Love Lasts Forever

by Khanna, Vikrant

  She was leaving today, and now?

  An hour later she wheeled her suitcase across the floor producing a screeching sound against it. I sat there reading a book…pretending to read a book. Perhaps I waited for her to wish me goodbye, a perfunctory peck on the cheek…something.

  She didn’t even look at me as she made her way out the room. I shrugged. To hell with her!

  I sauntered toward the balcony and looked below. A metallic blue Meru Cab waited beside our house. A minute later she transferred her luggage in the back and settled in the back seat. The driver turned the ignition of the car and off they went leaving behind a gray plume of dust in the air.

  I wouldn’t lie by saying I missed her, because honestly, I didn’t. In fact I was relieved in her absence. My room was vacant when I entered; no frown, no anger, and no cold vibes greeted me. There were no arguments, no yelling, and most importantly no one sucked my blood.

  In the following week all seemed well in the world, though, she never called me. I spent long hours outside the house with friends and cousins. Nights were spent on TV and basking in the freedom of bachelorhood.

  Then exactly a week after she left, my phone rang late night. That had to be her; no one calls me that late.

  It was Joe Singh.

  ‘Hey, buddy,’ I answered. ‘So late, I thought you were on your ship.’

  ‘Just returned few days back,’ he said. ‘Congrats for your marriage; sorry brother, couldn’t make it.’

  ‘Oh,’ I shrugged. ‘Never mind, so where are you these days?’

  ‘In Mumbai, still,’ he replied, ‘but now in Delhi, cousins’ marriage.’

  Poor guy, I thought, the cousin I mean. ‘So let’s catch up buddy,’ I said. ‘It’s been a long time we haven’t met.’

  ‘Sure, tomorrow, Chili’s, Vasant Kunj.’

  ‘Done.’

  ‘YOU GAVE HER GOLD BISCUITS!’ Joe Singh laughed hysterically with pounding motions of the chest that shook his broad shoulders. He produced a spluttering sound and little tears appeared in his eyes. His bright red turban almost blinded me. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me, man. But why biscuits, couldn’t you think of a better gift?’

  We sat at Chili’s, an American restaurant on the third floor of the Ambience mall in Vasant Kunj. Offering cheap liquor and scrumptious continental, Mediterranean and Italian dishes, it was the perfect place for a reunion. We were meeting after six months or so. I very well remembered our last meeting. Priyank…toothpaste…squeals…and loads of laughter.

  At mid day, there weren’t many people around, so the waiters could concentrate on us. I had told him everything, right from the day everyone agreed for our marriage to the current state of affairs. Joe Singh had left few days before our marriage for his assignment somewhere in Chinese waters so he wasn’t aware of the development. I told him about all the excitement and action preceding our marriage and then the trauma following it. Our platonic honeymoon trip made him laugh and that’s when I told him about the gold biscuits.

  ‘Yeah, dude…biscuits,’ I replied.

  He waved out his hands with a confused look on his face. ‘Why?’

  ‘Alright,’ I said. ‘It’s a good investment, why does nobody get it? Anyway, so that was the tipping point, our love began nose diving ever since…’ I trailed off, leaning back in my chair.

  I held out the beer mug and took a sip. Then slowly I told him the rest of the story.

  Joe Singh listened with sincerity. His eyes were fixed on mine and I could tell from his earnest expression, his mind wasn’t wandering. For once it felt good to talk…really good to talk to a man. When I finished, I let out a huge sigh. I nibbled at the cheese nachos producing a crunching sound.

  Joe Singh leaned forward and placed his beer mug in front. He gave me a thoughtful glance before he parted his lips. ‘I think it’s your fault,’ he finally said after his rumination, stretching out his hand and drawing a handful of nachos. ‘You haven’t been supportive enough. Don’t you see she just needs your love and support?’

  ‘What are you even saying?’ I let out another sigh and eyed the people around me. Damn these women! I hated even looking at them now. I gulped down the beer in long, gurgling sips.

  ‘How? Why?’

  ‘Ronit are you blind?’ he said, narrowing his eyes. ‘I mean can’t you see that Aisha has sacrificed so much for you. Women are very sensitive dude; they’ll take all the shit from every one provided their husband is good to them. All they want is our support and constant assurance that we love them and care for them. And you, my friend’ - his index finger almost touching my nose – ‘have done neither of it.’

  ‘How do you know so much about women, anyway?’ I asked; the question occurring so many times in my mind. ‘You don’t even have a girlfriend.’

  He laughed. ‘Oh, you don’t want to be going there,’ he said, throwing out his hands playfully. ‘That’s for some other day. Anyway, you better settle things with Aisha. I got my butt stuffed with toothpaste so you could get married, if you remember. Damn that Priyanka bastard!’

  I laughed. ‘Yeah, of course, I do remember that.’

  Joe Singh’s eyes lit. ‘Wow!’ he said. ‘He had such soft hands, you know. His touch against my butt felt so…wonderful. I don’t mind getting it done by him again.’

  ‘Ew! I said, struck by revulsion. ‘Why have you always been so infatuated by my sala?’ I took a long sip of the beer. ‘Even during our pre-sea days, you actually were ogling at his butt while applying the toothpaste. And what sort of a psycho puts a screensaver of someone’s butt, and that too, of a guy?’

  Joe Singh giggled. His moustache slithered, the long bushes of which were half drenched in beer. ‘Yeah, yeah, funny isn’t it? Anyway,’ he said, gulping down the remaining beer in his glass, ‘let’s not divert and talk about his sister. She’s such a lovely person, and you love her. What are you doing, man?’

  No, I didn’t love her. Perhaps I have never loved her; it was an infatuation if anything. She’d been gone for a week now and I didn’t miss her. On the contrary I was thrilled about it. In which part of the world would that be called love?

  I ordered two more beers.

  ‘Joe Singh,’ I said. ‘You are my best friend. Why do we always have to be in contradictory terms with each other? Few years earlier you always dissuaded me to be away from her, and now, when I’m happy to be away from her, you tell me it’s my fault and settle things with her?’

  ‘OK, firstly,’ he said, ‘stop calling me Joe Singh, just call me Joe. How many times have I told you that? ’

  I smiled.

  ‘And, secondly,’ he shook his head, ‘you’re a bloody idiot, that’s why I always disagree with you. Now Aisha is your wife, loving her and keeping her happy is your responsibility. You think now I’ll tell you to be away from her?’

  ‘Maybe,’ I said with a slight shrug.

  He tutted. ‘Oh, you donkey! Now listen…’

  His rant went on for another hour until I couldn’t take his insane women advice anymore. He left me with a horde of tips on How to make your woman happy? and What not to do in a marriage?

  On my way back home, again, as always, I wondered how the hell he knew so much about women. The guy never even had a damn girlfriend!

  Later that night while smoking in the balcony I couldn’t escape the thought that despite Joe Singh’s words, I felt happy to be away from Aisha. In fact, I dreaded her return.

  It was then when the thought of a divorce first occurred to me.

  27. Alright, I’m out of here

  June 2011, Delhi

  Three weeks had passed and Aisha wasn’t home yet. There had been no calls from her to me or my family. I didn’t call her either.

  It wasn’t that I cared or missed her. I was just…angry with her unconcern. How could she be so callous and inconsiderate? Mom and Priya had completely lost it by then. A series of questions flooded me about her whereabouts. I was sure a huge drama awaited her arrival.
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br />   However, whatever said and done, I was pretty content with my life. These three weeks had to best three weeks in my married life. I had seen it in movies, read it in books, how elated a husband is when his wife is not around. I always thought that was sarcastic, why would a husband be happy without his wife? But now, I know, it’s a one hundred percent truth; life can’t be more peaceful for men.

  Unfortunately, my happiness didn’t last more than the first week of June. One afternoon, while we were having lunch, there was a loud knock on the door. I made my way to the door anticipating the maid. And there she was, the big suitcase beside her, and a faint smile playing at the corner of her lips.

  ‘Hey,’ she said, making her way in.

  I nodded. ‘Where have you been all this while?’

  ‘I think I told you before leaving,’ she replied curtly.

  ‘Beta, where were you?’ Mom called out from behind the dining table as she came in sight of her. ‘It’s been three weeks now.’

  Aisha walked toward her and they shared a perfunctory hug. ‘Mom, I was in Mumbai with my parents,’ she replied, pulling back. ‘I told Ronit before leaving.’

  ‘Yeah, I know,’ mom said looking at Priya, ‘but no calls, no mails…nothing?’

  ‘Sorry mom, I was really busy an-’

  ‘So what did you think, huh,’ Priya bellowed, interrupting her. ‘We have nothing to do here; just wait for your arrival and hope everything is fine with you. You know how much everyone has been worried about you here.’

  Aisha drew a deep breath and tucked her hair behind her ears. ‘Oh really,’ she said. ‘And that pretty much sums up the reason why no one called.’

  With that she swirled around and trotted toward our room. The rest three of us in the room shared bitter glances.

  ‘That is no way to talk to my sister!’ I said, barging into my room right after my lunch.

  ‘Ronit, stop!’ she said and turned on her heels toward me. ‘Don’t get me started again. You also know she was the one who instigated me.’

  ‘But she was right,’ I countered. ‘You didn’t even bother giving us a call.’

  She huffed before walking toward me over the other side of the bed. She crossed her arms, pouted her lips, and gazed at me. ‘So did any one of you call to check on me, whether my flight landed or crashed, if I was dead or alive, huh, TELL ME?

  That dreaded devil was back. I shook my head and cradled it in my hands.

  ‘Oh God, not again,’ I grunted. ‘WHY DID YOU EVEN COME BACK?’

  I moved backward, away from her.

  There was a momentary pause. ‘FINE, YOU KNOW WHAT?’ she yelled back. ‘I’LL LEAVE!’

  I gnashed my teeth. ‘Oh, no, actually…’ I took a step toward her, held her arms, and shook her violently. ‘I WILL LEAVE!’

  With that I hauled my phone out from my jeans and dialed a number. She panted loudly by my side and I felt like slapping her at the sight of her crocodile tears.

  ‘Hello, Sahni uncle,’ I said after three rings.

  Sahni uncle is the crewing manager of Nautical Marine Company, and my mother’s cousin brother.

  ‘Oh hello Ronit, what’s up?’

  ‘Uncle, please assign me a ship as soon as you can, I’m in urgent need of money.’

  Aisha’s teary eyes popped up.

  ‘What happened, all of a sudden, is everything okay?’

  ‘Yeah uncle, sure, everything’s okay. Just tell me when can I join?’

  ‘Hmm…let me check.’

  I heard the muffled sound of flicking pages and a pattering of keyboard. I glanced at Aisha wiping her eyes and sniffing.

  ‘Hello…um…Ronit.’

  ‘Yeah uncle, tell me?’

  ‘Look son,’ he said slowly. ‘The only vacancy I have is on a ship two days later. Other than that we have no openings in this month.’

  ‘Fine uncle, good enough, I’ll be ready in two days then.’

  ‘But…um…there is a problem Ronit,’ he said hesitantly. ‘Actually this ship passes that Somalia region frequently, you never know with the pirates these days. Why do you want to take a risk? I’ll give you a ship with a better run next month.’

  ‘Oh no uncle,’ I said quickly. ‘That’s alright, doesn’t matter. Just confirm me for it; I’ll see you in the office tomorrow.’

  I snapped my phone before he could say something. How would he know getting stuck with Aisha is worse than being with pirates?

  ‘GOODBYE!’ I howled in her face and a flood of tears stormed their way out her eyes again.

  Two days later while handing my passport and ticket to the lady behind the check-in counter at the Indira Gandhi International Airport, I came across an envelope in my bag pack. I pulled it out and inside was a letter.

  A letter from Aisha…

  An hour later after completing the immigration and security formalities, as I slouched in the waiting lounge, I pulled out the letter. With a heavy heart, I began reading it.

  Dear Ronit,

  Nothing in this world has given me more pain than our time spent together in the last few months. As you leave tomorrow, I can’t help but wonder what went wrong? My heart is sore with pain and I find it difficult to breathe. I wish God brandishes his magic wand at us, transporting us back to February, on our marriage day, so we could give this a fresh start. Maybe things would still be the same or maybe they won’t.

  It would be difficult to live without you in the coming months, but then perhaps, you are right. Maybe taking a break would help, as they say - distance makes the heart go fonder. But even then, I secretly wish if you could cancel this trip and come back home to me, and we could try our marriage again, all over again…

  Your wife, Aisha.

  Without second thought I crumpled the paper, tore it till it was a cluster of a hundred small pieces, and flung it in the dustbin beside me. Forcing out the thoughts about Aisha and her damn letter, I made my way to the passage way leading to the aircraft which would further take me to the port where my ship was anchored.

  28. The afternoon before the pirates boarded - 3

  25th June 2011, Transiting Indian Ocean

  I swallowed hard and fought the huge lump rising in my throat. I reached for the water jug on the desk toward my left and poured a glass of water. Within a minute I gulped down three glasses. I didn’t realize I was that thirsty. From behind the table, Captain’s eyes were fixed on me, and a faint smile bordered his lips.

  ‘That’s it sir,’ I said, placing the glass back on the desk. ‘I have planned to divorce her this time when I’m back home. I’ll forget everything and lead a peaceful life thereafter.’

  ‘Ah, is it so?’ he said, leaning back and interlinking his fingers across his stomach.

  ‘Yes sir.’

  He took a deep breath, and I could tell from his expression he was in deep thoughts.

  ‘OK, first things first,’ he said, placing the palm of his hand under his chin. ‘Do you love her?’

  I pondered. The memory of the last few months flashed in my mind.

  ‘Not anymore,’ I replied firmly.

  ‘You sure?’ he lowered his head and stared at me from over the rim of his glasses. ‘She was your first love, wasn’t she? You think you’ll forget her just like that.’ He clicked his fingers in the air.

  I looked down and ran my fingers over the wooden table in front. Before answering I looked up, and said, ‘yes she was, and yeah I’ll forget her.’

  ‘Really,’ he leaned forward, the couch squeaking beneath him. ‘You know what Ronit, open your ears and listen carefully to what I’m gonna tell you now.’

  I nodded.

  ‘When you fall in love for the first time, you can never get that person out of your mind for the rest of your life. You can never do that! You might learn to love again, or move on, or find another life partner, but the memories of your first love would always remain, no matter how hard you try to get them away…’ He trailed off removing his spectacles and stared at me d
irectly through those big, brown eyes.

  ‘Do you not see me?’ he asked with a slight shake of his head. ‘It’s been four decades when I first fell in love with Shikha, but she’s still here.’ He tapped the left side of his chest with his hand. ‘I haven’t seen her in like…three decades but I still love her. I can never forget her and you know why?’ He paused for a moment, but continued without waiting for a response, ‘because she was my first love.’

  I said nothing and put some light on his words. I shook my head at the realization.

  ‘You know what, sir,’ I said. ‘Maybe you are right; maybe I’ll never forget her. But those memories would not be of love, instead of anger and resentment, and maybe regret.’

  He smiled. ‘Oh dear, you don’t know what you are talking about.’ The grin didn’t leave his face. ‘Of course, even after your separation you’ll still love her.’

  ‘No way, sir,’ I said with a wave, shifting on my seat. ‘You can’t love someone forever, especially after getting married to the same person.’

  ‘Of course, you can,’ he said, frowning. ‘Where did you get such false innuendos about life? Why is your sms generation so damn cynical? Am I not in love with my wife? And that’s when I haven’t even been with her in a long, long time.’

  ‘Oh sir, I don’t know about –’

  ‘OK, let’s leave the love part aside,’ he snapped. ‘You think you have done your part as a husband?’

  I nodded. ‘Of course, what more can a woman want.’

  The smile on his face returned. ‘Well, you know what Ronit, I don’t think so.’

  I shrugged. ‘And why is that?’

  ‘Alright, look…’

  The phone in his cabin rang again. He answered it. ‘Hmm…okay…alright…is it a lot? Yeah, okay, we’ll come.’

  ‘Let’s take this upstairs, Ronit,’ he said, removing his navy blue cap from the hook on his left, and setting it neatly over his head. ‘There is a bit of traffic in this area and second officer is not too confident about it.’