Dying to Know
Page 27
Angel laughed through her tears. “I took it back because it bothered you so much. I gave Ernie one last year, too.”
Doc’s right eyebrow rose. “Your memory was the first thing to go.”
Yeah, well, there were still unanswered questions. “Then why was he acting so weird? He searched my house and hid my file on Salazar.”
Doc sighed, saying, “You still don’t get it. He didn’t want anyone seeing that file until he knew what you had in it. And later, searching the house, well, he wanted to make sure that Angel wasn’t involved. He was protecting you both. Idiot.”
“Oh. Shit. Of course.” Doc made a good point. He was also making me feel foolish. “What about the emails? Livingston’s business card?”
Doc said, “The business card was a clue and he followed it. Detectives detect. That’s what he’s been doing. Now, those mail-things I don’t know. In my time …”
“Emails?” Angel’s smile fought through the tears. “They were about Bear and Carmen—she’s in the middle of a nasty divorce. They are, well, you know …”
“I do?” Shit, yes I do know, they were having a secret fling. “Ah, I see. Bear and Carmen.”
She sighed. “If anyone found out, it would be a big mess for her. And more for him. He begged me not to tell you.”
I had been a fool—a jealous, dead fool. Early on, I said that if the roles were reversed—if Bear were dead and I were left behind—I’d tear this town apart looking for his killer. All this time, he was doing that for me, and I was too jealous to see it.
I looked at Doc and hoped for an excuse. “Hey, I’m new to this dead thing. You should have just told me.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m not the detective, you are.”
Bear moved closer to Angel and put his arm around her shoulders. All the time, though, he looked anxious and grim, like a parent finding the nerve to tell his child the goldfish died.
“Angela, listen …”
“No, Bear, you listen.” She whirled around and faced him. “He’s here, right here. Can’t you hear him? Can’t you see him?”
“I want to, I do. My God, he was my partner.” Bear started to cry. “My best friend. He’s gone, Angela. Please, don’t make this harder than it is.”
Doc touched my shoulder. “Oliver, you can fix this. You know how.”
“I do?” Something tingled in my head and I understood. I pulled my gold detective’s badge off my belt and looked at it. Of all the things that bonded Bear and me together, it was our love of this job. From the academy to just now, we were cops to the bone—partners … brothers. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
I reached out and pushed my badge into Bear’s hand. When our fingers touched, I felt that sparkle of power and life. But this time it was different, like a warm wave of morning sunlight running over me. He felt it, too—I know he did. He lifted his hand and his eyes exploded when he saw my badge in his grasp. He looked up, right into my eyes, and behind them, grief erupted.
“Oh my God. All this time … Tuck. I’m sorry. I never should have sent you home.”
“No, no, then Ernie would have killed Angel.” I hugged him and we both cried. “It’s all right, partner. I’m sorry—me. With all that’s happened, all this insanity, I forgot the rule. You and me—partners to the end. And longer. It wasn’t your fault.”
He turned away so no one would see him melt. All the while, though, he held onto my badge while his hulking frame trembled. His fingers tightened on it as his grief flowed out, escaping from whatever crevasse it was buried, cleansing away the guilt of sending me home early to my death.
Doc said, “Good for you, Oliver.”
“Tuck?” Angel looked at Doc. “It’s over now. Are you leaving?”
“I don’t know.”
“You ass.” Doc threw back his head and laughed. “I can’t believe any great-grandson of mine is so stupid. I told you, I’ve been around nearly sixty years. Do you think you can solve one or two little murders and poof, you’re home free?”
“Great-grandson?” Ghosts are hereditary?
Doc winked at Angel and ignored Spence’s stunned face staring at him. “No, Angela. You’re stuck with him. At least for a while.”
“Oh, thank you.” Her face lightened and the tears—good ones I think—poured out again. “Thank you.”
As Doc faded, it struck me that everything I feared as a child was real. When I was six, I believed in monsters—they were in my closet, the attic, and waiting in the dark. Later, my third-grade teacher, Mrs. Young, told me they were imaginary. She was wrong. Ernie Stuart was a monster. He became one when he slayed Amy and Caroline all those years ago. Later, he fed his macabre hunger on Salazar, McCorkle, and me.
Perhaps there were others, too. I fear that.
Yet, in the end, Ernie’s victims stopped him. Each of us played a role. Because when there are monsters, there are ghosts. And we all want something—peace, justice … revenge. After all, he made us. He answered to us. So, if my death is for anything, it is to stop monsters like Ernie Stuart.
I really don’t have a choice, do I?
the end
acknowledgments
So many to thank, so little room…
First, I learned so much about writing from Melanie Rigney—Editor For You—who helped me focus my characters and kill off those despicable adverbs. For oh-too-many rewrites goes my thanks to Nic Davis—Editor Extraordinaire—for finding time to do “just one more draft.” Endless thanks to Wally Fetterolf for his equally endless wisdom and his mantra “good enough is not good enough.” To my readers who gave counsel and encouragement, and demanded more books—Laurie, Jean, Lindsay, and Natalia. Now, I’ve finished another book…all of you get back to work!
My biggest appreciation goes to my amazing agent, Kimberley Cameron, for giving me a chance and believing in my work. Your advice and support has been invaluable. You said you’d find Tuck a home and you did.
And thanks to all the great folks at Midnight Ink for giving Dying To Know a home. Each of you has been a pleasure to work with and has made this experience everything I hoped it would be.
There are others, too, but I’ll save them for the next book.
about the author
Tj O’Connor is an international security consultant specializing in anti-terrorism, investigations, and security programs—life experiences that drive his novels. With his former life as a government agent and years as a consultant, he’s lived and worked around the world in places like Greece, Turkey, Italy, Germany, the United Kingdom, and throughout the Americas—among others. He was raised in New York’s Hudson Valley and lives with his wife and three Lab companions in Virginia where they raised five children. Dying To Know is the first of his novels to be published.