All I Want for Christmas

by Sandra D. Bricker

  “I love you, Jo-Jo,” he confessed as they parted.

  And Joanna . . . burst into laughter.

  When she saw his expression, she covered her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s not funny. It’s just—a relief. I love you, too, Jed.”

  “Just listen to this one last passage,” Joanna told Bella’s image on the computer screen. She opened the leather-bound journal to the page she’d marked with the ribbon.

  “I can’t believe you found that. I’ve wondered over the years what ever happened to Mom’s diary.”

  “Here it is. Listen to this.” Joanna shifted the leg folded beneath her before reading: I heard from Tuck today. A picture postcard from Istanbul—a lovely photo of a harbor there called the Golden Horn—and just a few sentences scribbled on the back. “En route back to Kabul,” he wrote. “I don’t know what awaits us, but I want you to know I’m sorry for disappointing you. So many sorries for so many disappointments. Tuck.”

  “Well, that was something, I guess,” Bella interrupted. “Tossing a few apologies at her before he maybe got killed in Afghanistan.”

  “There’s more. She writes, It might not seem like anything to the average onlooker. But I know, for Tuck, that was a milestone. I continue to pray he’ll come home to us one day, Lord. Until then, my life revolves around our four stunning girls. Through them, I am fulfilled and happy.”

  Bella’s hand went to her heart, her facial expression crumpled, and she looked away from the screen.

  “Oh. And Bell? Did I mention to you that Jed Weatherly says he loves me?”

  Bella jerked back toward the screen, her mouth hanging open. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  “Yeah.” She suppressed the smile that threatened. “Jed’s in love with me. And it only took twenty-some years for him to come around. Honestly, I don’t know what took him so long.”

  Bella broke into a guffaw, and the two of them shared belly laughs.

  “Jo-Jo, listen. I have to go,” she said once she recovered. “I have that conference call with my boss in ten. But first, I know I don’t have to ask you if you love him back because . . . well, it’s Jed.”

  Joanna shrugged. “Yeah. But I do. I really do still love him. With all my heart.”

  “Any idea what you two are going to do about it?”

  “I wish I knew. He’s been offered a job in Montana, so there may not be anything left we can do.”

  “You’ll figure it out together.”

  “Hey, Bell?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Please come for Christmas.”

  “Jo-Jo—”

  “Really, I almost don’t even care if Soph and Amy come now. I’m so sick of begging them. But please, Bella. You and me. Come and spend Christmas with me on the horse farm. Just say you’ll think about it.”

  After several moments of silence, Bella nodded. “I’ll think about it. But I’m not promising anything.”

  Once she disconnected from Skype and closed her laptop, Joanna went to the mirror hanging behind the large, mahogany dresser. She fixed her hair and applied some lip gloss, then changed into the thick, black sweater she’d found in her mother’s still-untouched dresser. With her hair loose, she looked more like her mom than she’d ever noticed before. Others had remarked on it often, but she finally saw it. And it made her smile.

  Despite the inclination to hurry off to her destination, Joanna hesitated, then sat on the corner of her bed. After a moment, she bowed her head and closed her eyes.

  “Jesus,” she whispered, then she sighed, not sure how to phrase everything that trudged around her heart. “Jesus,” she repeated. “My mother really loved you, didn’t she? And Pastor Tobin says Tuck eventually shared her feelings. Is that true?”

  She didn’t suppose Tuck—or Sarah and Jed as well—would have said so if it wasn’t the truth.

  “I think I’m glad about that,” she murmured. “But at the same time, I don’t guess I can just crouch down under that umbrella to try and get in on it, can I? I mean—if you’re interested—I’d like to know you better myself.”

  Her eyes flew open at the words. She hadn’t really intended to say that, exactly. But what had she meant to say?

  “I feel like you’ve been trying to tell me something,” she told the closed bedroom door. “Like you’re calling me to something different. Something . . . higher. Is that the case? Are you asking me to come closer? To get to know you?”

  After a moment’s thought, Joanna slid impulsively from the side of the bed and landed on her knees. As she bowed her head, tears pushed against her clamped eyes and forced their way out in streams.

  “I remember the Sunday school lessons,” she whispered. “But it’s different now. I feel you in my heart, pulling me toward you. I just want you to know . . . I believe. I know you’re my God. I want to follow you. Tuck may have failed me as a father, but you haven’t, have you? Maybe you’ve just been waiting for me to wise up and see these things. But I’m here now. If you’ll have me. Just tell me somehow what to do, what comes next.”

  An hour later, after she’d confessed a lifetime of doubt, rebellion, and independence, Joanna stood, dried her eyes, and slipped out to the great room. On her way out the door, she slid into her coat, tugged her pink gloves into place, and pulled the beanie over her head. Halfway down the drive, she looked back at the incandescent holiday tree filling the window and followed the trail of colorful lights outlining the large house. A peculiar sense of joy squeezed her heart. She still loved this place so much.

  When she reached Jed’s front door, Joanna stood there before knocking. Had she made a mistake in coming? Would her words come out in a jumble, or did she have time to lasso them into some semblance of order?

  Jed opened the door at her first soft rap. “Jo-Jo. What are you doing here?”

  “Are you taking that job in Montana, Jed?”

  “Hello to you, too.”

  “Do you think there’s any chance we could bring this place to life again? I mean, if you stuck around and helped me. Do we have a shot at that?”

  “Would you like to come in?”

  She dropped her head and groaned. “Did I make it up in my head or did you actually tell me you love me? I mean, I know you told me you did, and I’m happy about it because I really love you, too. You already knew that though, didn’t you?”

  “I—”

  She recognized the landslide of words as they slid into a full-on avalanche, but she just couldn’t stop them. “Don’t go to Montana, Jed. Stay here with me. Help me make this place into something again.”

  “Okay.”

  “I think we can do it. I mean, I don’t really know what makes me think that, but—What did you say?”

  “I said, okay. I’ll stay.”

  “Really?”

  “Unless you want me to rethink.”

  “No! Don’t do that.” Suddenly, she noticed— “Hey, you have your coat on. Were you leaving?”

  “I was headed down to the stable to check on Lucinda.”

  “The gray mare?”

  He nodded, stepping out and closing the door behind him. “The vet was out today to look at her leg. Her limp has gotten worse, and she can’t bend her knee more than about twenty degrees. He gave her a shot of an anti-inflammatory. I just want to check in and see how she’s doing.”

  Joanna extended her hand. “Let’s visit Lucinda together.”

  The simple act of Jed accepting her hand and tucking it into his sent a shot of electricity straight through her.

  “Did you mean it?” she finally asked. “You’ll stay?”

  “I called and turned down the job in Montana this morning. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Joanna stopped in her tracks and turned to face him. “I can’t believe you actually love me. Am I dreaming?”

  “If you are,” he said, placing his gloved hand on her cold cheek, “then so am I. Please, be very quiet so you don’t wake me.”

  “I won’t if you won’t.”
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  Chapter Nine

  Oh good!” Joanna said from her spot on the floor as Jed came through the door.

  She looked so beautiful to him just then with her dark waves falling well past her shoulders, her jean-clad legs folded beneath her, and her small feet covered in thick, gray socks. She’d only been back in Bluegrass Crossing for a couple of weeks, but every day seemed to bring a new discovery about her. About them. Just the sight of her lifted his spirits to ridiculous levels.

  “I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been going over a few things.” Her laptop sat propped open on the coffee table in front of her, and a spiral notebook stood balanced against it. “When is the auction again?”

  “The fourteenth.”

  “And we have four thoroughbreds to put on the block, yes?”

  “Yep.”

  “Okay. Let’s figure this out. Either way—whether we keep this place or sell it—we need to get started on repairs and the like. I was thinking—”

  Jed crouched next to her and placed his finger over her lips to silence her. “Take a breath,” he whispered, “before you hyperventilate.”

  “There’s just so much to think about, Jed, and I—”

  “You like to make your lists and plan your next move. I know that. But for just one minute, can I pull you away from all this?”

  “No,” she blurted. “I’m on to something here, and I don’t want to lose my train of thought.”

  “Even if I have a surprise for you?”

  A grin glided over her entire face, and she dropped her pen. “You do? What is it?”

  Jed offered her his hand, and when she took it, he guided Joanna to her feet. Placing his hands on both of her shoulders, he looked into her eyes and smiled.

  “I’m really sorry your sisters let you down and decided not to come for that family Christmas you wanted so much.”

  She shrugged, and a pout replaced her smile. “It is what it is. Their loss.”

  “But my surprise for you is almost as good.”

  Joanna giggled. “As good as my three sisters?”

  He shrugged. “How about just one of your sisters?”

  Confusion glazed her hazel eyes with an emotional, emerald tint. “What?”

  Jed circled her toward the door so she could see who had crept inside, and Joanna froze for several seconds before whirling around, smacking Jed’s arm, and flying into those of her sister, Bella.

  “I knew it!” she cried as they embraced. “We’ve been praying you’d come!”

  Bella snorted. “You prayed?”

  “I know, right? I have so much to tell you! But we did. We prayed. And here you are.”

  “After Jed called me three times and guilted me into it, yes. I’m here.”

  Twirling toward Jed again, she beamed as she flew toward him and nearly strangled him with her arms.

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

  With a gasp, she turned back to her sister. “Oh, Bella! Wait till you see what I have for us. Remember those flannel nightgowns Mom made?”

  Bella laughed. “They were awful!”

  “Well, I found some just like them for us!”

  Her sister’s expression drooped. “Oh.”

  Jed chuckled as he stood back and watched the cyclone that was Jo-Jo, fired up and swirling with hope once again.

  Thank you, Lord. I think that look on her face is the best Christmas gift I’ve ever received.