"I am laughing because you told me what I most wanted to hear, beloved." He drew her into his arms against her protest. "I love you, Mara, and I want you as my bride. If I ask it of you, would you leave your home and family and journey to my home to live with me as my wife?"
Mara could not believe she had heard correctly. She loved this man with all of her heart and could think of nothing she wanted more than to spend the rest of her life with him, but there were many unanswered questions that she needed the answers to.
"You have asked me a question. Now I have some things that you must clear up for me."
He smiled and led her back to the bench where he sat down and then pulled her down beside him. "Ask what you will of me, Mara, and I will answer. I want there to always be truth between us."
She asked the most obvious question first. "How did you learn to speak English so quickly? You speak so well, one would think you had spoken English for years."
He smiled. "I have in fact spoken English since I was a small boy. I was taught by a man named O'Malley. The only good he ever did in his life was to verse me so well in your language. I have come to believe it was fate that brought him to my home. Does that answer your question?"
"Are you telling me that you understood everything that I said to you when we were together last spring?"
"I remember every word you ever said to me. Some of them were quite provocative."
"How can this be! When I think of some of the things I said to you, I could die of embarrassment," she said, covering her face with her hands.
He pulled her into his arms and cradled her head against his wide chest. "I particularly liked it when you told me how handsome you thought me."
She nestled her head against him, not wanting to break contact with him. "Why did you not talk to me and let me know you could speak English? You took unfair advantage of me. Had I known you understood me, I would never have said some of the things I did to you."
"I know, beloved. It was most unfair of me." He rested his chin on top of her head. "You cannot know how much I wanted to talk to you, but I was on a sacred quest, and it was forbidden to speak until I returned home. Can you understand how I felt, loving you, and not being able to tell you?"
She raised her head. "You were forbidden to talk?"
"Yes, Mara, but if you could have read my eyes, they would have told you of my love for you. I did finally break the silence when I told you my name. It seemed important to you at the time."
"How did you find me?"
"I went to the fort where I left you . . . and persuaded one of the soldiers to tell me where to locate you."
"You went to a lot of trouble to find me. Why?"
"I could tell you many reasons. Some of them you would find hard to believe. But the most important one is I love you and do not want to live without you. I am only half a man without you. You haunt my dreams and my waking hours." He brushed his lips against her soft cheek. "Say you want me, Mara. Come with me and be my love for as long as we both live," he whispered against her lips.
Her body trembled. "I want to be with you, Tajarez. I have been so unhappy thinking you did not want me."
"I wanted you, beloved. You will never know how much. Will you come with me to my home?"
"I would go anywhere with you, live anywhere you asked me to. I cannot bear a life without you."
His lips covered hers hungrily, and she returned his kiss with all the love that was in her heart. Raising his head, Tajarez pushed her away gently. "Some day you will understand what you are doing to me. I must not kiss you again or I may not be able to stop. Oh, beloved, you have the power to tear a man's insides out." He stood up and walked a few paces from her. He had suddenly become very solemn. "Mara, I do not know the customs of your people. If I asked a maiden of my tribe to become my bride, I would have to first bring her before my father for his approval. If he approved, I would then ask her father. You must tell me what I should do."
Happiness was overflowing in Mara's heart. She could not believe she was not dreaming. "You have already passed the first step when you asked me if I would marry you. The next step will be more difficult. You must ask the permission of my brother, David, since he is the eldest."
"Will he give his permission, do you think? I know if you were my sister I would not give you lightly to a man I did not know. And I know the little respect the white man has for the Indian."
"I have to be honest with you, Tajarez. I do not think David will easily give his permission. He will not want me to marry you."
"What will you do if he says no, Mara?"
She rose and walked over to him. "If he says no, I will go with you anyway. I love you." She slipped her arms around his waist and felt a tremor shake his tall frame.
"My beloved, the love I have for you is so great. I cannot believe you would go against your family to be with me. I know the love you have for your brothers, therefore I am humbled by your sacrifice. If you will put your trust in me we may gain your brothers' blessing, for I cannot take you against their wishes. You must trust me.”
"What will you do, Tajarez?"
"Tomorrow I shall send one of my men to escort your brothers to my camp. Will they come?"
"Do you not think it would be better for you to come to David? He would be glad to receive you since you saved my life. I know he would."
"I asked you to trust me, Mara. Will you have them come to my camp tomorrow?"
"Y . . . yes, if you think it is best."
His lips found hers in a kiss so tender it was almost reverent. Then he raised his head to the heavens in a silent prayer of thanksgiving that he had found her and she had said she would be his bride. There might be trouble where her brothers were concerned, but he would try to win them over. He knew Mara said she would go with him without the approval of her brothers, but he wanted her complete happiness, and she would never be completely happy if her brothers disapproved of their marriage.
"May I come to your camp tomorrow also?"
"No, Mara. It will be best if you remain here. Besides," she could hear the smile in his voice, "you would be too much of a distraction. How could I concentrate on anyone else with you present? I must go now, beloved. It is late, and you are tired. Look for my man tomorrow, just after noon. His name will be Palomas, and he will guide your brothers to my camp."
"Tajarez, I still have many questions to ask you." She did not want him to go. She wished she could stay in the garden with his arms around her all night.
"All of your questions will be answered tomorrow, beloved. I cannot trust myself to remain with you any longer. You are too desirable, and I love you too much." He kissed her cheek, and when she protested, he smiled. "I give you the kiss of the brother, which you once gave me, remember? I dare not hold you in my arms again."
"Why? I do not understand."
He led her toward the house and smiled to himself. "You would understand if you were a man, Mara." When they reached the back door, he touched her cheek softly. "Good night, my beloved. Dream of me." Backing away from her, he seemed to fade into the bushes. He left her as silently as he had come.
She ran into the house and up the stairs to her bedroom. Lying down on her bed, she smiled to herself. He loved her and he had come for her to take her away, with him as his bride. She wondered momentarily where he lived, and what their life together would be like. It did not matter, as long as they were man and wife. As she had told him, she would live anywhere with him.
Mara slipped out of her gown and into her nightgown. The house was silent. She blew out the candle and her bedroom was bathed in darkness as she climbed into bed. The distant sound of the night owl penetrated the stillness. Tajarez was nearby. She remembered all the nights she had lain in her bed with a heavy heart, thinking she would never see him again, feeling hopeless and alone.
There would be trouble tomorrow when David met Tajarez. Oh, David would go to the camp, all right. He would feel bound to thank the man who had saved his sis
ter's life, but he might never consent for her to go away with Tajarez.
She frowned, wondering why Tajarez wanted them to go to his camp. He had told her to trust him and she did, but still she was puzzled.
She smiled. It had felt so good to be in his arms, to be kissed by him, to hear the tantalizing sound of his voice as he whispered love words in her ear. No woman had ever had more proof of a man's love than he had given her. It must have been very difficult for him to find her. She closed her eyes, feeling happiness for the first time in many months, and fell into a peaceful sleep.
In spite of the lateness of the hour, when Tajarez reached his camp, he was immediately surrounded by his people. They stood silently, waiting for him to speak, their dark eyes showing their eagerness to hear about his visit with the Golden One. He purposely did not let his face show any emotion. He looked at the different faces, reading the feelings of each. Sasha's face was open, plainly showing her excitement. Tanka's face was watchful, sullen. Palomas's face, which was usually so solemn, looked apprehensive. Anias's face showed nothing as he stood darkly appraising his cousin. Tension could be felt in the air as Tajarez studied many of the faces about him.
"My people," he began solemnly. "I want to thank you for the devotion with which you have served me in the long search for the Golden One. Sometimes when my spirits would drop in thinking we would never find her, your faith helped carry me through." All eyes were on him, waiting, watching. "You have been with me through disappointments and triumphs. There were times when it seemed we would not obtain our goal, and you suffered along with me. It is only fair that you should now share in my happiness. I have spoken to the Golden One." He paused deliberately. His eyes rested on Sasha, who was holding her breath. Walking over to her, he smiled down at her lovely face. Her eyes were fastened on his face, as she anxiously awaited his next words.
"My people, tonight Mara consented to be my bride. Tomorrow I seek her brothers' permission to take her with me to the Seven Cities."
A shout arose as the voices joined in unison, showing their pleasure at his words. Happiness showed on most of the faces, but Tajarez did not see the jealousy written on the face of Tanka, nor did he see the naked hatred on the face of his cousin Anias.
"My prince, when shall we see her? When can I speak to her?" Sasha asked.
Tajarez smiled. "Maybe tomorrow, little cousin. We must first make ready for her brothers' visit."
There was a murmuring among the people as they talked of the importance of tomorrow, when the old prophecy would begin to be fulfilled.
Tajarez entered his tent and removed the clothes of the white man, which had been uncomfortable and confining. Wearing only his breechcloth, he sat down on the white robe and buried his face in his hands. To his people she was a goddess, a prophecy fulfilled, but to him she was very real, soft and warm, and so desirable.
He had been in fear today that she would not love him. He remembered sitting in her garden, feeling as low as a man can feel, thinking she would never consent to go to his home with him. How was it that he, Tajarez, prince of the Lagonda, who feared nothing and no man, could be ruled by a tiny girl? His happiness was dependent on her. His very existence was so he could be with her—to hold her in his arms and kiss her, to lie beside her and know the joys of the body as well as the spirit. If she had not consented to go with him, he did not know what he would have done.
His thoughts were interrupted by someone's entering the tent. Seeing Tanka, he rose angrily to his feet and glared at her. "You dare to come to me without being summoned?" His voice lashed out at her.
She lowered her head at the anger she heard in his voice. "I wondered if there was anything you required, my prince."
"Had I wanted anything, I would have sent for you. Leave me now."
She walked hesitantly to the tent opening, knowing her usefulness to him was at an end. There was a great sadness in her heart. At the risk of his displeasure, she decided to speak to him once more. Turning back to him, her eyes pleaded with him. "It has been long since you have been to my bed. Do you not desire me anymore?"
He suddenly felt pity for her. He had been unkind to her of late, and she had once filled a need in him. "I am to be married, Tanka. You know it is forbidden for me to lie with another."
"Not until you are married by your father, my prince. It is a long way to the Seven Cities. Will you not need a woman?"
He considered her proposal. It would take many weeks before they reached home, and it would be a long time to be without a woman. But he found that while Tanka had once pleased him, he did not want to be intimate with her anymore. She had lost her appeal for him. He doubted any woman would serve him now, except Mara, and he could not be with her until she became his bride. His body had a strong craving, but no one could soothe that fever that ran hot in his veins except his beloved. He had no desire for any other. He would be in agony until he took her in their marriage bed.
"I free you of any obligation to me, Tanka. You are free to seek the pleasure of another if you so wish."
She fell on her knees before him, her eyes beseeching him. "Do not cast me aside, please. I love you. I can please you, I know I can."
He suddenly felt disgusted by her and the scene she was making. He was unmoved by her tears.
"I am not the first man to be with you, nor will I be the last. You have offended me by coming to my tent without my permission. Once more I am forced to overlook your behavior, but never repeat your performance of tonight. You are not some innocent virgin who has been taken advantage of. You knew from the start there was nothing permanent in our arrangement. I will see that you are well provided for when we reach home, but never come to me again."
She rose to her feet, her anger overruling her good sense. "Do you think a white woman can please you, my prince? I know well what you like. She knows nothing of the Indian ways."
"Enough, Tanka. You go too far. You dare say such things about your future queen? Women have died for much less. Leave my sight. I will speak to you no more. If it were possible, I would replace you. I thought to honor you by allowing you to accompany me. There are many who would have gladly come in your stead. Never come to me again, nor speak to me, for the day you seek me out is the day you will be severely punished."
Tanka knew she had gone too far. She rushed out the tent opening and into the night, knowing he had not threatened her lightly. He would not think twice about punishing her. When she reached her tent, she lay down on her robe and waited for her heart to stop pounding.
She remembered the last time she had been intimate with the prince. It was on their first night of the journey. He had sent Palomas to her tent to summon her. He had pulled her into his arms, kissing her deeply. She could still feel the bliss of that kiss. Then he had undressed and watched as she had disrobed. Tanka was a beautiful woman, and she knew it. When he had drawn her into his arms once more, she had trembled as his strong hands moved over her body.
"My body is on fire, Tanka. Help me put out the fire," he had whispered. When he took her, she could feel that she did not fully satisfy his needs. Afterwards, as always, he pulled away from her and seemed to shut himself off from her. But that time had been worse. He had not been aware that at the most intimate moment he had called her Mara. That night as she lay beside him, she had heard him call out in his sleep: "Beloved, do not leave me. I love you." And she knew he spoke not of her, but of the white woman.
Tanka turned over on her stomach, her eyes burning with unshed tears. She would find a way to get even with him for his treatment of her. She would seek to revenge herself on what he loved most in the world. The Golden One.
WE ROSE EARLY. TOOK THE CHIEF TO THE PUBLIC STORE AND FURNISHED HIM WITH SOME CLOTHES… TOOK AN EARLY BREAKFAST WITH COLONEL HUNT AND SET OUT. DESCENDED TO THE MISSISSIPPI AND DOWN THAT RIVER TO ST. LOUIS…
— William Clark
8
Mara bid good-bye to the Simpsons, who had come from Philadelphia to attend David's wed
ding. They had spent the night before going on to their daughter's in Harrisburg. She waved to them from the veranda and watched as the buggy pulled out of sight. Mara's heart was light, and joy showed in her face.
Tess, who knew her so well, studied her with a puzzled frown on her face. "What are you so happy about? I haven't seen you smile like this in a long time. Have you decided that life is not so bad after all?"
Mara took Tess's hands and swung her around in the hallway. "Oh, Tess, life is beautiful."
Tess pushed Mara away from her and looked at her suspiciously. "Care to tell me why you shed your gloomy face?"
"Tajarez came for me. He loves me, and wants me to marry him. I am going away with him," she blurted out.
Tess was struck dumb for a moment. "You must be joshin'. Are you saying that injin came here?"
"That is exactly what I am saying. I am going away with him."
"Lord save us all. You have gone and done what the doctor warned us against, and lost your mind."
"Tess, my mind was never more clear, and I have never been happier in my life."
Tess felt her world being threatened. She had loved Mara like her own daughter. She could not bear to think of her being cast in the role of squaw, living in some dirty, obscure Indian village. "Your brothers will never allow you to go off with him, mark my words."
"If they object, I will go anyway," she said defiantly. "I will not give Tajarez up."
"We shall just see about that, young lady. We shall see.
'Tess, do you not want to see me happy? Without him, I am miserable. You know how I have missed him. I love him so much. Wait until you see him, you will love him too."
Tess shook her head. "I do not know where this is all going to end. I see no happy ending for any of us."
"Have David and Linda come downstairs yet?"
"Of course not. Why?"
"I want you to knock on their door and tell David I wish to see him. Then find Jeffery and tell him also."
Savage Desire (Savage Lagonda 1) Page 11