by Holly Bush
One of the stablemen saddled York for him and he rode out, headed toward the town of Winchester. He hadn’t been completely sure that what he was doing was the right thing, but the more he thought about it, the more he was certain he was making the right decision. He wasn’t a Gentry for nothing, after all. He didn’t see his mother standing in the window of the main room of the house, watching him ride away in his Sunday clothes.
“EMMALINE? MAY I COME IN?”
“Yes, Mother,” she said and stood from the rocking chair by the window of her bedroom. Betsy had moved in with Jane and now Emmaline had this room all to herself, as she’d always craved even though she and Betsy were close. She wondered if her mother was concerned she’d taint Betsy before she could get her younger sister to the altar and married. But Emmaline had been sewing, of all things, and would have preferred to parade through town with every eye on her rather than stitch the ridiculous blankets that her mother had forced her to begin. She’d talk to anyone, even her youngest brother, Phillip, if it meant she didn’t have to ply this needle one moment longer.
“Emmaline, dear, you have a visitor,” her mother said while wringing her hands and not quite meeting her daughter’s eyes.
“A visitor? Tell them to go away. I’m not a circus animal.”
“It’s Adam Gentry, dear. Jim’s brother-in-law. Olivia’s brother,” she said with a weak smile.
“I understand how family relationships work, Mother. Tell him I am ill. Tell him whatever you want to tell him. I am not coming downstairs.”
“I’ve already told him you’re under the weather. He asked me to please beg you for a moment of your time. I think he knows, Emmaline.”
“Of course, he knows. Jim and Olivia wouldn’t wait and let Mrs. Gentry and Adam find out at the mercantile. Of course, he knows. I have nothing to say to him and I have to get back to my sewing.”
Emmaline plopped down in the rocker and watched as her door closed slowly. She was putting her mother in an awkward position, she knew, but she really didn’t want to talk to anyone outside of her small family sphere. Even then she’d rather talk to Betsy than any of them. She knew eventually she was going to have to leave her room, join life again, but she didn’t have to do it quite yet and it would be much easier to do when she moved to Aunt Madge’s. There she could be Emmaline Smith, widow. She was seriously considering Jim and Olivia’s offer to add on an addition to their house for her, though. She adored Jim and had always liked Olivia well enough and knew that Olivia made her brother very, very happy. It would be hard to take the stares if she remained in town, but it wouldn’t be—
Her bedroom door opened, and her mother poked her head inside.
“Mother, please,” she began but stopped speaking as the door opened wide and Adam Gentry walked into her room.
“I know this is unusual, Mrs. Somerset, but certainly you’ve known me and my family long enough to know that I intend nothing untoward. But I would like to speak to your daughter alone.”
Adam stared at her as he spoke to her mother and she could see Jane and Betsy behind him, eyes wide and their hands over their mouths.
“It’s not p-proper, Adam,” her mother stuttered.
“I’m fine, Mother. Stand outside my door if you wish.”
Emmaline looked at him and noticed that he was thinner than the last time she saw him. He was still very handsome and even intimidating, filling the room with his presence. He was the oldest among her generation of Gentrys and Somersets but had been removed a bit from the rest of them as they grew up together. A bit apart from John and Matthew and Jim, who’d been fast friends growing up, and from Olivia and Nettie and Marabelle Winston, whose family owned the mercantile, and her. He hadn’t been aloof, but he hadn’t gotten into the same type of trouble that John and Matthew had. Women swooned over him, and he smiled back and tipped his hat in such a way that made a female feel as if she was the only person of her sex in the world. Except right now he wasn’t looking so sure of himself and not particularly happy, either.
She’d always liked him up until a minute ago when he walked into her bedroom. She didn’t even try and hide the bulge in her skirts.
She waited until the door clicked shut. “Can I help you with something, Adam?”
He nodded and put his hat on her dresser. He picked up a ladder-back chair from the corner and looked at her. “May I?”
She shrugged and watched him put the chair down not three feet away from her chair. He sat down and looked up at her.
“I understand that you are in a family way.”
She didn’t say a word, just lifted her eyebrows.
“What are your plans?”
“I’m not sure I want to talk to you about my plans. They are private.”
“I can understand that.” He nodded then looked down at his hands and back up to her face. “Let me ask you this then. Are your plans, whatever they are, fixed, with no possibility of changing your mind?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m just trying to get through each day. When I must decide for certain, I will do so. Why do you ask?”
“I believe I have a solution for you, if you are amenable.”
She laughed bitterly. “A solution? I doubt that sincerely, although I thank you for considering my happiness. I am in the situation I am. There is no changing it.” She could feel hot tears welling in her eyes. Damnation! She would not embarrass herself with tears and swiped her face with her hands.
He was silent for what seemed like several minutes but must have been much less than that. He was staring at her and smiled, a sad, faraway one although it showed hints of the Adam she knew before.
“I was in love,” he said and cleared his throat. “I don’t know if Olivia ever said anything about it.”
“She did. You have my sincerest sympathies. Olivia said you were devastated. What was her name?”
“Josephine. Her name was Josephine Wright. She was sister to my closest friend when I attended Franklin College before the war.”
“Ah, yes. Olivia did tell us that much. When did she pass away?”
“This past November first. Her appendix burst, and she was overcome with infection. Her brother and I were with her the entire time.”
“I’m terribly sorry, Adam. It wasn’t public knowledge and we didn’t quite know how to give you our sympathies. My family, I mean. But you have them. My sincerest sympathies.”
“Thank you. We would have married by now if she had lived, I’m certain of it.”
Emmaline leaned forward and touched his hand where it rested on his knee. “I’m sure you would have. You’ve been widowed without the benefit of marriage.”
Adam brought his head up abruptly and nodded. “Yes. That is quite true. I’ve never thought of it that way, but it is true.”
The door to her room opened. “Emmaline, dear. Is everything all right?”
She shook her head. “Adam tried to ravish me, but I pushed him out my window. Yes, Mother. We’re fine. We’re just talking. This is Olivia’s older brother!”
The door closed, and she could hear Jane asking what ravish meant. Adam’s shoulders shook, and he looked up at her ruefully. “I would never allow myself to be pushed out the window.”
She laughed as if she had not a care in the world and so did he. She looked at him closely. “Why have you come, Adam?”
He stood abruptly, right in front of her and she went to stand, too, but he knelt down on one knee before she could move. She shook her head and backed up in her chair.
“What are doing, Adam? Sit down, please.”
His face was close to hers and she could see the gold flecks in his green eyes. She smelled mint, maybe a cologne or his tooth powder. He was wearing a black suit of fine fabric, a starched white shirt, a red silk tie, and a red and grey plaid vest. He looked like a picture out of a book. Romantic and full of love.
He picked up her hand from where it lay on her lap and looked into her eyes. “Emmaline Somerset. Will you mar
ry me?”
The air left the room. She couldn’t breathe. Had he said what she thought he’d said?
“Pardon. I thought you asked me . . .”
“I did, Emmaline. Will you be my wife?”
“Adam. I am expecting a child. You are older than me. We hardly know each other.” Everything going through her mind was coming out of her mouth it seemed.
“I know you’re expecting a child. I will be that child’s father, unless of course, you intend to have a relationship with the father.”
She shook her head, feeling dizzy. “No. Never. I’ll never.”
“Then I will be the father from the day of our marriage on. That child will be my child.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks. He was sincere, she was certain of it, and anyway, this was Adam Gentry, a trustworthy man if there ever was one.
“I am ten years older than you if my math is correct. But still not that old,” he said and smiled. “Not an old man quite yet.”
Something tugged at her heart. He wasn’t certain of himself. Adam Gentry wasn’t completely sure how this would end, and he must have known it could be embarrassing, mortifying really, if it were to get out that an expectant twenty-two-year-old with no prospects for marriage had turned him down. It was most endearing. But there were other reasons.
“We don’t know each other very well, but successful marriages have begun on less. I believe we respect each other and each other’s families. My parents married after only knowing each other for a few days. You know the story. She was the love of his life and he hers,” he said.
“How,” she whispered and stopped to gather her senses and wipe her face, “how can you respect me? I had relations with a man I’m not married to. How can you enter a marriage if you don’t at least respect your wife?” She could not look him in the eye.
He turned her face to him with one finger under her chin. “Emmaline”—he shook his head—“whatever the reasoning or circumstances that led to your state, it was a small piece, just a sliver of your life, that I know you have always lived well. You have always loved your family and served them. Why ever would I judge a lifetime on one instance, on one episode?”
His words choked her and made her eyes fill again with tears. Made her believe that there were sensible persons still to be found. She couldn’t trust her voice for a full minute. “You do not love me. You would be rescuing me but what is in it for you?”
He stood and sat back on his chair. “We will suit each other, I think. I wish to have children and to do so I must marry. We will be kind to each other. I’ll not lie to you, though. I don’t believe I’ll ever love anyone in that way again. I don’t have it to give you or anyone else. But you will have my name, my protection, and you will have my honor, which is all I have left to give.”
Emmaline sat back on her chair and stared at him. Was it possible that he was going to save her from what would be an uncomfortable and no doubt lonely life? Was it possible she was considering this wild idea? Of course, she was. She’d known him all of her life. This was Adam Gentry. Handsome, wealthy, maybe broken, but so was she in some ways. Would it be enough for a lifetime? Would she give up all the other possibilities for her life that she’d lain in bed at night and dreamed of? But hadn’t she already given them up that night in Brunsville?
She looked up at him suddenly and found him staring at her. He wanted children and would expect her to lie with him. She was strangely interested. What would it be like to have sexual relations with him? She’d never in her life thought of him in that way. He was Olivia’s oldest brother. She’d looked at his brother, Matthew, and some other men in town and thought about what it would be like to kiss them but never, ever thought that of Adam. But really, what could she possibly be thinking to consider turning him down? She would have security, a father for this child, she would have resources, and she would not be dependent and obligated to those that fed and clothed her. Surely, a role of the husband and wife was to provide for each other. She would have her dignity. She wouldn’t be solely an obligation, would she?
She licked her lips and looked at him squarely. “Yes. I will marry you.”
He sat back in his chair and smiled a lopsided grin. “Thank you, Emmaline. We will do well together and raise this child and others as a family.”
The door opened. “Emmaline. You must tell me what this is about, dear,” her mother said.
Emmaline stood. “Adam has proposed marriage to me and I have accepted him.”
Betsy and Jane caught their mother as she slumped and just before her head hit the bedroom floor.
“This is rather an inauspicious start. Your mother has fainted,” Adam said quietly from behind her.
Emmaline and Jane fanned their mother’s face while Betsy ran a cool rag over her wrists. Phillip came into the room and asked quite calmly if she had died. Emmaline looked up at Adam and as serious a face as he was wearing she couldn’t help herself but to bark out a laugh. He looked at her and the corner of his mouth hitched.
Louise Somerset woke with a start. “Emmaline. What did you say?”
Adam reached down and helped her up. “I have asked your daughter to marry me and she has consented.”
Louise held a hand to her head. “Can we please go downstairs into the parlor? We cannot speak of this in one of the sleeping rooms! Phillip ask Helen to bring coffee and tea in and some of the lemon sponge cakes she made this morning. Oh, dear! Hurry girls,” she said as she shooed Jane and Betsy ahead of her.
Emmaline turned to Adam after everyone had left the room. “Are you quite sure? We could end this right now if you’re having any misgivings.”
STRANGELY, Adam had no second thoughts. He felt almost lighthearted, although he had no illusions that they wouldn’t face obstacles. He was doing the right thing. Emmaline was the sister of Jim, whom he’d always respected but had begun to view lately as more of a brother and less of an in-law. Jim and Olivia were both fond of Emmaline and had both suffered with the news of her pregnancy. He could provide peace to both families at little cost to himself.
“I’m not having any misgivings,” he said. “I’m going to go home now and leave the details to you and your sisters and mother. I will be back at four, if that is convenient, to take you to Paradise so that you can dine with us.”
“There is no need for you to return,” she said. “I can walk that short distance.”
Adam shook his head. “We are engaged to be married and you are expecting our child. I’ll bring the gig and escort you.”
“Oh,” she said. “Very well. I’ll be ready.”
Adam had anticipated feeling that while this marriage was not the end of his life, it would be the acceptance that he would not soar in any conceivable way, that a quiet middle ground would be found with some contentment and caring on both of their sides. But that was not how he was feeling. He was feeling rather excited to tell his family, but with that thought came a vision of Josephine. Guilt followed, heavy on his shoulders and in his heart. But she would not want him to live a life alone and bereft of all the comforts of family. She had loved him, and he her.
He would not allow his grief and, with an impending marriage to a woman other than Josephine, guilt, to keep him from some happiness, though. He mustn’t, or he may as well find that pistol and end it all. His life would change very little after he married but he would have a companion. She would do whatever his mother did, and he would continue to manage the stables and the growing number of investments he’d made on behalf of the family. She would raise their children and they would console each other in their old age. He would be as happy as he could be and intended to start at that moment looking forward to this union. He kicked York to a run and handed him off to a stable hand after riding up the Paradise drive.
He went in the house immediately and saw their housekeeper. “Jenny, do you know where mother is?”
“Yes, Mr. Adam. She’s in her rooms with Miss Olivia choosing paint colors for your sister’s ne
w house.”
“Would you ask them to join me in the main room in a few minutes? Is my
brother-in-law here?” He turned. “What is Mabel preparing for dinner? I’ve asked Matt and Annie to join us and I’ll have a guest, too. Can you see if we have any champagne?”
Jenny smiled. “I’ll get your sister and your mother in just a moment and check with Mabel about tonight’s menu.”
“Don’t forget the champagne.”
“I won’t,” she said and turned to the door. “And here is Mr. Somerset.”
“Is there something wrong?” Jim asked as he pulled off his jacket and looked at Adam.
“Not at all. I have some news I’d like to share with you. Will you come into the main room?”
It occurred to Adam on the ride that he needed to speak to Jim first as the head of the Somerset family. Emmaline had said yes but there were courtesies to observe, and this was Jim. Olivia’s husband. The man who’d been hauling his drunken ass to bed for several months. Jim sat down and looked up. Adam sat down across from him. He smiled.
“I’ve asked Emmaline to marry me and she’s said yes. I suppose I should have spoken to you first, but I didn’t want Emmaline to feel any undue expectations or obligations, as you are my brother-in-law. We’ll be married soon, I think. She’s coming here for dinner tonight.”
“Did you say you’ve asked Emmaline to marry you?”
Adam nodded. “I have, and she has honored me with her hand.”
Jim stood and wandered to the windows overlooking the stables. There were several long minutes of silence that had Adam in sympathy with his sister about her husband’s quiet nature. But he turned then.
“You mean to marry her so that she will not have this child alone. So that she and my mother will not be embarrassed. It’s a fine sacrifice to make and one that ensures her future.” Jim studied him. “The drive to be virtuous, to be heroic, can be a powerful thing and you’re not feeling whole yet. Will this sacrifice bring you misery, and with it, unhappiness for Emmaline?”