by James Mace
He then walked Diana through the rudimentary basics of fighting with the gladius. He had her keep her left hand up by her head, her elbow in. She learned how to effectively punch with her left hand, and to follow it up with a rapid stab with her weapon. Artorius was very much impressed. Years of horseback riding had given Diana superior leg strength and balance. She proved agile and quick in her strikes. Like he did with his recruits, he made her stand and strike her target again and again, testing her conditioning. He was surprised at how long she managed to last initially. Granted she did not have the strength or stamina of a fully trained legionary, however she did last longer than many recruits; more than enough to impress him.
By the time he told her to rest, her arms were shaking, her legs wobbly. Her hair was unkempt and sweat ran down her forehead. Indeed her entire body was drenched in sweat. She placed her hands on her knees, and found she was gasping for air. Artorius was partially aroused by the sight. He noticed that her left hand was red and battered, though Diana did not complain.
Finally, a woman with some stamina and fortitude, he thought to himself.
“That’s enough for today,” he said aloud.
The next days were more of the same. Diana’s body felt like it was about to collapse from exhaustion by the end of it, yet still she refused to quit. Artorius demanded more from her physically than she had ever been asked to give in her entire life. She had only been training for a week, and already was becoming quicker with the gladius, with her conditioning improving as well. She had only been training for a week, and already was becoming quicker with the gladius, with her conditioning improving as well.
At the end of an afternoon session Diana elected to take a walk through the grove to try and cool her body down. Soon she felt dizzy again, and she found herself leaning against a tree, vomiting uncontrollably. Artorius had just started to walk back towards the main house, when he heard Diana’s physical distress. He smiled to himself and shook his head. Using his crutch, he walked over to where he could see her leaning against a tree, her body shaking.
“Are you alright?” he asked, walking up to her. Diana raised her hand for him to stop, and then began gagging once again.
“I’ll be fine,” she finally replied, taking deep breaths. Artorius walked up and ran his hand up and down her back.
“There is no shame,” he told her. “Believe me; I’ve thrown up many a time from having overexerted myself. You have come quite a ways in such a short period of time.”
“Not good enough to fight against any of you though,” she replied as she leaned her head against the tree.
“Well no,” he remarked as he continued to gently rub her back. “But then again, who can? I am not teaching you how to fight against legionaries; I’m teaching you…well to be honest I’m not entirely certain what I’m teaching you to fight against.”
“I guess I just wanted to learn something new,” Diana thought aloud as she stood upright, removing his hand from her back and quickly stepping away from him. “Thank you. I’m alright now.”
As he sat under the shade of a tree by the river, Artorius struggled with feelings of awkwardness, given his latest interaction with Diana. By showing the slightest sign of physical affection towards her, he knew he had overstepped his bounds. She was a hard one to gauge. Though she had been very kind to him, there was still a barrier that existed between them. But of course this was probably unavoidable. After all, she was of the Patrician class, he a mere plebian soldier. Hell, he wasn’t even a Centurion; at least then he could show that he was advancing himself well enough along to be worthy of her. He then wondered if he misread Proculus’ intentions all along, that perhaps this was simply convalescence and nothing more. Diana had quite extensive knowledge when it came to medicines and treating injuries. It stood to reason that she took care for him and not risk reopening the wound on his leg by traveling too soon.
He tossed a stone into the water and gazed at the ripples. He then thought too about how neither ever referred to the other by their given names. She mostly called him by his rank, and he had always addressed her as “My Lady.” It was only proper of course. He then saw her walking along the path towards him, though he pretended not to notice.
“I came to see how you are doing, Sergeant,” Diana said as she approached.
“Just relaxing and enjoying the evening,” he replied. At that moment he felt incredibly awkward. She sat down on the fallen tree next to him, his eyes still fixed on the current. His breathing was shaky and he could not for the life of him figure out why he was so nervous around her.
“You’re quite the fascinating one,” Diana continued. “You are a legionary from the ranks, but yet you appear to be as well educated as any patrician.”
“My father is a teacher,” Artorius explained, trying to regain control over his wavering voice. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was now or never, he reasoned. He forced a coy grin and turned to face her, placing his hand on hers.
“I cannot help but wonder,” he said, “how is it that someone so beautiful is devoid of a husband?” Diana’s face darkened, her temper soaring. She smacked his hand away.
“How dare you ask me such a wicked thing!” she snapped standing up and turning to face him, her face red with anger. Artorius was beside himself and struggled to find the right words.
“My Lady, I am sorry; my intent was not to offend.”
“Well offend me you have, Sergeant,” Diana hissed. Artorius winced as she placed emphasis on his rank, driving the social wedge further between them. He was surprised that she did not storm off; rather she continued her diatribe. “Do you not know why I am alone; why the only use anyone has for me is to housesit an estate in the middle of fucking Gaul; of my failures to my family and to Rome?”
“My Lady please forgive me; you are no failure…” his words were cut short as he tried to stand, a blinding pain causing his leg to spasm. His face twisted in pain as he fell back onto his seat. Diana swallowed hard, regretting her outburst. She took a deep breath through her nose before continuing.
“It is the duty of every Roman woman to help her family to pass on their line,” she began. “I was married once, for a very brief time. It was a good match, and both our families looked to benefit greatly. It was soon after this that I failed in my role as a wife and Roman patrician. I am afflicted with a curse; a curse that the Fates have not allowed me to bear a child. No line can continue from my body, and I am of no use to any man. Every day I pray that my sister Claudia is not cursed as well.”
“I am sorry to hear that,” Artorius said, trying to console her. “I do not think you are cursed.” Diana pretended not to hear him.
“Proculus is but a second cousin to me, and yet he took pity on me. I am tired of everyone’s pity. He asked me to manage his Gallic estate while his wife is in Rome. That is what I’ve become; no better than a mere housekeeper, and yet I failed in that charge as well…” Her voice trailed off as she fought to control her emotions.
“You were facing one hundred armed men!” Artorius retorted. “What were you supposed to do, fight them off by yourself?”
“It matters not,” Diana replied her voice quiet, eyes lowered and arms folded across her chest. Artorius forced himself to his feet and took a step towards her.
“Well I don’t see you as afflicted,” he said. She raised her eyes and glared at him. The anger and hurt they conveyed was unnerving, but still he persisted. “It is not like you consciously asked to be this way. And besides, there are those who still care for you, regardless of your ability to bear children.” Diana looked at the ground once more and slowly shook her head.
“I see you still have much to learn,” she stated, her voice calm once more. To Artorius it was as cold as ice. “The idealism you frontier soldiers have the privilege of enjoying has little role in Roman society. You’ve become too detached by living amongst barbarians that you start to take on some of their values and beliefs.”
“And a
re all of those beliefs bad?” Artorius asked. “I learned a lesson not too long ago; and it was most painful for me. I learned that when you love someone you do not wait for politics to dictate whether it is right or not, nor do you brush it off as meaningless. Like you, I have suffered loss; a loss that still haunts me with regret to this day. Do not allow what happened to me happen to you. I allowed she who loved me to be taken away. The Fates cursed us for it…” He slowly sat down as Diana continued to stand in silence. “You can avoid this fate, you know; if you will only allow me to help you…”
“I’m sorry, but you cannot help me,” she said quietly, her eyes fixated on the slow-moving current. “And I do not want your help!” Immediately she regretted her words, for they were not true. She just could not bring herself to show her affections towards him, as desperately as she wanted to.
“You’re right,” he replied, forcing himself to his feet in resignation. Artorius turned and limped away and it was not just his leg that hurt him.
Diana was taken aback by his words, her eyes wide and lips slightly parted in surprise. She sat with her head in her hands, a feeling of hopelessness overcoming her. It was then that she remembered her promise to Kiana. It was a far greater thing that the young girl had forgiven Artorius and found redemption before her untimely death than it was for Diana to simply open her heart to him.
Suddenly she was tired; tired of being afraid, tired of being alone, tired of feeling like the constant failure in life. In that moment she let go of the bonds that held her soul captive.
It was an unfamiliar feeling for Artorius; one that he thought only existed in story books for children and spineless poets. His attraction for Diana went far beyond the physical, even though he found her to be more attractive than any woman he had ever known. No, this was something different, and it troubled him. Was this what his father felt for Juliana, or what Metellus had felt for Rowana? And was it what he may have felt for Camilla at one time? He certainly had his regrets about Camilla, but this feeling was not the same as what he had felt for her. There was a bond of sorts that he felt with Diana; an emotional bond that drew him to her. He knew this was a complete waste because there was no way she could ever have similar feelings for him. Certainly she probably had affection for him because he did save her life, but that was all. Diana kept an emotional barrier up that she allowed no one to get past, let alone a plebian soldier.
Artorius’ heart ached worse than his leg as he sat down on a rock that overlooked another part of the stream. This part was unfamiliar to him; there was a small waterfall that he fixed his gaze on while a pair of rabbits scampered through the tall grass on the far side. He let out a deep sigh as he looked out into the setting sun that had fallen behind the hills. He shivered slightly as darkness fell on him. He heard the rustle in the grass behind him and the snap of twigs. He turned to see Diana standing behind him, her hands folded and a sad smile on her face.
“My Lady,” he said turning his eyes back towards the running waterfall. As Diana slowly walked towards him, he closed his eyes and listened intently to the sound of her breathing, which was shaky. She knelt behind him, her arms trembling as she wrapped them around his shoulders and clasped her hands across his chest. He felt her breath on his neck and ear as she rested her head on his shoulder.
“Artorius, I am so sorry,” she whispered, causing him to shudder. It was the first time she had ever used his given name. Without thinking, he turned and kissed her. She did not pull away; instead she kissed him back while he took her in his arms. It was impossible to comprehend what they were doing, but yet there it was. They continued to kiss for some time, and as they did Artorius’ emotions soared. He caressed her back while she stroked the back of his head and sides of his face and neck. Diana continued to kiss him as she pulled him to his feet. He barely even noticed the pain in his leg. They held hands as they found their way through the woods and onto the road that led back to the estate. He used his crutch to support his injured leg while Diana held his other hand close; the fingers of her free hand gently caressing his arm. He trembled at how good it felt for he was a stranger to such affection and intimacy.
“How long have you felt this way for me?” Diana asked after a brief silence. Artorius took a deep breath and considered his reply.
“Since the first time I saw you in the Lugdunum market,” he replied. “I felt a strong attraction to you from the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“So all your trips to the estate were not mere coincidence then?” she asked with a short laugh.
“At first they were,” Artorius asserted. “Proculus saw my little mishap in the market, where I ran into that pillar…” Diana burst out laughing while Artorius mocked being hurt. “Anyway, he probably thought it would be amusing to have me act as a courier to you after that little incident. After that I started to request the privilege. Of course it was all under the guise that I liked to ride horses and wanted some fresh air for a few days. None of the other lads ever volunteered, so it became an additional duty for me; one I must say I always took pleasure in.”
“Your company was always appreciated, even if I did not always show it,” Diana replied as she squeezed his hand affectionately. “And yet it took tragedy and death to bring us to appreciate those things in each other. Sad…”
“There were too many barriers between us,” Artorius observed. “And there still are. You are of the patrician class, and I a common soldier.”
“I am a divorcee as well, with an affliction that makes me an unsuitable wife to any.” Diana’s face fell as a tear came to her eye. Artorius stopped and turned to face her as she let out a short sob. He ran the back of his hand over her cheek.
“Well if it makes you feel any better,” he said, “I have no patience for children, so I certainly do not see you as afflicted. Besides, if I get the desire to pass on my family name I’ll adopt someone when I’m an old man…preferably somebody already grown and established.” Diana let out a short laugh and tried to wipe some of her tears away. He put his arm around her and laid her head on his shoulder. “Come here.” Diana wrapped an arm around his waist as they continued their walk. Artorius was grateful for the added support, for his bad leg was starting to trouble him again.
“Just tell me one thing,” Diana said. “Tell me that you were not drawn to me merely because you felt sorry for me.”
“Not at all,” Artorius replied. “I feel sorry for many, but that does not mean I fall for them. No, there was something in your aura that drew me to you…that and I admit I was quite taken by you physically!” They shared a laugh as Diana kissed him gently on the cheek. They walked in silence for some time before Diana spoke again.
“Tell me about her,” she said. Artorius thought hard about what he would say.
“Her name was Camilla,” he replied. “We grew up together in Ostia.” He then decided if he was going to tell Diana about her, he would tell her everything. Diana held him closer as he described Camilla’s death and when he gave his medallion to her daughter.
“A bit of irony that the medallion that Camilla gave to me, that I in turn gave to little Marcia bears the image of your namesake,” he observed.
“I think perhaps Diana has always been a part of your life,” she replied, looking up into his face.
“I wish she could continue to be,” Artorius said, Diana smiling at the double-meaning of his words.
Eventually they reached the gates of the estate. Diana’s maidservant came out to meet her, but smiled and walked back inside when she saw the couple together. As they walked inside, lamps dimly lit the upstairs corridor. Artorius was surprised when they kept walking past the guest quarters that he had been staying in. They stopped shortly past them; Diana taking her head from his shoulder and placing both arms around his waist.
“You don’t have to stay in the guest rooms tonight,” she said, a gleam in her eye. Artorius grinned and kissed her affectionately on the lips.
“Where to my Lady?”
&nbs
p; “D…Drusus, you are not l…looking well,” Claudius said as he passed his cousin in the forum. They two men had not seen each other in a few weeks, and Claudius immediately noticed the lack of color in Drusus’ face. Though it was a warm day, he kept his toga wrapped close to him, as if he were cold. Their mutual friend, Herod Agrippa, accompanied him.
“I don’t feel good either,” Drusus replied before succumbing to a coughing fit.
“It’s too much drinking, old friend,” Herod chided, a look of concern on his face. Drusus looked back at him and gave a snort.
“Well look who’s talking!” he retorted. “A bit of a hypocrite are we?” Herod raised his hands up, mocking his innocence.
“Hey, I only accompany you on your little debacles because your father asked me to keep an eye on you…okay and I admit you do know where the best brothels are. Still, if you kept your pallet to simple wine and not that abominable sewage you drink every night, you might not get so sick all the time.”
“Yeah, well it’s all stuff that comes from your friends in the east,” Drusus retorted as he resumed coughing once more. Herod glanced over at Claudius and shook his head. Though he tried to remain good-natured, Claudius knew their Judean friend was deeply worried about Drusus.
“W…why don’t you b…both join me for dinner this evening?” Claudius asked. In truth he did not get to see his friends nearly enough. He also hoped that perhaps by keeping Drusus away from the dens of iniquity he might be able to help restore his health.
“An excellent idea!” Herod said with much enthusiasm. Drusus replied with another coughing fit.
“No, I don’t think I’ll make it,” he said after spitting out a glob of phlegm. “I would love to, but I think Livilla has some new type of medicine she wants me to try. She said it will help my cough, but may make me fall asleep. I won’t be very good company if I sleep through your hospitality, now will I?”