by t. h. snyder
Now is the time to make a change.
At least, that’s how I’m feeling right now. Tomorrow may be a different story.
I look up at my dad and smile. “I’ll be good dad, I promise.”
Following my family into the house, I feel a sense of relief. I feel good.
Allie gives us a quick tour of the downstairs and then shows us out to the back patio where her parents are sitting.
This place is crazy cool.
Allie’s dad is an architect and her mom is an interior designer. Their talents show in the design of the house and every accent that furnishes the home.
Walking into the back yard, there’s a huge paver patio that’s outlined with a stone wall, a fire pit off to the left and enough cushioned furniture to seat everyone comfortably.
After being introduced to Allie’s parents, Jim and Marilyn, I move to take a seat between mom and Zoe.
Allie and her parents are the perfect hosts.
Marilyn begins to get us drinks while Jim starts the grill for dinner. The conversation is light and majority of the discussion is wrapped around plans of an engagement party for Allie and Zeke.
I watch as everyone talks about the upcoming festivities and the excitement that will go into planning the wedding. A few times mom and Marilyn bring me and Zoe into the conversation, but for the most part we just listen and talk amongst ourselves.
After a little while, Allie and I make eye contact and, from her expression, I can tell she knows I am bored as hell.
She walks over and takes the seat next to Zoe.
“You two seriously could look a little happier,” Allie says with a laugh.
“Sorry Allie, it’s nothing against you. I love you. It’s just not the most fun topic for a teenager,” Zoe says looking almost embarrassed.
“Zar, you having fun?” Allie asks.
I can’t help it, I let out a smile and both Allie and Zoe start laughing.
“Look girls, I totally know this isn’t the ideal way you’d want to spend your Saturday night, but it does mean a lot to me and Zeke that both our families are here together. Wait a second…”
Allie gets up from her seat and walks over to her dad at the grill. I can hear her asking him where someone is, but I have no clue who she’s talking about. I look at Zoe and she just shrugs her shoulders.
Who could she be looking for?
We’re all here…aren’t we?
She comes walking back over to us with a look of determination on her face.
“Let’s go girls, we’re going to get lazy ass out of his boy cave to come join us. If you two have to be here bored to death then so does he.”
Allie grabs both our hands and starts walking back inside the house. She pulls us through the kitchen, the hallway, into the entrance by the front door and up the stairs. I feel Zoe pull back and stop in her tracks.
“Where are we going, Allie?” She asks.
“We are going to get my brother out of his hiding spot and bring him down here with the rest of us. I can’t believe mom and dad let him stay up here this long. He is such a punk and now we’re going to drag his little ass down to enjoy this evening with our families. Come on, let’s go.”
Again, Zoe and I make eye contact and shrug our shoulders. I had no idea that Allie even had a younger brother. Just goes to show how much I know.
We follow Allie up to the top of the stairs and walk toward the far end of the hallway to the left. She doesn’t even knock the on the door, she just barges right in.
Feeling a bit out of place I keep my distance from the now open bedroom door and Zoe stays close behind. Allie turns once she notices we’ve stopped and pulls us into the bedroom with her. We’re in what appears to be his bedroom, but it’s empty. Where the hell is he? Allie continues to pull us through the room like we’re puppy dogs on a leash. She stops in front of a set of double doors and begins to knock loudly. After a few moments the door swings open and there he stands.
My body freezes as I see him. I’ve done nothing but picture him in my mind…in my dreams for the past few days.
“Loudon, let’s go. Get your ass down stairs and join us for dinner. Zeke’s sisters are here and they’re bored as hell, but at least they’re both down stairs with our families,” she yells at him.
He watches his sister while she goes off on her rant and then looks over to where Zoe and I stand. At first he doesn’t recognize me, but then he does a double take. A smile appears on his face and he takes out his ear buds.
Walking out of the room, he passes both Allie and Zoe coming to stand right in front of me.
“Hey!” He says.
I can’t help but stare up into his eyes. They are a piercing green, like nothing I’ve ever seen.
“Hi!” Is all I can mutter before he takes my hand in his.
“I’m L.C.; I take it you’re Zar?” He asks.
“Umm, yeah. How did you know my name?” I say almost in a whisper.
“Well Allie here talks about you guys all the time to mom and dad, so I figured you were the older of the two,” he looks between both Zoe and I, “no offense,” he says in Zoe’s direction.
She gives him the cutest smile I’ve ever seen from her. Is she flirting? Oh my god, my little sister is flirting with him.
He looks back at me and stares into my eyes. My body is seriously frozen in place and I don’t know if I could move…not even if he screamed FIRE! I feel him squeeze my hand and realize that he’s still holding only my hand, no more, like we are locked together. He has intertwined his fingers with mine and now he’s rubbing my palm with his thumb.
I break from my Loudon trance when Allie starts to clear her throat.
“Ok Mac Daddy, let go of Zar. She’s not one of the girls you hang out with and ditch after a game…she’s off limits. Got it?”
Allie reaches for my arm and rips my hand from his. I look up at him and a huge smile is back on his face.
“Yeah, I got it big sis. She’s off limits,” he says and gives me a wink.
Holy shit, I feel like my legs are about to give out on me.
I’ve never, in my entire life, had a guy look at me the way that Loudon is right now. I feel like a puddle of mush when those eyes pull me in. I’m so out of my element right now, I need to pull myself together. I’m so used to freaking out around people that…wait a minute. Usually I’d freak out by now…I’d panic. But I’m not. This is the second time I’ve been this close to him and I don’t feel any sense of a panic attack come on.
Something about him almost relaxes me. It’s like his eyes have pierced me with something and I have no fear of being near him.
“Hello…Zar? Let’s head back downstairs. Loudon, get your ass down there, too,” Allie says.
I tear myself from my thoughts and follow Allie and Zoe out of Loudon, or L.C.’s, bedroom and back into the hallway. I turn back and see that he’s following close behind. He’s still smiling as he watches me.
I honestly don’t know what to make of all this right now.
I need a moment to compress what just happened.
I need a minute to breath.
By the time we make it downstairs, our parents and Zeke are walking into the kitchen.
“There you guys are; I was beginning to wonder if you got sucked into L.C.’s man cave.” Zeke says coming over and pulling Allie into his arms.
Allie giggles and puts her arms around Zeke’s waist.
“Look who you brought down with you. It’s about time you make an appearance. You didn’t think you’d get out of dinner did you?” Marilyn asks Loudon.
“Actually, I was planning on sneaking out of my bedroom and going to a party,” he says with a laugh.
“Loudon that would be rude, we have guests for dinner,” Jim says
“Your father is right and I’m sure you can keep the girls company while we talk wedding plans,” Marilyn says with a big smile, looking toward Allie and Zeke.
He looks over at me. “You wanna tag along
Zar?”
My legs turn back into wobbly sticks and I grab out to the counter for support. Between his green eyes and that dimple of his that just popped out, it’s getting harder to keep calm when he’s around me.
“Loudon, I already told you; she’s off limits,” Allie says with a scowl on her face.
“Come on Allie, it’s just a party. I’m not marrying the girl.”
I listen to the banter between brother and sister, finally finding my voice. “Umm, hello…girl is standing right here,” I say, throwing my hands in the air.
Loudon and Allie both turn to me with a surprised look on their faces.
“Zar, please tell me you’re not considering going with him,” Allie says with disgust in her voice.
Loudon walks over to me and asks again. “So you wanna hang out with some of us Palmer High kids. I mean if it won’t go against any high school rivalry politics or anything,” he says with that charming smile.
“Loudon, Zar had a pretty long day. I don’t think….”
I cut Allie off right there. “I’ll go. It’ll be fun…right?” I ask looking at Loudon.
Oh shit, what am I getting myself into?
Me, the freak, going to a party. Oh my god, this can’t be good. I can’t do this…can I?
What the hell am I thinking?
But before I can change my mind, Loudon has my hand in his and pulls me away from everyone.
“We’ll be back in a few hours. Don’t worry, she’s safe with me,” he shouts as we make our way out of the kitchen.
I turn to look back at everyone.
Zoe’s mouth is hanging wide open; Zeke is laughing to the point he’s doubled over; Allie has her head in her hands and Jim and Marilyn are reassuring my parents that I’ll be okay.
He pulls me straight through the house and to a closed door. Turning, he releases my hand and puts both of his hands on either side of my face.
The closeness of his body to mine is overwhelming and I can feel my heart begin to race.
This is all too much for me. I’m completely out of my comfort zone here. This guy is way out of my league.
My breath is unsteady and I feel…
Well…wait a minute, I actually feel really good right about now.
This is nothing like the way I feel before an attack.
Instead, I feel happy.
This isn’t something I’m used to and I must say, I’m shocked with the way I’ve handled myself around him.
“You ready to go have some fun?” He asks.
He’s so close to me that I can smell his cologne mixed with his juicy fruit bubble gum.
“Yeah, well, no. I’m not really the party type,” I reply.
He takes his hands from my face and grabs for my hand.
“Don’t worry, Zar, I’ll make sure you have a good time,” he says while opening the door and leading me into the garage.
I’m still in shock with the fact that I’m about to go to a party and with a guy no less. I don’t know how this is going to work. I can only hope that the way he makes me feel right now helps me stay calm in front of him and his friends.
Loudon walks us through the garage and over to a black car. By the looks of it, this is no ordinary car either. In fact it looks to me like an older restored Mustang.
He looks over in my direction and watches as I take in every detail of the shiny black car.
“This is my baby and let me just say that not many girls get the luxury of sitting in this front seat.”
I look at him and my mouth falls wide open. He starts to laugh and I can’t help but frown from the confusion that is settling in my mind.
“Your face was priceless Zar; I was just kidding. Well, not really. This is my baby and my pride and joy when I’m not on the court,” he says with a smile.
Opening the car door for me, he gestures for me to get in. I slide onto the leather seat and reach for the door handle.
“No, no, I got it. Buckle up, baby,” he says, with a laugh and closes the door for me.
I grab for the seat belt and do just as he says; I buckle up.
He crosses in front of the car and I can see that he’s watching me the entire time. I don’t get it. Guys never talk to me, let alone insist that I go with them to a party.
Loudon opens up his door and slides in next to me. With him sitting next to me in the driver’s seat, we’re only mere inches from one another and with a slight shift in movement our arms could be touching.
I really don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into here or what the hell possessed me to agree to this….this date? Is this a date?
Oh god, I’m such a moron. I’m an eighteen year old senior about to embark onto college next year and I’ve never been on a date. Hell, I don’t even know if that’s what one would consider what I’m even doing right now.
“So Zar, tell me a little about yourself. It’s not every day I pick up a random girl I met at a pizzeria and take her with me to a party. I think it’s only fitting that I know a bit more about you,” he says as he starts up the car and the engine roars to life.
I jump from the loud sound and the vibrations running under my seat. Loudon puts his hand on my leg, “relax, I won’t hurt you. I’d never hurt you.”
His words sound sincere, but I still don’t know why this guy is so persistent.
I look over at him as he pulls the car out of the garage.
“There’s not much to tell. What do you want to know?” I ask, knowing very well I won’t tell him anything too personal.
“I want to know why you were all the way up here the other day when I know you don’t live in Ames.”
Hmm, he does have a good point. What’s he trying to get at?
“Well, I like it here and felt like going for a drive,” I tell him.
“I don’t buy that for a second. A girl doesn’t just get in her car and drive here,” he says shifting gears and pulling out of the driveway.
“See, that’s one thing you don’t know about me Loudon Clarke, I’m not just any girl,” I reply and turn to stare out my window.
“That’s why I like you Zar. You’re a mystery to me that I feel the need to solve. Have you ever met someone that just stays with you, even if you’ve never met them before?”
“No!” I snap.
Even though I know exactly what he’s referring to, there’s no way I can let him know that I’ve been thinking about him since the other day. Wait…has he been thinking about me. too?
The next few minutes are spent in complete silence. The only noise that can be heard is the clicking of gears and purr of the car’s engine.
I’m not so sure this was the best idea for me to go with him to the party. We’re already off to an awkward start and I don’t even want to think about what lies ahead for me once we get to our destination.
“Loudon, I don’t think this is such a good idea.”
“Why?” He asks, before I can finish my thought.
“Umm…we don’t seem to be getting along that well and I don’t think going to this party with you is such a good idea.”
“Why?” He asks again.
“Well, for one it was stupid of me to even say yes in the first place. I’m not the typical girl you are used to Loudon. You don’t even know me.”
“I don’t care if I don’t know you Zar. The only way I’ll get to know you is by spending time with you. And that is exactly what we are going to do tonight.”
“But….”
“No buts Zar, it’s gonna happen, whether you like it or not. I won’t take no for an answer and I don’t do anything by the book. We are going to this party together and we will be getting to know each other. So sit back, enjoy the ride and get ready to have some fun.”
I’m taken aback by his take charge personality. It’s definitely not something I’m used to from a guy….hell, from anyone. This night will be interesting to say the least, I don’t know what he has in store for me…for us, but having fun is not something I’m used to do
ing with other people. Over the past few years, my idea of a good time was sitting alone in my room watching a movie. I know its lame, but it’s all I really have to look forward to anymore.
“Ugh! Has anyone ever told you that you’re pushy and bossy?”
“Nope, not that I can recall. But I will say it’s how I always get my way…and Zar, whether you like it or not, I’ll always get my way. Get used to it now, doll; you’re stuck with me.”
His words are so smooth and make me feel weak in the knees.
I have no idea what Loudon is up to or what he’s got planned for us tonight. All I really know is that I’m riding in this car with this guy on the way to a party. The old Zar, that was once full of life, would love this attention, but for me…now, I’m scared as hell.
There are so many fears coursing through my veins right now that I’m not sure if I can handle these emotions.
What if something goes wrong?
What if someone calls me out on my outfit or worse, calls me a freak.
I don’t know what I’d do if I was treated that way in front of Loudon.
“Hey Zar, if you don’t stop squeezing your hands like that your fingers are gonna fall off. What’s got you so wound up? Don’t tell me you’re nervous about going to the party cause it’s not like that.”
I hear the words coming out of his mouth, but I’m still coming down from my near moment of panic.
We’re stopped at a red light. He reaches over for my hand and intertwines our fingers. I can feel that he’s watching me. I look over at him and see a smile start to spread across his face. That crazy dimple pops out and my eyes go from his smile, to his dimple, to his eyes.
“You good, Zar?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Promise?”
I look down at our hands still entwined together. I give his a squeeze and look back up into his eyes.
“Right now, Loudon, I promise you I’m good. Actually, I’m better than good. Thank you for doing this with me tonight.”
He looks at me with a puzzled look. I see that he’s starting to say something and I stop him.
“Please, don’t ask…just let it be.”
I want to have fun tonight.