For A Reason

by T. N. Cole

  I closed my eyes again and leaned my head back against the bench. Was I attracted to her? Of course I was, but I was beginning to think it was something more than just physical attraction. “I’m hungry,” Katelyn announced as she climbed off me. “Let’s go get ice cream.”

  I stood up and stretched my arms above my head, smirking when Katelyn halted in the middle of picking up her shopping bags off the ground to watch as my shirt lifted a little. “What’s your favorite flavor?” I asked

  “Umm…flavor? Of what?” she muttered distractedly, going back to fussing over her stuff—she knew she had been caught.

  “Favorite flavor of ice cream, sweetheart.” I chuckled and snatched the bags from her hands. Sweetheart? First winking, now I’m calling her sweetheart?

  She pursed her lips at me, but I shook my head before she could protest. We lived in Texas; there was no way I was letting her carry everything she had bought. I grabbed the rest of her stuff and started walking in the direction of the ice cream shop, knowing she would fall into step beside me.

  She trotted alongside me. “I like all flavors of ice cream. But I really love Ben & Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake.”

  “Of course, you do,” I replied with a small smile on my face. What is with girls’ obsessions with red velvet? Even Mel loved red velvet.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” she responded indignantly.

  “Every girl loves red velvet.”

  “What’s your favorite flavor then?” she shot back.

  “Chocolate,” I replied as seriously as I could.

  She stopped walking, then she laughed and skipped to catch up with me. “You’re a hypocrite! Red velvet is chocolate!”

  “Fine, it’s vanilla.”

  “Oh yeah, definitely. Considering your past with Jenny, it’s definitely vanilla.”

  I shook my head but grinned at her. “You know I’m just shitting you. My favorite is actually rocky road.”

  Katelyn’s face scrunched up. “Nuts are gross.”

  I raised my eyebrows at her. Once she realized I took that the wrong way, she smacked my arm, making me almost drop the bags I was holding. “You’re such a guy!” she chortled.

  And her uninhibited laugh made me laugh, too.

  THE NEXT WEEK FLEW by, and I was caught in a web of school, midterms, the hospital, and workouts.

  I was walking out to my car one afternoon after my biochemistry midterm when I saw Katelyn. It was the first time I had seen her since I had dropped her off after that shopping trip—apparently her roommate had been borrowing her car again.

  She was talking to Luke again from the Kappa Sig party. He was leaning in close, so I could tell he wanted something from her. Either that or he was trying to look down her halfway buttoned blue blouse or maybe he was checking out her long legs in the short, black skirt she was wearing. That fucker wanted her. Bad. But then I noticed that Katelyn’s eyes were darting around; she was either looking for an escape or she was bored.

  I tried to inconspicuously sneak past them because I was ridiculously hungry. Then I heard her say, “Actually, I had lunch plans with Tristan today. Oh wait, there he is! Tristan!”

  Groaning internally, I stopped and whirled around with a fake smile on my face. “Hey, didn’t see you there. Thought you wanted to meet outside?”

  I walked back toward them; my eyes were locked on Katelyn’s as I tried to figure out what she wanted out of this conversation. She kept her smile on her face, but even I could tell it was forced. Rescue her from Luke it is then. Not that I mind messing with him anyway.

  When I reached the pair, I snaked my arm around Katelyn’s waist and threw a lazy grin in Luke’s direction. “What’s up, man?”

  He forced a smile at me. “I was just about to ask Katelyn to lunch, but apparently, she already has plans.”

  “Yup,” she chirped as she leaned into my side. “Tristan has been taking me to all these yummy new places around here.” Then she cupped her hand to one side of her mouth and mock-whispered, “I think he feels sorry for me because I have no friends.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. That’s the reason.” Not because I was becoming addicted to her personality or anything. “Come on, I’m fucking starving.” I grabbed her hand and started to tug her away. “See ya later, bro!” I called out over my shoulder.

  Katelyn twisted in my grasp to wave back at him, and he just shook his head at us in reply. As soon as we were out of his sight, I let go of her hand. “You’re welcome,” I deadpanned.

  “For what?” She gave me an innocent look as she speed-walked to keep up with me.

  “Are you kidding me? That’s the second time I’ve saved you from that douchebag.”

  “What?” She pretended to be outraged. “What if I actually liked him?”

  “Yeah, that’s why we have ‘lunch plans,’” I shot back.

  She smiled at me, then suddenly she froze. “Wait, where am I even going? Where are you going?”

  I stopped walking to look back at her. “I really was on my way to eat when you stopped me. I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten in three hours because of the test I just finished.”

  “Well, don’t let me stand in the way of you and your food,” she remarked sarcastically.

  I hesitated, but then decided that it would be no harm. “Why don’t you come with me? I can actually show you a good lunch place like you told Luke.”

  She pretended to think about it, but I think she was just doing it to prolong my hunger. “Where’d you park your car?” she finally said.

  “Finally,” I muttered. “It’s in Lot H.”

  “I’m buying my roommate a car,” she announced.

  “Wait, what? Why?”

  “Because I’m tired of her using my car.”

  “Are you even friends with your roommate? You act like you don’t even like her.”

  She looked a little uncomfortable. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve known her my whole life. We just don’t get along well sometimes.”

  Before I could ask her more about it, we got to my car. There was an unmarked envelope tucked into the windshield. It looked just like the last one that I had found at my apartment.

  Uh-oh, Mel muttered.

  I gritted my teeth and grabbed the envelope before hastily getting into my car. I even forgot to open the door for Katelyn. Not that she noticed. “What was that?” she asked.

  “I don’t know,” I ground out. And honestly, I didn’t want to know.

  “Well, maybe if you opened it, we would know… Wait, is that drug money?” she teased.

  “Later. I’m too hungry to care. What do you feel like eating?” I shoved the envelope in my bag before putting it in the backseat, and then I threw the car in reverse.

  She didn’t respond immediately. I looked over and saw her watching me again. I think she knew I was hiding something—avoiding what was in the envelope. When we locked eyes, I wordlessly pleaded with her to back off—there was no way in hell I was ready to tell her the story behind what was probably in the envelope. After giving me a rueful smile, she said, “I want a good chicken salad sandwich.”

  I breathed a silent sigh of relief. “I know just the place.”

  Jess’ Café was a fantastic place for lunch. I felt a little guilty that I hadn’t been in a while. The owner, Jess, knew me from how often I used to come eat here.

  I ordered my usual, and I let Katelyn order her chicken salad sandwich. She punched me in the arm when I got my card to the cashier before she could reach into her bag and pay for her own meal.

  “Relax. It’s not a date,” I said mockingly as I rubbed the soreness out of my arm.

  She rolled her eyes and walked away to get a booth. I followed her after grabbing our drinks and our number to put on the table. Katelyn was frowning while her thumbs were flying over the screen. I pulled out my phone and started scrolling through the messages I had gotten while I was taking my test. I saw my mother had texted me to check in and asked when I was coming over for dinner. I ro
lled my eyes and placed my phone to the side of the table. When I looked up Katelyn was now directing her frown at me, while tearing up the wrapper of her straw.

  I scrunched my eyebrows together. “What? Why are you looking at me like that? What did I do to you?”

  She relaxed her features. “Sorry, just thinking about something. Hey, there’s a party this weekend. I think it might even be a theme party! Want to go?” She went from serious to excited so fast.

  It was my turn to frown. “I told you that I don’t go to parties anymore,” I scowled at her.

  “Yeah, but you never gave me a good reason why.”

  “I think I partied enough my freshman year,” I carefully replied while taking a sip of my water.

  “Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist?” she abruptly threw in.

  I snorted. “Why? Are you offering?”

  Her face flamed and she looked down. I felt like an asshole, but I also couldn’t help but notice how she looked kind of adorable when she blushed. “I have tried once,” I murmured. “I just don’t think it helps. Nothing anyone says to me could ever help me.” Shit, I said too much.

  “I don’t believe that. Maybe you tried too soon. Or maybe you don’t need to talk to a therapist. Maybe you need to talk to a friend,” she argued vehemently.

  “Are we friends?” I looked her straight in the eye.

  She didn’t waver as she replied, “Yes. Even if you would rather push me away. You’re not as alone as you think you are in the world—some of us just hide it better than others.”

  I flinched and cast my eyes downward. I struggled to contain my anger. Calm down, Tristan. She’s just trying to help, Mel interrupted. She didn’t deserve my lashing out. She was right, of course. I did need help, but I didn’t need to pay money just for someone to try to convince me that it wasn’t my fault that Mel had died.

  Katelyn watched as the struggle raged within me. Finally, I managed to get out, “I want us to be friends. But you have to stop trying to psychoanalyze me. Please.” I whispered the last word and raised my eyes to meet hers.

  Her hard stare melted away as she met my eyes. “I’m sorry. You’re right. We barely know each other, and I’m just so nosy. I’m not trying to psychoanalyze you or anything, I swear.”

  Then Jess came to bring us our food. She was wearing her usual yellow apron with matching flats. She always had a sundress on, and she was always in a good mood. I smiled up at her. “I haven’t seen you here for a while, sweetie. I was starting to think you had forgotten about us. Or maybe you found a pretty new thing to busy yourself with.” She winked at Katelyn.

  Katelyn looked at me with a grin, and I chuckled. “Jess, this is my friend, Katelyn. Katelyn, this is Jess. She’s the owner.”

  “He’s never brought a girl around here with him…” Jess started to say.

  “Hey now, I’ve never brought anyone here with me,” I interjected.

  “Which means she’s all the more special,” Jess finished. “Hi, Katelyn. So nice to meet you.”

  Katelyn gave me a sly smile before reaching to shake hands with Jess. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, too. I love your café. It’s so homey.”

  “I do work hard to keep it that way. So how did you and Tristan meet?”

  Katelyn opened her mouth to respond, but I cut her off. “Jess, maybe another time? I’m sure you’re busy.” For some reason, I didn’t want her questioning Katelyn. I shouldn’t have brought her here, but I didn’t realize that Jess was going to go all Mother Hen on me.

  Jess raised an eyebrow and opened her mouth—to yell at me for sure—but I gave her my best pleading look, and she changed her mind. “Yes, forgive me, Katelyn. I do have some things to do. But I hope to see you again soon. It was lovely to meet you, dear. I hope you enjoy the food.”

  “I’m sure I will. It looks amazing,” Katelyn responded.

  “Don’t be a stranger now, Tristan dear.” Jess gave me a fake stern look and waved at Katelyn before walking away.

  “OH, MY GOD,” KATELYN moaned as she sunk against the back of the booth and closed her eyes after finishing the last bite of her sandwich. I felt stirring down below, but I ignored it just as I had throughout the whole meal. Katelyn had definitely enjoyed her food, and she had been more than vocal about it.

  Well, it’s a good thing she didn’t go to lunch with Luke. He would definitely be trying to fuck her now, Mel laughed.

  I ignored her. Instead, I asked Katelyn, “You liked the food?”

  She opened her eyes to glare at me. “You think?”

  “Ready to go?” I asked as I gave her an innocent smile.

  “I guess. If I can get up.” She giggled. “I better get home before I pass out from a food coma right on this table.”

  I stood and offered her my hand to help her out of the booth. “Can I go to the bathroom, real quick?” she asked as she stood and smoothed her skirt.

  “It’s back there.” I pointed. “I’ll wait for you outside.” She nodded her head in acknowledgment.

  As soon as I stepped out of the café, my phone started vibrating in my back pocket. It was my mother. I sighed, but I decided to answer it. “Hey, Mom.”

  “Hey, baby. I texted you. Did you get it?”

  “Yeah, sorry, I just got out of my test,” I lied.

  Katelyn walked out and cocked her head at me questioningly. I just shook my head and motioned for her to follow me to the car.

  “Adam’s birthday is in a few weeks. We were going to have dinner in the city, and we would love if you could join us,” my mom said excitedly. I sighed internally as I opened the passenger door for Katelyn. Adam was my mom’s boyfriend, and they had started dating a couple of years ago. They met when my mom moved out of our hometown and into the city. I think she did it both to be a little closer to me and to get out of that small town of horrible memories.

  From the couple of times I had met Adam, he seemed like a decent guy. He was a well-known lawyer; he made my mom happy and kept her off my back. But that didn’t mean I wanted to have dinner with them. My mom had been trying to make amends for what happened after my dad left, and I wasn’t mad at her anymore for going off the deep end, but I still kept my distance from her just as I did with everyone else.

  “I dunno, Mom. I might have a rotation at the hospital that night.” I lied again as I got into the car and turned on the engine.

  “Well, I would really love it if you came, Tristan,” my mom whispered sadly. “I miss you. I haven’t seen you in a while. How have you been?”

  I laughed hollowly. “Fine, Mom. I’m just fine. Still alive.”

  “I’m here if you need to talk; you know that, right?” she persisted.

  “Yeah, I know.” She told me this often; as if the more she said it, the more likely it was that I would finally spill all of my darkest feelings to her.

  “Will you at least think about it? Please? You can even bring a friend. Any friend! I’ll make the reservation for four people, okay?”

  “Sure, Mom. I’ll let you know.” I shook my head in disbelief. She really did think I was doing totally fine now. Maybe she’s just hoping. Or maybe it’s about time that you should be fine, Mel sighed.

  “Okay, sweetie, take care of yourself. I have to go. I love you.”

  “Bye, Mom.” I tossed my phone into the console and glanced at Katelyn. She was staring straight ahead while subconsciously hugging herself.

  “Are you close with your mom?” Katelyn asked tonelessly.

  I didn’t know why her mood had changed, so I cautiously replied, “No. Not really.”

  “Why not? It sounds like she’s trying to have a relationship with you.”

  This girl really couldn’t go long without being nosy. She was fine while we were eating, keeping the conversation funny and light-hearted after I asked her to back off. I smothered a sigh. “By the time she started trying to fix us, it was too late.”

  “It’s never too late, Tristan. You should be thankful you have a mo
ther who cares.” She turned her head and looked out the passenger window. Shit, I forgot she had an estranged relationship with her parents.

  “She wants to have dinner in a few weeks. It’s her boyfriend’s birthday,” I muttered exasperatedly.

  “So, just go.” She squinted at me. I really didn’t want to. It was just going to be them talking while I awkwardly third-wheeled it. Third-wheeling. With my mother and her boyfriend. No thanks.

  Wait a minute. “Go with me,” I blurted without thinking.

  “What?” I heard Mel and Katelyn say simultaneously.

  Actually, “Never mind. Forget I said that,” I immediately backtracked.

  “No, no, no. You can’t take it back. Well, you can, but I want to know what made you say that.” Katelyn shifted her body to watch me while I turned into her apartment parking lot.

  I couldn’t just say that I needed her there to act as a buffer for Mom and me. I also couldn’t tell her that I knew her personality would ensure no awkwardness—I was an asshole, yeah, but I didn’t want to pick a fight. After putting the car in park, I went with, “Because I like you?”

  She snorted. “Or you could just say the truth—that you want me there to do the talking for you.”

  I averted my eyes, but I looked back at her when she sighed exaggeratedly. “Luckily, I’m pretty awesome and I’ll do it on one condition. Don’t roll your eyes at me. You have to come with me to a party or two. Too bad we just missed the Halloween ones. But there should be more to celebrate the end of midterms soon.”

  “Are you kidding me right now?” I groaned. “Why are you so obsessed with going to these parties?” I expected a quick retort, but instead, I looked over and saw her frowning down at her hands in her lap. When it was clear she wasn’t going to answer, I said, “Fine. I guess you want to go to the one this weekend, don’t you?”

  Her answering smile changed her whole face. I could see she was grateful that I didn’t push the subject; I was just repaying the favor. She didn’t press me about my shit, so I definitely wasn’t in any position to be prying into hers.