Half to Death

by Robin Alexander

  *******

  Miranda walked into the store around ten in her uniform with a radio squawking on her hip. Her expression was dour as she said “good morning.” The events of the previous evening pushed away my giddiness like a bulldozer.

  “Marty said you looked like shit after you touched Deb and Angel.” Miranda leaned on the counter and looked at me with dread.

  “Our talk didn’t have any effect on Deb. She’s more intent on hiding her weight loss. She still thinks she needs to lose a few more pounds. I think Angel might be open to talk to us if we approach her gently.”

  “And then what?” Miranda asked wearily. “Some sort of intervention where we all gang up on her? Deb’s not the type of person to be affected by that. She’ll throw us all out, including Angel.”

  “Jade suggested we see a therapist that specializes in eating disorders. Maybe he or she can tell us what to do next.”

  Miranda rubbed the bridge of her nose as she considered what I’d said. “I can talk to some of the docs at the hospital. I’m sure they can recommend someone.”

  “Do you think Marty would be willing to talk to Angel? She’s got that gentle way about her, and Angel might be more receptive.”

  Miranda nodded. “Good plan. I’ll talk to her about it.”

  I poked her in the arm. “Don’t look so worried. At least we’ve gone from scratching our heads to a plan.”

  Miranda smiled slightly. “Jade held her own with the gang pretty well last night.”

  “Yeah, she did.” I felt my face flush and watched as Miranda’s brow rose. “She kissed me.”

  “No shit?” Miranda’s face transformed into a full-on smile.

  “It was one of the greatest feelings.” I shook my head to dispel the dreaminess that washed over me. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I wonder what she’s doing when we’re apart, and I find myself coming up with ways to see her all the time. She’s just so…different.”

  “Actually,” Miranda looked at me seriously, “you’re the one who’s different. You’ve changed and opened yourself up to something more than a casual fling. I’m so happy for you.”

  “Couldn’t have come this far without you. Thank you.”

  Miranda grinned. “I still get to live vicariously through you, though this time it won’t be through your exploits, just your happiness.”

  “You’re already happy. I might just get to experience what you have now.”

  A shrill tone emanating from the radio on Miranda’s hip made us both jump. “I gotta go. Have fun at the health club tonight. We both know you’re going without me.”

  *******

  At six, I closed the store. I changed into my workout clothes and ate a piece of chicken for fuel. I couldn’t wait to see Jade. Even if we did nothing but stare across the room at each other, I was thrilled. Just to be in her presence made me happy. But that giddiness evaporated when I walked in and saw Jacquelyn.

  I hadn’t noticed that she’d not been around. Her presence was like a vacuum sucking all the joy from the room as I stretched. She was barely sweating. Jade stood with her arms folded as Jacquelyn halfheartedly worked with the free weights. Unlike the rest of Jade’s clients who worked silently or released an occasional groan, Jacquelyn yammered constantly. I caught bits and pieces of what she was saying, and although she claimed she’d been on a business trip, it sounded more like she spent her time in bars.

  Jade looked up in the mirror and caught my eye. She nodded, and I caught just the hint of a smile.

  “So anyway,” Jacquelyn said loudly, calling Jade’s attention back to her. “I won’t be traveling again for a while. Maybe—” Her voice lowered again, and I could see Jade shaking her head and the perturbed look that crossed Jacquelyn’s face.

  I felt hostility rise up in me again. The temptation to leave and rid myself of that woman’s presence was strong, but I wasn’t going to let Jade suffer alone. I was sure that’s exactly what Jacquelyn would’ve preferred, so I mentally talked myself down. Look at Jade’s body language. She’s totally closed off. Notice the expression on her face. She doesn’t look at you like that. And last night, it was you she was kissing and panting over. I smiled then, cocky and confident, and no one noticed.

  When Jacquelyn’s time was up, she sauntered off, watching Jade in the mirror. Jade was watching me and my heart soared. She instructed her next client to begin her stretches before making her way over.

  “I was thinking,” I said with a smile, “the weather is supposed to be great this weekend. We could pack a lunch and head out to St. George. I’ll bring a wheelbarrow.”

  “I was thinking along the same lines,” Jade said as she watched her client. “We could spend the whole day on the beach, and I could cook for you that evening. How about Sunday?” I wanted Saturday and Sunday. She looked at me then as if reading my mind. “I have to work Saturday. By the time I get out of here, most of the day will be gone.”

  “You’ll probably be hungry after a long day like that. I could cook and you could relax.”

  Jade smiled then and not her usual gym smile. “I should be done here around three.”

  “Then it’s a date. Now go to work before the temptation to kiss you overwhelms me and I embarrass us both.”

  Jade hesitated a second and grinned before walking away.

  I finished my workout and stood in the corner with a bottle of water to cool down and watch Jade. She was suspended on two parallel bars and was pulling her knees up as she demonstrated for her client. The muscles in Jade’s arms and abdomen flexed as she lifted her legs. She was talking the entire time without any strain in her voice. I was mesmerized. My mind wandered over the planes of her stomach and chest and wondered what it would feel like to kiss that soft skin and feel the rigidity of the muscle against my lips.

  “Where are you?” Jade asked softly.

  I jumped when I realized she was standing beside me. “I was just…wondering when I’d be able to do that thing with the parallel bars as effortlessly as you do.”

  Jade cocked her head to the side. “Mm-hmm, I know what a woman in lust looks like.”

  “I bet you do,” I said, meeting her gaze.

  “The question is, do you?” She grinned. “I think not, or you would’ve already seen it in my eyes.” She walked away and looked over her shoulder with a wink.

  The weekend could not get here fast enough.

  *******

  Miranda was at my door the next morning when I opened for business. She held a bag that contained two yogurts and a bottle of apple juice for me orange for her. “Go to the gym last night?” she asked as she walked in.

  “Yep, got a date for the weekend.” I had a skip in my step as I went back to the counter, eager to work on my next creation, a shell necklace for Jade.

  Miranda took a stool and opened her yogurt. “When you say the weekend, do you mean one night or the whole enchilada?”

  “She has to work Saturday, but we’re having dinner that night, then Sunday, we’re gonna spend the day at St. George Island.” I threaded a shell onto a piece of deep green cord and began to weave the braid. “I can’t wait.”

  “So…you’ve kissed. This weekend could lead to…”

  I looked up slowly from my creation. “I have no expectations. Whatever happens will happen on its own time.”

  “Are you ready for that?” Miranda asked before popping a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth.

  “Oh, I’m ready,” I said with a growl that made us both laugh.

  “You know what I mean.”

  I went back to work on the necklace. “When we kissed, I couldn’t focus on anything but what I was feeling, it was easy. I can’t imagine that I won’t be able to control the images if it goes beyond that.”

  “Sex is a full body contact sport. You’re gonna feel every inch of her pressed against you. This will be the biggest test thus far.”

  I shivered as thoughts of what Miranda described danced through my mind.

 
“And then there are her emotions.” Miranda stopped talking and eating and stared off into space. “What if she has regrets or is unsatisfied?”

  Miranda had successfully heated me up, then poured a big fat bucket of ice water over my head without ever having to lift a finger. “Sometimes, it’s a real love-hate relationship with you.”

  She shrugged and went back to eating. “It was just a thought.”

  “Thanks for sharing. Now I’m going to have real performance anxiety. Probably won’t be able to relax to save my life.”

  “She’s a great kisser, I bet.” Miranda waved her spoon.

  I was not going on that roller coaster ride again. “Shut up.”

  Miranda chuckled. “So she must really love the beach like you do, or else she doesn’t give a rat’s ass and will go anywhere to be with you.”

  “I hope it’s both.”

  “Oh! Talked to a doc at the hospital, and she gave me the name of someone to call. She’s a nutritionist, and she’ll be able to recommend a good therapist. Marty’s gonna talk to Angel today and see if she’ll be willing to see her with us.”

  “Excellent, but be prepared for just me and you going if Angel chickens out. She’s afraid of irreparably damaging her relationship with Deb. She might not want to get into the driver’s seat on this one.”

  “That’s just weird to me. If it were Marty, I’d do whatever I had to get her well.”

  “You and Marty have a different relationship. Deb’s got a lot of insecurities, she’s defensive about everything. I imagine Angel has to walk on a lot of eggshells with her.”

  “She’s definitely defensive about her weight loss regimen. Did you see how she sneered at me the other night when she and Jade were talking about the diet plan? I had to bite my lip. I felt like she was daring me to say something.”

  The mention of Jade’s name made me smile, and my thoughts went to her. I wondered what she was doing and if she’d really like the necklace I was making her.

  “You’re not even in the room with me right now, are you?”

  I looked at Miranda. “Sorry, faded out there for a second.”

  “Yeah,” Miranda said with a chuckle, “skipping through Jade wonderland, no doubt.”

  “That beach house you rented for your anniversary last year, was it expensive?”

  “Oh, you little minx,” Miranda said with a chuckle. “They rent by the week. Are you going to close your store for that long?” Miranda tossed her empty yogurt container in the trash. “I could work for you on my days off, and Kaylie could take the weekend.”

  “Thanks, that’s really sweet of you,” I said with a smile. “It’s only twenty minutes away. I could still come in to work. Jade probably isn’t going to be able to get off for that amount of time anyway. We could spend our evenings and a weekend there, though.”

  “Business is slow for them right now. I’ve been getting a lot of emails with special rates. I’m sure they’d give you a good deal if I call.” Miranda cleared her throat. “That’s an overnight sleepover,” she said seriously. “Are you ready for that?”

  “It has two bedrooms, right?”

  Miranda snorted. “Do you really think you’ll go to your own corners when it’s bedtime?”

  “We might,” I said as I felt my face heat. “She said she’s happy we’re taking it slow.” I shook my head. “I just want to be with her. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that.”

  Miranda gave me that warm googly smile she used when she thought something was sweet. “Move over and let me use your computer.”

  Chapter 18

  Jade looked beat when she showed up at my house Saturday afternoon. It was just after three thirty when she arrived and dinner wasn’t going to be ready until six. So I talked her into lying on my couch and watching a movie. We were halfway into Castaway when I glanced over and noticed she was asleep.

  I watched her chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm. Her hands lay across her stomach and twitched slightly as she descended deeper into sleep. My eyes enjoyed a little feast as my gaze moved over long, well-defined legs. I’d never noticed the pale line just above her right knee, a two-inch scar from an injury that looked like it hadn’t healed well.

  I studied her hands next. I couldn’t imagine those long fingers typing away on a keyboard. Jade was all strength and physicality. I couldn’t see her at a desk job or anything that required her to be complacent for long periods of time. The skin of her arms looked soft, but I knew if I ran my fingers over it, I would feel the firm muscle beneath even in relaxation. I had avoided her face, saving it like I would when I ate a piece of cake up to that last icing-filled corner. Her lips were slightly parted, and I smiled as I remembered how they’d felt against mine—warm, full, and incredibly soft. Her face serene in slumber was absolutely gorgeous.

  But as I sat there looking at her, I realized what made Jade so beautiful. Behind the aloof exterior that she was allowing me to gradually see past was a sincerely lovely soul. I’d seen into her mind and felt her emotions, and with all the hurts of her past, there was no hint of bitterness or malice. Just desire to be loved and cherished and with equal intensity a longing to return that love and adoration.

  In her search, she’d chosen the wrong people, and for a second, I wondered why she’d chosen me. Was she trying to break the pattern or was she subconsciously drawn to what I used to be? Regardless, I was determined to be everything she wanted because as I sat there looking at her, I felt my heart slip away.

  *******

  “How long was I out?” Jade walked into the kitchen behind me.

  I turned from the salad I was making and grinned at her standing there with her hair pointing in all directions. “Almost two hours. You must’ve needed it, though, because my couch isn’t that comfortable.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Jade scrubbed at her face.

  “Don’t be. It made me happy to know that you feel that comfortable here.”

  “Can I help with anything? I can finish slicing that tomato if you want.”

  I shook my head. “Nope, I’ve already grilled the tilapia and veggies.”

  “I can fix drinks.” Jade reached past me and pulled two glasses out of the cabinet. “What would you like?”

  “Tea, no ice.”

  “No ice?” Jade opened the fridge and pulled out the pitcher.

  “It’s cold enough. Ice just melts and spoils the taste.”

  “Is this unsweetened?” Jade asked as she poured the tea.

  “Um…no.”

  “Ha! You sugar junkie.” Jade wagged a finger at me. “I bet if I looked in your pantry, there’d be sweets.” She took a sip from my glass and screwed up her face. “Oh, God, there’s enough sugar in here to send me into orbit.” She set the glass down and headed for the pantry.

  I dropped the knife and made it around the counter to block her. “It’s not safe. Don’t go in there.”

  “What’s gonna get me—the Pillsbury Doughboy?” Jade grinned.

  “Him and the Keebler Elves. Stay back for your own good.”

  Jade’s eyes went round. “Sloan!”

  I held up a finger. “Now look, those cookies have been in there since before I went on the diet. I haven’t thrown them out in case of emergency. I’m losing inches. I can wear shorts I haven’t been able to get into for years.”

  “Oh, really?” Jade said in a challenging tone. “Lift your shirt. Let me see your belly.”

  Unlike Jade and the other women at the gym, I did not work out wearing only a sports bra and shorts, so she wasn’t going to be able to see my improvements.

  “Show me the belly.” Jade inched closer with a grin.

  “It was pudgy when I first started working out, but it’s improved, I can assure you.” I took a step back as she moved closer.

  “So let me see it.”

  I took another step back. “Um, no.” I turned and ran.

  Jade chased me into the living room laughing. I stood on one side of the couch and she
on the other. “Are you hiding an ugly tattoo?” she teased as she rocked back and forth, making me do the same.

  “Nope, no tattoos.”

  “Is your belly button an outie?” Jade darted to one end of the couch while I ran to the other.

  “Nope, it’s an innie, and it’s impeccably clean.” I couldn’t help but giggle.

  Jade backed up, forcing me to move in front of the couch again. Her eyes twinkled with mischief as she watched me contemplate my escape.

  “The fish is going to burn.”

  Jade put her hands on her hips. “You are such a bad liar. You already told me you took the fish and the veggies off.”

  “Oh, yeah, right.”

  “Is it hairy? Is that why you’re hiding it?” she asked, making a face.

  “It is not,” I said indignantly. “It’s pale, though. I haven’t sunned it yet.” Jade was over the back of the couch in a flash, the coffee table was only a light skip to her after that. She caught me by the tail end of my shirt before I could get away. “All right,” I said with a laugh, “here it is.” I turned and lifted my shirt up until it fell just below my bra.

  Jade was grinning from ear to ear as she looked it over. She reached out a hand. “May I touch?”

  “Yes, but be careful of the muscle, it’s razor sharp. I felt the muscles I really did have quiver beneath her touch. She ran her hands down the center of my stomach. Her feelings came fast. She was pleased with the hardness she felt, which quickly gave way to an arousal that matched mine. And then she stepped back.

  “You really have been working hard,” she said in the professional tone she used at the gym.

  “Do you need to check the rest of me?” I asked, emboldened by the fire she’d stoked.

  Jade looked taken aback for a split second, then smiled. “Yes, I eventually will.”