss Willoughby is extreamly so. Miss Hampton is a fine Girl, but not equal to her.
Stanly. Is not your Brother attached to the Latter?
Miss F. He admires her I know, but I beleive nothing more. Indeed I have heard him, say that she was the most beautifull, pleasing, & amiable Girl in the world, & that of all others he should prefer her for his Wife. But it never went any farther I’m certain.
Stanly. And yet my Cousin never says a thing he does not mean.
Miss F. Never. From his Cradle he has always been a strict adherent to Truth.*
(Exeunt Severally)*
End of the First Act.
Act the Second
Scene the first. The Drawing Room.
Chairs set round in a row.* Lord Fitzgerald, Miss Fitzgerald & Stanly seated.
Enter a Servant.
Servant. Sir Arthur & Lady Hampton. Miss Hampton, Mr & Miss Willoughby.
(exit Servant)
Enter the Company.
Miss F. I hope I have the pleasure of seeing your Ladyship well. Sir Arthur your servant. Yrs Mr Willoughby. Dear Sophy, Dear Cloe,—
(They pay their Compliments alternately.)
Miss F. Pray be seated.
(They sit)
Bless me! there ought to be 8 Chairs & there are but 6. However, if your Ladyship will but take Sir Arthur in your Lap, & Sophy, my Brother in hers, I beleive we shall do pretty well.*
Lady H. Oh! with pleasure …
Sophy. I beg his Lordship would be seated.
Miss F. I am really shocked at crouding you in such a manner, but my Grandmother (who bought all the furniture of this room) as she had never a very large Party, did not think it necessary to buy more Chairs than were sufficient for her own family and two of her particular freinds.
Sophy. I beg you will make no apologies. Your Brother is very light.
Stanly, aside) What a cherub is Cloe!
Cloe, aside) What a seraph* is Stanly!
Enter a Servant.
Servant. Dinner is on table.
They all rise.
Miss F. Lady Hampton, Miss Hampton, Miss Willoughby.
Stanly hands Cloe, Lord Fitzgerald, Sophy, Willoughby, Miss Fitzgerald, and Sir Arthur, Lady Hampton.
(Exeunt.)
Scene the 2d
The Dining Parlour.
Miss Fitzgerald at top. Lord Fitzgerald at bottom.*
Company ranged on each side.
Servants waiting.
Cloe. I shall trouble Mr Stanly for a Little of the fried Cow heel & Onion.*
Stanly. Oh Madam, there is a secret pleasure in helping so amiable a Lady—.
Lady H. I assure you my Lord, Sir Arthur never touches wine; but
Sophy will toss off a bumper* I am sure to oblige your Lordship.
Lord F. Elder wine or Mead,* Miss Hampton?
Sophy. If it is equal to you Sir, I should prefer some warm ale with a toast and nutmeg.*
Lord F. Two glasses of warmed ale with a toast and nutmeg.
Miss F. I am afraid Mr Willoughby you take no care of yourself. I fear you dont meet with any thing to your liking.
Willoughby. Oh! Madam, I can want for nothing while there are red herrings* on table.
Lord F. Sir Arthur taste that Tripe.* I think you will not find it amiss.
Lady H. Sir Arthur never eats Tripe; ’tis too savoury for him you know my Lord.
Miss F. Take away the Liver & Crow* & bring in the Suet pudding.*