WINDDREAMER

by Charlotte Boyett-Compo

  Tearing his eyes from hers, Regan looked down, feeling his guilt. "I did what I was told to do."

  "I know you did, and he knows you did. He also knows what it is like to be used by both Raja and Kaileel."

  He lifted his eyes and peer at her.

  "It isn't because he's callous to your feelings, or that he doesn't care about you that makes him shun you. It's just that all has not gone well for him of late, and his mind has been on things he thinks are of more consequence." She shook her head. "That may be wrong. I cannot judge. But if you'll let me, I'll see that he comes to speak with you, hears your side, and judges for himself what is best for you."

  "I don't need him!" Regan shouted.

  Liza looked down at her hands. "But he needs you."

  Regan stomped across the room and glared at her. "What does he need me for? He has Corbin. He has that man I met at the harbor!

  "You mean Wyn?"

  "The one marrying the nigger!"

  Liza pursed her lips into a hard line. "That's a horrible word, but I'll address the issue of prejudice with you another time. For now, you must understand that you are as much his son as Corbin or Wyn are."

  "But I tried to kill him!"

  "Did you? Was that really your intention?"

  His face screwed up. He tried to keep tears from coming. "I raised his dagger and pointed it right at his heart." He lifted his hand in parody. "He didn't even try to stop me! He didn't say a word!" His mouth quivered. "He let me do it! He let me try to kill him, Lady!"

  "Do you know why?"

  He shook his head and angrily wiped the sleeve of his tunic under his nose.

  "Because you are flesh of his flesh, blood of his blood. He realized that he had failed you, and it was his punishment he saw in that dagger. He blamed himself for what you were trying to do."

  "He hates me!" Regan cried, tears falling from his eyes.

  Liza shook her head. "No one hates you."

  Regan backed away. "You hate me! I tried to kill your lover!"

  She held out her arms. "I don't hate you, Regan. I understand why you did what you did. Tohre gave you no choice, didn't he?"

  Never had Regan been held by a woman. Not his mother, not the wet nurse who gave her milk in a bottle for one of the priests to feed him. Never had any woman ever offered to hold him, except this lady, who once held him while he cried crocodile tears against her sweet bosom to gain his own ends.

  "Come here, son," Liza whispered. "Come here."

  He looked deeply into her damp eyes, and through his own tears, saw the gentleness in her face. Her arms--safe, secure, loving--engulfed him. He let his head drop to her shoulder.

  "You aren't alone any more," she said. "You're part of this family."

  With the tears that became violent sobbing against her chest, he let all the torment and sadness flow out of him. The harder he cried the lighter his heart felt. Her hands gently smoothed over his back, while her crooning voice soothed him.

  His own arms went around her, pulling her close, just as he had seen her other children do. As he sobbed, Regan felt his anger vanish, and in its stead, came a sense of having found a place in life--at last.

  Chapter 22

  * * *

  "Did he talk to you?" Teal asked as he hurried alongside Conar down the corridor. "Did he?"

  "Did who?" Conar quipped, looking at Teal's anxious face.

  "Did Holm talk to you about me?"

  Conar looked at him with a bland expression. "What about you, du Mer?" His lips twitched, but he knew Teal hadn't noticed. He let a scowl come over his face. "Have you been gambling again, du Mer?" Before Teal could speak, Conar held up his hand. "I'd think twice about gambling when it comes to the good Captain. And if you're serious about his daughter, I'd swear on your parents' graves that you won't gamble again. Else I doubt he'll let you continue seeing Jenny."

  Teal swallowed hard. "No gambling?"

  "Not even a turn of the dice."

  A beleaguered look crossed Teal's face. "No dice?"

  "And no cards. And something else..."

  "What?" Teal sighed, his crestfallen look miserable.

  "You ought to try to get over that seasickness of yours."

  Teal blanched white. "Why?"

  A merry, evil grin touched Conar's mouth. "I think Holm plans for any son-in-law of his to go into shipping with him. I intend to give him The Ravenwind when all this is over." He slapped Teal on the shoulder and continued on his way.

  "On the water?" Teal called after him. "Sailing? Can't I just manage his office?"

  Turning the corner into the solarium, Conar encountered Brelan, giving him a stern look. "That wasn't nice," Saur said.

  "Tell me, Bre," Conar said, putting his arm around his brother's shoulder, "are you still afraid of heights?"

  Brelan's eyes narrowed. "Aye, what of it?"

  "Would you climb, say, thirty feet to gain Amber-lea's hand?"

  A look of warning passed over Brelan's face. "If that's what you intend for me--"

  "No!" Conar laughed. "But if you had to do it to win her, or to save her life, would you?"

  Brelan gave a slow, hesitant nod. "Aye, I would."

  "Then, Teal can at least try sailing, can't he?" Conar chuckled. "Faint heart never won fair maiden."

  Brelan smiled. "Holm may toss his ass overboard."

  Conar shook his head. "Holm is happy about the situation. He'll forgive du Mer just about anything. Even seasickness."

  "Conar?"

  He stilled, hearing the anger in Liza's voice. He looked at Brelan.

  Saur shook his head. "Better not keep her waiting."

  Conar scrunched up his face as she called again. He drew in a harsh breath. Walking to the stairs, he looked up to see her standing there, arms folded over her chest, her right foot tapping a furious tempo on the carpet, her eyes glowing. When he climbed the steps and reached her, he smiled uncertainly.

  "Your son is waiting for you to speak to him," she said, forestalling his apology. She nodded to Regan's door. "When you're through with your duty in there, I'll be in the library--waiting." She spoke the last word with finality, then swept past him down the stairs.

  He didn't give himself time to stall. He tapped lightly on Regan's door, heard the hesitant "enter," and walked in. Regan, sitting on the window seat, slowing stood, his eyes wary, his body tense.

  Conar took a deep breath and settled on the bed, patting the place beside him. Regan sat down as though on hot coals. His nervous eyes darted to Conar, then away. Putting his arm around Regan, Conar felt the boy's body go as taut as a freshly strung bow. He gently pulled the small body toward him and settled his chin on Regan's head.

  "Do you mind if I hold you?"

  Regan shook his head.

  Neither spoke for a long while, as if merely content to sit together, gathering their own thoughts.

  Outside the room, Shalu's deep bass boomed as he argued with Jah-Ma-El. Jah-Ma-El's pained retort made Conar smile.

  "They're too much alike," he concluded.

  Regan looked up and smiled hesitantly. "They don't think so."

  "That's why they're good friends. They're almost like brother's."

  "Did you get along with your brothers when you were little?"

  Conar laughed. "Brothers aren't made to always get along. You have to fight when you're a brother. It's the natural way of things."

  "How many brothers and sisters did I have besides Corbin and Wyn?"

  "There were ten, that I know of. You and your brothers are all that are left. Kaileel had the others killed." A muscle jumped in Conar's cheek. "The most important part of the score I have to settle with him is to make him pay for the slaughter of my children."

  "I hate him, too," Regan vowed. "He did evil to me."

  Conar closed his eyes. "I know. He'll pay for that, too."

  "Promise?"

  "I promise."

  "Conar?"

  "Papa," Conar corrected. "I would like you to cal
l me Papa."

  Regan's eyes lowered. "Love me, too, Papa," he said, voice breaking. "Please love me, too."

  Conar held the fragile body close to his own. "I do, Regan."

  "I'm sorry. I didn't--"

  "Shush. It's over and done. What matters is that we go forward." He tilted the little chin upward and gazed down with tear-blurred eyes. "You can make a place for yourself here, if you but try." He searched the boy's face. "Is that what you want?"

  Regan nodded.

  "Then you can stay."

  "What about Corbin? Will you bring him home from wherever you sent him?"

  "No. He's where he can be protected. I fear more for him than you, right now. You are with the Force. Kaileel might try to come after Corbin here. Your brother is safer out of Serenia."

  A light tap at the door broke the spell.

  Conar cleared his throat to speak. "Enter."

  Roget du Mer poked in his head. "Bre's leaving for Ciona. Do you want to say goodbye?"

  "I'll be right there." Conar withdrew his arm from his son and stood. "Is there anything else we need to settle between us?"

  The boy shook his head.

  "Then I'll see you at supper?"

  Regan blinked, as if not believing he would be allowed to sit at table with his father.

  Conar walked to the door and smiled at him. "Things will be all right, Regan. You'll see."

  * * * *

  Long after his father had gone, Regan sat on the bed, staring across the room. In his heart he felt a strange stirring, something he had never felt before, something almost painful.

  He wondered what it was.

  Chapter 23

  * * *

  Conar witnessed Teal and Jenny take their vows in the garden of Boreas Keep. Beside them stood Brelan and Amber-lea, who only moments before had pledged themselves to one another before the old priest. Conar's dark gaze went to the woman whose hand he held in his own. The tears Liza didn't attempt to hide made him smile. He wiped one runaway crystal from her face, and when their gazes met, he felt the sweet burden of her love lighting her eyes. His heart swelled with pride and he thought he would burst from joy. Lowering his head, he planted a soft kiss on her flushed cheek.

  ----

  Across the span of the garden, each member of the Wind Force had gathered to bring his own special blessing to the couples. They formed a circle of protection around the four lovers at the fountain. Smiles lit even the craggiest faces, and a tender heart showed among men who vowed they did not have one. A few, especially Roget and Jah-Ma-El, wiped moisture from their eyes, but they swore it was sweat from the infernal heat.

  ----

  Chand Wynth moved closer to Gezelle. He cautiously reached out for her hand, and when she took his fingers in hers, he smiled, a lump in his throat. He looked sideways and found tears easing down her cheeks. When she looked up at him, her happiness showed in her pretty eyes.

  ----

  Though Legion was happy for Teal and Brelan, he was sadder than he had ever been. He had no one now. Grice had his lady from Fealst, the banns soon to be posted there. Chand had Gezelle. Paegan talked incessantly about a girl he had met on their last voyage to one of the Inner Kingdom emirates. Shalu, Holm, Sentian, and Storm had been married for a long time. Thom had recently asked a village widow to wife. Roget was enamored of a young serving girl right there at Boreas. Chase and Tyne were both trying to decide between several women, while Rylan had surprised them all by bringing his secret wife to the Joining that morn.

  Even Ching-Ching had found a lady with whom to keep company; and rumor had it that Bent could usually be found several evenings keeping company with a middle-aged spinster in Boreas town. Jah-Ma-El, though he would not own up to it, was courting one of the girls from Ivor who had come to Boreas to work. And Legion had learned only the day before that Marsh crept out at night to meet a girl from a neighboring village.

  Legion had lost his only love and knew he would never love again. The day's beauty was dulled for him as he studiously avoided looking toward Conar and Liza.

  ----

  A cheer went up as the marriage bracelets were joined around the arms of the two men. It was a moment that signified the beginning of their joint loves--separate, but one. Well-wishers gathered around the couples, patting backs, stealing shy kisses from Jenny and Ammie, both no longer so timid of the rough-and-tough men who towered over them.

  "They're lovely, aren't they, Conar?" Meggie Ruck sniffed, wiping her rather bulbous nose with a fresh handkerchief as she looked at the two girls.

  "Not as lovely as the ladies by my side." He put his arms around both Liza and Meggie.

  "Oh, go on with you!" Meggie spluttered, playfully digging her elbow into his side.

  "He knows flattery will get him anything he wants, Meg," Liza remarked.

  "How well I know!"

  ----

  "Let's eat!" Cayn called, clasping his hands. "These young folk need their strength for tonight!"

  Escorting his new bride to the banquet Sadie and her womenfolk had prepared, Teal held Jenny's chair as she sat beside Amber-lea. He gazed down at Jenny, his heart aching in his chest. Then he looked across the table where Conar sat and smiled. For the first time, he truly understood the great love between Conar and Liza.

  The meal was everything the men could have hoped for and the women planned. Delicacies, many of them only heard about before that afternoon, covered the damask tablecloths. Pheasant and veal, roast pork and beef, baked ham and crisply battered porkchops, fried chicken, roast turkey, mullet, shrimp, lobster, lamb and duckling were heaped high on platters the size of a man's chest. Vegetables and fruits, pastries and cakes, tarts and ices ringed the massive oaken table like dainty decorations. Breads and puddings lay scattered as well as sweet cream and jellies, marmalades, and freshly churned and flavored butters. The men had supplied the wine and ale, beer and hasque--a fruit-flavored brandy--while the ladies had provided lemonade and punch.

  Teal had been feeding Jenny some of each dish, marveling at her child-like glee with each new delicacy. He teased her that the shrimp would make her warm and loving, and when she blushed, looking down the table at her father, Teal snapped his mouth shut. But Jenny had loved the shrimp, smiling with delight.

  When Teal speared a raw oyster, though, Jenny balked and pressed her lips together.

  "Ah, come on, Jenny-love. Try it. They say it is the best aphro..." He stopped, feeling Holm's narrowed gaze on him. "It's--it's good."

  "No. It's ugly."

  "But it tastes delicious!" Teal edged the fork closer to her lips.

  Everyone grinned, nudged each other, even took bets on whether du Mer could coax his new bride into trying the raw seafood.

  "I'll give you a gold chain if you'll try it," Jah-Ma-El joked, winking at Teal.

  Jenny shook her head. "I have a gold chain Milord Conar gave me, so I don't need another. I won't eat anything that looks like somebody with a bad cold coughed up."

  Brelan sputtered, spewing wine over the table. Amber-lea hurriedly wiped at his dripping mouth with her napkin.

  "Well, it does!" Jenny defended. "It looks like somebody's booger!"

  "It looks like snot on a rock," Chand maintained, obviously not liking the delicacy, either.

  Chaos broke over the table, the laughter so real and hardy, nothing could be heard above the din. Some people looked at the empty oyster shells on their plates and held their stomachs. A few clicked their tongues, wrinkling their noses with distaste, while one or two simply turned green and gagged.

  Teal didn't offer Jenny an oyster again.

  Nor did he eat another.

  * * * *

  Conar and Liza walked hand and hand in the fields beyond the keep, ever mindful of the mysterious hulking shadows that darted from tree to tree behind them.

  "Have you ever spoken to any of the Outer Kingdom men?"

  He shook his head. "I've spoken to them, but they've never answered." He looked over his shou
lder, squinting. "I just know they're there."

  Stopping by the silver stream that led back to the keep, Conar pulled Liza down beside him on the fragrant grass. He had not worn his normal black clothing, for Liza had told him it wasn't appropriate for the wedding. He had compromised with buff-colored breeches, but had still worn his black shirt. Now it was free of his breeches as he reclined on the grassy bank.

  "Remind you of anything?" he asked.

  She stretched out at an angle beside him, laying her head on his stomach. "When we first rode together from the Hound and Stag."

  He smoothed the flowing black hair from her forehead. "You said you had found your destiny. You were so sure."

  "I was." She laughed. "It was you who wasn't."

  "Well," he drawled in his best Chalean accent, "I was engaged to this wee ogress I had yet to meet, and was loathe to begin an affair with so comely a lass as the one I found myself riding beside. I was afraid I'd fall in love with her and not honor my contract with the Toad."

  "Yet you did honor your contract. Are you sorry?"

  "Not in the least. The ogress wasn't as bad as I thought."

  "The Toad! What a horrible name to have called me."

  "Oh, but I didn't know you then," he countered, ruffling her hair.

  "What evil nickname do you call me now behind my back?"

  His smile faded. "Heart of my heart."

  Liza sat up. "As you are mine. Not only my heart, but my soul and my life, Milord."

  Conar drew her down to him, raising his head to meet her lips. He savored their sweetness, his tongue playfully forcing its way into the tender cavern of her mouth. As the kiss deepened, their arms found one another. With fierce abandon, they began to make love in the bright wash of day on the green grass of Boreas Keep.

  ----

  "Look away," a gruff voice ordered.

  As one, five shadows turned their backs on the couple.

  ----

  An hour later, Conar and Liza meandered toward the keep, a bright sheen in their eyes, their skin flushed from lovemaking. With fingers entwined, they ventured past the trees where five unseen men stood sentinel.