Tremor

by Tonya Plank

  The whole team clapped wildly when Jett hobbled in on his crutches.

  He chuckled and gave a good natured nod. “You guys are the best. So, if Alessia didn’t already tell you, I’m still going to coach, but, ah, Arabelle and I are no longer going to dance the leads.”

  The room filled with a chorus of booos. “I know. I know. But we’re still going to make this team absolutely awesome—the best.”

  “But why aren’t you guys still dancing? That will heal in a few weeks,” Kendra said.

  “Well, we’re going to work on the routine as it is now and perfect it. Maybe in the future…”

  I knew it. I knew he would do this, tell people whatever he wanted to happen, with no regard to me.

  “But we just don’t know yet. Let’s focus on you guys. The judges already know the pros can dance. It’s your dancing the judges are going to be concentrating on for the marks.”

  I nodded. He was right to put the focus on them.

  We started over with the routine again, from the beginning. It was hard for Jett not to jump around when he corrected someone or demonstrated the proper way to do something. Several times he reached out to me, but I shook my head. We were not going to dance together, even if it meant he remained stationary and tried to show the move on me. His foot needed to heal, and I needed to be free of him. This wasn’t easy though. Seeing how much he wanted to move, and seeing him restricted—even though it wasn’t permanent—was heartbreaking. It made me wonder how horrid it would be if he became paralyzed permanently.

  “Hey, earth to Arabelle,” Kendra called out. “This feels a little off.” She was in the middle of the lift we’d rehearsed and she was doing it all wrong. Yes, right. I had to snap out of it.

  “Wait, put her down,” I ordered. “You need to have Josie put her arm around you and push down to help her hold herself up and take some of the burden off you, like I told you,” I said.

  “I know, but then Jett was saying it doesn’t look as cool as letting her have both arms out so she can look like a bird.”

  “No!” We’d been here before. Had he really said that? I looked at him and he could only shrug.

  “It would look better.”

  “But it’s too hard for them.”

  “Belle, we can do it. We really can,” Kendra piped up.

  Why did he have to make this harder? He’d put a thought in her brain and now it wouldn’t leave. He would never change. And I guess I wouldn’t either.

  “Not getting hurt is far more important. It’s number one. Because if you hurt your back, then you’re out for a long time, possibly forever. Back injuries are serious, Kendra.”

  “I know, but I have ways to protect—”

  “No!” I shouted. “We’re doing it my way.” The room was still. Everyone looked at me. I don’t know if I’d ever shouted in this studio. I inhaled deeply. “There’s another reason you want to do it my way,” I said, much more softly. “If Josie’s arm is around you, she can look into your eyes as you carry her. That’s romance, that’s poetry, and that tells a story. She doesn’t need to look like a bird. Why do you need to carry around a bird? That’s too abstract.”

  “Because she’s setting her free—” Jett began.

  “She doesn’t need to set anyone free!” I yelled again. “They’re both human. They’re in love. I just…argh!” I threw my hands up.

  It was becoming clear to me that now he didn’t care about opposing me since we weren’t dancing together anymore, and my demand that we seek compromise had been predicated on our partnership. With that off, our deal was dead too? Compromise! Ha! Us? What a joke. We would never see eye to eye. Never.

  Jett thought about it, then nodded. “I understand. But the judges reward a lift that they know is harder—”

  “The judges value artistry—”

  He held his palm to me. “I agree with you. I do, Belle. This makes sense. It works. We’re doing it Belle’s way, Kendra, you guys.”

  Was he really giving in? Or was it a ruse? Now I felt like I should compromise. “We can always use speed as our strength. We can use quick, complicated footwork to wow the judges. We’re good at that.”

  Jett nodded. “There are some upbeat sections. That’s true.” But I could tell he was a little let down.

  He turned the music on softly and counted out the beats and everyone did the steps as he called them out. The lifts really looked beautiful. Of course two of the couples—who were not romantic partners—laughed when he told them to look longingly into each others’ eyes, but Kendra and Josie and Judy and Paulo did it with meaning, and it was so sweet. And the guys—and Kendra since she was doing the guy’s role—looked much stronger since they weren’t struggling as much.

  Jett nodded. “It looks…okay, it looks pretty good.” I couldn’t tell whether he was just humoring me or whether he really thought so, but something—the way his eyebrows raised in surprise maybe—made me think it was the latter.

  Chapter 29

  Jett

  I had to admit when I really opened my mind I was beginning to see things Arabelle’s way. It did tell a little story about the characters in the dance by having the girl wrap her arm around the guy as he twirled her around, and have them look into each other’s eyes. It wasn’t as difficult as having the girls spread their arms about bird-like, but audiences didn’t know that. And who knew really what these judges would reward or not? I’d done ballet comps ad nauseam but I didn’t really know that much about ballroom judges. Arabelle had a lot more experience there than I did, so I’d have to trust that she knew her stuff.

  I was getting excited about how beautiful the choreography actually was when we focused more on the emotion and lyricism. Damn, I wanted to dance with Arabelle. But every time I got up and put pressure on that foot with that blasted awkward cast, I caught her glare, and remembered doctor’s warning. If I was going to heal, I needed to stay off of it. But man, how I wanted to do the lift Belle’s way, to let her wrap her arm around me and gaze into my eyes as I carried her around. It would actually be easier on my foot if we did the lift her way. Maybe I could talk her into doing it while I still had the cast. But those penetrating glares she threw my way whenever I got up made me realize that plea would have to wait for another day. For now I had to be happy she was still co-coaching.

  Chapter 30

  Arabelle

  It really kind of amazed me how Jett was letting me have my way and agreeing to focus on the art of the dance, rather than the stunts. Sure, he was pretty much out of commission with his broken foot, but he could have still fought me. I knew he was trying. He’d give me these puppy dog eyes and tell me how now that we were making things easier on the guy maybe he could lift me with the cast still on. I’d shoot him my No way, Jose look. He’d do the puppy dog eyes and I’d do the No way look, again. And again. I wondered how he’d be when he healed though. Part of me wanted to think he would see things my way—that he would focus on art and not on stunt work. Part of me wanted badly to think that. But I knew I was just kidding myself. I knew men like him. I’d been married to one.

  Sometimes, after team workout, he’d walk beside me, brush his arm against mine, and ask me to dinner. I’d shake my head. According to his contract with Beauty in Motion, he would be returning to the show after his injury healed. No way could I be a part of his life, either as a dance or a romantic partner. I just couldn’t. I had to say no to both.

  I wrote back to the Blackpool organizers, telling them I was sorry for the late notice but my partner and I would need to withdraw. I blamed it on his injury. I was heartbroken as I typed. This would be my first year missing Blackpool in almost a decade. It had been part of my life for my entire adulthood.

  * * *

  The day of the team competition arrived. I was quite proud of the team. We looked good and solid. We’d worked crazy hard and we were ready. We’d decided that I wouldn’t dance solo. So, since Jett wasn’t dancing, there wouldn’t be a professional lead. It would b
e all about the students. The students looked great, so I felt confident the judges would like us, and hopefully even favor us.

  Though we were in Vegas, Jett didn’t want to see any of his friends or his boss. He shot by his house to check up on things, but spent the rest of the time with us. Said he would rather focus on the team right now, not his “old life.” Interesting choice of words. I didn’t ask him to elaborate on whether he meant old life for the time being or whether he was thinking of permanently relocating. It didn’t matter since we were no longer a partnership. He was just a friend now. His life was not mine to ponder, to get my hopes up for, or worry myself over. He would always be a friend, wherever he spent his life. Sweet Mandi showed up to cheer us on, as did Lucia.

  We arrived early and did a couple warm-ups on the floor. I always liked the team to dance twice on the actual floor to get their bearings. You never knew when something would be slightly different from the studio’s performance space and throw someone off.

  During the second run-through I spotted Natalia and her team setting up across the dance floor. She had a couple students on her team that had left our studio earlier in the year. A woman named Cheryl who’d had a crush on Sasha, and was angry when he’d chosen Rory over her. And Luna, Cheryl’s friend, whom no one liked and was always throwing her money around, demanding things be her way. Good riddance to both of them, I thought.

  It made me a little nervous while Natalia, along with Luna and Cheryl, watched our team. A glare in Natalia’s eye seemed to be getting angrier by the second. After we were done rehearsing, we sat around our table and took a well-deserved breather. I made sure we had plenty of water and snacks.

  Before we went on, I gave everyone a final pep talk. “You guys looked so great out there. Seriously. Keep it up. Don’t let any pressure hold you back, make you nervous.” As I said the last word, I realized I hadn’t felt the tremor in weeks, since soon after Jett got out of the hospital. He must have thought the same thing because I caught him looking at my hand right then.

  And then, our positive little exchange was interrupted by Kendra’s “uh-oh.”

  What? I looked up to see Natalia approaching.

  “Arabelle,” she said, lifting her heavily drawn-in eyebrows. She stood above me, so she looked down.

  I stood up so as to be level with her.

  “Nice to see you again, Natalia,” I lied.

  She laughed. Cackled was more like it. “Yes, I’m sure it is. Anyway, your team looks pretty good. I wanted to tell you.”

  “Thank you,” I said, wondering what she was up to.

  “But I did notice that you and uh…” She motioned toward Jett, who seemed to be paying her no mind.

  “Jett,” I said.

  “Yes, him. The not-Willem.”

  At first a chill went through my entire body, but then I realized what she was doing. She was trying to shake me. And I wouldn’t let her.

  “Yes, Willem passed away. This is Jett.” My voice was angry but still low. I wasn’t going to let this get out of control.

  “Yes, I realize that. My memory isn’t that bad. And I remember how special he was to you, and I thought I even remember you saying you wouldn’t dance with another man, as he was so special.”

  I wanted to wring her neck. I had said that, to several dance journalists, right after Willem died, not knowing how I’d ever go on. I could feel some shaking returning to my arm, but it wasn’t the same kind of tremor as before. Not at all. It was based in anger, not fear or anxiety.

  “But that’s not even what I came over to say.”

  Like hell it wasn’t, I thought.

  “I was just going to say that I noticed that you two are not dancing with the team, as the central leads. I do see that he’s injured.” She peered down at Jett’s foot, making a faux sad face.

  “What’s your point?” I said bluntly, wanting her to leave us alone.

  “Well, I just wondered if that’s a good idea. Wouldn’t the right thing to do for the students have been to have another pair, like Sasha and Rory, take over? I mean, I’m pretty sure every other team has a pro pair leading. I’d hate to think you were letting your team lose by not taking responsibility.”

  “Rory’s like, nine months pregnant right now. And Arabelle is more than responsible, you donut-head,” Kendra barked. “Now get out of here and leave us alone, or I’m going to report you to the authorities for harassment.”

  “Yes, I’m sure they’d listen to you, of all people,” Natalia said under her breath but loud enough for all of us to hear, as she walked away. I didn’t know Natalia had known since she wasn’t living in California last year, but Kendra had had a run-in with Luna at a similar competition last year managed by the same organizers. Josie had worn the same costume as Luna. Of course Josie was far more beautiful and a much better dancer, and thus showed off the costume much better. This, of course, infuriated Luna, who got the pair booted from the competition. She’d claimed that Kendra and Jackie stole Luna’s idea after seeing her try on the dress in the ladies’ locker room. It’s forbidden in the rules for a pro dancer to steal another professional’s creative ideas, which include costume design, but there’s nothing in the rules about amateurs. But since Luna contributes quite a bit of money to the competition organizers, she got her way. Since Kendra was now on a team and dancing in a different competition, the organizers had let her back in. One look at Luna glaring at us from across the ballroom made me realize how word of that ridiculous incident from a year ago got around.

  I noticed Kendra was shaking too. Out of anger as well. “That b—”

  “Luna, who’s now on Natalia’s team, got us in trouble last year and got us banned from the Latin competition,” Josie said, nearly in tears, “over something ridiculously stupid that she totally lied about.”

  “Okay, ladies, come on,” Jett said. “This is exactly what they meant to do—rile us up right before we go on. Neither of you have anything to feel the least bit badly about. We’re better than they are and she knows it, which is why she had to come over here and try to sabotage us by screwing with us mentally. We have this in the bag. We do.”

  I somehow found myself laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” Jett asked, though he must have known since he started chuckling with me.

  “This type of thing always seems to happen at ballroom competitions. I mean in ballet there’s jealousy and competition for the best parts, but not these ridiculous cat fights where people are trying to get each other in trouble by making stuff up to the competition organizers. It’s all so childish. I can’t imagine this happening in your world.” I thought for a moment of what it must be like to be part of his world. For a split second, I wondered what my life would have been like had I kept dancing ballet and not gone off to ballroom all those years ago.

  He thought for a moment. “Yeah, there’s definitely fierce competition for leading roles and all, but the person with the best charisma and dance ability wins since we have audiences to please. You can’t just give a bad dancer top position because they have money. That’s unique to ballroom, I think.”

  Jett’s pep talk, along with our laughter at the childishness of it all, defused the situation. Everyone on the team nodded and snickered, like this was all par for the course. We had a team of almost-pros, and we could rise above this. We would not let Natalia’s bitter words get to us.

  We were scheduled to go on near the end of the competition, which was good because the judges wouldn’t feel compelled to mark down so as to leave room for better performances, and because the students got to see most of the other teams. Jett and I had watched most of the other teams rehearse and we knew we were a good, solid team in comparison, as did the students. We’d rehearsed hard, and, even without the tricks, our footwork was swifter and more complicated, the choreography was more challenging, and our routine told a sweet little romantic story between each partnership. With the other teams, the pro leads were way better than the students. The other team
s seemed to have relied on the pros. If I were a judge, I wouldn’t take that into consideration, because then it would be a competition of pros and not the students who’d paid for the performance training and for the chance to be competitors in their own right.

  Before the team went on, we formed a circle and locked hands. “Let’s kill it!” Jett said.

  Our music began, and I could tell from the get go it was going to be as perfect as possible. Sometimes you can just tell whether it’s going to go smoothly and be awesome, or there’s going to be trouble. I could tell it was going to be the first—and I was right. No flubs. Kendra and Josie looked into each other’s eyes during the lift, which they could do easily now after all the practice and after we’d simplified it, and it was so sweet. I saw Jett look at me out of the corner of my eye. I didn’t return his gaze, but I smiled.

  “You were right,” he whispered.

  “Thank you,” I mouthed back.

  The audience went wild after it was over and I could tell on the judges’ faces that we’d won. If no one else was better that is. Natalia’s team occupied the coveted last position.

  When their music started, I knew it was going to be a mess. I’d actually kind of known that when Natalia harassed us earlier. You wouldn’t do that unless you needed to. And, watching us nail our routine put them off their game even more. Their performance was pockmarked with screw-ups. They were small ones, but I could see the judges notice them. They did exactly what Jett had tried to do. They did tricks full-out. And the pros—Duke and Natalia—handled them very well of course, but they were too advanced for the students, and the lifts were wobbly. At one point, I worried the guy partnering Luna would drop her when she was well over his head, his arms extended fully above him. Despite her bitchiness, it made me cringe. No one wanted to see anyone get hurt. Natalia and Duke had definitely focused on themselves, to the exclusion of their amateur students.