The Art of Love (The Windswept Saga)
Page 25
“Not at all, ma’am.” He got to his feet and stretched out his arm muscles. “I have a beautiful wife waiting on me to come in and eat lunch. I’ll see you two lovebirds later.”
Taylor slid in behind Chandler, wrapping both arms around his shoulders. The warmth of his skin trickled into her, filling her veins with heat. “I missed you,” she said after a silent minute.
Her breath was hot on the back of his neck. “Same here,” he answered. “Did you have fun with the kids?”
She laughed agreeably. “Those two are balls of energy. Your sister must be in amazing shape.”
“She says that a lifetime of wrangling horses was good preparation for those two.” He gripped her hands and pulled her chest tighter to his back. “Nah, I’m just kidding. She said that, but was only joking. She definitely takes after Mom.”
Taylor moved her face close to his, balancing her chin against his shoulder muscle. “Chandler?”
“Hmm?”
“I think I’d like to be a mother again.”
He met her gaze with one eye, their faces practically touching. “I could help you with that, you know. Just say the word.”
Her expression faltered, turning from flirty to wistful. “Someday,” she revised. “Not right now.”
“Oh,” he replied. His face went tight, but he didn’t relinquish her fingers from his. “How would you like to swim a few laps before lunch?”
“I’d love to,” she said. She was in the lake before he could even draw another breath, slicing through the aqua water with ease.
***
Mark slid the perfectly-cooked steaks from the grill and onto a platter, balancing the entire thing with ease. “Lost again, huh?” he asked with a grin, reaching up to adjust his hat as they ducked through the back door. He placed the food atop the table where Christa was securing Max in a high chair that he was close to outgrowing. Chandler followed slowly, feeling loose-limbed after a day doing absolutely nothing.
“It wasn’t like that,” he countered in a soft tone. He tossed strips of grilled red bell peppers onto another platter. “The sun was in my eyes.”
Taylor, carrying a tossed salad from the fridge, shot him a torrid look. “He was staring at my…um, posterior,” she amended for Max’s sake.
“That sounds like Chandler,” Mark agreed humorously. Christa came up behind him, rubbing his shoulder as she removed his hat.
“No hats at the table, cowboy,” she scolded lovingly. He lowered his mouth to hers.
“Yes, ma’am.” She swatted him playfully on the stomach afterward before turning her attention to the room.
“Is everyone ready to eat?” she asked.
“Sure am, sis.” Chandler removed his hat and pulled out Taylor’s chair. “After you.”
“Thank you,” she said, taking her seat.
“It’s too bad we can’t get up here more often,” Mark suggested when they’d taken their places around the table.
Christa winked at him. “We could come up here over Christmas break,” she conjectured, “but the lake might be frozen solid.”
“And I can’t imagine either of us on ice skates,” Chandler joked with a laugh.
“Too ungainly,” Mark agreed, and they all laughed.
After dinner, Taylor insisted on cleaning up while Chandler and Mark went for a walk in the lingering fragments of daylight. Christa took the boys upstairs and put them to bed for the night, although the baby monitor was never far from her reach. The two women found a spot on the comfy, plaid-patterned couch, and Taylor pushed the hair away from her sun-burnished forehead.
“It must be a relief, or is it a bigger challenge?” she asked jokingly, then shook her head in humiliation. “Let me rephrase that. Is it easier to care for a classroom of kids, or two of your own?”
“Would you believe me if I said the classroom is easier?” she asked graciously. She adjusted her blonde ponytail, gathering up the loose strands with ease. “I invest in each of them, of course, but I only have them for a year. With my children, it’s a lifetime commitment. Thank God for Mark, you know? Anytime I get frazzled, which I assure you does happen, he’s right there to help. This summer is actually the most time I’ve spent with Matt, aside from breastfeeding. The moment he was born, I got to hold him. And then Mark came into the room and he became his father’s son.” She gave the room a cursory glance, making sure her brother and husband were still outside and out of earshot. “You know that Mark and I went through some marital problems—pretty severe ones—and I was afraid we wouldn’t survive them. I think we both did some refocusing of our expectations for marriage, and for each other. I wanted to be a better wife, and he wanted to be a better husband and father. Now that he’s committed to that, I’m not going to stand in his way. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”
“Divorce feels like the greatest failure of my life,” Taylor explained sorrowfully. She allowed her eyes to linger on the wall, where a large canvas hung, covered in pools of blue paint, horses running across the varying hues. Seemed a little abstract for Chandler, but it wasn’t likely his parents would’ve hung another artist in this house. “There was nothing I could have done to save my son, but my marriage…I could have fixed it. I closed down, put up walls, and pushed Liam out of my life completely.”
“I did that, too,” Christa agreed. She placed a hand in the middle of her chest for emphasis. “And I thought, ‘Take me instead…let Max live’. Mark didn’t realize how much he needed us. My pregnancy complicated things. I just couldn’t imagine being a single mother.”
“I’m the same,” Taylor replied. “If Riley had lived, I would still be married to Liam. We had a good marriage. I don’t think we ever fought over anything worse than curdled milk.”
“I wonder what Chandler would be doing now, if you hadn’t come back.”
“What was he like?” Taylor whispered consciously. “After we broke up? I left so quickly; I just couldn’t bear the thought of running into him, or being around here anymore. My life seemed so empty without my father, and I compounded that by pushing away my best friend.”
Christa shook her head. “Water under the bridge, T. Don’t borrow trouble from the past. Besides, you’d have to talk with Mark about that one. We may have been dating, but he spent most of that summer with my brother. It was the beginning of a long separation for the two of them. They’d been best friends from birth, grown up together—I guess they counseled each other, you know? I’m glad they never let their friendship falter. They’re a packaged deal, those two.” The two men spilled into the room, drowsy smiles on their faces. Chandler shut the door, locking out the night air. “That’ll be our cue to hit the hay,” Christa said with a wry smile. “Goodnight, Taylor. See you in the morning.”
“Goodnight.” She watched as Mark wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they disappeared up the staircase. Chandler came toward her, his features softening as he searched her face for something unspoken.
“Sorry I was gone so long,” he apologized, lowering to his haunches and looking her straight in the eye. “We got to talking about the future and lost track of time.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Her hands reached up to frame his face, and she ran one thumb along his open lips. “Your sister is good company.”
“You’ve made a friend for life,” he speculated. “You could move to the farthest corner of the planet, where they don’t even get regular mail, and Chris would still try to send you a postcard.”
“I’d rather not,” she said, feeling his breath coming quicker as she drew close to his face. She kissed him gently, with a quick motion. Then she crushed their mouths together, sliding her hands through the short blonde hairs at the nape of his neck. “Go to the ends of the Earth,” she clarified.
“Yeah?” he asked, gasping for air.
“Yeah.”
***
Sometime later, happily exhausted, Chandler lay on his side, watching his beloved doze. She nestled into his chest, fitted to him
like they were two pieces of one whole, and he swept his hand gently over the contour of her back and hip, finally resting it along her spine. He found himself wondering, in these times, what she dreamed about. He wondered if he was a part of her private reveries, or if perhaps she went into the past, when her son was alive, and relived those days. He figured they were the happiest of her life, even happier than the moments that they shared; the gripping ecstasy and the quiet intimacy, the intertwining of their souls that brought him to a place he’d never imagined in the depths of his mind. He’d wondered about it, but even a fleeting thought of passion couldn’t compare to what they’d created over these past months. He briefly thought of waking her, just to stoke the fire one last time. Instead he brushed his lips gently against hers and let the dream world take him prisoner. They’d have plenty of time in the days and weeks to come. Before he could drift away for good, shards of his conversation, earlier that evening, flowed back to the top of his head.
“Just buy the ring,” Mark begged. “If you don’t, I’m going down there to buy the damned thing myself and throw it at your head.”
Chandler stared at the lake, the wind tormenting its surface into ripples of disturbance. “Do you think I’m putting too much thought into this? I’d like to propose in some cool way, but nothing too over-the-top.”
Mark sighed. “Judging from the way you two look at each other, you could propose in the middle of our nephew’s birthday party and she’d be thrilled.” The two men chuckled at the mental image that created.
“I’d never show up Little Chase like that,” Chandler teased. “It’d be a contest to see who would kick my ass first—CJ or Alison.”
“True.” Mark looked at him and smiled. “I proposed on horseback,” he recalled. “Christa and I rode up to that empty piece of land, where we built our house, and I told her everything that was in my heart. For an eighteen-year-old who’d travelled a lot but still didn’t know much about the real world, I had an awful lot to say.”
“Do you remember any of it?” Chandler asked with genuine interest. He didn’t want to steal outright, but he’d be glad for some tips.
“Hell no,” Mark replied sheepishly. “I remember her face, how happy she was afterward. That’s pretty much it.”
Chandler smiled. “You know what, Mark? It sounds like that was the most important part.”
“You know what? All these years later, it was. I’d still do anything to make her smile—and luckily, it’s not that hard.”
He stared upward at the planed wood of the ceiling in a flash of consciousness, and then he was gone. He wasn’t letting her get away—not again.
***
“You sure you don’t need any help?” Chandler’s brow furrowed as he watched her, waiting for her to make the next move. She smiled and rested a hand against his right jaw.
“It’s just an overnight bag,” she argued. “Besides, I’m sure you have plenty to occupy your time.”
He shrugged slightly. “You would be right, Miss Holt. I’ve always got time for you, though.” He glanced around to the truck, where Mark and Christa were doing their best not to watch him say goodbye, and failing miserably at it. He smiled privately, though—their concern was touching. “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He pulled her frame against his, kissed her gamely.
“Thank you for this weekend,” she said. She picked up the bag, looked back at him with a small smile, and disappeared through the front door. He strolled down the sidewalk, whistling as he went.
Inside the house, Taylor called out for her mother, received a confirming reply from somewhere in the kitchen. She took the bag and placed it atop her bed, then pulled her hair up with a rubber band before joining her mother. She found Alice elbows-deep in cookie dough, the counter covered with enough bowls to make the aforementioned cookies.
“Mom,” she entreated in a firm but quiet voice, “let me help you with that.”
“Nonsense,” Alice replied with a twinkle in her blue eyes. “I lost the bet, after all.”
“It was an unfair bet,” Taylor said ruefully, and in self-reproach. “Besides, Blade and Raven married over Mitch’s hospital bed with his blessing, following the quintuple-bypass.”
“One of the more gruesome things I’ve ever seen on television. The surgery, not the wedding,” she revised with alacrity.
Taylor laughed and was glad when her mother joined in. “Let me stir that,” she offered. Alice handed her the bowl and she worked the spoon adroitly.
“How was your trip?”
Taylor leaned against the countertop, her eyes focused on the work at hand as she spoke. “It was great. Chandler and Mark are like a comedy team—one jokes and the other plays the straight man, and without warning they swap places and you’re left scratching your head while you laugh. And Christa has become a great friend—she empathizes with me. She knows what it’s like to sit beside your child’s hospital bed and feel completely helpless.” She let out a frustrated breath, not wanting to meet her mother’s worried gaze. “And she gives me relationship advice. I think she’s trying to let me know that she’d love to have me as a part of their family, but that loving Chandler will take some work.”
“Anything worth doing is worth doing well,” Alice posited gently, “and what is truly rewarding is usually not easily attained.”
She began to drop the dough in perfect lumps atop a greased cookie sheet. “Do you think I’m too…laidback…for him?”
“I think that’s a question only you can answer, sweetie.” Alice rested a hand on her shoulder. “Help an old lady out, T. What’s this ‘laidback’ you speak of?” she joked.
Taylor drew in a huge breath, then released it. “Chandler rarely takes a break from life. This weekend I caught him, several times, doing absolutely nothing, and I was relieved. When we’re together, he’s focused on me. Which is great. When we’re not otherwise occupied, he’s never at rest. He’s painting or sketching or working on something for the gallery. And if that’s not enough, he’s remodeling a house and other times he’s a ranch hand.” She swallowed hard. “I’m worried the man is going to burn out before he’s thirty.”
“Your fears are unfounded.” Alice placed several sheets of raw dough in the double ovens while she spoke. “Youth is the time for testing your limits, and staying up late and seeing if you can watch the moon and sun trade places just because you’re able. Or maybe,” Alice said, one eyebrow lifted, “you’re worried he’ll be unable to accommodate you into his life. One day you’ll wake up and be on the outside, looking in.”
Taylor gnawed on her lower lip as she stared at her mother. Alice’s face betrayed nothing—it was calm, free of either a trembling lip or a twitching eye. “Do you think Chandler would ever do that to me? Push me to the outside of his life?”
“No, I don’t,” her mother stated flatly. “I do think, however, that he loves you in a rare and special way, and when that happens, it’s very confusing, even disconcerting.” Taylor was privately amused, wondering where her mother would acquire such a vocabulary word. “For three years, I regretted that I had allowed you to break up with him.”
“Mom, that was my decision,” she interjected. “And mine alone.”
“Let me finish,” she said, extending a hand to cut off her daughter’s words. “I should have talked some sense into you but your father hadn’t been gone that long and we were both at loose ends, you and me. Like I said, for three years I had my regrets, until you told me you’d met someone else. You married Liam and I was finally able to put my guilt aside. Your father and I were married long enough for me to recognize all-consuming love, the kind you had with Chandler. And maybe you were both too young to have experienced it, but those things aren’t always up to us. Tread lightly, my beautiful girl. You’re playing a dangerous game here, looking for cracks and flaws in your relationship where there aren’t any. In doing so, you may wind up overlooking a real problem. When it comes, it’ll hit you so hard you’ll wind up flat on your back.”
She closed her eyes tightly—when she opened them again, wetness spilled over the lower lids. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I was so harsh with you just now.”
Taylor cleared the raw emotion from her throat and pulled her mother into a fierce hug. “You weren’t telling me anything I didn’t need to hear.”
“I know I push too hard sometimes. I only want what’s best for you.”
“I could use a good push every now and then, Mom.” That drew a laugh from Alice. “I’m stubborn.”
“One of your better qualities.” They pulled apart and their eyes met. “So tell me more about your weekend,” she redirected. “Spare no details, except the private ones.”
Taylor winked at her and spared a grin. “The lake was beautiful,” she recalled. “I must’ve spent hours staring at it, watching the water shift and move. Chandler and I went swimming, and then Mark grilled steaks. I helped with the kids...it was wonderful. Every part of it.” She sighed, reluctant to let go of the weekend and its memories. “You’re coming out to the ranch for the 4, right?”
“Of course,” Alice responded. “I wouldn’t miss it for all the chocolate chip cookies in the world.”
Chapter 23
The 4 of July started out as a scorcher and lingered in that pattern throughout the day, the stifling heat only breaking when the sun mercifully sank behind the hills. Waves of heat emitted from every surface, altering the appearances of houses, cars, even people; it was the type of hallucination usually reserved for sand-covered deserts. There was not even the slightest suggestion of wind to tamp down the torrid air—it stubbornly refused to grant the ranch, and its inhabitants, even a brief respite from triple-degree temperatures.
It was placed smack-dab in the middle of a frenetic week. The combined open house nearly wiped out Alison’s entire inventory, to the point she wouldn’t be able to re-open for at least another five days. Enough people to fill a small stadium had milled through the gallery, and afterward Chandler’s phone had rung until he finally shut it off and forwarded all calls to voicemail. He was relieved when it came time to head out to the ranch—no one could find him out there without his wanting them to, which was almost always a nice feeling. After putting in two long days at his side, even Taylor was probably tired of his company and ready to see him in a more casual situation.