The Race

by Ian Berry

  Jeeves appeared. “Would you care for your usual refreshments?”

  “Not just yet, Jeeves,” said Lydia. “The Saskias will be here shortly, then would be a good time.”

  Jeeves inclined his head in understanding and withdrew, probably to terrorise the kettle.

  There was something we needed to do. “James, we owe you a hug and a kiss for the remarks you made to us on Tuesday. I think now might be a good time.”

  I got up and went over to him. He stood up as well and we embraced. I kissed him. “Thank you James, for being understanding. I know we can be difficult sometimes.”

  While Saskia hugged and kissed James, I went and kissed Lydia, in case she felt left out.

  When all that was completed to the satisfaction of all parties, Saskia and I sat down again.

  “Given the way you have to run your lives, I’m surprised that being difficult sometimes is all that happens,” said James. “Do you never argue?”

  “Never,” said Saskia. “Probably having said that, we’ll go home tonight, have a fight and fall out - but I doubt it - I doubt it a lot!”

  Further conversation along those line was cut short by the arrival of our later selves, still dressed in their red overalls.

  “Hello, us,” said Saskia Hunt. The four of us hugged and kissed each other, then the Saskias did the same to James and Lydia.

  “Good idea, arranging for us to come here,” said Saskia Chandler. “Can’t stay too long, Rob will be expecting us home at some point.”

  “You can stay long enough for a hot chocolate at least,” said Lydia. “You’ll disappoint Jeeves if you don’t.”

  “We can’t have that now can we,” I grinned. At that exact moment, Jeeves himself appeared with the aforementioned hot chocolate for the four of us and coffee for James and Lydia.

  With hot chocolate drunk, it was time to make the necessary arrangements.

  “Voice said we just needed to call for it,” said Saskia.

  “Yeah. You’ll appear back at the plant this afternoon. You’ve got most of the afternoon still to go,” said Saskia Hunt.

  “At least that means we can get ourselves ready I suppose,” I said. “Bye us, Bye Lydia. Bye James, see you earlier,” I grinned and said, “Voice?”

  Without any in-between, we were standing in the bushes behind the plant. We must have more or less just left as Kyra and Katya. Nobody would miss us this afternoon - we hadn’t been missing! In fact, it was only just nicely lunchtime.

  If anybody thought we weren’t quite ourselves that afternoon, they probably put it down to being nervous about being on TV. Wasn’t that at all of course. We were thinking about what else we were actually doing at that very moment elsewhere in the town.

  “I wonder why all the kids were in the hall at once?” asked Saskia.

  “Good job they were, been some killed otherwise.”

  “Anyway, let’s not worry about that at the moment, we know it ends ok. A last hot chocolate then to the studio.”

  “You and your hot chocolate. At least it won’t make you need to visit the Ladies.”

  “Got to remember to ask to be in the studio when the other two appear from the school.”

  “Hm. Wonder how we’re going to arrange it.”

  I wasn’t worried, it had already happened so we’d done it. It’d work out, it usually did.

  We were at the studio nicely by five o’clock as asked. We’d changed to be wearing the overalls as we went along in the mini. They took us to something they called a Green Room.

  “Why a Green Room Twin? Isn’t green anyway, it’s white.”

  “Search me. Why is anything called anything? Why are you called Saskia?”

  “Because Mum and Dad decided they liked it.”

  “Maybe somebody liked the name Green Room.”

  In the Green Room, they gave us an idea of what they were going to do. “Programme’s up the wall at the moment. Running order’s been chucked out of the window. There a school collapsed somewhere in town and Frank’s on his way there now. Hopefully we’ll go live to him early in the programme.”

  “We know about that,” said Saskia. “The local nick asked us to contact Kyra and Katya - you know? The SuperTwins - for them. Far as we know they should be there at the moment.”

  “So you were involved in getting them to help rescue the kids?”

  “Mm, yes. Any chance we can sit in? I suppose you can ask us about it.”

  “Great idea. Hang on, I’ll be back. Just let the team know.” She rushed out.

  “Another running order in the bin,” I said. “At least we get to be where we should be.”

  Our latest new friend was back. “Ok. You’re in the studio at the start. Rhiannon will open the show and do the menu then it’ll be you, then we’ll go to Frank at the school. After that you can come out until we get to your bit, which I think is last before the weather. Don’t hold your breath though, everything’s changing as stuff breaks. Going to be one of those nights.”

  I remember once being told about a saying. It went ‘ hurry up and wait’. That’s what we seemed to do. Rush from place to place then sit and wait. Makeup wanted us. We said why? They said you’re girls, it’s expected. In the wait bit after makeup I had a laugh with Saskia.

  “Expected is it? They’d have three kinds of fit if they knew the truth.”

  “Shut up you,” laughed Saskia. “I keep telling you, you are what you look like.”

  We hurried up and we waited and finally it was time. We were wheeled into the studio.

  “Blimey, Twin. It’s a bit small!” whispered Saskia.

  “That’s what a wide angle lens does for you. Ask Rio, she’ll tell you.”

  This time, because we were expected, they had enough earpieces to go round. A nice young man fussed over us, fitting us with gubbins and microphones and transmitters and whatnot. Eventually we managed to sit down opposite Rhiannon.

  “We’ll do the intro and menu then I’ll ask you about this afternoon. Ok?”

  We nodded. Rhiannon could obviously hear the director in the control room (called a ‘gallery’, don’t ask) but we couldn’t. What I could hear was sound from the truck at the school. Ray was worrying.

  “I haven’t enough IEMs, I’ll try to rig a speaker.”

  Then I heard myself, “Don’t worry we’ll hear fine. Don’t fuss Ray, you can do this.”

  “Ok. If you say so.”

  By turning up the super hearing I managed to hear Saskia.

  “IEMs, Twin?

  “Stands for In Ear Monitor. Earpiece to you and me. Just rev up the super hearing and listen to Franks.”

  I could tell the Saskia in the studio had been listening as well. If Rhiannon wondered why we were smiling, she didn’t ask. Then we were on the air!

  Rhiannon opened the programme, worked down the menu with clips from a playback machine of some kind, then turned to us.

  “With me in the studio are Saskia Hunt and Saskia Chandler. We’ll hear from them later on and find out why they’re dressed in those very fetching overalls but first we have a breaking news story which actually involves them.”

  Rhiannon continued,” At lunchtime today, for reasons that we don’t know at the moment, St David’s Junior School was shaken to the ground. The two Saskias here were instrumental in bringing aid to the stricken school. What happened, girls? How did you hear about it?”

  “Harold, the Desk Sergeant at the police station, called us just after lunch,” Saskia said. “We have our own methods of contacting Kyra and Katya. Harold knows this so he asked us to speak to them. I spoke to Katya and she said they’d go straight over. As far as I know they did.”

  Rhiannon spoke to Saskia. “We know they got there and we know the rescue was successful. In fact our report
er, Frank Fletcher, is there now and he has the SuperTwins with him. Good evening, Frank.”

  Frank began to speak. I could hear him quite plainly now in my earpiece. We could see him as well on a monitor next to one of the cameras. The picture widened to include the two of us dressed as the SuperTwins.

  “Yes, good evening, Rhiannon. Despite the mess you can see behind me, all the children were rescued unhurt, all completely due to these two remarkable girls.”

  Frank turned to Kyra and Katya. “Saskia Hunt has just told us how you were alerted. Apparently you were here within minutes.”

  “Well, we can move quite quickly when we want to,” Kyra said with a smile. “And when we need to of course,” Then she added, “I’m Kyra, by the way.”

  “Thanks for that,” laughed Frank. “Now just don’t change places or that’s me done for the night.”

  Rhiannon laughed at that, as did Saskia and me. Frank continued.

  “Do you know what caused the building to collapse?”

  “We can’t speculate,” said Kyra. “You’d have to ask the nice men from the police and fire service. What I will say, since I’ve been inside and they haven’t, is that the building was totally destroyed. There was only one wall left standing and that was supporting the rubble above the children. I had to make a hole in it to get to them. After that they only just managed to get clear before the building collapsed completely.”

  “On top of you as I understand it,” said Frank.

  “Yes, that’s true. But I’m made of sterner stuff than any old school building.”

  We were laughing again in the studio.

  Rhiannon had a question, “Katya, what were you doing while Kyra was digging away inside the building.”

  I heard Katya say, “Several things. One thing was organising the emergency boys and girls. They had to muster enough vehicles to cope with a lot of children. Most important was inching the tunnel forwards as Kyra directed. Another thing was watching your TV truck appear and worrying about doing exactly what I’m doing now.”

  That caused more laughter from everybody.

  I realised I had a speech to give. “Katya and Kyra, it’s Saskia Chandler. Out of all the people you’ve spoken to, nobody has said ‘thank you’. I’d like to repair that omission on their behalf. Thank you from everybody, us here, the people there, but most of all from the children you rescued.”

  “And I’d like to add my thanks as well,” said Saskia.

  The news people were stunned into silence, broken by Kyra at the school, “I don’t blame them. What’s more important at this very moment, being with your safe, rescued child or being off somewhere thanking her rescuer. I know which I’d choose. Nevertheless, thank you for your kind words.”

  Rhiannon recovered first. “Thank you Frank Fletcher and the SuperTwins at the site of the collapsed school. We’ll bring you more on that story as we get it. Later, we’ll be talking to the Saskias about their coming race against each other. But first, have you ever wondered how supermarkets decide what to put on special offer? Sally has too. She went to find out.” The monitor next to the cameras cut to a pre-recorded package.

  “That was good girls, thanks. You can take a break for a little while. Not me, I’ve got to stay right here,” said Rhiannon with a smile.

  A girl with a radio and a headset rounded us up and shooed us back to the Green Room. “You needn’t take all the stuff off, you’ll need it again in a minute.”

  “A bit heavy, saying nobody thanked us.”

  “Not intended that way. More a vote of thanks on behalf of everybody else. It’ll work out.”

  There was another person with us, obviously waiting to be dragged in front of the cameras. He looked like a politician. He totally ignored us so we didn’t attempt conversation.

  After what seemed like hours but was probably less than fifteen minutes, the girl with the headset came and fetched us again. The politician type was long gone, there was just us, last act on.

  Rhiannon was doing a piece to camera, we were slid onto our couch as quietly as possible. Eventually she finished and turned to us.

  “And now we come back to Saskia Hunt and Saskia Chandler. Girls, dressed like that, I have difficulty telling you apart. Perhaps not quite as much difficulty as Frank had with those two friend of yours but I’m glad you have your names on those overalls. Now, what is this all about?”

  Saskia grinned as she began to explain. “A good friend of ours is a photographer, Rio Ashworth, you might have seen her skulking about around the Prime Minister last Thursday, she was the one in every other camera shot.”

  Rhiannon laughed dutifully so I continued. “She asked us to help her arrange to take pictures of stuff going fast, blurred background, motion streaks, that sort of thing. It occurred to us that cars on a race circuit might do. I spoke to our friend Barry Grenville at the local racing circuit, he made us swap a day taking pictures for us two doing laps in his little racing cars. I think he wants to encourage more girls to have a go.”

  “I think that’s a good idea,” said Rhiannon. “Girls should do things like that. I might have a go myself. But why a race?”

  “We did this a while ago and Saskia beat me despite my having a sort of background - my Uncle Richie used to race cars. He taught me how to do it as well. We don’t actually race, that’d be too dangerous. It’s against the clock really.”

  Rhiannon had been nodding so we just carried on, at least Saskia did. “We just thought it’d be interesting to see what would happen if we did it again. Various people heard about it and it seems to have escalated a bit. Sir James Robinson, our boss, has let a couple of his drivers race a couple of the big trucks, they used to do that years ago. The whole thing is turning into a bit of a day out. That’s all very well, but no good if nobody knows about it. So that’s why it’s in the paper and probably why we’re here tonight.”

  “So there’s a certain rivalry between you and Saskia then?” asked Rhiannon, obviously trying to get a word in edgeways.

  “Perhaps. It’s not real rivalry of course. Couldn’t do that, she’s my friend. However, that won’t stop us trying as hard as we can,” I said.

  “We think some of the betting shops are running a book on us - taking bets,” said Saskia. “We need to try to be fair for them if nothing else.”

  “What do you think about that? Having people make bets about what you might do?” asked Rhiannon.

  “I have to say that it’s not something I’d want to do myself, but if that’s what other people want to do ...” I did a little shrug.

  “How about you Saskia?

  “I’m not sure about stuff like that. It’s like anything else I suppose - it’s ok until it takes over your life, then you have a problem.”

  We’d gone on so long they ran out of time. Rhiannon turned to look at the camera and said, “So there you have it. The Saskias are going to race each other. Who’ll win? We don’t know. What we do know is that we’ll be there to find out and we’ll tell you on Monday. Now, Maria has the weather - Maria?”

  While Maria did the weather in her corner, Saskia and were quietly slid off our couch and spirited away. This time we got to take off all our gear, with a little help from the nice young man.

  By the time that was all done, the programme was off the air. Rhiannon appeared with some of the production people.

  “That was really well done, girls. Made my job easy you did - not like Councillor Fenton - did you see him in the Green Room? Like pulling teeth. I couldn’t keep him on the subject. Just wish we’d had a bit longer to talk to you but with the school thing and whatnot ...”

  “We’re happy you’re happy,” grinned Saskia. “Fun really. Not sure I’d like to do it a lot but now and then - ok.”

  “I’m sorry if I seemed a bit heavy with the thank you thing,” I said. “Sa
skia told me off about it. Really, I only wanted to save everybody worrying that they hadn’t done by doing it for them.”

  “Ah. Good job you reminded me. We had a lot of emails about that while we were on the air. Pretty much all of them said what a good idea it was - to do a public thank you. I shouldn’t worry about it.”

  “We’ve got to go I’m afraid,” said Saskia. “We promised to call on Sir James and then my dad will want to add his three pennyworth later. Who’s coming on Sunday? Frank and Ray?”

  “Yeah. They’ll probably bring the little truck but it won’t be live, not like that piece from the school.”

  We took our leave of the studio people. I felt really quite good about the whole thing. I asked Saskia for her thoughts as we got into the mini.

  “Good, on the whole. Like I said - not every day but - yes - good.”

  At James and Lydia’s Jeeves was on hand to let us in. He didn’t bat an eyelid at our strange attire - perhaps he’d been watching us on TV and knew what to expect. We knew where the others were of course - we’d been here before.

  “Hello, us,” said Saskia. The four of us hugged and kissed each other, then we did the same to James and Lydia.

  “Good idea, arranging for us to come here,” I said. “Can’t stay too long, Rob will be expecting us home at some point.”

  “You can stay long enough for a hot chocolate at least,” said Lydia. “You’ll disappoint Jeeves if you don’t.”

  “We can’t have that now can we,” grinned Kyra. At that exact moment, Jeeves himself appeared with the aforementioned hot chocolate for the four of us and coffee for James and Lydia.

  With hot chocolate drunk, it was time to make the necessary arrangements.

  “Voice said we just needed to call for it,” said Katya.

  “Yeah. You’ll appear back at the plant this afternoon. You’ve got most of the afternoon still to go,” said Saskia.

  “At least that means we can get ourselves ready I suppose,” said Kyra. “Bye us, Bye Lydia. Bye James, see you earlier,” she grinned and said, “Voice?”