Breathless Night

by K. Aybara

  Tucker chirped in quickly, “Zane, the joke is on you. Cailyn already has him following her around like a lost puppy dog. What do you think he is going to be like after the wedding? He is going to be used to running around aimlessly for no reason.” That got a few chuckles out of the guys as I rolled my eyes. “Very funny, guys. Just wait until you each find that one love that you would do anything for. I can’t wait to point out how much you all change for her.”

  “Thanks to you and this wedding, I found my one today. That Celeste… Hot damn. I can’t wait to spend some more time with her; however, unlike you, I’m not going to become a pansy and do whatever she wants.”

  “Ryan, if you want to try and impress Celeste, you go for it. I will sit back and enjoy the show with the rest of the guys. I’m warning you though, if you don’t think she is going to change you, you have definitely got another thing coming. That is one strong willed woman and she will be more than happy to rearrange everything about your life for you, including the location of your testicles.”

  As Zane walked off to do those few things for me, I walked into the room where I had stored the things I needed for today. I walked over to the shoebox that had the flowers in it. Little did anyone know that while I was out on my morning run, I came across a field of wildflowers that I just couldn’t resist stopping and picking a few for Cailyn. Hopefully Megan could bring me the bouquet without Cailyn knowing so that I could slip them into it. There wasn’t many, but I thought they were beautiful and would just add a little something. I hope she didn’t hate me for it.

  AS AUNT MEGAN WAS MAKING SURE that the dress was lying properly, I heard a knock at the door. Mom started to hop up and check to see who it was, but Aunt Megan gave her that look and she immediately sat back down. “Cailyn dear, you look absolutely beautiful. I will see who’s at the door, then I am going to go get you your bouquet so that you have it for your photographs.

  “Aileen, you better not get up out of that chair while I am gone. If I have to get Terry in here to watch you I will.” As she opened, the door I saw my dad’s eyes get as big as saucers as he got his first look of his baby girl in her wedding dress. He leaned over to Megan and whispered something to her before walking into the room. “I will take care of that, Terry, but you need to keep an eye on Aileen. She is not following doctor’s orders and if she isn’t careful, she is going to end up doing even more damage to herself.” My dad nodded at my aunt.

  “Cailyn honey, you have not made me this speechless since the first time I held you in my arms. From that first time I looked into those beautiful blue eyes of yours I knew that I was going to dread this day.

  “I worried horribly that you wouldn’t find a man that could live up to the standards I would set for him, to care for you, protect and respect you, to simply be the man that you deserve. That first night Luke was on our front porch speaking with me, I knew there was something about him; I just had this gut feeling that he would always be there for you.

  “Your mother and I could not be any more proud of both of you today. We have seen how happy you make each other over the time you have been together and only wish that you will continue to make each other that happy for many years to come.

  “And speaking of you, Aileen, what do you think you are doing not listening to the doctor? You cannot ruin our daughter’s day over some silly thing like not wearing your sling or lifting something you shouldn’t. I know you didn’t want to be in the accident today, and you had no control over that. Can you please just listen to what the doctor told you though?”

  I walked over to my Daddy and put my arms around him, looking up at him as if I were still just six years old. “Daddy, please stop yelling at Mom. She has not done anything to hurt herself since Aunt Megan got on her.”

  “Terry dear, I know I shouldn’t be doing anything with my arm, but do you know how hard it is to sit back on this one day and do nothing? To sit back and watch my sister help my only daughter get ready for her wedding? I have dreamt about this day just as long as Cailyn has, and all I can do is sit back and watch. I feel completely useless, and all because I was in such a hurry that I forgot my phone this morning.”

  “I’m sorry, Aileen, I didn’t even think of that. Forgive me for getting upset? We all just want this day to be perfect so let’s all do what we can to make it that way. There is a very special young man out there waiting, and in just a couple hours he will be a part of this family too. I couldn’t have asked for a better son, but right now I just want to hug my girls.”

  AS I WAS SITTING THERE very carefully laying out the flowers that I picked, I heard the door open. Turning around to look, I saw Megan walking in with the bouquet. “Oh thank goodness, you were able to get it away from her.”

  “Luke, why do you want her bouquet? You know that she was very specific with the florist of how she wants this.”

  I picked up a couple of the flowers I had and I turned towards Megan. “Well, I was on my run this morning and I saw these. I thought that they would not only really compliment the bouquet, I thought Cailyn would love them.”

  “Luke, those are gorgeous. Those Bluets are just the right shade to compliment the blue orchids without drawing too much attention to them. And the Blue Wood Asters, I’ve never seen them so vibrant this early in the year. Luke, I think you did an amazing job and she will definitely love them.

  “I know you had good intentions, but do you mind if I place them in the bouquet? I think my smaller hands might be better situated to not mess up the rest of the flowers while sliding those in.”

  “Thanks, Megan, I really appreciate everything you have done for Cailyn and me today. From what I saw while I was out getting the photos taken, everything is absolutely beautiful.”

  “Luke Roberts, you know you were not supposed to go into the garden. I talked with Josh myself to make sure that neither you nor Cailyn had any pictures taken over there and he assured me that he would keep you away.”

  “Calm down. He made sure we weren’t in the area. Cailyn won’t be able to see a thing from her vantage point, but I was able to catch just a few glances from mine. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I am just a little taller than she is.”

  “I guess you have a point. I better go hunt her down and give this to her. I wish you could be there to see her reaction when she gets it, but I’m sure she will thank you for it later.”

  “Thanks again, Megan.” Leaning over to give her a hug, she wrapped her arms around me and I could hear her sniffling a little. Megan never had any children of her own and I knew this day was just as important for her as it as for Mr. and Mrs. Donnelly.

  Once she left, I took a few moments to reflect on my life. As a kid growing up, things were great while I was young. Mom stayed at home to take care of Zane and me while Dad worked tirelessly to put food in our mouths and keep a roof over our heads. We didn’t have a lot growing up, but we were happy and had family. That was all that ever really mattered.

  When Mom got diagnosed with the cancer, it turned all of our lives upside down. As her health went downhill, so did Dad’s. At first it was just the exhaustion that set in with him, working all the time and still trying to be there for her. Immediately, we saw that we didn’t matter in his eyes. We would go days without seeing him as he was always at the hospital or work. I guess I could understand that, but he never even asked anyone to check on us.

  Once she passed, he replaced her with a bottle. At first it was a different bottle each night, but on the really bad nights it almost seemed a different one each hour. We learned quickly how to fend for ourselves, which churches and neighborhood centers had free meals on what days and what hours. It was far from an ideal way of growing up.

  Zane and I both made a promise to each other all those years ago that we would never bring a child into this world if we thought it would have to suffer one tenth as much as we did. I know Cailyn wants to have kids and I can’t wait either. I’m scared though. What would I do if something happened to her? Now t
hat I understood how someone could be so important that they became the reason for waking up each morning; the reason for taking each breath during the day I could almost sympathize with my father. I would be completely devastated if she were ripped out of my arms, but at the same time a father should have that same love for his children.

  Would I have that love and devotion for our kids? Would I care for them as much as I did for her? Was that even possible? I was terrified even to think about it. How could anyone love more than one person as much as I loved her? I guess that was a path we would have to cross together when the time came.

  Zane stuck his head in the door and with one look at me could tell I’m a little nervous. “Breck, hand me that flask, I know you have another one. Looks like our boy needs one more shot. Luke, I was just coming to tell you that we have thirty minutes before we need to take our places. Guests are starting to arrive and the girls are wrapping up their photos. Cailyn will be done in fifteen, so after that I will come to get you. You going to be alright man?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I was just thinking about life and how it used to be. I hope I can do a better job than Dad did.”

  “There is no doubt in my mind that you will do a better job than him. You will be there, and that in and of itself is leaps and bounds more than he ever did for us. But, umm… There is one more thing I need to tell you. Dad’s here.”

  “What?! What do you mean he’s here? He hasn’t wanted anything to do with either one of us in almost twenty years.”

  “I don’t know why he is here. I saw him walking my way and I sent Ryan to intercept while I walked away. The look on his face when he saw me recognize him, I think it hurt him, but I don’t care. I wish I could hurt him half as much as he hurt us. The county never took us away, because they said since he wasn’t physically hurting us he was being a good parent. They never cared that we had to go beg for food scraps, recycle his bottles to have money for school supplies, or any other number of things that piece of shit put us through.”

  “I’m not any happier about it than you are, but this is my wedding day. Do you think you can be civil long enough to not completely ruin it? I don’t care if that means staying away from him altogether. I will take care of him if need be. Have one of the guys bring him to me and I will talk to him before I head out there. Maybe I can get him to leave before a scene is started, and yes, I’m going to need another shot of that shine.”

  “I’m telling you, bro, this is not a good idea. Why don’t you just let me call the cops and have him escorted off?”

  “I am not letting you get the cops involved. I really don’t think Cailyn would appreciate the red and blue lights with the decorations, and neither would Megan. I’ll take care of it.”

  STANDING OUTSIDE LOOKING AROUND for my aunt, I knew she had to be around here somewhere with my bouquet that I needed for my photographs. Where could she be? Daddy said that she was going to get it and would bring it to me.

  “Cailyn dear, I’m sorry it took me so long.”

  She was walking up to me with her hands behind her back. “It’s alright, Aunt Megan, where is my bouquet? What do you have behind your back? Please tell me nothing happened to my bouquet.”

  “Well, nothing bad happened to it.”

  I could feel my eyes growing to the size of Jupiter as she started to bring her hands around to the front, my perfect bouquet… It’s not what I told the florist to do. Well, it almost was, but there was more to it. “It’s beautiful, but those extra flowers. Where did they come from?”

  “Luke found them on his run this morning and thought that you might like them. I helped him put them in the bouquet so that he didn’t smash anything, but he evidently picked them so that he could give you something special before the wedding. He really hopes that you like them.”

  “They are perfect. They really make the rest of the bouquet. I don’t know how I thought it was beautiful without them.”

  About that time, Ashley walked up. “Cailyn, come on. Josh is waiting for you. We already have all of our pictures done, we just need to get yours going. We are running out of time. Are you crying again?”

  “No, Ash, I am not crying. Well, maybe a little but they are happy tears. Luke picked some flowers this morning for me and added them to my bouquet. Isn’t it beautiful?”

  “It’s gorgeous, just like you are. Now you need to get over there pronto for these pictures before Josh sends Celeste over to drag you. Please don’t make that happen, she might decide to drag you by your hair, and we don’t have time to fix it.”

  As we were walking over to where the rest of the girls are, I saw Josh looking down at his watch. “Josh, calm down. I am not going to be mad at you if I am the one holding things up. Let’s just get done what we can now, and then we can take the rest later.”

  As I was standing there posing for the pictures, I could feel the butterflies fluttering away in my stomach. I couldn’t believe this day had finally come. Between the nerves about the wedding and then the excitement of tonight, I felt like the butterflies could carry me away.

  Why did I have to think about tonight again? Just that little thought had my blood racing. I’m sure those last couple of pictures would have a great smile in them. I heard Josh say something about it, but all I could think about is Luke’s hard cock in my hands, stroking it as we kissed.

  “Earth to Cailyn, are you there?”

  “Huh, oh, sorry, Liz. I was just thinking about how nervous I am.”

  “Yeah, we saw that smile. We know what you were thinking about and why you’re nervous, but it’s time to get back inside so that we can get this party started. Are you ready to become Mrs. Luke Roberts?”

  “I’m not really sure if I will ever be more ready, but is it normal for me to be scared to death at the same time?”

  “Absolutely. Now let’s get you back inside. After all, we have to get Luke out there, standing in front of everyone with all eyes on him for a while to see how he handles the pressure.”

  While sitting and waiting in the room, the fifteen-minute wait started to feel like fifteen years, each second felt like an hour, each minute like a day. My nerves started to make me feel a little nauseous and as Mom and Daddy walk in I could tell it was probably a good thing we were done with pictures for now.

  “Sweetie, are you feeling sick? You are looking a little green. Terry, get her some water.”

  “Yes, Mom, I am just nervous. I’ve been thinking about how much my life is going to change in just this one day. I won’t live at home anymore, I won’t see you and Daddy every day, I won’t be…well, you know.”

  “Cailyn, honey, it will all be perfect. Every woman goes through this before they walk down the aisle. It is completely normal to be nervous. You should see Luke, he is a complete mess out there waiting for you. I promise you this though, as soon as you walk into that room and your eyes meet, the nerves will vanish, the fears will dissolve, and there will only be the two of you. You won’t even know that anyone else is in the room until your father tugs on your arm to start walking down the aisle.”

  “She’s telling you the truth, sweetie. I can remember standing up there at the front of the room, a nervous wreck. All of your mother’s family just staring me down like I was in the middle of a lynch mob. The doors swung open and the first thing I saw was your grandfather. He looked like he wanted to pull the lever to drop the platform and hang me himself, but then I saw your mother. Nothing else mattered after that, it was just me, her, and the preacher. Don’t worry, I will get you down that aisle safely, and once I place your hands in his, you won’t even know anyone is there until you hear them hooting and hollering after that first kiss.”

  “Terry! Don’t tell her that. Honey, it will all be wonderful. I know you worked long and hard on your vows, and I am sure Luke did too. Just take a couple deep breaths and let’s get out there. It is just about time to get started.”

  “Can I just get one more hug from both of you?”

  “Of cour
se you can, sweetheart, of course you can.”

  WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO? Why did my father decide that today would be a good day to come back into my life? Breck walked in through the door, looked at me, and then back at my father, “Alright, Dick, the man doesn’t have a lot of time, so I am going to stand outside this door for five minutes before I come in again. If I hear sounds like you are upsetting him, I will come back in again and remove you from the premises. Are we clear?”

  “Young man, I told you, my name is Richard. I’m not here to upset my son, but I appreciate you caring enough for him to take the unnecessary precaution. I assure you that in five minutes I will either be welcome to stay or gladly leave without incident.”

  Breck closed the door as I turned on my father. “Son? So now, after all these years I am your son? What about all those years I wanted nothing more than to have a dad to play a game of catch with me, or hell, I don’t know, maybe some food in my mouth?”

  “Luke, there are no words that can express my request for forgiveness thoroughly enough that I could even imagine that the Heavenly Father would not condemn me to Hell for what I put you and your brother through. I know that I was a horrible father, but it is not your place to judge me. It is His place to judge me, and if I am not forgiven than I am damned to be without your mother for eternity.”

  “What, so now you are a saved man? I’m happy for you, I really am. I know how hard it is to change. I had to do it myself because of what you put me through. Do you know how many times Zane thought the food I was bringing home was handouts when I had to steal for it? Do you know how many times I told him lies to protect him because you wouldn’t protect either of us from this cruel world? And because you found peace with yourself and God, you want me to forgive and forget?!”