CREE

by LaShawn Vasser

  Cree stepped aside so that Candice could come in. “Hi, come on inside. I’m Cree Jacobs. I’m pretty sure I have some sugar.”

  “Great! And, thanks.” Candice put her hands together as if in prayer. “You haven’t lived here long have you?”

  Cree went into the kitchen and pulled the sugar bowl out of the cabinet. The apartment had an open floor plan so she could see Candice from there. “No, just a few weeks. I attend Jackson U.”

  Her face looked crestfallen. “Oh. I thought I finally had someone my age to talk to. No offense but this building is over-run with college kids.”

  “None was taken. And, I agree.” Cree laughed. “Let’s just say I’m an adult returning student. I’m probably closer to whatever age you think I am.”

  Candice tilted her head to the side. “Really? Well, that sounds great to me.”

  Cree came out of the kitchen with a cup of sugar wrapped in saran wrap. She smiled. “Here you go. I hope your dinner goes exactly the way you want it to.”

  “Thank you…thank you…thank you! I swear I can’t thank you enough for saving me tonight. There was no way I would have been able to go to the store and get back here before my date.”

  “Really, it’s no problem. Anytime.”

  Candice mulled over inviting Cree to a get together she was having. “Friday, I’m having a few friends over. If you’re not doing anything, and would like some adult conversation, you should come.”

  Cree wasn’t sure she was ready for the social scene just yet, but she couldn’t continue to sit around and pine about her life wondering if she’d made the right decisions. This was her putting one foot in front of the other. “You know…maybe I will. Thanks for inviting me, Candice.”

  *****

  Cree felt awkward standing outside of Candice’s door. She raised her hand to knock several times.

  Just when she was about to turn around and go back to her apartment, a few other guests arrived at the door.

  A burly looking guy asked, “Is Candice not home?”

  Nervously, Cree smiled. “Um…I’m sure she is. I just arrived.” He was a big guy.

  Another man who was a dead ringer for Idris Elba reached over Cree’s head and knocked on the door. She jumped lightly. The movement left her feeling a little freaked out. Even when he smiled down at her, Cree still felt uneasy. She wondered if she would ever feel normal around men again.

  “I’m Derrick and these two with me are Marcia and Steve.”

  Marcia and Steve waved.

  “Hi.” Cree tried to be friendly but didn’t give them her name.

  Candice opened the door. “Hey guys! I was wondering when you were going to show up. Thanks for coming Cree!”

  As they all went inside Cree couldn’t help but notice the layout to her apartment was almost identical to hers.

  Candice’s party was in full swing. There were quite a few people there already. Soft music was playing in the background, a few of her guests were huddled in corners talking, and the drinks were flowing.

  One thing was for sure, Cree wouldn’t be drinking. She intended to stay fully alert as she nursed a soda while chit chatting with several of Candice’s friends that she’d been introduced to.

  Somehow, Cree ended up talking with Derrick, Steve, and Marcia. The group who’d come into the party with her.

  Derrick spoke. “So, Cree right? That’s your name?”

  She nodded.

  “I was wondering if you’d like to maybe go get a coffee after we leave here.”

  Was he hitting on her? She surely hoped not. Yes, Derrick was incredibly handsome but Cree couldn’t even imagine just having coffee with anyone other than Cameron.

  She and Cameron were in a weird place. They weren’t together but they weren’t not together either, and Cree was nowhere near ready to start dating. She wasn’t even sure she could be in the same room with a strange man without freaking out. Instead, she held up ring finger. “Sorry. I’m married.”

  “Damn. The good ones are always taken.” He took a sip of his drink. “I’ll tell you what, if that ever changes, or you just want to hang out, give me a call.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card and gave it to Cree.

  Cree only took the card to not appear rude. She had less than zero desire to call Derrick.

  After being at the party for a couple of hours, Cree was miserable. Although, she pretended otherwise, and smiled on cue, she felt so out of place.

  The inner battle was wreaking havoc on her brain. One side was saying. “You should just go home Cree and the other kept saying put one foot in front of the other.”

  Instead, Cree took the middle ground and stepped out on the balcony for some fresh air. Not a minute later did Candice come out with two water bottles in her hand.

  “Hey. Are you alright? You don’t seem to be having a good time.” She handed one to Cree.

  Cree hoped her misery wasn’t that obvious as she pasted on a smile. “No…everything is really nice and your friends are great.”

  The skeptical look on Candice’s face was unmistakable. “So, why are you out here on this balcony by yourself?”

  Cree decided to come clean. “Okay. Truth? I just separated from my husband a couple of months ago. This is my first time out as a semi-single woman.”

  “Ahhh….bad break up?”

  “No, not at all. I love him and he loves me. It’s just…”

  “Wait…so you two still love each other but you’re separated?”

  “We’re kind of incompatible these days. We started dating in high school and just grew apart.”

  “Got it. When I got divorced it took a long time for me to figure things out. My advice, even though you’re not asking, is don’t put too much pressure on yourself.”

  Cree was surprised. “You were married?”

  “Yes, to my high school sweetheart too, but we divorced a couple of years ago because he was a horny dog and couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

  “That’s awful.”

  “Yes, it was. My self-esteem took a beating. My entire existence was wrapped up in him and when we divorced, it felt as if a part of me died.”

  Cree looked over the balcony. The mere thought of divorce had her stomach in knots. She sighed. “I completely understand about feeling like losing a piece of yourself. That’s exactly what I’m feeling in addition to wondering if I’ve made the right decision. How did you overcome it?”

  “I did exactly what you’re doing now. I just put one foot in front of the other.”

  “That’s what my best friend, Melody, keeps telling me. I hear her over my shoulder like every darn minute. She’s driving me crazy and she’s not even here.” Cree laughed, a real one.

  “That’s good advice. I can clearly see gatherings like this are not for you…at least not yet. Maybe you and I can do something a little less in your face. I hate going to the gym but I love rollerblading. I go blading around 8:00am every Saturday morning.”

  “I’ve never put on a pair of rollerblades in my life. I’m sure I’d fall and break my legs.”

  “Probably.” Candice laughed. ”But, I’d at least help you up.”

  “Well, that’s good to know.” Cree laughed too. “As interesting as it sounds, I don’t have a pair of skates.”

  “Blades.” Candice winked. “We bladers are sensitive about that kind of stuff. What size do you wear?”

  Cree looked down at her feet. “I’m a size eight.”

  “Perfect! I bought a pair in an eight thinking I’d picked up a size seven. It’s too late to take them back so you can wear those. Now…you don’t have any excuses for not joining me tomorrow.”

  She was still a bit wary but decided to give it a try. “Alright, but if I break my butt on the concrete, I’m going to hold you personally responsible.”

  She grinned. “I’ll make sure to remember that.”

  Candice was easy to talk to and it allowed Cree to loosen up just a bit. They continued to talk for a few
more minutes and found that they had quite a few things in common. They shared some good laughs standing on the balcony.

  Chapter 18

  It had been a long day and night but Cameron’s shift was finally over. He was in the hospital’s locker room taking off his scrubs and putting on a pair of jeans and a button up shirt; getting ready to go home.

  Just as Cameron was about to stuff his scrubs in his gym bag, Robert stopped by his locker. “Hey, I’m glad I caught you before you left. Did you have a chance to talk to Freddie?”

  He shook his head. “No, I was busy with a patient when he stopped by. I think he left a little bit ago.”

  Robert rubbed his chin. “I’m off in another couple of hours too. I figured he didn’t get a chance to ask you, but we thought it would be a good idea for the crew to get together tonight. Kind of like old times. I think the last time we were all off work at the same time was at Delia’s birthday party.”

  A sour look crossed his face as he remembered what a disaster that night had been with Cree. “Yep, I remember it well.”

  “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to bring up old memories. I’m actually trying to do the opposite. Delia, Gwen, Freddie and I are going to stop off at Veg’d tonight. You should join us. It’ll be fun.”

  Cameron was hesitant. “I don’t know, man. I’ve been pulling these double shifts and it’s wearing me out.”

  Robert nodded. “I still think you should get out for at least a couple of hours. All you do is work and sleep. There’s more to life than that.” He scratched his head before cautiously asking, “Have you talked to her lately?”

  Cameron’s hands stilled. “No. Not really. We’ve texted here and there.”

  “I hate to say this Cameron, but maybe it’s time to move on. It’s been almost six months.”

  He certainly didn’t want to hear that. “Robert, I’m not letting Cree go. I’m giving her time. Time she needs to figure things out. And, when that time is up…I’m going after her.”

  “What if when that time is up, she’s moved on?”

  “I won’t let that happen.”

  Robert was skeptical. “How? You have no idea what she’s been up to in all this time. You’re in New York and she’s in Henrickson.”

  He’d never wanted to strangle anyone more than he wanted to strangle Robert. But, somehow he remained calm. “No, I don’t. I’m working myself to the point of exhaustion to not think about it. Cree might be unsure of herself, but I’m sure of her. She loves me and I love her.”

  “Cameron, I get it. I really do. First loves are hard to get over. I just think your plan is unrealistic.”

  Cameron shrugged, “Do you know how I felt when I was driving away from her last time I saw her?”

  “No,” admitted Robert.

  “I felt helpless. That made me wonder, was that how she was feeling? Helpless? In Probably, more ways than one. It was as if a lightbulb had finally gone off in my head.

  “My plan might be unrealistic, but I’m sticking to it until I no longer have a choice. …” Even then, I’m not so sure I’ll give up.”

  His phone vibrated. It was a text from his mother. Cameron didn’t have the energy to go back and forth with them tonight too.

  Cameron, we’re in town and would like to see you.

  His mother and father had been in touch ever since that initial call at the hospital. He’d kept them at arm’s length but with Cree gone, there were times when he felt alone. At most his conversations with his parents had mostly been very brief phone calls, until now. Great. This was all he needed. Cameron shut and locked his locker door. “I’ve got to go. You guys have a good time tonight. Talk to you tomorrow.”

  *****

  Cameron was going back and forth over his decision to accept a dinner invitation from his parents. In some ways, he felt as if it were a slight against Cree.

  In his head, he knew that was crazy. If he thought for one second, they would disrespect her in any way, he’d leave. The bottom line was he was a little lonely and just plain emotionally exhausted. Over the last several months, his mother and father had been wearing him down with all the calls, texts, and e-mails.

  Cameron waited downstairs at their hotel restaurant for them. Time was whizzing past. Had it really been several years since he’d last seen them in person?

  “Cameron?”

  He’d never forget his mother’s voice. When he turned around to see her his heart ached. Cameron wasn’t prepared for that reaction. He’d missed her.

  She was petite, barely reaching his shoulders. There was no gray in her shiny blonde hair. It was perfectly styled into a French twist. She wore a designer onyx and gray pant suit. Annalise Jacobs was every bit the wealthy CEO’s wife. Cameron was the spitting image of her down to the same pale blue eyes.

  He spoke stiffly. “Mom.”

  His father’s voice was thick with emotion too. “Hello Cameron.”

  He cleared his throat. “Dad.”

  Cameron Jacobs Sr. was a formidable presence and for the longest time, he was the man Cameron most looked up to and wanted to impress.

  He clearly got his height and build from his father. That, and his strong chiseled jaw line were probably the only things he inherited from him. His father’s dark brown hair, unlike his mother’s was peppered with gray. His eyes were etched with strain and worry. Cameron wasn’t sure if that was because of their relationship or the stresses from his work.

  Cameron extended his hand out to his father. His dad just stared at it. After a moment, he took it and pulled Cameron into a bear-like hug.

  His own arms just kind of hung at his sides until his father spoke. “I’m sorry, son. I love you.”

  Cameron was tired and he missed his parents. He lifted his arms to return his father’s embrace.

  “Don’t forget about me?” His mother’s face was blotchy. She was red-nosed as the tears streamed down her face.

  Cameron turned to embrace his mother too.

  “I’ve missed you so much, Cameron.”

  “I missed you too, mom.”

  After what appeared to be a successful moment in their reunion, they sat down to dinner reminiscing and catching up with one another.

  Cameron was careful not to mention Cree because if either of them said anything remotely untoward about her, their mini reunion would immediately be over.

  Once the waitress brought their after dinner coffees his father took the conversation into territory he wasn’t sure they should go.

  “We heard about what happened with Cree. We’re very sorry.”

  “Are you really?” Cameron blurted out.

  His father looked him directly in his eyes. “Yes. We know how much you loved her.”

  “Love Dad, not loved. Is it because Cree and I are separated that you now want to be a part of my life?” Cameron challenged him with steely eyes.

  “No, Cameron. Not at all. Contrary to what you may think, we don’t dislike Cree. I know you think we didn’t want you to be with her because she was black, but it was mostly because you were too young to be so serious.”

  Cameron was getting angry. “I really don’t think we should have this conversation right now.”

  “We should because we need to clear the air. The truth is your mother and I didn’t want you’re being serious with any woman at such a young age. We were afraid you’d lose focus of the bigger picture. Obviously, we were wrong. You sit before me as Dr. Cameron Jacobs completing a residency at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the country. I would say, you didn’t lose focus. I underestimated you and I was wrong.”

  Annalise stepped into the conversation. “Cameron, if we’re being totally honest, I would say, no Cree wasn’t the kind of girl that I thought you should marry….at first. Not because she was black, but maybe because she didn’t travel in our circle. I didn’t know her and didn’t take the time to get to know her. I’ll readily admit that I was a snob. I’m sorry for that. However, over the years, I’ve seen her total devotio
n to you. I don’t care if the woman is polka dot, what mother wouldn’t want that for her son?”

  “Would you be saying all of this if Cree and I were still together?”

  His mother reached across the table and touched his hand. Her eyes were full of sincerity, “Yes. And, I’m here to tell you that if you really love her, don’t give up on her.”

  This was a conversation, he’d been dreading for years. Thankfully though, it turned out drastically different from what he’d anticipated. Now that they’d had it, he was relieved.

  The emotion of attempting to reconcile with his parents and his thoughts of Cree were a lot to deal with. His eyes were glassy. “There’s nothing I can do about it right now to win her back. She says she needs time to find herself.”

  His father responded, “Then give her a bit more time. In the meantime, make a plan to get your wife back. If you love her like I think, then you’ll do whatever you have to in order to make that happen. You’re a Jacobs, you’ve proven that you don’t take no for an answer. Don’t start now. Whatever we can do to help, just say the word.”

  “Do you really mean that Dad?”

  “With everything in me, I mean it.”

  Chapter 19

  Candice and Cree had grown close over the last several months. They were like kindred spirits. Cree adopted rollerblading as an alternative to going to the gym and they did it together almost every morning before Cree went to school and Candice went to work.

  Somehow, Candice managed to pick up on Cree’s apprehensiveness about being around men even though, she never told her about that horrible event. That was something Cree was still working through with Dr. Laurel. It would take some time before she stopped looking at every man who smiled at her as a predator.

  Today, however, Cree allowed Candice to talk her into going to an amusement park with a couple of her other close girlfriends. They’d had a great time for most of the day.

  Cree hadn’t been to an amusement park since she was ten years old and that was well before her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Back then, her mother wouldn’t allow her to ride a rollercoaster.