Dirty Little Secrets

by Lizzie Shane

  “Mine’s closer,” he murmured against the shell of her ear and she shivered deliciously. So freaking responsive. As if she’d been wound as tight as he was, primed to explode at the barest touch.

  “Aiden…” They made it through the door into the master and she angled her head to give him access to her throat as he guided her back toward the bed. “What are we doing?” she whispered, though she didn’t pull away.

  “Everything,” he groaned—before he realized how that sounded and leaned back to look into her eyes. “Everything you want.” He wanted every inch of her, but he didn’t want her to have a single regret. He wouldn’t push.

  “You don’t have to—” She broke off, blushing.

  “What?” He stopped moving, even his hands—which had been enjoying the landscape.

  Her chin ducked downward before her lush lashes slowly lifted as she raised her gaze to his. “You don’t have to keep checking to make sure I’m with you. I’m with you. I want everything.” Her blush intensified. “If that’s what you want…”

  “I want you.”

  Her lashes swept down, shielding her eyes. “Aiden…”

  “You’re incredible, you know that?” That brought her lashes up, her eyes huge and filled with something luminous and vulnerable. “Incredible,” he repeated, his voice rough.

  He had to kiss her then. Freaking had to. When they fumbled with one another’s clothes and she fell onto the mattress with a breathless laugh, he drew her beneath him so quickly her laugh broke off mid-breath. Heat struck like a lightning bolt between them and he fought to hang onto control. “It’s been a long time for me.”

  “Me too,” she breathed in reply.

  “I want it to be amazing for you,” he said raggedly, trying to explain the tension already ratcheting his body tight with need. He’d wanted her for too long for this to last, no matter how he tried to hold on.

  “It already is,” she whispered, arms and legs coming around him, holding him tight.

  His heart jolted and kicked into a rapid beat as he settled against her. He had a feeling he knew exactly what she meant.

  *

  Samira tried to concentrate on the storm of sensation coursing through her. She tried to cling to each sensation, to ride each tide of heat to its peak, but her head kept getting in the way.

  It was amazing because it was Aiden, but no matter how she tried to focus on his touch, his kiss, the feel of him pressed marvelously against her, she kept hearing her ex’s voice in her mind. The gently mocking laugh, You aren’t very good at this, are you? Or the more derisive lash of his voice when she’d disappointed him, Can’t you lose some weight? How can I be attracted to you when you’re so fleshy. Fleshy. It was such an odd word and it echoed in her head now. Were her hips too wide? Her thighs too flabby? Her stomach not flat enough? Would Aiden find her just as unattractive as Trevor had? Every time Aiden touched her, she tried to focus on the feel of his hands, but when he coaxed her thighs apart all she could think was that they were too fat, he was going to be disgusted by her, he was going to pull away.

  She reached between them, taking him in her hands, intending to stroke him, but Aiden groaned and put his hand over hers to stop her. “I’m not going to last if you keep doing that.” He sounded pained. He pulled her hands away, pinning them beside her head, and lowered his head to whisper against the shell of her ear, “I’ve been going crazy wanting you for weeks.” A kiss against the side of her neck as he released one of her hands and stroked down the curves of her body in a long slow sweep. “I wake up thinking about you. Dreaming about you.” His mouth touched a spot on her throat that made her entire body shiver and he groaned. ”You know it was you I was thinking of when you walked in on me that day.”

  “Really?” She couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice. This was Aiden. He was a god among mortals. He was everything. And he fantasized about her?

  “Really.” Then he stroked her lightly at the apex of her thighs and for a moment Samira forgot to be nervous. She groaned helplessly as he worked her with deft fingers and whispered words until she was writhing and gasping beneath him.

  She begged, “Please, Aiden.” But suddenly the warm weight of him left her and she felt a single stab of panic as the cool air touched her skin. Then he was back, condom wrapper clamped between his teeth, his weight pressing her down into the softness of the mattress, suiting himself up, settling himself between her thighs, stroking her again to bring her right back to the fever pitch, always taking care of her, always thinking of her, and her heart’s defenses collapsed under the onslaught of his sweetness even before he worked himself inside her and she lost all thought of sweet in the rush of, “More,” and gasps of his name.

  He guided her legs up, changing the angle—and everything changed. Samira changed, at an elemental level, everything she’d known about sex disintegrating in the explosion of sensation that tightened her muscles even as it sent sweet, decadent bliss pulsing through her veins in a wave of pleasure.

  Aiden kept moving, driving into her—making a liar of himself when he’d told her he wouldn’t last, staying his own release until her first had faded and she could feel the tension ratcheting tight again. He reached between them, thumbing her nub in a hard circular motion that curled her toes and flung her into a second orgasm that was twice as wrenching and violent as the first. She screamed—actually screamed in bed—and Aiden’s hand slapped over her mouth to catch the sound as he buried his face in the pillow beside her head and groaned, long and loud, hips jerking helplessly as he found his own release.

  After a long, delicious moment, his hand fell away from her mouth, his weight still pressing her down, both of them fighting to breathe.

  “Oh my—“

  “God,” he finished for her.

  She chuckled, winding her arms around him, reveling in the feel of this moment. “And to think you wanted to just be friends.”

  He snorted without lifting his face from the pillow. “That wasn’t my idea,” he mumbled.

  “You’re the one who put us in the friend zone,” she reminded him.

  “No, I didn’t.” He levered himself off her and she barely stopped herself from whimpering at the loss. He rolled away to take care of the condom and she reached for the covers, tugging them up over her in the absence of his warmth. “You called me nice. Nice is what women call men they aren’t interested in romantically.”

  “No, it isn’t,” she argued, as he slid back into bed beside her. “Nice is what I call the best man I know.”

  He propped himself on one elbow beside her, looking down into her face. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” She curved her hand behind his neck and drew him down to her again, delighting in the feeling of being allowed to kiss him.

  The kiss melted into another. And another. And after a much slower exploration of one another, he was reaching for another condom and she was screaming through another orgasm.

  Falling back to the bed afterwards, he tugged her against his body to spoon. “I never would have pegged you for a screamer.” She blushed, ducking her head, but he just pulled her tighter. “No, I like it. I love it. You’re incredible, Samira. I just have to remember to muffle you so the girls don’t come running in here to figure out why I’m murdering you.”

  The girls. She’d forgotten all about them, sleeping down the hall—which was probably a good thing. She’d never have been able to do the things she’d done with Aiden if she’d been thinking of him as their father the whole time. But they did need to be careful. Her face heated. “I should go.”

  His arms tightened around her. “No,” he grumbled, burying his face in the hair at her nape.

  “The girls. It will confuse them if they realize I’m sleeping in here. Or if they need something in the night and I’m not in my room.”

  “They almost never need anything in the night.”

  “Aiden…” She tried to twist out of his arms.

  “All right.” He released her, tho
ugh he seemed to touch every inch of her in the process. “At least until we can figure out—”

  “What this is?”

  “I was going to say how to tell them.” He caught her then, pulling her back into his arms for one last kiss. “Do you really not know what this is?”

  She hoped she knew. But she was afraid to ask. Because she knew what it was for her and if it wasn’t the same on his end, she wasn’t ready to know. Because for her, it was big. L word big. And anything less in return—it would break her tonight. She could hear the truth in the morning, when she was fully dressed and her defenses were back up, but not now. “I know,” she whispered instead, leaning in for one last kiss, before gathering up her clothes, putting on just enough of them to be decent and retreating toward the door.

  “You could stay just a little longer,” he coaxed, rising from the bed, utterly unselfconscious about his nudity—and the sight was more tempting than pretty much any temptation she’d ever had in life.

  But she merely smiled. “Good night, Aiden.”

  “Good night, Samira.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  For the next few weeks, Aiden found himself whistling through life, happier than he could remember being in ages. Not that he’d been unhappy for the last year—he had his family and a job he loved even if he worked too much. He hadn’t been in any position to complain, but now it was as if his life had been filled up with light.

  He went to work. He came home. He played with the girls. Nothing really changed. Except for the way Samira would blush and duck her head to hide her smile when he caught her stealing a look at him while the girls were regaling him with the details of their day. And the fact that now when the girls were in bed, instead of retreating to his office for a few more hours of work, he would spend those hours with Samira. Sometimes in bed, but often just talking or watching a sappy romantic movie curled up on the couch.

  Life was good. He’d told his bosses that he needed to scale back on work for family reasons and cut his hours back to a slightly more reasonable sixty hours a week. He still wanted to make a difference, but he wasn’t trying to be the best in the firm anymore. He’d started thinking more actively—and less in a someday, pipe-dream sort of way—about making a career change. Last week when he’d woken up at four with his mind racing, he’d spent the hours researching what was involved in running for the State Senate.

  Something had woken him up—gotten him thinking about the future and what it could be rather than putting one foot in front of another and trudging toward tomorrow.

  If he hadn’t still been so worried about Charlotte, things would have been perfect. He wanted to talk to her in person, express his brotherly concern, but she was so busy with wedding plans they ended up playing phone tag and it was two weeks before he caught her one Saturday afternoon at the estate.

  “Aiden!” Charlotte rushed over to him, heels clicking on the tile pavers. “I forgot this was your day to visit Grandfather.” She gave him a quick hug before stepping back and looking around his legs. “Where are the girls? Didn’t they come with you?”

  “Walters lured them away with promises of leftover cake samples.”

  Charlotte’s face lit. “We had our tasting yesterday. The lemon chiffon is to die for. You must snag a bite before the girls eat all the samples.”

  “Actually, I was hoping to talk to you. We haven’t seen much of each other since you got engaged.”

  “I’ve been busy, haven’t I?” Charlotte beamed. “Still. Planning a wedding is no excuse for being a horrible sister. Walk with me? I’m meeting Mother and the wedding planner on the south lawn to decide on the placement of the altar.” When he fell into step beside her, she linked her arm through his. “How have you been? We can talk about anything you want.”

  “Actually, I was hoping to talk about you and Tug.” It seemed unlikely he would get another chance.

  “My favorite topic,” Charlotte gushed. “As long as you aren’t going to tell me I’m rushing into things.”

  He felt a flush rising up his neck and Charlotte groaned.

  “Aiden! I know what I’m doing.” She shook her head. “You’re just like Dad.”

  “Dad was worried?” When a cloud shaded her expression, he explained, “We’re only worried because things are moving so quickly and we don’t know him.”

  “But I do. I know you mean well, but you have to understand… Tug is amazing. He’s literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. He’s my fate, Aiden. And I’m his. Ever since the day we met, I’ve felt so treasured. He makes me feel that. I know he’s blustery at times and in some ways he’s a little bit of an acquired taste, but you should see how he is when we’re alone together. So thoughtful and considerate. He’s my Prince Charming, Aiden. Please. Please, be happy for me.”

  His chest tightened. How could he say no to that? He wanted Charlotte to be happy and if Tug really did that… how well did he know the man anyway? He had to trust Charlotte. Trust that she knew what she was doing with her heart.

  “I am happy for you,” he said.

  And he hoped she was right. Marriage was hard. Love hurt. And after losing Chloe what felt like twice—once to the bitterness that had swallowed her when she was sick and then again when she passed—he wouldn’t have wished it on anyone. Maybe his own fear of losing his heart again had prejudiced him against Tug, his own reservations making him see parallels to Samira’s marriage where none existed.

  Charlotte beamed at him. “Good.”

  He still worried about her, but hearing her talk about how Tug made her feel…

  It had been a long time since he’d felt anything like that. The excitement. The possibility. But lately…

  Samira’s face filled his thoughts.

  They’d have to be careful. Take it slow. But neither of them were rash people. That’s how they would have done things anyway. This could work. This could really be something.

  Aiden and Charlotte arrived at the side lawn where his mother was already speaking to the wedding planner, laying out her vision. Maddie and Stella had apparently been kicked out of the kitchen, because now they raced across the lawn, shrieking delightedly—and loudly accused one another of cheating at whatever game they were playing.

  Charlotte immediately dropped his arm to join the wedding planner and Aiden expected his mother to swan off with the two of them, but she stayed behind, watching the girls instead as Aiden came to stand beside her.

  “They’re so different,” Regina marveled, without taking her eyes away from Stella and Maddie. “I could never get over how different you children were from one another, but I could explain that away with differences in age or how old you were when we lived various places—but with the twins they’re right there, going through life side-by-side and Maddie is all Chloe with those moods and Stella is so… calm. So composed.” She looked up at him wryly. “Where could she possibly get that?”

  He was tempted to say from Samira, who was always so calm with her, but he focused on another truth. “Maybe she takes after her grandmother.”

  Regina smiled at him, gentle with reproof, and took his arm. “Charmer.”

  Aiden let the silence sit between them for a moment as the girls charged across the lawn, screaming with laughter. Then he murmured, “He didn’t recognize me today.”

  He’d visited his grandfather before he ran into Charlotte. Dalton had been confused and fractious, demanding he be allowed to speak with David—whoever that was.

  “The good times come and go,” Regina said—with that calm composure.

  “Are you sure it’s wise to have the wedding here? We’ve seen how changes to his routine disturb him.”

  “The invitations have already gone out,” she said as if that was the final word. “Did you get yours?”

  “I did.” He cleared his throat and tested the waters. “I might be bringing someone.”

  “Really?” Her voice lifted with speculation. “Anyone I know?”

  His br
ain caught on the question. Did his mother and Samira know one another? He knew they’d met, but somehow he didn’t think that was what his mother meant. “Sort of. But try not to make a big deal of it. It’s very new.”

  “Well.” She smiled, a little smug—as if his love life was her personal success. “Isn’t it fortunate the cottage has extra bedrooms?”

  “The cottage?”

  “Candy and her husband will be flying in. With Scott and Eleanor driving down and your father flying in, we thought it would be nice to have the entire family stay at the estate for the weekend. I thought we’d put you and the girls in the cottage. That way you don’t have to drive back and forth forty minutes every time there’s a gathering for the wedding.”

  It was really only a half hour drive to his townhouse, but he wasn’t going to argue with the wedding mandates. He’d learned long ago to go along with a smile on his face. “Whatever you and Charlotte think is best.”

  His mother chuckled. “So diplomatic. Are you sure you’re a lawyer?”

  Aiden cleared his throat. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about making a change.”

  She looked at him, concern tightening her mouth. “A change?” Regina was, as a rule, not a fan of change.

  “Grandpa said something to me a couple months ago and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. About how I can really make the most impact. I’d been hoping to talk to you about it when things were less hectic with the wedding stuff, since you know this town better than anyone I know. But I’m not sure there will ever be a good time.” He turned to face her fully. “I was wondering where I should start if I was thinking about running for public office.”

  Her face lit up like Christmas morning. “Oh, Aiden! Are you really going to run?”

  “I’m just thinking about it, right now. Trying to figure out what all would be involved—”

  She gripped his arm, squeezing tight. “Congressman Jennings is thinking of retiring next year. He’s sure to endorse you if you put your hat into the ring to replace him. I’ll start putting out feelers to see who would be available to run your campaign and it’s never too early to start raising money—”