Her Texas Cowboy

by Jill Lynn

  And wasn’t that the worst of it? To have faith as a kid and then not have it answered in the way he’d known God could answer? It had taken Hunter years to work through that knowledge. To wrestle with God about it. Eventually they’d tussled to the point where God had won. Hunter trusted Him now, almost because of that hurt. He’d had to realize the world was fallen and not what God created it to be. He’d had to trust that what the Bible said was true—that God loved him and had good plans for him. Hunter had chosen faith instead of doubt. But it had taken him a long while to get there.

  Rachel had stayed silent. Waiting. Listening.

  “Turns out she was at peace because she’d decided to leave. When Dad told me she was taking off...that’s when I figured out what had been going on.” He’d been nine, but felt as though he’d grown into an adult in that moment. In the realization that she hadn’t been getting better. Hadn’t wanted to stay for them. She’d been relieved to be running away, even knowing she was going to break her kids’ hearts. Or maybe she’d just never really thought beyond her own escape.

  Never realized what it would do to them.

  Tears were silently slipping down Rachel’s cheeks. He wanted to reach over and gently wipe them away but the move would be too intimate. Too much like something he’d once had the right to do. Hunter searched the backseat, grabbed a box of tissues and handed it to her.

  She snagged one and swiped under each eye. “You never told me that.”

  “I put it out of my mind most of the time. But for whatever reason, the week of... It always gets to me. I’m sorry I made you cry.” He’d always hated to see her in tears. With Rachel, those occasions were few and far between, but when she did cry, it made his chest feel like it was being run over by a tractor.

  “I’m sorry your mom stinks.”

  His mouth curved. “So eloquent.”

  “What? It’s true.” The sound of her laughter reached in, filling the canyon-sized cracks in his heart.

  She’d redeemed this no-good day for him. Did she know that? This friendship business was going to be harder than he’d originally thought.

  “You were pretty crabby when I forced you out of the house tonight.”

  He stayed facing her instead of the stars. One view he could have forever. The other would likely only last a few more weeks. “I don’t really like you. You totally ruined my night.” His grin stretched far too wide to make his words even remotely believable.

  She answered his smile with a gorgeous one of her own. The kind that stole all coherent thought. That had made him suggest they get married even though he’d known better.

  “That works out well, then, McDermott, because I don’t really like you, either.”

  Chapter Seven

  “I need to leave at five.”

  Hunter knew his dad had heard him by the way a scowl creased his weathered cheeks.

  His father’s gray hair was thick under the rim of his hat. The gray had come in slowly over the last decade, reminding Hunter that his dad was getting older. Probably too old to continue ranching for another twenty or thirty years as he’d like to do. Not that Hunter would have a say in any of his father’s decisions. Dad had always done things his own way. Rachel might have a touch of stubborn, but his father dug his feet in hard then poured cement around them.

  Dad branded while Hunter held the calf’s head still and their vet, Willie—who looked about as old as the sun itself—administered shots. Hunter couldn’t remember a time when Willie hadn’t sported bright white hair. It was as if he’d always existed and never aged. In a simultaneous movement born from years of working together, they let go while one of the hands ushered the next calf down the chute.

  “What’s that supposed to mean? Think you’ve got a nine-to-five job, all of a sudden, and you clock out on Friday?”

  A parade of calves had already gone through today, and they weren’t done yet. Normally Hunter would never leave something half finished. He worked as long and hard as any of the hands—longer most days. Just like his father. Dad could have quit showing up years ago. Holed up in the office and let everyone else handle the dirty work. But he still worked the ranch every day.

  “Nope. I’ve just got something I need to do.”

  His dad grunted. “You leave early, we lose money.”

  So what if they lost a few dollars? Some things in life were more important than making a buck.

  It was the youth group lock-in tonight, and Greg had asked Hunter to help. They were going all-out with games and fun activities. Lots of kids were inviting friends, and the RSVP list had grown bigger in the last week, causing Greg to call for reinforcements.

  Hunter had been happy to help.

  Growing up, his family had always gone to church. Even after Mom left, Dad continued going. But it had felt more like the thing to do and not like a relationship with God. Hunter had learned about God and grace when he’d started attending youth group. That’s when he’d grown close to Him. So, was it such a shock he wanted to help provide that opportunity for other kids?

  Dad didn’t talk about God much, but every so often Hunter would see his Bible out as if he’d been reading it. His father was a confusing man. A mix of hard business and quiet expectations. Hunter had never wanted to let him down or disappoint him. But he’d grown up in the last few years and started standing up for himself. Surprisingly, Dad had given in on Hunter buying into the ranch and building his own place. Maybe because he’d realized he would lose his son if he didn’t budge. Hunter would gladly attempt to mend the stilted years between them and move forward like he was doing with Rachel, but he didn’t know where to start.

  “Yep. You’re right. We are spending extra money when I leave.” They let the calf go. Waited for the next and repeated the same motions with it. “But I don’t want to make the ranch my whole life.” Like you did after Mom left.

  If the words made an impact, his father didn’t show it. Hunter motioned for one of the hands to switch places with him and then took off for his truck.

  It was a waste to do any more explaining. Dad would never understand. He’d made horrible mistakes with Mom, and Hunter didn’t plan to repeat any of them. Especially not with Rachel. They were getting somewhere, and he was feeling freer with each day that passed. The anger and hurt he’d held on to for so many years had been like a weight strapped to his back. But each day, more of that disappeared. He was starting to believe he and Rachel really could move on and have a friendship.

  That he might not turn into his father, like he’d feared he would. Dad didn’t know how to forgive or let go or move on. He’d let the past turn him gruff and bitter. Hunter was well on his way to avoiding those same blunders.

  He’d realized something the other night when Rachel had shown up at his house and forced him out. When she’d saved him from his own sorrows. Or, at least, shared them with him.

  She was changing.

  Opening up, bit by bit—and not just with him. When she’d first come home, all the walls had been up and operational. But time seemed to be softening her.

  And he was starting to think God might be using him to help with that. This whole journey of letting go and healing what had happened between them might have nothing to do with him. It might have everything to do with her and what God was doing in her life.

  And he was okay with that. Willing to be a part in whatever way God wanted him to be. Hunter had given up his own plans years ago. And now he trusted that whatever God had in store would likely surprise him, most often push him and always be better than what he’d expected.

  * * *

  Rachel checked the time on her phone, which was perched on the kitchen table. She and Olivia were having a cup of coffee after dinner at five thirty on a Friday evening—totally something her parents would have done—because she hoped it would help her stay up while wrangling teens at the lock-in toni
ght. Olivia didn’t have the same excuse. Her need for caffeine was based purely on addiction.

  Cash was still out working, and the boys were now playing in the living room.

  When Pastor Greg had called Rachel yesterday morning, she’d had no idea why his name had popped up on her phone screen. Admittedly her first thought had been panic. Fear that she’d done something wrong with the float or the teens. Visions of high school had flooded back, and it had taken a few seconds of conversation to realize that he wasn’t contacting her about a problem—he’d been calling to ask her to help chaperone the lock-in.

  That realization had felt like dipping her feet into a pool on an achingly hot summer day. Refreshing to be asked to help instead of being asked to change her behavior.

  She’d said yes.

  Rachel welcomed another opportunity to show the town she’d changed. That she wasn’t the same messed-up kid anymore. She liked people looking up to her. Respecting her. Not headed in her direction to reprimand her for another bad decision.

  “Have you heard anything about the job?”

  An ache flashed beneath her ribs at Olivia’s question.

  “Nope.” Nothing in the few weeks she’d been home. Rachel had been told it would take time, but she was anxious to find out something. Anything.

  “I texted my friend Dana. She works in human resources and she’s the one who told me about the job in the first place. She’s going to sniff around and see what she can find out.”

  Rachel was trying to be patient, but it wasn’t her strong suit. She’d been stalking the campus online. It was gorgeous, with beautiful old buildings and a grassy outdoor space. She’d be close to the coast. Shops and restaurants at her fingertips. She missed living in the city. Not that this life wasn’t good. It just wasn’t what she wanted.

  But until she heard more, Rachel would just have to keep doing what she was doing. Now that she and Hunter were in a good place and he’d returned to himself after dealing with the emotions of his mom leaving, she could turn her concentration elsewhere.

  Which for her, meant Bree. The girl was never far from her mind, and Rachel assumed God was putting that pressure there for a reason.

  She’d heard Bree talking on Wednesday night about going to the lock-in, and it had given Rachel another reason to agree to chaperone. She wanted to get to know Bree better, and tonight would hopefully provide more opportunity to do that.

  “I’d better get going. I need to be at the lock-in early for an instructional meeting. I’m sure it takes more than a few rules to keep the kids out of trouble.” She shuddered. “Can you imagine what I would have done at something like this?”

  Olivia laughed. “You would have caused Cash more than a few gray hairs.” She twisted her coffee cup. “But, then again, you know every teenager does stuff—every adult, for that matter, does stuff they regret. That’s why there’s forgiveness and grace. God doesn’t keep a list of mistakes, Rach. And neither does your brother.”

  She wasn’t so sure. Sometimes Rachel felt like people were watching her. Waiting for her to screw up. She’d never been able to shake the thought that her next disgrace was right around the corner. Probably why she worked so hard to make sure that didn’t happen.

  In school, she’d been so focused on gaining her degrees and succeeding that at times she’d forgotten the social side. Sure, she had friends. But when it came down to it, very few people knew her inside and out.

  Olivia did, and her sister-in-law still loved her. That had to count for something.

  “You have everything you need for tonight?”

  “I packed a small bag and I took a nap earlier. Hopefully it’s enough to tide me through.”

  “They really don’t sleep?”

  “I don’t know. I think they bring sleeping bags. I know there’s a girl’s quarters and a guy’s quarters, and I’m hoping that some of them will want to sleep, which will allow me to do the same.”

  They both stood, and Olivia gave Rachel a hug. “Don’t forget to have some fun.”

  “I’ll do my best.” Rachel headed for church. When she arrived, she pulled into the far side of the lot—the portion not covered in jousting stands, a huge blow-up slide, a batting cage and a Velcro wall. A misting tent was set up to help combat the summer heat. The kids would love this. Rachel might even be willing to try something out herself—for the sake of the teens, of course. Just to make sure everything was safe and functioning properly.

  She had a bit of a competitive streak in her. Nothing compared to Liv, but perhaps a close second. She’d known there would be games, so she’d worn casual clothes. Capri jeans with a few textured tears and holes, a dark blue V-neck T-shirt and strappy flat sandals that tied around her ankles. She’d thrown her running shoes in her bag just in case she needed them.

  She tugged her backpack out of the backseat but left her sleeping bag to retrieve later. Then she strode across the parking lot, not wanting to be late for the meeting in the church library.

  When she stepped inside the room, Greg was already attempting to gain the group’s attention. Oops. She slid in along the right wall of the filled room and spied a window ledge to perch on in the back. She dropped her backpack on the floor and braced herself on the makeshift seat, stretching her legs out.

  The chair in front of her, one of the wheeled seats that surrounded the huge oblong table in the middle of the room, scooted back until it almost bumped into her sandals. She inched her feet away from its path. No reason to ruin a perfectly gorgeous pair of shoes over someone who obviously lacked personal space boundaries. And...there came that snarky side she tried to tamp down. Rachel glanced up, hoping whoever it was couldn’t decipher her true musings, when her mouth filled with dust.

  She recognized those shoulders in a charcoal-gray T-shirt, his cropped, disheveled hair and, as he turned slightly to face her, the light layer of scruff covering his cheeks.

  Hunter leaned against the back of his chair, stretching its mechanical limits.

  “Hey.” He grinned at her.

  Her traitorous mouth curved in response before she could even decide if she wanted to smile back. The sight of him had her stomach tumbling like a child rolling down a grassy hill. She hadn’t known Hunter was helping, hadn’t expected to see him. She would have prepared if she’d known. Shored up any off-limits, giddy, girly excitement that might ignite at his presence.

  Thoughts about being happy to see him had no business sprouting when she hadn’t given them permission.

  “I didn’t know you were going to be here.” She kept her voice to a whisper. “Are you stalking me?”

  The faint echo of dimples etched his cheeks before his eyes narrowed. “I didn’t know you were helping, either. Maybe you’re stalking me.”

  Greg’s instructions continued to drone on: No boys and girls left together without a chaperone in any part of the church. Roped-off areas are off-limits. Kids found going into them will be sent home without any warning.

  “Don’t you have a ranch to run?”

  “Yep.”

  “Don’t you have other things you should be doing? How do you have time for this?”

  He met her gaze with heat. “I have time for this. It’s important.”

  Sweet man. He certainly had his priorities in order. One day—likely soon—he’d find a woman who wouldn’t let him get away like she had. Hunter would be a great husband. Attentive. Fun, yet steady as the Rocky Mountains she’d recently left behind. Why hadn’t he ever gotten married? Had she messed that up for him? Or had he just not found the right one?

  And why, oh, why, was she thinking about marriage right now? In the same thought as Hunter?

  “And that’s about it.” Greg announced. “Other than that, we just want everyone to have fun. This is an outreach night, so a lot of the kids have invited friends. We’re hoping that once they feel at home here,
they’ll be willing to come back again on Sunday nights for youth group. And if anyone is interested in helping with the float for the Independence Day parade, Hunter and Rachel are heading that up on Wednesdays.” Greg motioned in their direction, and Rachel jolted back to her windowsill perch, face warm, while Hunter lazily turned around to face the group. Why had she stayed that close to Hunter after they’d stopped talking? Embarrassing.

  Just because Hunter was here and she hadn’t expected him to be didn’t change anything. Just because her heart had pitter-pattered at the sight of him didn’t mean she had to worry. They were friends. That’s why she was happy to see him.

  Rachel had a plan for tonight that had nothing to do with the distracting shoulders in front of her. And, like Yoda, stick to it she would.

  Chapter Eight

  They were winning.

  And so was Rachel. Behind the church was a sand volleyball court. And in the midst of a match, the teens had begun referring to her as coach. The word made her smile on so many levels, including deep in the part of her that secretly wondered if she was ever going to amount to anything. To be whoever God wanted her to be.

  Rachel had thought of Olivia as her coach for years, because that’s the role she’d played in Rachel’s life in the beginning—on and off the court. It had taken Rachel a long time to call her Olivia or Liv. The fact that the kids were now referring to her with the same endearment and respect had Rachel feeling rather giddy.

  Plus, there was Bree. She’d been on Rachel’s team for the last hour, and they’d been taking down one competitor at a time. With each play, game and subsequent win, her face had lost another inch of scowl. She’d even smiled at Rachel a few times. Nothing raised a person’s mood like winning.

  They only had to score two more points to be named lock-in volleyball champions. And when the ball hit the sand for the second time, the girls screeched and cheered. Rachel received a number of hugs, her hope soaring. Leave it to sports to be the glue that melted any concern over her.