I Say No

by Wilkie Collins

  CHAPTER L. MISS LADD ADVISES.

  Mrs. Ellmother sat by the dying embers of the kitchen fire; thinkingover the events of the day in perplexity and distress.

  She had waited at the cottage door for a friendly word with Alban, afterhe had left Emily. The stern despair in his face warned her to let himgo in silence. She had looked into the parlor next. Pale and cold, Emilylay on the sofa--sunk in helpless depression of body and mind. "Don'tspeak to me," she whispered; "I am quite worn out." It was but too plainthat the view of Alban's conduct which she had already expressed, wasthe view to which she had adhered at the interview between them. Theyhad parted in grief---perhaps in anger--perhaps forever. Mrs. Ellmotherlifted Emily in compassionate silence, and carried her upstairs, andwaited by her until she slept.

  In the still hours of the night, the thoughts of the faithful oldservant--dwelling for a while on past and present--advanced, by slowdegrees, to consideration of the doubtful future. Measuring, to the bestof her ability, the responsibility which had fallen on her, she feltthat it was more than she could bear, or ought to bear, alone. To whomcould she look for help?

  The gentlefolks at Monksmoor were strangers to her. Doctor Allday wasnear at hand--but Emily had said, "Don't send for him; he will tormentme with questions--and I want to keep my mind quiet, if I can." Butone person was left, to whose ever-ready kindness Mrs. Ellmother couldappeal--and that person was Miss Ladd.

  It would have been easy to ask the help of the good schoolmistress incomforting and advising the favorite pupil whom she loved. But Mrs.Ellmother had another object in view: she was determined that thecold-blooded cruelty of Emily's treacherous friend should not be allowedto triumph with impunity. If an ignorant old woman could do nothingelse, she could tell the plain truth, and could leave Miss Ladd todecide whether such a person as Francine deserved to remain under hercare.

  To feel justified in taking this step was one thing: to put it allclearly in writing was another. After vainly making the attemptovernight, Mrs. Ellmother tore up her letter, and communicated with MissLadd by means of a telegraphic message, in the morning. "Miss Emily isin great distress. I must not leave her. I have something besides to sayto you which cannot be put into a letter. Will you please come to us?"

  Later in the forenoon, Mrs. Ellmother was called to the door by thearrival of a visitor. The personal appearance of the stranger impressedher favorably. He was a handsome little gentleman; his manners werewinning, and his voice was singularly pleasant to hear.

  "I have come from Mr. Wyvil's house in the country," he said; "and Ibring a letter from his daughter. May I take the opportunity of askingif Miss Emily is well?"

  "Far from it, sir, I am sorry to say. She is so poorly that she keepsher bed."

  At this reply, the visitor's face revealed such sincere sympathy andregret, that Mrs. Ellmother was interested in him: she added a wordmore. "My mistress has had a hard trial to bear, sir. I hope there is nobad news for her in the young lady's letter?"

  "On the contrary, there is news that she will be glad to hear--MissWyvil is coming here this evening. Will you excuse my asking if MissEmily has had medical advice?"

  "She won't hear of seeing the doctor, sir. He's a good friend ofhers--and he lives close by. I am unfortunately alone in the house. If Icould leave her, I would go at once and ask his advice."

  "Let _me_ go!" Mirabel eagerly proposed.

  Mrs. Ellmother's face brightened. "That's kindly thought of, sir--if youdon't mind the trouble."

  "My good lady, nothing is a trouble in your young mistress's service.Give me the doctor's name and address--and tell me what to say to him."

  "There's one thing you must be careful of," Mrs. Ellmother answered. "Hemustn't come here, as if he had been sent for--she would refuse to seehim."

  Mirabel understood her. "I will not forget to caution him. Kindly tellMiss Emily I called--my name is Mirabel. I will return to-morrow."

  He hastened away on his errand--only to find that he had arrived toolate. Doctor Allday had left London; called away to a serious case ofillness. He was not expected to get back until late in the afternoon.Mirabel left a message, saying that he would return in the evening.

  The next visitor who arrived at the cottage was the trusty friend, inwhose generous nature Mrs. Ellmother had wisely placed confidence. MissLadd had resolved to answer the telegram in person, the moment she readit.

  "If there is bad news," she said, "let me hear it at once. I am not wellenough to bear suspense; my busy life at the school is beginning to tellon me."

  "There is nothing that need alarm you, ma'am--but there is a greatdeal to say, before you see Miss Emily. My stupid head turns giddy withthinking of it. I hardly know where to begin."

  "Begin with Emily," Miss Ladd suggested.

  Mrs. Ellmother took the advice. She described Emily's unexpected arrivalon the previous day; and she repeated what had passed between themafterward. Miss Ladd's first impulse, when she had recovered hercomposure, was to go to Emily without waiting to hear more. Notpresuming to stop her, Mrs. Ellmother ventured to put a question "Doyou happen to have my telegram about you, ma'am?" Miss Ladd produced it."Will you please look at the last part of it again?"

  Miss Ladd read the words: "I have something besides to say to you whichcannot be put into a letter." She at once returned to her chair.

  "Does what you have still to tell me refer to any person whom I know?"she said.

  "It refers, ma'am, to Miss de Sor. I am afraid I shall distress you."

  "What did I say, when I came in?" Miss Ladd asked. "Speak out plainly;and try--it's not easy, I know--but try to begin at the beginning."

  Mrs. Ellmother looked back through her memory of past events, andbegan by alluding to the feeling of curiosity which she had excited inFrancine, on the day when Emily had made them known to one another.From this she advanced to the narrative of what had taken place atNetherwoods--to the atrocious attempt to frighten her by means ofthe image of wax--to the discovery made by Francine in the garden atnight--and to the circumstances under which that discovery had beencommunicated to Emily.

  Miss Ladd's face reddened with indignation. "Are you sure of all thatyou have said?" she asked.

  "I am quite sure, ma'am. I hope I have not done wrong," Mrs. Ellmotheradded simply, "in telling you all this?"

  "Wrong?" Miss Ladd repeated warmly. "If that wretched girl has nodefense to offer, she is a disgrace to my school--and I owe you a debtof gratitude for showing her to me in her true character. She shallreturn at once to Netherwoods; and she shall answer me to my entiresatisfaction--or leave my house. What cruelty! what duplicity! In all myexperience of girls, I have never met with the like of it. Let me go tomy dear little Emily--and try to forget what I have heard."

  Mrs. Ellmother led the good lady to Emily's room--and, returning to thelower part of the house, went out into the garden. The mental effortthat she had made had left its result in an aching head, and in anoverpowering sense of depression. "A mouthful of fresh air will reviveme," she thought.

  The front garden and back garden at the cottage communicated with eachother. Walking slowly round and round, Mrs. Ellmother heard footstepson the road outside, which stopped at the gate. She looked through thegrating, and discovered Alban Morris.

  "Come in, sir!" she said, rejoiced to see him. He obeyed in silence. Thefull view of his face shocked Mrs. Ellmother. Never in her experience ofthe friend who had been so kind to her at Netherwoods, had he looked soold and so haggard as he looked now. "Oh, Mr. Alban, I see how shehas distressed you! Don't take her at her word. Keep a good heart,sir--young girls are never long together of the same mind."

  Alban gave her his hand. "I mustn't speak about it," he said. "Silencehelps me to bear my misfortune as becomes a man. I have had some hardblows in my time: they don't seem to have blunted my sense of feelingas I thought they had. Thank God, she doesn't know how she has made mesuffer! I want to ask her pardon for having forgotten myself yesterday.I spoke roughly to her, at on
e time. No: I won't intrude on her; I havesaid I am sorry, in writing. Do you mind giving it to her? Good-by--andthank you. I mustn't stay longer; Miss Ladd expects me at Netherwoods."

  "Miss Ladd is in the house, sir, at this moment."

  "Here, in London!"

  "Upstairs, with Miss Emily."

  "Upstairs? Is Emily ill?"

  "She is getting better, sir. Would you like to see Miss Ladd?"

  "I should indeed! I have something to say to her--and time is ofimportance to me. May I wait in the garden?"

  "Why not in the parlor, sir?"

  "The parlor reminds me of happier days. In time, I may have courageenough to look at the room again. Not now."

  "If she doesn't make it up with that good man," Mrs. Ellmother thought,on her way back to the house, "my nurse-child is what I have neverbelieved her to be yet--she's a fool."

  In half an hour more, Miss Ladd joined Alban on the little plot of grassbehind the cottage. "I bring Emily's reply to your letter," she said."Read it, before you speak to me."

  Alban read it: "Don't suppose you have offended me--and be assured thatI feel gratefully the tone in which your note is written. I try to writeforbearingly on my side; I wish I could write acceptably as well. It isnot to be done. I am as unable as ever to enter into your motives. Youare not my relation; you were under no obligation of secrecy: you heardme speak ignorantly of the murder of my father, as if it had been themurder of a stranger; and yet you kept me--deliberately, cruelly keptme--deceived! The remembrance of it burns me like fire. I cannot--oh,Alban, I cannot restore you to the place in my estimation which you havelost! If you wish to help me to bear my trouble, I entreat you not towrite to me again."

  Alban offered the letter silently to Miss Ladd. She signed to him tokeep it.

  "I know what Emily has written," she said; "and I have told her, what Inow tell you--she is wrong; in every way, wrong. It is the misfortuneof her impetuous nature that she rushes to conclusions--and thoseconclusions once formed, she holds to them with all the strength of hercharacter. In this matter, she has looked at her side of the questionexclusively; she is blind to your side."

  "Not willfully!" Alban interposed.

  Miss Ladd looked at him with admiration. "You defend Emily?" she said.

  "I love her," Alban answered.

  Miss Ladd felt for him, as Mrs. Ellmother had felt for him. "Trust totime, Mr. Morris," she resumed. "The danger to be afraid of is--thedanger of some headlong action, on her part, in the interval. Who cansay what the end may be, if she persists in her present way of thinking?There is something monstrous, in a young girl declaring that it is _her_duty to pursue a murderer, and to bring him to justice! Don't you see ityourself?"

  Alban still defended Emily. "It seems to me to be a natural impulse,"he said--"natural, and noble."

  "Noble!" Miss Ladd exclaimed.

  "Yes--for it grows out of the love which has not died with her father'sdeath."

  "Then you encourage her?"

  "With my whole heart--if she would give me the opportunity!"

  "We won't pursue the subject, Mr. Morris. I am told by Mrs. Ellmotherthat you have something to say to me. What is it?"

  "I have to ask you," Alban replied, "to let me resign my situation atNetherwoods."

  Miss Ladd was not only surprised; she was also--a very rare thing withher--inclined to be suspicious. After what he had said to Emily, itoccurred to her that Alban might be meditating some desperate project,with the hope of recovering his lost place in her favor.

  "Have you heard of some better employment?" she asked.

  "I have heard of no employment. My mind is not in a state to give thenecessary attention to my pupils."

  "Is that your only reason for wishing to leave me?"

  "It is one of my reasons."

  "The only one which you think it necessary to mention?"

  "Yes."

  "I shall be sorry to lose you, Mr. Morris."

  "Believe me, Miss Ladd, I am not ungrateful for your kindness."

  "Will you let me, in all kindness, say something more?" Miss Laddanswered. "I don't intrude on your secrets--I only hope that you have norash project in view."

  "I don't understand you, Miss Ladd."

  "Yes, Mr. Morris--you do."

  She shook hands with him--and went back to Emily.