For A Reason

by T. N. Cole

  He inserted one finger into my wet pussy and slowly moved in and out. “Is this what you want, Kate? Is this what you need?”

  “No,” I whimpered. “I want you. I want you inside me.”

  “I am inside you, baby.”

  I shook my head and arched my back as he teased my clit. “No. I need your cock inside me, Tristan. Please.”

  He pulled his finger out and brought it to his mouth. I watched in fascination as he sucked my wetness off his finger—this wasn’t the first time he had done that, but it still turned me on nonetheless.

  He yanked my head back by my hair so he could claim my lips once again. I ground myself against him as my hands feverishly roamed every part of him that I could touch. He reached between us and pushed into me in one swift movement. We both cried out at the sensation. It had been two weeks too long. I moaned with each sharp thrust. This wasn’t making love. This was something else entirely. Hard, fast, animalistic fucking. And it was exactly what I wanted.

  We both breathed dirty words to each other. I told him how much I loved that he was giving it to me so hard. He told me how amazing I felt and how it had been too long since he had been inside my pussy. I screamed as I fell over the edge once, twice, before I begged him to come with me. And he obliged, but not without making me come for a third time.

  “I love you,” he whispered in my ear as we gasped for breath after he collapsed on top of me. “Nothing will ever change that.”

  I relished the feel of his weight on me. I threaded one hand through his damp hair and rubbed his back with my other. “I love you, too,” I mumbled as I nestled my face into his neck.

  Tristan had just rolled off me and brought me to lay against his chest when Marie knocked on the door. “Mr. Tristan? I bring food that you ask for. Should I come in?”

  I lifted my head in a panic and scrambled to find something to cover myself. Tristan chuckled at my frazzled state—but he didn’t understand. Marie would beat us both if she found us like this. She had been my nanny for so long, and she would not take seeing me naked with a man very well. “Relax, baby.” He pulled on his boxers and t-shirt as he slipped out of bed and headed to the door. I haphazardly pulled the covers around me as I watched him crack the door open just enough so that they could talk but not enough so that Marie could see me naked in bed.

  Even with their hushed voices, I could hear the reprimanding tone that Marie had taken with him. But I could also hear that Tristan was laying the charm on thick in order to soothe her. A few moments later, Tristan was closing the door and walking toward me, a tray of food in his hands. He set the tray down on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed by my legs. I eyed him warily. “You know she would have fainted seeing me like this, right?” He winked at me.

  “I can’t believe you charmed my nanny,” I muttered.

  He gave me a boyish shrug and then placed his hand on my exposed knee. “I didn’t even do anything, baby.” I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the warmth I felt spreading through my body from just his hand touching my knee. “Now will you please eat for me, Kate?” I looked away as he turned the full force of his blue eyes on me. “Please?” He kissed my bare knee, causing me to shiver and close my eyes. “Please?” he whispered again, letting his lips brush the skin right above my knee. I made the mistake of looking at him. His eyes pierced mine as his mouth trailed higher up my leg, his hand pushing the blanket away as he moved upward.

  I threaded my hands through his hair and stopped him just as his hot breath blew over the heat between my legs. As much as I wanted to distract myself—to distract us both—with sex again, I nodded my agreement. I would eat. With Tristan by my side, I felt as though I could start to feel semi-normal again. I wanted to feel normal with him, although I knew I was anything but. And I still owed him a story. He deserved a proper explanation for the fucked-up mess I called my life.

  Tristan sat up and pulled me to him with a hand on the back of my neck, kissing me sweetly before he turned to the tray of food. I pulled the blanket around me again and my heart swelled as he proceeded to feed me. I wanted to cry, thinking of how I could have lost him because of my aunt and cousin. Tears stung my eyes as I thought of how I could still lose him when I told him everything, but I quickly blinked them away before Tristan could see.

  We ate until the tray was clear. “Marie said that your lawyer is going to come tomorrow to read your mom’s will,” Tristan said into my hair as we leaned against the headboard. I sank into his side with his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

  “So soon,” was all I had to say.

  “I know.” He kissed my hair. “I think it’s because there’s something in there about how she wants to be laid to rest. I didn’t know people even read wills out loud anymore, but maybe it’s just a French thing. Or maybe your mom wanted it read out loud.”

  I buried my face into his chest at the thought of my mom going into the ground or being turned into ashes. Tristan stroked my hair soothingly. A sudden thought hit me and I lifted my head to look up at him. “How long are you planning to stay here in Paris?”

  “For as long as you need me,” he replied without hesitation.

  I met his unwavering stare with stinging eyes. “What if I need you for always?” I whispered in a small voice.

  The corner of his mouth turned up. “Then you’ll have me for always. But, Kate, you don’t have to need me in order to have me. I’m yours no matter what. Whether you want me or not.”

  “How can you say that?” I shot back harsher than I intended. “How can you promise me things like that when you don’t even know the full story? When all you know is Nora and Mel’s twisted version of the truth?”

  “Because of that,” he replied evenly. “Because I know their version of the story is twisted.”

  “But what if it’s all true?”

  “It’s not.”

  “How can you be so sure?” I knew I was starting to sound like a petulant child, but I couldn’t help myself.

  “I know you and I know us. What we have is real,” he murmured softly as he pushed my hair away from my face.

  I slowly shook my head. “After you hear my side of the story, you’re going to find out I’m not worth it. No matter how real our connection is.”

  “You’re wrong.” He met my gaze steadily.

  I started to get mad. A rational part of me knew that this conversation was completely pointless. In the time that it took us to talk about all these what-ifs, I could have already told him the full truth. Plus, it sounded like I was trying to convince him to leave me—which was the last thing I wanted him to do. But I couldn’t help it. My emotions were overwhelming me, and unfortunately, he was too close to the impending explosion.

  “You’re being ridiculous, Tristan. How do you know I even really love you?” I spat out. I immediately regretted my words. The question hurt me more to say than it hurt him hearing it. I saw the pain flicker briefly on his face before he repressed it. But the two seconds that he had let his guard down pained me more than my aunt and cousin’s betrayal.

  He rolled so that he was on top of me, straddling my hips and holding my wrists down. “You’re right,” he said slowly. I felt a stab in my chest. “I don’t know if you really love me, but what I do know is that I love you. I love you enough to know that this is just you trying to let some of your emotions out. I love you more than enough to forgive you for whatever truth you think will drive me away. And I love you for always enough to know that we will get through this. Together.”

  His eyes bore into mine, conveying nothing but the fierceness of his love for me. The dam broke. I burst into tears and Tristan quickly climbed off me and pulled me into his arms. “Let it all out,” he whispered between soothing noises.

  “I’m sorry,” I sobbed between hiccupping breaths. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I covered my face as he continued to hug me to his chest.

  “There’s nothing wrong with you, Kate.”

  I squeezed m
y eyes together even tighter, trying to stop the tears. “I’m a terrible person.” I tried not to wail.

  “Don’t say shit like that,” Tristan scolded me.

  “I didn’t mean it, Tristan,” I whimpered as I nuzzled his chest.

  I could feel his chest rise and fall as he took a deep, tired breath. “I know you didn’t, Kate. I know.”

  “I’LL WAIT FOR YOU out here, okay?” Tristan tilted my chin up so he could meet my eyes.

  I steeled myself with a deep breath before giving him a shaky smile, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to come out. “Okay,” I whispered. “I love you,” I added at the end.

  The corner of his mouth turned up. “I love you, too, baby.” He kissed me briefly on the mouth—too briefly—before he released his hold on me. I could tell it was difficult for him to let me go into the room by myself. He seemed to be internally restraining himself from either stopping me from going in or accompanying me inside.

  On the other hand, it took everything in me not to throw a fit and demand that he be in the room with me while my mom’s will was read. However, he wasn’t allowed to be in there because he wasn’t family—well, not officially anyway. In my mind, he was the only family I had left and he was the only place I could call home.

  I squared my shoulders and smoothed my hands over my black satin dress before I strode into the office. The sooner I got this over with, the sooner I could be back in Tristan’s arms. I hadn’t been in this room much. And it looked to be more of a meeting room than an office. Full bookshelves of thick, monotone books lined the walls. There wasn’t an office desk in sight; only the long meeting table in the middle of the room that dominated most of the space. The room seemed well-maintained, judging by the lack of dust and presence of fresh flower arrangements scattered throughout the room.

  Aunt Nora and Mel had already sat on one side of the cherry wood table. I barely spared them a glance as I walked to the other side of the table and gracefully sat down, carefully arranging my dress as I sat. I was actually a little shocked that they had even shown up, given how little they seemed to care yesterday when they found out my mom had died. Not that they really seemed to want to be here anyway. Aunt Nora examined her already flawless nails—whether in an attempt to look bored or to ignore me, I didn’t care. Mel mindlessly scrolled through her phone, only stopping to give me an insincere wiggle of her fingers in greeting, which I returned with a roll of my eyes.

  A few minutes later, Jonathan Williams, the family lawyer, hurried into the room with a muttered apology. I had only brief encounters with him a few times before now. He had been the family lawyer for as long as I could remember, but I never had a reason to speak with him until now. I watched as Mr. Williams set his briefcase and laptop down at the end of the table closest to us. He shakily opened both, still mumbling to himself, and took out a handkerchief to unsteadily wipe his shiny brow.

  “A little hot, Mr. Williams?” I was a little concerned, seeing as it was actually cold outside at this time in Paris. Another smaller part of me was a little suspicious of his seemingly nervous behavior.

  He seemed taken aback that I had addressed him. “Umm, yes, Ms. Sharp. I am feeling quite overheated. It must be my old age. Oh, and my condolences, of course. It is a great shame about your mother.”

  He wasn’t that old, maybe early fifties, so it was puzzling that he would say that. I was just about to accept his commiserations when my aunt cut me off. “Well, Mr. Williams, if you had been on time, maybe you wouldn’t be as ‘overheated’ as you say you are.”

  I shot her a disapproving look, which she ignored, instead smiling tightly at Mr. Williams. “Please ignore Aunt Nora. She seems to have forgotten her manners this morning.”

  He cleared his throat. “I guess we should move along then. You must be wondering why we’re actually reading Mrs. Sharp’s will out loud instead of following the usual procedure of sending copies of the will to the beneficiaries. However, Mrs. Sharp specifically requested that I read the will out loud to any and all of her surviving family members.”

  “Yes, we’re aware, Mr. Williams. Now if you could move on, please. Some of us have more important manners to attend to,” Aunt Nora snapped.

  I was itching to lunge across the table and slap her as I had done yesterday. “Aunt Nora,” I started tightly. “I don’t care if you’re my aunt, if you’re my mom’s sister, or if you’re the goddamn queen of England. If you don’t remember whose roof you are currently under or at least learn to shut your surgically enhanced mouth, then I will physically remind you that you are nothing but a bitch and a pathetic excuse for a human being.”

  Her eyes flashed with anger, and I could see by the clenching of her jaw that she wanted to respond. But she opted not to visit the hospital today with a curt nod instead. I gestured to Mr. Williams that he could continue.

  “Right, well then. Here we go. Page One.” I briefly tuned him out as he went through the introduction of the will with my mom’s name, who she was, etc. I stared at one warped dent in the shiny table as I partially listened to Mr. Williams.

  “I bequeath all my possessions and estate to my only daughter, Katelyn Blair Sharp. This includes…” And he then proceeded to name off an ungodly sum of money along with many properties and valuables my mother owned.

  I slapped one hand down on the table as I was broken out of my reverie. “Mr. Williams, I think I may have heard you incorrectly. Can you please repeat what my mother left me?”

  He mopped off his forehead before he granted my request with a wobbly voice. Mel mirrored my shock as she gaped at me with wide eyes. Aunt Nora didn’t even seem fazed, but instead, she was glaring at Mr. Williams.

  “It can’t be…” I trailed off. I cleared my throat. “There must be some kind of mistake, Mr. Williams. Is that the most updated version of her will?”

  Mr. Williams couldn’t meet my eyes as he slowly nodded. He glanced nervously at Aunt Nora and she answered him with a severe shake of her head. “That’s impossible,” I repeated. “All of the money we had was used on Dad’s hospital bills and Mom’s medical bills. I have no money. Both you and Aunt Nora had told me as much before I left for the U.S.”

  “I can assure you that you do, Ms. Sharp,” he repeated with another shared look between him and Aunt Nora.

  Son of a bitch. I slowly rose to my full height and laid my hands flat on the table to steady them. “Aunt Nora, any reason why Mr. Williams seems to think I have enough money to keep a small country afloat?” I gritted my teeth. “When you specifically told me that I had no money left to continue my mom’s cancer treatments? You told me that you would graciously pay for my mom’s bills if I went to the U.S. and carried off your sick, twisted plans! What the hell is going on?”

  Aunt Nora waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, I must have been mistaken when I told you that you were out of money.”

  “How could you have mistaken that much money for zero money? Are you fucking kidding me? Tell me the truth, dammit! You owe me that much. My mother died yesterday and I didn’t even get to say bye to her because you blackmailed me into going to America to get revenge on Tristan for Mel. You. Owe. Me. The. Truth.”

  She sighed heavily, as if all this was oh so taxing on her. “Fine. I lied.” She shrugged.

  I saw red. “How dare you!” I shrieked. I blindly grabbed a vase of flowers from behind me and chucked them across the table at her. Unfortunately, I was too pissed to aim and the vase crashed behind them. Aunt Nora sat coolly while Mel yelped and ducked under the table. Mr. Williams stammered as I reached for another vase. Before I could throw that one, strong arms went around me. The vase was taken out of my hands before I could fling it to make up for the last one.

  “You bitch!” I sobbed as Tristan hugged me from behind—whether it be to soothe me or restrain me, I was beyond noticing at this point. I screamed incoherently through my tears at my aunt. She was a horrible person.

  “Shhh.” Tristan had his lips to my ear as he trie
d to calm me down. “Kate. Kate, stop.” He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. I knew that it was hurting him to see me in such pain, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Aunt Nora had done so much to me. I needed her to pay.

  One of the hardest things I had ever done was let Kate walk into that room by herself. I sat in the hallway as I waited for Kate to come back out. I was sure my hair looked like a bird’s nest at this point from the number of times that I had anxiously run my fingers through it.

  My girl had been through so much in these past few weeks. The worst part was that I hadn’t even been here by her side for most of it. Never again. Never again was I letting her leave without me.

  The sound of glass shattering inside the room snapped me from my thoughts. Kate, was all I could think as I jumped to my feet. I flung the double doors wide open as I stormed into the room. I had eyes for no one else as I sprinted to Kate’s side. She was shrieking as she reached for a vase of flowers behind her. I flung my arms around her and ordered the useless, bumbling lawyer to remove the colorful arrangement from her hands.

  Kate was yelling and crying, agony etched in her voice. The sound of her cries broke me and I assessed the room to find the source of her anguish. Mel was squatting under the table with her eyes peeking over the top as she watched her cousin and me. Nora’s lips curved into a truly horrible smile as she watched Kate’s breakdown.

  I didn’t know what was going on. I just knew something bad must have happened for Kate to be losing her shit like this. And whoever was the cause of it was going to pay. “Shhh. Kate. Kate, stop,” I pleaded with my lips against her bare shoulder. Her hair whipped back and forth as she struggled against my grasp.

  “Let me go, Tristan! She needs to pay! She needs to feel a fraction of the pain I’m feeling!” More thrashing. “She lied to me. She told me that I had no money. She said I wouldn’t be able to pay for my mom’s cancer treatments. I hate you!” she screamed.