I’d spent time with attractive men before, but this was different. It wasn’t just that he was handsome or that his body was crazy. It was what I sensed underneath: integrity, purpose and intellect. I loved a man with a big brain.
There was something else too, a wariness, a vulnerability in him that was at odds with his obvious physical strength. I couldn’t quite put a name to it, but it touched a part of me, the part of me that wanted to throw everything away for just a few stolen moments with him.
Was this what everyone meant by love at first sight? Up until now, I would’ve never admitted it could happen…but something was definitely going on between us. And I couldn’t explain it.
“It’s peaceful out here, isn’t it?”
I turned to look at him. His eyes were clear and his face serene. He looked so happy it was infectious. I nodded. Though I was excited about my future, for the moment, I wished time would stand still.
“It would’ve been nice to have met you when I first came to the island. I’ve been here for a while. Hard to believe I haven’t run into you before now.”
“You never said, why are you here? Vacation? Alone?”
His face tensed and he looked away from me. “It would’ve been nice to explore the island with you.”
I felt my face warm. I’m not sure how having more time could have helped the situation. I still didn’t have time for a relationship. Or friendship. Or whatever this was. “Well, at least we met.”
“Yes. At least there’s that.”
He reached for my hand again and held it gently on his thigh.
We sat together in silence and stared at the ocean.
If only she wouldn’t ask questions. So many questions. I didn’t want to lie. For once, I didn’t want to lie to someone. So I said nothing. It would only work for so long though. I couldn’t continue to dodge her question and just not answer her. But I would refuse to lie to her, for as long as I could.
I glanced down at my pocket. My phone had been buzzing non-stop. I didn’t care who was calling me I would not interrupt this moment. It wasn’t more important than what I was doing right now. No one needed to find me. For once, I just wanted to be lost. With Rain.
I loved my country. I loved my job. But it was not possible to effectively complete my missions, my assassinations, without it ripping out a part of your soul, without it doing permanent damage.
She was the one. I knew it with every fiber of my being. She was beautiful, sweet, intelligent, driven. She was the girl I’d always hoped to meet and never thought I’d find. That wasn’t a rational determination that was all gut. I could read people very well—it was a requirement of my profession really—and I liked what I saw in her.
I could only hope she was not as intuitive as I. I didn’t want her delving into my soul. She might not like what was there. But that could change. I could change with her. That I sensed strongly.
I didn’t feel like an animal with her. I was human, normal. Just a guy with his girl. Like I was wearing a letterman jacket and we were slurping malts at the corner drugstore.
Okay, that much was a fantasy, but I could tell with her I had a chance at normalcy. I just couldn’t tell her about my job. And I couldn’t show her my dark side. But I could make her fall in love with me, somehow. She was halfway there, I could just tell.
Shadows danced around us and I noticed, finally, that the sun was setting. “Guess we’ve been out here for a while. Ready to head back?”
She smiled ruefully. “Not really. But sure.”
I wasn’t ready to leave either. Didn’t want to go back to Zelie. To my world. Here, with her I was a nice, normal guy with a pretend job and a pretend backstory.
We headed back down the pier.
“How old are you, Rain?”
“Twenty-three. You?”
“Twenty-seven.” Gazing upon her face, I took in the still innocent eyes and sweet, naïve smile, wishing it would never change. By the time I’d turned twenty-three, I’d been around the world several times, gone on several deployments, done a lot of stuff I tried not to think about.
I pushed the memories down and thought only of the present moment. The sun was shining pure golden light over white sand and crystal blue water. The setting was perfect and I wouldn’t ruin it by thinking about the fucked-up shit I’d done. “So, I’ve missed twenty-three years of your life. Fill me in on what I missed.”
She stopped in her tracks, mouth open. “You’re not serious.”
“As a heart attack. I want to know everything there is to know about you.”
“And then you’ll reciprocate?”
So she’d noticed. I maintained eye contact then because shifting eyes was a sure sign of lying, and I needed her to believe that I was an honest, decent guy. With her, I could be. Potentially.
“Sure. I’ll tell you whatever it is you want to know.”
We began moving again. “Okay, buddy. You asked for it. I was born in June…”
By the time we reached her hotel, I knew that she took ballet as a girl, had no allergies, was student council president three years in a row and played Desdemona in her high school’s reenactment of Othello. She’d had her first kiss at seventeen. And she practiced yoga daily.
I’d been able to keep my life a closed book for the moment. The less she knew about me, the better. Sometimes it was difficult keeping all the lies straight. I really wanted to be honest with her. Well, as much as I could.
“I’m staying there.” I pointed to my hotel, a massive white building that sprawled over several acres of beachfront property.
Kael gazed at the glass and chrome entrance to the resort. “I’m supposed to leave in the morning.” He hesitated. “This will sound weird but I don’t suppose there’s any way I can spend the rest of the evening with you?”
I pushed my sunglasses onto my head, so I could look him directly in his eyes. My heart was pounding and it was difficult to breathe, but I tried for nonchalance. “We just met. Don’t you think we’re rushing things?”
Okay, I know I just asked that question, but inside, my heart was doing flip-flops. This guy was doing wild things to me, to my mind. I didn’t want him to leave. Which was ridiculous because we’d just met, and I didn’t need to start anything with anyone at this particular moment in my life.
He laughed. “I don’t know what else to do. We’re both leaving in the morning. I know. Crazy right?”
I nodded. Yeah, crazy. But it felt right. “Why don’t we both go back to our rooms, change and meet somewhere for dinner?”
“The restaurant in your hotel?”
Then I remembered. I already had a reservation for dinner with my roommate. But I’d see if I could add a third. I was pretty sure Charlotte wouldn’t mind the addition of a handsome hunk for dinner.
“I’ll see you in an hour.”
And we just stood there for a moment, like two kids in high school gazing into each other’s eyes. The moment was ruined when Kael’s phone vibrated.
He smiled apologetically at me. “I have to take this. One moment.”
He turned his back to me and then took a few steps away.
“Luke? What do you want?”
I had six missed calls on my phones and several texts from him. He wasn’t a stupid guy. Obviously I was busy.
“I was about to send a search party, bro.” He laughed. “Thought you’d gone AWOL. But now I see you’ve just been kicking it with a pretty girl. That’s the babe from earlier, right? Miss red bikini?”
I looked up immediately and scanned the area. He was several yards away with a baseball cap on. He sat on a bench slumped over his phone, busily texting or playing a game. Which was all a ruse. Effective but fake nonetheless. He’d have an earpiece in his ear.
Without looking my way he feigned tipping his hat.
“What are you doing, surveillin
g me?”
“Nah, nothing like that. You know we go way back. You’re like my brother. I’m just making sure your head is on straight and in the game.”
He was good. His lips didn’t even move when he spoke. You’d never guess he was carrying on a phone conversation by looking at him.
I began walking toward him then stopped. Rain was behind me. Waiting.
“I appreciate your concern, Luke,” I began, voice dripping with sarcasm. “But I’m fine.”
“So is your friend.” He whistled. “A real beauty. Just check in every one once in a while, bro. Or I’ll worry.” He paused for a moment. “Oh yeah, make sure you don’t get her number. You wouldn’t want to get her caught up in our lifestyle, would you?”
I looked up to shoot him the bird, but he was already up, moving and then lost in a crowd of tourists on the beach.
There was a soft tap on my back and I jumped, ready to strike. But it was only Rain, staring at me with wide eyes.
“Uh, were you about to hit me?”
“No, of course not. I just have—my reflexes are…”
“From your martial arts training?” she suggested.
I nodded. “Yes. Precisely. Sorry about that.”
“I was just making sure you were okay. Your call seemed to upset you.”
“Oh, yeah, that.” I looked in the direction that Luke had gone and sighed. “Just work stuff. Nothing important.”
She followed my gaze down the beach. “Maybe we shouldn’t meet tonight for dinner. You seem distracted.”
“No. That was my buddy Luke. He just called to remind me that I had a lot of work coming up.”
She smiled hesitantly. “Okay. Then we’re still on for tonight?”
“Of course. I’ll see you at seven.”
Chapter Three
The door slammed against the wall and Zelie entered the suite. “Where’ve you been?” she pouted. “I finished my Thai yoga massage and mani/pedi hours ago.”
Her hair was freshly brushed, and she was ready for dinner in a black cocktail dress and heels.
“I told you this morning I’d be hanging out with Luke today.”
“Would that be the same Luke that called the room looking for you?” She crossed her arms, her eyes narrowed into dark pinpoints of suspicion. “I’m ready to go.”
I checked the cufflinks of my suit jacket. “I have plans.” I glanced at her in the mirror. Watched her face turn pink. “Sorry.”
“What do you mean, you have plans? For dinner? What about me? We have a reservation, or have you forgotten?”
Unfortunately, I had already forgotten her. I didn’t want to see her again. I didn’t want to be with her again. She was nothing to me but a means to an end. Thank God, she was leaving for Paris in the morning.
But I couldn’t be cruel to her, not in this way. She knew what I was and still cared about me. She allowed me to use her body when I needed to banish the darkness. I owed her something, at least, for that.
I turned around to face her. “You look beautiful tonight. Did I fail to tell you?”
Her face softened. “Yes, you did. This is a new, do you like it?”
“It’s lovely.”
I would not miss my evening with Rain, not for anything in the world. I gazed at Zelie’s expectant face and thought of Luke. He could see Miss Jamaica later. “Go to your reservation. I’ll have Luke meet you, you won’t eat alone.”
“But I’ve never met him.” And then her eyes widened. “Wait. If you’re not meeting him, then who—”
“He’ll be a perfect gentleman, you don’t have to worry. He knows you’re with me. Just make sure you behave.”
“Of course,” she smiled demurely. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”
* * * * *
“What happened to you?”
I entered our suite beaming. Charlotte was not amused. With her blonde hair curled in large ringlets and falling to her shoulders and a pretty, pale blue sundress on, I could tell she was ready for dinner and I was late.
“How’s your ankle? You were limping last night when you came in.”
“Forget my ankle. What happened to swimming with the dolphins?” She plopped down on a couch, her emerald green eyes narrow with suspicion. “We had plans.”
“I met a guy,” I swooned. “On the beach.”
She sat up. “Really? A local? A hot one with a strong Jamaican accent?”
“No. He’s from…” I stopped to think. I didn’t know where he was from. He hadn’t mentioned it, and I hadn’t asked. “He’s a tourist, like us.”
“And?”
“And, I’m probably going to marry him. One day.”
She rolled her eyes. “Really? Just that fast.”
“A woman just knows these things. Didn’t you get that feeling with Jax?” Jax was Charlotte’s boyfriend. They’d dated for two years and gotten engaged but hadn’t set a date.
“I guess so. So when do I get to meet the future Mr. Rain Howard? So, how is this going to work exactly? Where does he live? Does he know you’re moving to New York? Long distance relationships rarely work and you’ll need to focus on your studies.”
“Thanks, Mom. But I can handle myself.”
She shook her head. “I can tell you right now, logistically, this is not going to work.”
“Can you at least meet him first before you shower doom and gloom on my happiness?”
“I’m telling you right now, you’re taking on too much. First, you’ve decided to go to,” she wrinkled her nose in distaste, “cooking school. And now you want to start a new relationship?” She shrugged. “You’re hardly behaving like the rational Rain Howard I know and love.”
“Maybe I’m tired of behaving rationally.”
She raised one eyebrow and twisted her lips. “That sounds healthy. Glad to know you’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“You’ve been acting weird lately. This is our last night in Jamaica. What’s your problem?”
She shrugged moodily. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Whatever. She wasn’t ruining tonight for me. “You’ll see him at dinner. So, how’s your ankle?”
She wiggled her ankle around in her platform wedges. “It’s a little tender. I can walk but I’ll have to lay off running for a while.” She grinned. “Darn it. Can’t make it to the gym with you.”
“Are you sure you’re alright? You seemed…troubled last night after your group hike through the forest.”
She pursed her lips. “I saw something disturbing.”
“Like what? This is Jamaica.”
“I’m pretty sure I just said I don’t want to talk about it. Get dressed so I can meet this guy.”
I smiled at Charlotte, happy to oblige, and skipped to the shower.
Twenty minutes later, I decided to wear my hair down. Because of the humidity, it was difficult to keep my hair straight, but I’d applied enough heat and product to my hair that it was probably afraid to revert back to its natural wavy state.
I’d plucked lavender orchids growing on the grounds and pinned them behind my ear. A light slick of apricot-colored lip-gloss, a smudge of eyeliner, mascara and I was ready. I stepped into my sexiest pair of heels and grabbed my clutch.
Holding hands and giggling like schoolgirls, Charlotte and I made our way downstairs and followed the maître d’ to our table. We ordered drinks, a daiquiri for Charlotte and a piña colada for me. We were perusing the appetizer menu when the maître d’ appeared again.
“Madame, your third party?”
Charlotte was busy texting her fiancé. Eyes still on her phone, she raised one finger in that give me a second gesture.
I looked up to see Kael trailing the host. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I tried not to show my joy at seeing him again. It was too much. I felt like I w
ould explode with happiness, and he didn’t need to know just yet how he affected me.
He wore a simple, yet stylish black suit, a crisp white shirt and a light blue tie. His shirt contrasted sharply with his tan and his eyes appeared bluer against the darkness of his suit.
“Ladies?” He pulled out his chair and sat down.
I turned to my best friend. “Charlotte, this is Kael. He’s the one I met today on the beach.”
She hit send on her phone, set it down on the table and looked up with a pleasant smile on her face. “So, you’re…” Her words died in her throat. She turned to me, her face paler than I’d ever seen it. “What’s he doing here?”
“His name is Kael. You were so busy telling Jax how much you missed him that—hey, are you okay? Not to be cliché, but you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
The waiter hovered near and I ordered an Old Fashioned, a cocktail made with Bourbon and turned to Rain and her roommate. I extended my hand across the table.
“Hello, Charlotte. It’s nice to meet you.”
It was the blonde who’d stumbled upon me as I was wrestling the target to the ground. She knew I’d killed the man.
And now, she sat across from me and beside the girl of my dreams. The one time I didn’t kill all witnesses…fuck.
I know that the features on my face were composed into a pleasant expression, however my eyes bored into hers. She had to get the message. Keep your mouth shut. Don’t ruin this for me.
She ignored my outstretched hand, almost knocked over her glass and stood up.
I completely believed in the power of the mind and I willed her to telepathically hear me. I am not a monster. Please believe me.
“Charlotte, what’s wrong with you?” Rain stood with her friend. “Do you want me to go with you?”
“No, no, I’ll be fine.” She ventured a stricken look at me.
A coldness crept through my spine as a mixture of fear and revulsion contorted her face.
“I-I think I’m going to be sick.” She stumbled toward the bathroom.
Rain tried to smile. “I’m sorry. This is embarrassing. I don’t know what’s wrong. She’s been acting a little strange. I’d better check on her.” She touched my shoulder lightly. “Order us an appetizer, will you? We’ll be right back.”
Tell Me No Lies: The Black Orchid, Book 1 Page 3