The Legacy

by ADAMS, J.

  This is amazing! He wishes he could share this view with his family, especially Cisely. How he misses the special times they shared! Closing his eyes, he lets his thoughts drift back to last year when he and Cisely took a week long trip to Rome and Tuscany. Sam and his wife took care of Ingo and Phillip at their own home, so it was just the two of them. They spent their days sightseeing and shopping. They had picnics out in the countryside and took walks along the shore. They dined at elegant restaurants, saw plays and went for romantic moonlit walks through the city. Even though he’d been to the two cities before, exploring them with Cisely was like seeing them for the first time. From the coliseum to the museums, everything excited her and it was like he was seeing it all anew through her eyes.

  Blinking rising tears away, he remembers how they stayed up all night their last night in Rome, making love and talking endlessly. There was nothing and no one for them to think about except each other, and they treasured each and every second. He marveled at how good their marriage was. It can be that way again, of this he is certain.

  He stands for a few minutes longer, lost in the memories. At the moment they are all he has.

  Getting back into the car, he drives off with a prayer in his heart that they will find Phillip so their family will be whole again.

  I cling to the bear Ingo has given me as tears fall down my face. I love my little boy so much and feel awful for not being there for him more through this whole ordeal, but I don’t know how to rid my heart of these terrible feelings. Fear and despair consume my entire being to the point that I can’t think of anything other than my own grief. And every time I think about what I'm putting Adagio through, my heart aches even more. He is my husband and needs me. Why can’t I give him the comfort he needs? Why can’t I let him comfort me? I desperately want to, and I crave the closeness we've always shared.

  I can’t even remember the last time I showed him affection. He told me he needs me, but I've only felt my own pain. My oldest son needs his mother. I manage to see to his physical needs, yet I remain emotionally detached. Ingo's brother is missing and he needs my comfort. He needs my assurance that everything will be okay. Why can’t I give it to him? Over and over I've reminded myself it's not the trial that is important but what I do with it. And what have I done? I let it completely consume me.

  Weeping, my soul cries out, desperately yearning to be freed from the cage around it and my heart. Trembling, I fall to my knees by the side of the bed. Never have I felt so lost. I close my eyes and slowly pray. I am so sorry for the way I've been and for not being there for my family. I plead for the strength to endure this trial. I plead for comfort.

  Over and over I plead, determined to stay on my knees for as long as it takes. I need to feel whole again, not only for myself, but for my family as well. And they need me to be whole. Especially Adagio.

  “Your husband needs you, Cisely. He loves you more than you know.”

  I gasp. The voice comes from nowhere. It is faint but familiar as my own. I haven't heard it in years, but I could never forget the sound of it.

  It is Ingo's voice. With this discovery, my tears are renewed tenfold, because I know that not only is God listening, but the love Adagio and I share truly is the forever kind.

  Sixty-two

  Pressing her forehead against the cool windowpane, Jessica closes her eyes as her thoughts linger on Cisely.

  She loves Cisely so much and hates to see her hurting this way. But she can only imagine what she is going through. Jessica has never had children of her own, and she loves Ingo and Phillip as only a grandmother can. It hurts to think of Phillip being out in the world somewhere, kept from his family and suffering who knows what. But her feelings are those of a grandmother. Cisely had given birth to him and is connected to him in a way no one else could ever be.

  Jessica smiles as memories of Cisely and Adagio’s two month long visit to Utah two years ago comes to mind. At the time, Phillip and Ingo were three and four. She remembers how amazed she was at how well Cisely and Adagio were able to keep up with the rambunctious little boys. She was exhausted just watching them as they played together. Jessica thinks of the happiness that radiated from Cisely every time she gazed at Adagio and their children. She was living the life she was born to live.

  Jessica went out to the back yard that evening after clearing away the last of the picnic dinner they all shared and found Adagio and Cisely dancing barefoot in the grass to a soft ballad playing on the portable stereo. As she quietly watched the two gazing into each other’s eyes, she concluded there was enough love between them to cover the globe and light up the world.

  A few weeks later on Halloween, Adagio crept up behind Cisely dressed in a Gorilla suit. Cisely jumped across the room and screamed so loud, Jessica thought she would have a heart attack. The boys laughed as their father chased their mother around the kitchen. Cisely giggled when he finally cornered her and began tickling her. Then when he pulled the mask off and pick her up and kissed her, the children clapped. Cisely whispered something in his ear and he grinned widely before kissing her again and putting her down. He flashed Jessica a wicked grin before putting the mask back on and she immediately took off running with Ingo and Phillip right behind her. She could hear Adagio growling as he chased her through the house.

  Jessica wipes her eyes, smiling at the memory. What a marvelous time we had!

  She turns from the living room window as Cisely emerges from the hallway. Though her eyes are red and swollen, Jessica immediately notices the peace shining through them. Cisely smiles and Jessica gives her a teary smile in return. She holds her hands out and Cisely takes them.

  “You’re okay, aren’t you?” Jessica asks me.

  “I am.” I squeeze her hands. “And I know now that everything will be all right.” She releases a soft sob as she embraces me and tells me she's grateful to have me back. “I’m so glad you’re all right.”

  Drawing back, I look into her loving face. “Thank you, Jessica, for all you have done for me. Thank you for being here, for loving me so much, and for again being my mother when I've needed one, even though I couldn’t see that.”

  “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, my dear.” She presses a gentle hand to my cheek. “You and your family mean more to me than you could ever know.”

  I hug her again and draw back, concern creasing my brow. “Did Adagio say where he was going or when he would be back?”

  “He didn’t say either. I’m sorry, dear.” She pauses a moment. “But he did say to tell you he loves you more than anything.”

  I smile sadly as a tangible ache fills me. “Oh, Jessica, I have been so awful to him and he has been trying so hard. He’s been hurting just as much as I have, probably more because of me, but I couldn’t see past my own grief.” My voice breaks along with my heart. “He has needed me and I haven’t been there for him. For the first time in our marriage, I haven’t been there for him.” Hanging my head, I let the tears fall. “I feel so ashamed. How could I do that to him?”

  Jessica wipes my tears. “He loves you more than life, Cisely, and he knows how hard this has been for you. He also knows you love him.”

  Walking over to the window, I look down the tree-clad street as my insides churn with regret. “I have to make it up to him,” I say, turning to Jessica. “I need to set things right between us.”

  She smiles. “You two need an evening alone to reconnect and I’ve got just the solution.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Velma and Ted offered to take Ingo for the night and give you and Adagio a little break. They invited me to come along. I was going to mention it to you earlier, but I didn’t know how you would feel.”

  “I think that would be perfect!”

  “Good. I’ll call Velma and let her know. She and Ted were pretty excited about the idea. I think they are looking forward to having children of their own. They certainly do enjoy spoiling your son.”

  “They will make great parents.”r />
  “I think they will too.” Jessica looks at her watch. “Well, I’ll go and call them now.” She smiles, squeezing my hand. “I’m so happy you are all right.”

  “So am I, Jessica. So am I.”

  Sixty-three

  Dublin, Georgia Gladys sits in an over-sized leather chair smoking a cigarette, her free hand holding a tall can of beer. Closing her glazed eyes, she smiles contentedly, thinking about Cisely and what she must be feeling now. Gladys imagines the grief she's probably experiencing and relishes the thought. Picturing her niece crying and falling apart makes her smile take on an even more demented appearance. Gladys wants her niece to experience pain, and she is sure Cisely is doing just that. She intends to make her suffer for as long as possible.

  She releases a low, throaty chuckle, completely pleased with herself. Turning her beer up and downing the last swallow, she sneers, realizing the can is now empty. If there is one thing Gladys can’t stand, it is an empty beer can or liquor bottle.

  “Sadie,” she calls to the kitchen. “Will you bring me another beer?”

  A minute later, a young brown-skinned woman of nineteen enters the front room, which is only lit by the television, and hands her another can. Gladys looks up at the thin woman and takes the beer, not offering a thank you. “Has the boy eaten anything?”

  “Not today. I’m taking something to him now. He’s stubborn sometimes and refuses to eat, but by night time, he’s usually so hungry he gives in.”

  “Well, it don’t matter none to me. It saves me money.”

  You mean it saves me money, Sadie voices silently. You’ve never paid a dime for anything. She looks at Gladys, her disgust for the woman evident, though Gladys doesn’t seem to notice. She wouldn’t have cared anyway. The only person Gladys is ever interested in pleasing or even cares about, is Gladys.

  Heading to the kitchen to dish up a plate of spaghetti for the boy, Sadie silently wonders how she ever let herself get into this situation.

  Sadie is the product of infidelity on her father’s part, who happens to be Gladys’ now deceased husband. For months he cheated on Gladys with Sadie’s mother, never bothering to tell her he was married. Then he was killed while robbing a liquor store a little over eight years ago. Sadie and her mother attended his funeral and Gladys discovered the truth. Sadie wondered if Gladys ever told anyone. Probably not. She figured Gladys was most likely saving the information to use at another time. And she was right.

  Sadie’s mother died of cancer a year ago, and the insurance money that was left after paying for the funeral was enough to pay off the house and other bills. She works four days a week at the local grocery store as a checker and has been able to take care of herself pretty well. She is wise with her money and has never needed to depend on anyone. Her mother taught her to manage her finances well. Sadie doesn’t go out much, which means she doesn’t have much of a social life. There is no one special in her personal life, and truthfully, she doesn’t know if there will ever be. She is basically alone in the world and has resigned herself to the fact that she may always be.

  When Gladys landed on her door step a month ago with the little boy in tow, she thought it was only going to be temporary. Gladys told Sadie the boy’s name was Michael and he was her daughter’s child by one of her ex-boyfriends. She said her daughter didn’t want to be a mother, especially to a half-white child, and she ran off leaving Gladys to care for him. Gladys also told Sadie she came to her because she had lost everything and had nowhere to go.

  Now, as Sadie slowly learns how little she seems to care for the child, she isn’t so sure Gladys is being truthful. There is resentment in the woman’s face every time his name is spoken. Sadie has tried talking to the boy several times when Gladys was passed out, but he wouldn’t speak. In all the time he’s been there, he has never uttered a word, but she can see the fear and sadness in his beautiful green eyes and it touches her heart. Gladys told her he is mentally slow and the only time he talks is when he is pretending to be someone else, but some part of Sadie doesn’t believe it. There has to be more to it.

  Sadie puts the food on a tray and takes it in to the little boy. He is lying on the bed curled up in a ball as usual, but he sits up when she enters. She sets the tray on a small table, and once again he ravenously eats. She smiles sadly as she watches him. Sitting in the chair next to him, she softly caresses his dark hair, all the while wishing she could somehow get him to talk to her. There just has to be more to his life than this.

  Sixty-four

  Lighting the last of the candles placed around our bedroom, I survey the small table set for two and decide everything is perfect. I want the evening to be as wonderful as I can make it for Adagio. I hate the way things are between us, and sadly, I know it is my fault. I never meant to hurt him and my heart is full of regret. I wish so much that I could take back all the pain I've caused him. I have a lot to make up for and I hope he can forgive me for not being there for him and Ingo when they really needed me. But all of that will change. I will never neglect them again.

  I walk over to the mirror once more and check my reflection. Smoothing my hands down the silky, ivory chemise, I try to calm the butterflies in my stomach. Not since the day I realized I was in love Adagio have I felt so nervous. Or so afraid.

  Adagio is surprised to walk into the house and find no one home. The last thing he needs right now is to be alone, though in a sense, he has been for a while now. He feels terrible about leaving Cisely the way he did earlier. Never in all the years of their marriage has he ever left without saying goodbye or telling her where he was going. And because of this, he had been anxious to get back home to her, if only to be in the same room with her. He knows she is still in pain, but he needs to be near her. He wants her to know he will always be there, and he hopes she will soon open her heart to him again. The distance between them is painful, but he will wait. He will wait forever.

  He is about to call Cisely’s cell phone when his ears tune in to soft music coming from their bedroom. This is something he hasn’t heard in a long time. Walking down the hall, Adagio stops at their door, hesitating for a moment, not knowing what to expect. Then his heart begins to race in a way it hasn’t been allowed to in a long while. Slowly, he opens the door. The dim room is lit by several candles. His gaze is immediately drawn to Cisely’s silhouette standing in front of the window and his heart threatens to leap from his chest. She is also wearing a gown he hasn’t seen in a while.

  Oh, angel! he breathes silently. As he slowly approaches, he notices her forehead is pressed against the window, her eyes closed. She looks so beautiful standing there. He loves her so much, and watching her, his longing increases with intensity. Moving close behind her, he presses his face into her hair, wrapping his arms around her waist.

  As Adagio's arms close around me, heat rushes through my entire body. Releasing a breathy sigh, I lean back against him as a long-suppressed longing fills my entire being.

  “Cisely,” he whispers against my ear. His voice is raspy, emotion-filled and painfully seductive. “Baby, I love you.”

  I close my eyes as the warmth of his breath and the softness of his lips against my cheek intoxicate my senses. Turning in his arms, the longing in his gaze makes me want to weep. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I gently pull his head down, brushing my lips softly against his. Tears roll down my face as he kisses me. The sensation is like a heavy rain after a long drought. I bury my fingers in his hair, relishing the burning desire I've denied myself for so long.

  As his mouth sears a path from my ear to my neck, every part of me is on fire. Being in his arms is so perfect, I don't know how I could have been without their warmth for as long as I had.

  I undress him as our urgency increases. Pressing me tightly against him, his mouth continues to devour mine and an uncontrollable frenzy of emotion overtakes us both. The tears that spill onto my cheeks mingle with his as passion consumes us. In his arms, I am finally home.

  Adagio lay wrap
ped in Cisely’s arms, his head against her shoulder, and quietly contemplates the long absent contentment, relishing the closeness they now share. Their union has completely rejuvenated him, and though he knows the trials are far from over, he can make it through them now, as long as they face them together. With each gentle caress of her hand against his face, Adagio marvels anew at the oneness that is again present.

  “Ti amo, Adagio,” Cisely says.

  He smiles. “And I love you.” He stares into her eyes, watching them quickly tear up. “What is it?” he asks, raising up a little.

  “I’m so sorry for not being there for you and Ingo. I’m sorry about everything.”

  He presses his hand against her cheek. “It is all right, baby. I understand.”

  “I wish I did,” she says with a sigh. “No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from shutting everything down inside.”

  Adagio nods, understanding how she felt. Though he's tried to keep positive thoughts in his mind, it is still very hard. “I am sure self-preservation of the heart is still deeply ingrained in you. And it will probably always be because of all you have been through in your life. I really do understand.” He smiles. “But you are okay now.”

  “Yes,” she says, smiling serenely. “Now I am.” She pauses. “I need to tell you something, my love.”

  “All right.” They both sit up and lean back against the pillows. Taking her hand between his, he looks into her eyes, grateful for the peace he sees there.

  “Each day that passed with no word or leads about Phillip pushed me further into despair. The pain became so bad, the only way I could handle it was to completely shut down.” She squeezes his hand. “I needed you so much, but I didn’t know how to tear down the walls. I wanted you near, but I couldn’t let you close. This morning after you left, I spent a long time on my knees, begging God to help me.”