For A Reason

by T. N. Cole

  She seemed content with that and laid her head back down on me.

  I didn’t think I would fall asleep for a while after that, but eventually, the even rhythm of her breaths pulled me into the darkness.

  MEL WAS ELECTED PROM queen, not surprisingly. And Drew Matthews, the captain of the football team, was elected prom king. They were in the middle of the dance floor for their first dance and I was watching them like a hawk, making sure Drew didn’t try anything funny. Mel was smiling tightly as Drew attempted to chat with her. My phone started vibrating in my pocket; I slid it out to check who was calling—it was my mom.

  I answered the phone hesitantly. “Mom?”

  “Tristan.” She was drunk. “Tristan, where are you?”

  “I’m at prom, Mom.” She never usually cared where I was. What was going on?

  “You’re so selfish. Do you know that? You’re out partying and having fun. Things Chloe can never do because she’s dead.” I was silent. I was often at the receiving end of her drunken rants. It was better just to let her go until she turned her attention back to the bottle. “You don’t even care that today’s her death anniversary, do you?” She started weeping. “It’s been eight years since my baby girl was taken away from me.”

  Shit. I had totally forgotten. “Mom, I’m sorry. I forgot. Let me just say bye to Mel, and I’ll be home soon.” I had to watch her on nights like this. I had come home too many times and found her face down in a puddle of her own vomit. Tonight would undoubtedly be one of those nights.

  “Don’t even fucking bother.” She laughed mirthlessly. “Just stay and have fun. Because your little sister can’t.” A beep sounded, signaling the end of the call.

  I lowered the phone and looked down unseeingly, my other fist clenched. How could I forget Chloe’s death anniversary? “Tristan?” Mel tapped my shoulder. I looked up to find her beaming in front of me. “You wanna dance?”

  I shook my head. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Umm, I think since prom king and queen have been announced, everyone is planning to leave in a few minutes. Justin and everyone else are heading back to the hotel for a party. Wanna do that?”

  I nodded my agreement. “Let’s dance until then.”

  Everything was a blur after that. I was numb. The reminder that my baby sister had died on this day eight years ago was enough to remind me that I didn’t deserve the normal life I was attempting to live.

  I immediately started drinking when we got to the hotel party. Beer, vodka, whiskey—I drank everything I could get my hands on. I remembered Mel trying to stop me a few times. I remembered Mel struggling to get me back to the hotel room I had booked for us after I started flirting with some faceless girl. I remember drunkenly kissing Mel. Then we were going too far—way past the point of return.

  I kept going, kept taking. I didn’t register Mel’s tears as I pounded into her over and over. I didn’t register the huge mistake I was making. I remained too focused on forgetting. I wanted to make the pain go away. So, I took and took. Mel kept crying out, in pleasure or pain, I wasn’t sure—and at that moment, I didn’t care. I kept going until exhaustion took over and I collapsed on the bed next to her. Finally, I fell into the dark oblivion I had been craving all night.

  I jolted awake, breathing heavily. Shit. I ran my hands through my hair and covered my face in frustration. I looked over to see if I had woken Kate up, but the bed beside me was empty. I flung off the covers as I got out of bed. “Kate?” I called as I pulled on my boxer briefs. My clock said it was five in the morning. I left the bedroom and found her leaning against the window. She turned as I walked into the room and smiled at me. She was wearing another one of my long-sleeve shirts and nothing else.

  “Why are you out here instead of in bed with me?” I asked as I walked over to where she was standing. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face into her neck. I needed her—her scent, her voice, her presence was all enough to make me forget the pain.

  “What’s wrong, babe?” she murmured stroking my hair. I shuddered and shook my head, tightening my grip on her. “Come on, let’s go back to bed. Did I wake you up?” She gently disentangled herself from me and led me back to the room.

  “No, I had a…dream. And when I woke up, you weren’t there.” I hoped that didn’t come out as pathetic as I thought it sounded after it left my mouth.

  She frowned and studied me as we climbed back under the sheets and lay facing each other. Our legs tangled together, and I fought the urge to pull her closer to me. “Was it a bad dream?”

  I reached up to brush her hair back. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” She knew me well enough to know I just didn’t want to talk about it—at least not at that moment. Instead, she gave me one of her breathtaking smiles and snuggled into me so that she was tucked into my chest and under my chin. She somehow knew exactly what I needed. I kissed the top of her head, and before long, I was able to drift back into unconsciousness.

  “I don’t like this whole waking up without you next to me thing,” I said into Kate’s ear as I wrapped my arms around her from behind.

  She smiled at our reflections in the bathroom mirror. “Sorry. I woke up and had to take some ibuprofen.” She touched the side of my cheek and settled back into my embrace.

  I kissed her shoulder. “I would say I’m sorry about why you have to take it in the first place, but I’m not.” I smirked at her. There was a pause as I tried to decide how to bring up the number one question tugging at my mind—why did she not tell me she was a virgin?

  She saw the question in my eyes as we stared at each other in the mirror. “Why don’t we go out for breakfast? We can go to Jess’? And we can talk there?” She turned in my arms to look at me. I nodded my agreement and softly brushed my lips against hers.

  We were being touchy in a way that only two people who had been intimate could be. It was a bit ridiculous, and I was sure it was obvious to anyone who looked at us that we had fucked, but I didn’t give a shit. It didn’t help that we couldn’t stop smiling at each other. We were a sappy mess.

  Jess had squealed when we got in and gave me a knowing look over Kate’s shoulder as they hugged each other. “You look so happy,” she whispered in my ear after giving me a tight squeeze. I had only smiled in return before she led us to a booth. The place was busy; many people came here for Sunday morning breakfast.

  “You have to stop doing that,” I said to Kate after we ordered our breakfast platters.

  She turned her shocked brown eyes to me. “Stop doing what?”

  “The smiling.”

  “The smiling?”

  “Yes. The smiling and daydreaming.”

  Kate narrowed her eyes at me, and I fought back my grin at how cute she looked when she was trying to be mad at me. “Why am I not allowed to smile?”

  I extended my hand over the table, palm up, and waited for her to put her hand in mine. “Three reasons why you shouldn’t be allowed to smile like that. Well, in public, at least. One, you already captivate every man’s attention. But today, you have a special smile and I’m fighting the urge to punch every guy in this room because they’re all looking at you with that smile.”

  She rolled her eyes at me, but I went on. “Two, I know what you’re thinking about when you have that smile on your face and that look in your eyes. And since you’re way too sore to do anything, it’s killing me to know that you’re thinking about last night when I can’t do anything about it.”

  She blushed, and I flashed her a grin before stating my last point. “And third, every time you get that look on your face, all I want to do is kiss you. And we can’t be kissing all day long, baby.”

  She smiled and then threw me a mischievous look. “Maybe we should test that theory.”

  I arched a brow, but before I could respond, Kate slid out of her seat and climbed into the booth next to me. She grabbed me by the back of my neck and slammed her lips to mine. I growled and pulled her closer, increasing the intensity of the
kiss. I told her without words how much I wished she wasn’t sore so we could spend all day exploring one another, and I knew she got the message with the way she moaned against my lips.

  Suddenly, the slamming of a plate on the table interrupted us. We jumped apart in fright. I settled when I saw Jess standing there with her hands on her hips in mock disdain. “Am I interrupting?” she drawled. “Your food is here, kids.”

  “Hey, don’t look at me.” I held my hands up in surrender. “She attacked me.”

  Kate punched me in the thigh, and I pretended to be wounded. Her face was tinged pink, and she looked sheepishly over at Jess. “Sorry, I can’t help it. I mean, look at all this going on. And those eyes…”

  Jess and I gaped at her in shock. Then Jess snorted and shook her head in amusement. “Well, at least I know you’re not blind, girlie. Let me know when you guys are ready for dessert.”

  When she walked away, Kate pressed a quick kiss to my cheek before smoothly returning to her side of the booth. She looked up from where she was drenching her pancakes in syrup to see me grinning at her. “What?” she asked innocently.

  “Nothing.”

  “You know, just because I’m too sore for sex doesn’t mean we can’t do other things,” Kate mentioned nonchalantly as she forked some pancakes into her mouth.

  I shook my head in amusement. “Yes, it does.”

  “Why?” she whined.

  “Because…” I lowered my voice. “Now that I’ve experienced the heaven that is being inside you, I won’t be able to stop if we start doing anything remotely sexual. I want to bury myself inside you again and again. Just thinking about how you taste makes me want to sweep everything off this table and take you right now. But I won’t because you’re sore. And because we’re in the middle of a restaurant. No one gets to see what’s mine.” Then I took a bite of my pancakes.

  Kate swallowed hard and stared at me as I continued eating. Finally, she snapped out of it. “Fuck me,” she muttered under her breath before she started eating again.

  “I wish.” My grin widened as she shot me a dirty look. “Actually, we’re not doing anything until you explain something to me.” I sat back as she moaned in satisfaction over how good the food was.

  She froze and lowered her fork. She slowly finished chewing before cautiously asking, “What do you want to know?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I leaned forward as I watched her intently. She looked down at her hands in her lap. “Hey, look at me,” I cajoled. She peered up at me through her eyelashes, biting her lip. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I’m in awe that I was the first guy to be with you in that way. I just want to know why you didn’t tell me.” She was silent as she dropped her head forward again. I hated that this table was between us.

  I wanted to tilt her chin up to look at me. I wanted her in my arms. But I didn’t want to be that couple—the one who sat on the same side of the booth. And I knew if I went to her side, I would stay over there for the rest of our meal.

  Finally, she looked up. “It never came up?”

  “Try again.” I narrowed my eyes.

  She made a noise of frustration before she exhaled sharply. “Fine. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want it to be a big deal. I didn’t want you to hold back with me over something as silly as my virginity. And maybe I was a tiny bit scared to tell you.”

  That did it. I moved out of my side of the booth and went to her. I felt a twinge in my heart as a tiny sigh escaped her when I put one arm around her shoulder. The physical contact obviously calmed us both. I used my other hand to tilt her chin up so I could see her eyes as she melted into my side. “Why would you be scared to tell me that?” I asked softly.

  She shrugged. “It just sounds a bit ridiculous. I’m a—I mean, I was a—twenty-year-old virgin. But I was ready, and I wanted to be with you.” She kissed my cheek. “And I don’t have any regrets. Do you?”

  “God, no. I’m the luckiest bastard on earth to have a girl like you—to have an amazing girl like you—choose me. I think I was just shocked because you didn’t tell me. And I guess I was also a little surprised that you were still a virgin. It never crossed my mind that it even could be a possibility. You’re gorgeous inside and out. I don’t really understand how no other guy has managed to catch your interest besides me. Not that I’m complaining.”

  “Maybe I was waiting for you.” She smiled at me coyly.

  I chuckled and stroked her cheek. “Well, whatever the reason, I’m glad I don’t have to be jealous of any other asshole who could have been with you.” I jokingly added, “And now I think it means you have to be with me forever.”

  She laughed. “I hate to break it to you, but this is the twenty-first century, babe. I don’t have to spend the rest of my life with you just because we had sex.”

  “You know, in some cultures, we’re basically married.” Smiling, I kissed her.

  “One step at a time, caveman. One step at a time. Right now, I’m more focused on seducing you to have sex with me again.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “You have to seduce me to have sex with you, huh?”

  She giggled and then elbowed me in the ribs. “And you’re making it incredibly difficult.”

  I tickled her sides, making her squeal. “What am I going to do with you?” I kissed her breathless before reaching to drag my plate across the table to me.

  We finished our breakfast side by side; stealing looks, kisses, and touches between bites.

  “You know, I think I have a test next week,” Kate mused as she sat back after finishing her meal.

  “Shit, me too.” I groaned.

  “I guess that means we need to be studying.” She sighed.

  “I don’t know if I can study with you anywhere near me.” I struggled to keep a serious expression on my face.

  She smacked me in the abs, making me groan. “Too bad, Westdyke. You’re stuck with me.”

  “I feel like we’re not going to get any studying done if you’re trying to ‘seduce me,’” I teased.

  “I’ll try to tone down the charm,” she remarked sarcastically.

  “A mere mortal like me is powerless to your seduction.” I placed a hand over my heart in mock seriousness.

  “Move it. Let’s go. We have some studying to do.” She pushed at my arm so she could get out of the booth. I resisted and laid a quick kiss on her lips before she could register it. She grinned and shook her head in amusement, before sliding her hand in mine as we went to say bye to Jess.

  “HONEY, I’M HOME!” I announced as I walked into my apartment. I had just gotten off work, and we were going ice skating today because I found out last week that Kate had never been. Kate flung my bedroom door open and squealed as she ran to me.

  I caught her as she jumped on me. I kissed her long and hard as I spun her in a circle. We were both panting by the time I stopped and put her back down on the ground. “Hi, beautiful.” I grinned as I caressed her cheek.

  She leaned into my hand and smiled radiantly up at me, making me breathless. She’d bundled up adorably to go ice skating with her boots, hat, scarf, and sweater—matching, of course. “Hi, baby,” she breathed. “Did you already eat? Are you hungry?”

  “Yup.” I grinned mischievously. I quickly bent down and grabbed her by her legs, easily slinging her over my shoulder in a fireman’s carry.

  She shrieked, “Tristan! What are you doing?” I marched to her bedroom. It had been a month since we first had sex, and it was only getting better and better each time. Kate was gaining confidence in bed, and it was ridiculously explosive every time we were together. I kicked the door closed behind me before striding over to the bed. I threw her onto it before toeing off my shoes and dropping my backpack to the ground. “I thought you were hungry,” she protested as I covered her body with mine.

  “Yeah, hungry for you,” I murmured against her lips as I slipped my hands under her sweater. Her laugh turned into a whimper as I sucked and kissed her neck. I h
ummed in approval as I lifted her sweater up and over her head.

  “Aren’t we going ice skating?” she asked as she put her arms in the air to help.

  I grinned. “Yeah, after this.” Not before long, the layers were gone and we were both down to our underwear. Kate gave me a naughty grin before she pushed me back onto the pillows and straddled my hips.

  She reached behind her and sexily shrugged off her bra, all while watching me—waiting to see how I would react. I reached up to bring her tits to my mouth, but she stopped me. In one quick movement, she grabbed my wrists and pinned them down on either side of my head. Her hair formed a curtain around us as she slowly lowered her lips to mine. She kept them there unmoving then she smiled and leaned back.

  Kate moved my hands so that she’d trapped them under my head. “Stay,” she warned. I was desperate to flip us over and drive into her, but I knew she wanted to be in charge for once. And I’d be lying if I didn’t think it was sexy as fuck. She slinked down my body, letting her stiff nipples brush against my chest followed by the light scrape of her fingernails. I shivered and concentrated on breathing.

  I wanted to watch her, but then this might be game over way too soon. She licked my nipple and pinched the other, forcing me to groan. Fuck it. I lifted my head up slightly just in time to see her trace my abs with her tongue. Her hands followed the trail her tongue left, leaving me on fire. I angled my hips up so that I could rub my hardened cock on her stomach, silently pleading with her to let me take control.

  She smiled and sat up to peel my boxer briefs off. She shot me a warning look to stay still, which was incredibly difficult as I watched her pupils dilate and her breathing become shallow as she took in the sight of my cock, ready and waiting for her. Just as I was about to grab her by the waist, she took me in her hands. She grasped the base with both fists in a tight grip. My pelvis flexed involuntarily. “Kate…” I moaned. She smiled, and I looked down to see her grin, her lips inches from the head of my cock.