Lady of Blades

by Saje Williams

  Loki slid down the side of the pyramid and joined them, slapping dust off himself as he pulled himself erect. “You really know how to ruin a party, Thoth."

  "Screw you, Loki."

  "Sorry, buddy. I don't swing that way.” Loki grinned back at him, unruffled.

  "Tell your little were-otter to quit trying to sneak up on me and get his ass over with the rest of you. He tries anything, I'm pulling the trigger."

  "You heard him, Cecil."

  Chaz slid the rest of the way down the sloping side of the pyramid and trotted over. “What's all this about, Thoth?” he asked. As he'd mentioned to Jaz some time before, he'd actually liked Thoth quite a bit before the revelation that he'd been short-changing the Academy students. He still waited to hear it had just been a mistake on Thoth's part.

  It had been a mistake, but not in the way Chaz wanted to hear. Thoth pushed himself to his feet, the muzzle of the pistol never wavering. “You people are so damned naïve. You think you can fight the Centians by being heroes and sacrificing your own wants and needs for the greater good. Altruism is so stupid. The only things the bugs appreciate is strength and unity of purpose.

  "They practically invented unity of purpose.” He reached up and freed one of his remaining few spells from his web. “We're fighting the Centians on our own terms—not as a bunch of undisciplined vigilantes, but as a unified force under the command of one of the greatest leaders ever born. I can't imagine how you people actually think you can win. Athena has the right idea ... only an authoritarian can bring the disparate powers protecting this Earth into a cogent resistance. If it wasn't for Shea and renegade factions like you guys, she'd have the perfect fighting force to oppose the Centians when they come."

  "What the hell is he babbling about?” Loki asked Jaz.

  She shrugged. “I don't think he's your Thoth at all, Loki. He's a different Thoth from a different universe."

  "It's beginning to look that way, isn't it? So why did you even bother coming here?” Loki asked him.

  "You're too smart for your own good, Jasmine Tashae. You're going to get yourself destroyed messing with things you don't understand. You called this one right—I'm not this universe's Thoth. As far as I know, he's dead and gone. Or, at the very least, so far outside the normal realm he might as well be dead. He's lost forever.

  "As for you, Loki, you don't learn from your mistakes, do you? We hunted you down and killed you where I came from. We can't tolerate someone who can't get with the program. You get that? You refuse to cooperate, you die."

  "Sounds like a fascist's wet dream,” the Trickster snapped back. “Good leadership involves giving people something to emulate, something to look up to, not commanding them as if they're toy soldiers."

  "Like you'd know anything about soldiering, Loki, you fucking pacifist.” He said it like it was a dirty word.

  "Put that gun away, Thoth, and I'll show you how much of a pacifist I really am."

  "Ooh, I'm terrified. The big bad Loki's gonna beat me up."

  "Do what you need to do, Thoth,” Jaz told him. “But don't expect us all to bow and scrape. We're as tough as we are because we are independent operators—we do the unexpected as a matter of course. Your people can't win against the Centians because everything you do originates from a single source—you stamp out innovation and creativity. What you think is a strength is really a weakness."

  "So you say ... but who's got the upper hand now?"

  "We do,” she answered with a grim smile. “You're just too arrogant to realize it."

  His eyes narrowed. “I'm going to open another ‘gate and I'm going to walk through it and you're going to let me. The first one who so much as twitches is going to eat a bullet. If you're stupid enough to follow me, you'll get what you deserve."

  "A catered dinner?” Loki asked with a sly grin.

  "Go fuck yourself, Trickster,” Thoth snarled. He cast a ‘gate spell and leaped through the unfolding portal.

  Jaz glanced at the others as she inserted a transit tube to keep the ‘gate from closing again. “So, what do you think?” she asked the others. “Should we follow, or should we take his threat seriously?"

  "He's probably talking out his ass,” Amanda said with a shrug. “I say we follow him."

  "Yeah. Me too,” Loki chimed in. “He probably doesn't even have crystal bullets."

  "I didn't see you rushing to try out that theory, Loki,” Ben chuckled.

  "Hey, there's a time to play hero,” the Trickster replied. “That was not the time."

  "So where do you think he went?” Orcus wondered. “He sounded pretty sure of himself there at the end."

  "He did, didn't he?” Jaz put on a smirk. “He went back to his Earth Prime. Where they have a tyrant running things—where all of us are just good little soldiers under his command."

  "Makes sense,” Cecil said. “I vote we go check this place out."

  "Duly noted,” Jaz replied. “Everyone in agreement? All in favor say ‘aye'."

  "Aye,” Loki sighed.

  "And I,” said Quickfingers. As if that were ever in doubt.

  "Me too,” said Chaz. Ben and Amanda simply nodded their assent.

  "Y'know—that's a prime example right there,” she said in an aside to Quickfingers.

  "Of what, boss?” the imp asked.

  "I said to vote in favor, say ‘aye.’ Did anyone? Only Loki—and wouldn't you know he'd be the perverse one? These other versions of the immortals might be tougher, but they ain't smarter. I'm willing to bet we can drop a few surprises on them and really fuck up their universe."

  "You're pretty much betting on it, aren't you, boss?"

  "Absolutely. After you, Q."

  One by one they leaped into the unknown.

  Twenty-one

  Tacoma WA

  Yet another Earth

  Unidentified office building

  5:05 AM

  They spilled out into the hallway in a heap. Quickfingers squirmed free and teleported to perch on top of a nearby wall-mounted fire extinguisher. As the others fought to extricate themselves from the dog-pile, he watched the whole thing with great amusement.

  Jaz finally stood, dusting herself off and glaring at a hapless Loki. “You'd better hope you never have reason to lay your hands on me again,” she warned him with mock severity. “If your hand ever so much as hovers in the vicinity of my tit again, I'm going to put my foot so far up your ass you'll need surgery to remove it."

  "He'd probably enjoy that too,” Ben snorted. “You're just making it irresistible."

  The Trickster leveled a dirty look at the werewolf. “This isn't funny, wolf-boy. I doubt Renee would find this half as amusing as you do."

  Ben shrugged. “Mighty thin skin for someone with your reputation."

  "What about my reputation?” Loki shot back. “Let's talk about my reputation."

  "How ‘bout let's not?” Jaz cut in. “This is no time for screwing around. We need to secure the area before someone stumbles onto us."

  "They've got to know we're coming—unless Thoth didn't bother to check before he tried to close the gate—or failed to close it altogether, thinking his threat would be enough to dissuade us.” Ben pointed out.

  "I wonder where we are,” Cecil murmured, looking around. “Does any of this look familiar to you?"

  The long black corridor stretched at least a hundred feet in front of them. The only hints of color along that stretch was a two inch silver rail that ran along the walls four feet from the floor, and four silver doors punctuating each side of the hallway. “I have no idea,” Loki said. “I like the color scheme though."

  "It is striking,” Amanda agreed.

  "Let's save the interior design discussion for later,” Jaz told them. “I want to check out these doors. I want no more than two people in each room at once, and no fewer than two people in the hallway at any time. Okay?"

  They all nodded.

  "Good.” She reached the first door and paused a moment to read
the sign.

  R&D Lab #1

  Authorized personnel only.

  Keep Out!

  And yet the door had no other security apparatus than a simple knob. It didn't even look as though it locked. Jaz turned the knob and pushed.

  It opened into a thirty by thirty square white room occupied by a single desk and chair. On top of the desk, a small, mid-twentieth century secretary's desk, sat a wafer thin notebook computer. No wires ran from the computer to any other location. In fact, near as she could tell, there were no power outlets or data jacks anywhere in the room.

  She took a couple of long strides into the room. The walls, floor, and ceiling were all eggshell white, absolutely colorless but for the desk, chair, and the notebook computer itself, which, on closer inspection, looked to be a deep azure in color.

  "Who here does computers?” Jaz asked.

  "Me—” both Amanda and Ben spoke up. Chaz just gave her a disgusted look.

  "Besides Chaz...” she amended. “Which one of you wants to play with the computer?"

  "I will,” Amanda volunteered. Chaz shrugged. Ben just smiled benevolently at his wife and motioned her into the room.

  "Ben—you stay here with her. I'm going to check out the next room. C'mon, Chaz."

  He followed her to the next door while Loki, Cecil, Orcus, and Quickfingers waited in the hall. The next door had the same exact same sign but for the number two in place of the number one. She turned the knob and shoved the door open.

  "What the hell is that?" she asked, taking a few steps onto the black and white checkerboard floor. A huge bubble hung from the center of the ceiling, covered in a mass of purple and black rope-like veins. It pulsed semi-regularly, like a barely beating heart.

  A collection of tables, chairs, and shelves littered the floor, the tables strewn with various scientific instruments and apparatuses, the shelves fully stocked with books.

  "I'm not sure I want to know,” muttered Chaz. “Damn, that's ugly.” He started digging around in his pockets...” I know I put that ion lance somewhere."

  "Are you sure you want to shoot it?” Loki asked, sticking his head in the door. “That's a sym-tank."

  "A what? What the hell is a sym-tank?” Jaz shot over her shoulder.

  "It's growing a symsuit—you know, like that thing that transformed Kali?"

  Chaz edged toward the door. “It isn't going to jump on me, is it?"

  Loki grinned. “If you shoot the tank with that ion lance of yours, it'll probably just encourage it to do something to defend itself. Please try it."

  Jaz called her katana to hand and made as if to jab at the sac. “No!” Chaz shrieked, leaping for the door. Jaz lowered the blade and winked at Loki. “What—you don't want to be superhuman, Chaz?"

  "I don't want to be alien,” he snapped back, standing in the doorway with Loki.

  She snickered and turned away. She walked over to a closed cupboard and pulled the door open. Well, now, this is interesting. What do we have here? Row upon row of little bottles, filled with colored liquids ranging from red to white to so clear it looked like water.

  Each of the bottles was clearly labeled as “Bug Juice.” Whatever the hell that is. “Hey, Chaz ... you don't happen to have any way to analyze this stuff, do you?” She held up a bottle filled with a neon green liquid.

  "Not with me,” he said. “What's it say?"

  She told him.

  "Oh ... that sounds appetizing. Why don't you have swig?"

  "Yeah, I'm feeling stupid today,” she snorted. She grabbed one of each color and stuffed them in a dimension pocket.

  "Next door,” she called out, trotting back out to the hallway. “This is getting weirder and weirder."

  "Curiouser and curiouser.” This from Orcus, amazingly enough.

  "Lewis Carroll is such an inappropriate reference at times like this,” Loki said with a smirk. The big man chuckled.

  "And behind door number three—” Jaz shoved the next one open with her foot, sword already in hand. She figured it was about time something big and fanged leaped out of the shadows at them.

  She had good instincts. As the door cleared the jamb something smashed into it ... hard. Wood was shredded and something screamed loud enough to shake the building around them. “Huh. Something in there is a little annoyed, wouldn't you say?"

  Jaz gave Loki a disgusted look. “There's a point where dry becomes un-funny, Loki."

  "Sorry,” he said, not sounding like it.

  The creature shrieked in impotent rage as it pounded against the door. “Whatever it is it, we know it can't turn a doorknob.” Cecil pointed out.

  Jaz glanced over her shoulder at him. “Thank you, Captain Obvious. Go do something helpful and check out how Ben and Amanda are doing, will you?"

  Cecil stiffened, sniffed, spun on his heel, and marched back to the first door.

  "Was that absolutely necessary?” Orcus asked her. “He didn't deserve that."

  She wanted to take it back the moment it left her mouth, but didn't know how to swallow her own words. She'd never been good at that. Maybe it's time you learned, said that tiny voice she'd always been so reluctant to pay attention to. Can't show your soft side, can you, Jaz? Might make people think you're weak, right?

  And Gawd forbid Jasmine Tashae is ever seen as weak.

  * * * *

  HELLO. MY NAME IS AMIGOS.

  "That took long enough,” Ben murmured over Amanda's shoulder.

  "Hey, I managed it, didn't I? This thing's security protocols were outrageous. So let's see what this baby can do."

  HELLO, AMIGOS, she typed. MENU PLEASE.

  A graphical interface sprang onto the screen. It wasn't Windows—she'd actually never seen anything quite like it.

  One of the icons took the shape of a human face with an open mouth. The label beneath it said ‘Verbal Commands.’ She double-clicked it.

  The computer cleared its non-existent throat and spoke in the very ordinary sounding voice of a college educated white American. “Welcome to the Amalgamated Meta-Intelligence Graphical Operating-System, or AMIGOS, system. I am Amigos. I am able to understand and respond to over fifteen hundred verbal commands."

  "Hello, Amigos. I am Amanda."

  "Nice to meet you, Amanda. Am I correct in surmising that you're the one who bypassed my security protocols?"

  She wasn't sure how to respond to that. “Uh ... yes."

  "Nice work. I would have wagered that no one had the skills to do that."

  "Go get Jaz,” she told Ben. “She's going to want to see this. Is that a problem, Amigos?"

  Ben stuck his head out into the hall, said a few words to someone, and ducked back in. “Jaz is coming."

  "Not at all,” Amigos was saying. “I am quite hopeful that this chance meeting may be beneficial to us both."

  "How so?” she asked suspiciously.

  Jaz swept in. “What's this about the computer? Ben's explanation to Cecil isn't making much sense."

  "Ben's the anti-geek. What he knows about computers can be written on the head of a pin. And Cecil trying to translate? Please.

  "Jaz ... meet Amigos."

  "Very pleased to meet you, Jaz,” said the computer. “I hope we will have a long and prosperous relationship."

  Jaz snorted. “Nice trick., Amanda. How'd you pull that off?"

  "It's not a trick, Jaz. It's the computer. It's sentient."

  "It's a little early to make that assessment,” Chaz said as he came walking into the room. “An interesting premise, but there's never been any evidence it's even possible."

  "That is where you are mistaken, friend,” the computer said. “It is indeed possible, and I am evidence that this is true."

  "You're evidence that someone is good enough to write a computer program that can fake it,” the engineer retorted.

  "I see I am dealing with a man of great intellect. Let us then, as they say, cut to the chase. What would it take to convince you of my sentience?"

  "A gre
at deal of time and study,” the Artificer replied dryly.

  Jaz shrugged. “Sounds smart enough to me."

  "It wants to make a deal with us,” Amanda told her.

  "Really? What kind of a deal do you want to make, Amigos?"

  "If you free me from this prison, I will join you in your fight against the Centians."

  "How—"

  "Did I know you were fighting the Centians? Your counterparts here face the same challenge. It was a simple extrapolation from what I have observed since meeting you. Your resourcefulness and combat readiness tell me that you are agents of a power, probably an immortal, gathering intelligence to help you in your own battle against the aliens who make war on your kind."

  "Pretty astute for a box of wires. You've got a deal, Amigos. Amanda—you and Amigos are joined at the hip. Put it—I want to call it him for some reason—in a dimension pocket. We need to keep moving. We've only seen two rooms so far."

  "Three."

  "Yeah ... Three. We're going to leave that room alone."

  "What room?” Ben asked. “Why are we leaving it alone?"

  "It's got a monster and we're not playing Dungeons and Dragons. The bad guys have much more efficient ways to guard their goodies than to put a monster in with them."

  Ben chuckled. “You'd think so, would you?"

  "Okay, Amigos ... I'm going to put you somewhere safe, okay?"

  "Affirmative,” Amigos replied. “Feel free."

  "What's in room two?” Amanda asked, as she scooped up the notebook and set it in her dimension pocket.

  "A bunch of weird shit.” She described the thing on the ceiling and the bottles of Bug Juice in the cabinet.

  "I believe the thing on the ceiling is a biological symsuit tank,” Loki said, as they rejoined him in the hall.

  "So what does a symsuit do, anyway?"

  "Very good question ... whatever the hell it wants to, primarily."

  "You're a lot of help."

  "Hey, I don't know much more than that."