She looked over her shoulder at me, tossing her long braid. “Why so quiet?”
I racked my brain for something clever, funny or maybe just honest to say. Nothing came to me. Try as I might, I couldn’t help myself. I was envisioning her writhing on my bed, struggling against the ropes tied tightly around her wrists. I was imagining her screaming against the silk gag in her mouth, cries of pleasure and pain mixed together.
Sick bastard. I felt my cock move in agreement.
I ignored the sinking feeling in my stomach. She might not be able to handle my kind of love.
Smile firmly in place, I caught up with her. “Surf or turf. Just wondering what’s on the menu for tonight.”
She reached for my hand.
We walked quietly, hand in hand down an abandoned stretch of sand. He was capable of great silences for long stretches of time. I was usually talkative, but I felt comfortable with his reserve. But it made me wonder what he was thinking about.
“We don’t have to go in town tonight for dinner if you’d prefer to be alone.”
At the word alone he seemed to pause, inhale, as if I’d said something improper. He gazed at me without speaking.
“Or-rrrr, we can not be alone.” I laughed awkwardly.
“There’s a market in town, I thought I could pick up some scallops, rice, pineapple and coconut and make something local.”
“That’s right, you like to cook.” An expectant grin blossomed on his face. He happily kicked a large seashell. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more perfect.”
I gave him a sideways glance. “You think I’m perfect?”
He shrugged. “Damn near.”
I sighed. Maybe this could work after all.
I watched him while he slept, lying on his stomach. There’d been nothing but chaste kisses on my forehead. Soft pecks on my cheeks. Not even another simmering, steamy tongue-in-the-mouth kiss like on the beach.
It was almost like he saw me as his sister or something. Except for the way he looked at me when he didn’t think I noticed. Then he looked as if he wanted to devour me. His eyes lingering on my breasts, my hips…
Then nothing. My heart ached. The area between my thighs throbbed. But I remained silent. So did he.
He slept in a pair of soft black pants with a drawstring. And not much else. His torso was bare and I could see the outline of every well-developed muscle in his back, shoulders and biceps. An arm lay over his face, but I knew in repose, despite the powerful build of his body, he looked like an angel.
He stirred in the bed beside me as the sun crept across the sky bringing dreaded light to our room. I say dreaded, because every time the sun rose it meant another day. Another day closer to when we both left the island and each other.
I was afraid. Now that I’d met him, I was actually afraid to leave him. Then, a thought occurred to me. What if he was waiting for me to make the first move?
I was not completely crazy. I know he felt the same. He hadn’t said it in so many words, but he was here. And he hadn’t touched me. This wasn’t about sex. This was about so much more.
I scooted out of bed and stood up, stretching. Today, we were taking a helicopter to Ochos Rios and visiting a coffee plantation. Jamaica’s Blue Mountain coffee was some of the best coffee in the world, and I couldn’t wait to see where it came from.
I grabbed my clothes and headed for the bathroom.
* * * * *
I’d been awake for an hour when Rain finally left the bed to take a shower. With my arm across my face, I could pretend to be asleep and watch her. A part of me hoped she’d sleep naked, so I could look at her while she slept, but the other part of me, the sane rational part thanked the heavens her body was barely covered in an insubstantial white baby doll nightie.
For the last few days, it had taken the strength of freaking Hercules not to throw her down on the bed, the floor, the table, the sand—wherever we happened to be—and make love to her.
I didn’t want to fuck her, I wanted to make love to her but in my way. And I couldn’t. I couldn’t trust myself to try and have missionary-style, vanilla sex with her either. Because I knew when I saw her naked, when I tasted her wetness, it would be over and the darkness would descend.
I didn’t want that with her. I didn’t want the darkness to be a part of our relationship. Not when she was pure light. I couldn’t do that to her. Or to us. Unfortunately, in order to protect her from myself, I couldn’t touch her. But I wanted to, I needed to. I was pretty sure she wanted more from me. She was probably confused as to why I’d done nothing more than hold her hand and run my fingers through her hair.
The water stopped and I sat up. The door opened and Rain stepped out, wearing nothing but a towel. Her hair was wet and snaked down her back in sensuous curls and waves. Under the covers my cock was at full attention.
“Rain?” I said, afraid, really afraid of what was going to happen next. “Are you going to get dressed?”
She could barely make eye contact with me. “I was thinking, maybe we could just stay in bed today?”
I stood, found my t-shirt and pulled it on. “The helicopter is waiting for us.” I moved around the room, putting space between us.
Her face froze into a smile, wavering on the verge of concern. “You don’t want to, you don’t want…”
I grabbed some clothes and rushed past her to the bathroom. “I’m just going to take a shower.” A cold shower. An icy, freezing Antarctic-cold shower. I kissed her on the cheek, hopefully to prevent her from taking my actions the wrong way, and closed the door behind me. I locked the door, yanked my pants down to my thighs and grabbed my cock jerking it up and down.
I thought about how she looked in her towel, still wet from the shower. And probably wet for me. I closed my eyes, manipulating my cock until waves of pleasure coursed through my body. I tried to think of making sweet, soft, gentle love to her. Us in missionary style, me gently kissing her face, her moaning in ecstasy, but that shit wouldn’t do the trick.
A different image kept interrupting my thoughts like a highjacked television signal. Her on her knees, me behind her with my forearm across her windpipe, slowly pushing the breath from her as I slid my cock inside her wetness, slowly, so gently until she begged for more, and then I switched up and pounded her until she was hoarse from screaming.
Yeah. That’s the image I wanted. I jerked harder until my legs trembled and my knees went weak. In my mind, she came right before she passed out, her body going limp in my embrace. Then I came so hard that I ejaculated across the room.
Jesus-freaking-Christ. What was I, a damned sixteen-year-old kid? When was the last time I jacked off? I cleaned off the mirror, turned on the water and stepped inside.
Ten minutes later she was waiting for me when I opened the bathroom door. Fully dressed, she sat primly on a chair, legs crossed, face blank.
“Rain?” I sat on the bed across from her. I had to say something to her. I know I’d hurt her, and that wouldn’t stand.
She looked up. “Ready to go?”
I placed my hand on her knee. “Not yet. We need to talk. Obviously.”
“Nope, we’re good.” She rose stiffly, made a move for the door.
I grabbed her hand, forced her to stand still. “Let’s talk. Me first.” I gestured toward the chair. “Please.”
She sat down but refused to look me in the eyes.
“You’re beautiful. You’re sexy. You’re smart and there is nothing I want more than to make love to you.”
She looked at me then. “Then why—”
I pressed a finger to her lips. They were like satin and I wanted to push my finger between them and feel the wetness of her mouth. But I didn’t.
“I want to take things slow.”
“But we’re leaving soon, and—”
I pressed my finger to her lip
s again. They were so moist, I wanted to nibble. I shook the image away. “I’m being respectful, Rain.”
“Oh.” Her face turned pink and she sat down. “You think I’m a slut, don’t you?” She covered her eyes with both hands. “You’re only being a gentleman.”
I removed her hands from her eyes and held them in mine. “That’s not what I meant at all. This is more about me than anything.” And that, at least, was the truth. “I don’t want to screw this up. I’m showing you…I need for you to know that this is about more than a physical attraction. What I want from you, it’s not just your body.”
She leaned toward me. “I know that.”
“I know it’s crazy to talk like this since we just met. I just don’t want us to look back on this time as a vacation fling. When we leave the island, I want to see where this goes.”
A smile spread across her face. “I want that too.” Teeth pressed into the flesh of her lips. “How long do you want to wait?”
“Please believe me, there is absolutely nothing more I want than to make love to you.”
Her eyes, a swirl of gold and rust glistened with unshed tears.
Shit.
“I know, but we’re leaving soon and I just want—I mean, I thought…”
I leaned forward and silenced her with my mouth. I touched her hair lightly, stroking it as I kissed her face, her cheeks, her lips.
I burrowed my nose into her neck and inhaled her sweet scent. My tongue trailed a moist line down to her collarbone. My head swam with sensation and all I wanted to do was pick her up, lay her on the bed and peel her clothes away until she was naked. But I didn’t.
I willed my cock to play dead and stood up. “Soon. Very, very soon.”
Chapter Five
She appeared at my door, backlit by the rising sun. At this angle, I could easily see through the white nightie she wore. She wasn’t wearing a bra and I could see the shadow of her nipples through the flimsy material.
Once again, my cock was alert and at the ready. I shifted in my seat, hoping she didn’t notice the tenting action of my pants.
She rubbed her eyes sleepily. “Morning.” She looked slightly confused, probably to see me sitting at the desk and not in bed.
“Good morning,” I said with an enthusiasm I did not feel. I rose to greet her and kissed her on the cheek. “There’s been a change of plans.”
“Oh?” She blinked a few times. “Not going to the Ras Natango gallery?”
I tried to ignore the look of distress changing the alignment of her features and spoke firmly. “Breakfast is on its way,” I smiled at her, “the porter will be up at eight-thirty to get your bags,” forced another cheery grin, “and the driver will be here at nine to take you to the airport.”
“But, I thought—”
“I have an early meeting that I can’t reschedule and then I’ll be flying out immediately afterwards.” I rushed the words out before I could feel the pain of lying to her.
“To Spain.”
“To Spain.”
“When did all this happen? It’s not even 6:00 a.m.?”
“I’ve been up for an hour at least.” I nodded toward my open laptop and shrugged. “Work never ends.”
“I changed my travel plans. I’ve missed orientation. You said we could stay through the end of the week. Maybe even longer.” She closed her eyes and sighed.
“I don’t want it to end, but we both know it must.” I smiled at her, even though inside I felt sick. “The real world beckons.”
She made a soft mewling sound, wrapped her arms around me, tucked her head under my chin and nuzzled her face on my chest. “What happens now?”
“I’ll be in Spain for a few weeks or months, however long it takes to get the job done. You’ll be enrolling in school.”
She sighed. “And then?”
“We will stay in touch. I’ll write you. I’ll email you. I’ll call you, and when we can swing it, we’ll see each other. I’ll come to where you are, and sometimes you’ll come to me.” I cupped her chin with my hand and brought her face to mine. “We’ll make this work.”
I kissed her lips, sweetly, gently.
She kissed me back. “You promise?”
I gazed into her beautiful gold-flecked brown eyes. “I promise.”
And then she was gone.
I had lied. My meeting was later. My plane left later. I just couldn’t bear to take her to the airport, pretending to be happy and wave goodbye as she walked away from me.
Theodore, the bartender, handed me a bottle of cold Red Stripe beer with a wide grin, and I downed half in one gulp. I missed her so much it hurt. But it had to be done. I didn’t have a regular job. Didn’t live in a regular place, and I wasn’t a regular guy. It was all make-believe. But I was committed to making it work.
Two beers and a plate of jerk chicken later, I glanced at my phone. It was time. And then I looked up. Mark was right on time. The only person on the beach in a flowered shirt, khaki pants, ghostly white legs and arms and a sunburned pate.
I extended my hand. “What brings you out here, Mark?”
He shook my hand and sat down. “Not good news, I’m sorry to stay.”
I gestured for Theodore to bring Mark a beer. “It must be pretty serious for you to leave the cushy confines of your Reston estate.”
He accepted his beer from the bartender and took a swig. “We’ve relocated your parents.”
Relocated. That was The Group’s version of the witness protection program. In the rare cases that an operative became compromised and his family was in danger, they were given new identities, money necessary to start over, new careers and a new residence.
“What happened?”
“Your last target, his son has placed a bounty on your head and anyone you love.”
“So my parents are safe. Thank you. That was fast work.”
“They’re in Bolivia right now, but we’ll eventually move them to Canada when the heat is off. Don’t worry. They’re happy. They’re good. Just don’t contact them until I let you know it’s safe. Until the threat has been removed.
“Of course, you can best believe someone has already been sent here to watch you. You can count on that, so consider your every move from the moment you killed the target and the body was recovered tracked.”
Rain.
“We’ll secret you off the island, get you to Spain. From then on, you’re to follow the Evado Protocol.
Evado. Latin for evasive. I nodded, though I felt sick to my stomach. Rain.
“Until we figure out who is hunting you and remove them, you’re not safe. You’re to effectively disappear. Starting when I leave this bar.”
Mark looked up and glanced at Theodore hovering by.
He smiled our way. “You need something, mon? Another drink? Some food, maybe?” Mark shook his head and the bartender looked at me. “And you my friend, where is your pretty girl?”
“Gone.” I shot him a blank look. “Flew out today.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “That’s why you look so glum, huh?” The bartender moved to help another customer.
Mark pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, slapped them on the bar and lowered his voice. “Your instructions are on a microchip embedded in the third cigarette from the right. Someone could already be in your room waiting for you, so don’t go there. We’ll have your luggage shipped to you.”
I shrugged. “Only have clothes back there. Nothing important.” Just memories.
“Fine. When you leave here, go directly to the taxi stand in front of the hotel. Take the fifth cab in line. Make sure the driver is wearing a green hat backwards. He’s one of ours. He’ll get you to our company jet.” He finished his drink and signaled for another. “Who’s the girl?”
“Nobody. Just a chick I picked up on the beach. We fucked. You know how
it goes.”
“Fuck buddy or not, whoever’s watching you doesn’t know that. They’ll have someone watch her for a while, make sure you don’t show up at her house, so they can off you in her bed. Her too, just for the hell of it.” He stared at me. “Might want to warn her.”
“Don’t know her last name, and didn’t get her phone number.”
“Yeah? You seem awfully sad for a guy that’s been relaxing in the islands for months.” He lowered his voice. “After your kill, I expected to find you in high spirits.” Mark slapped me on the back. “The Group is pleased.”
“Pleased enough to let me go early?”
He shook his head. “You signed a seven-year contract. The Group is serious about getting a return on their investment in you. So, what’s your problem?”
“You just told me there’s a price on my head and my parents are in South America.”
“Yeah, but that’s just a normal day in the office for you. I’m going to ask you again. Who’s the girl?”
“I’m telling you, she was just a lay.”
“I hope for your sake and hers, that’s true. The Group doesn’t want its operatives with attachments. Of course, if you contacted her, you’d basically be signing her death warrant.”
I picked up the cigarettes and shoved them in my pocket. I finished my beer and slapped him on the back. Hard. “See you around, Mark.”
Looking over my shoulder once, I headed for the taxi stand. I couldn’t contact Rain. I couldn’t call her, email her, text her or write her, not until I put enough distance between us. Not until I was sure the threat was gone. And then there was The Group. My employer. Yeah, I’d agreed not to get married, not to have children, not to visit my family more than twice a year, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t have a life outside of my job.
I’d read the fine print. I’d had a lawyer look at it. I could have a girlfriend if I wanted to. The Group wouldn’t be happy about it, but as long as I did my job, what could they do? I just had to find the girl that I wanted, and who wanted me back. I’d found her. One in a fucking million. I aimed to keep her.
Tell Me No Lies: The Black Orchid, Book 1 Page 5