Night Train to Murder

by Simon R. Green

  ‘We’ll carry out our questioning in as civilized a manner as possible,’ she said soothingly. ‘We’re only interested in identifying the killer. Not your personal lives or backgrounds.’

  ‘Unless they turn out to be connected to the killing,’ I said.

  ‘So it’s going to be good cop, bad cop, is it?’ said Howard. ‘Don’t look so surprised. I watch television. I know how this works.’ He looked at me steadily, almost indifferently. ‘Just ask your questions, so we can get this over with.’

  ‘All right,’ I said. ‘The first order of business is to confiscate all your phones and laptops.’ I raised a hand to forestall their immediate objections. ‘They’ll be put somewhere safe and returned to you later. But for now we can’t allow any communications with the outside world.’

  ‘Why not?’ said Sita. She sounded outraged at the very thought of being cut off from everyone.

  ‘We can’t risk the killer talking to his people,’ I said. ‘Either to confirm Sir Dennis’s death or to ask for assistance. And it’s important that the world doesn’t know what’s happened, just yet. For security reasons.’

  The three businesspeople looked sullenly back at me. It seemed the magic word security was losing some of its power.

  ‘You have no right to do this!’ Sita said loudly. ‘You just want to keep us isolated, and frightened, and helpless … so you’ll have an easier time intimidating us!’

  ‘I told you, I’m meeting someone,’ said Rupert. ‘I need to be able to contact them if it looks like I’m going to be late.’

  ‘I have a room booked at a hotel in Bath,’ said Howard. ‘I don’t want them giving it to someone else.’

  ‘What’s in my phone and on my laptop is my business,’ Sita said flatly. ‘I’m not having you looking at them.’ She looked fiercely at the others. ‘I told you this would happen. Told you we couldn’t trust them. Don’t give in! He can’t take our property away from us if we won’t let him.’

  ‘We’ll be in Bath in under an hour,’ I said to Rupert and Howard. ‘Your lives won’t grind to a halt just because you’re going to be out of touch for a while.’ I turned to Sita. ‘And unless you’ve been looking up Assassins R Us, I don’t give a damn about your browser history.’

  ‘It’s just routine procedure,’ Penny said soothingly. ‘No reason for any of you to take this personally.’

  I looked down the aisle at Brian. ‘I’m going to need your phone as well.’

  He looked back at me, lost for words, openly affronted at being lumped in with the other suspects.

  ‘I need you to set a good example, Brian,’ I said.

  He nodded stiffly, strode down the aisle, took out his phone and thrust it at me. I accepted it, and Brian glared meaningfully at the other passengers before stomping back down the aisle to take up his position at the door again.

  The businesspeople looked at each other, and Rupert and Howard finally nodded grudgingly. Penny and I stood back, so the three of them could get up and go back to their seats. They gathered up their phones and laptops, and Rupert and Howard handed theirs over to Penny without a word. Sita handed over her phone, but clutched her laptop tightly to her chest, defying me to wrestle it away from her. I was pretty sure I could, but I was curious. What could she possibly have on there that she was so determined to keep from me? Well, when in doubt, be direct.

  ‘What’s so important about your laptop, Sita?’ I said bluntly. ‘And just what have you been working at so busily all this time?’

  Sita scowled at me, started to say something and then broke off, as she realized Rupert and Howard were looking at her suspiciously, wondering what it was she was trying so hard to hide.

  ‘All right!’ she said. ‘If you must know … I’m a journalist. I work for the Evening Standard, covering the political beat. I got on this train because I was following a story, over Sir Dennis’s sudden and very unexpected promotion to a top-level job.’

  Rupert and Howard looked at her disappointedly. She wasn’t one of them after all. Sita didn’t notice because she was too busy trying to stare me down.

  ‘What kind of story were you pursuing?’ I said.

  ‘Nothing worth Sir Dennis getting killed over,’ said Sita. ‘Just mutterings about him getting a job he really wasn’t entitled to. Sir Dennis has always been a bit dodgy, but this looked as if it might have the makings of a major scandal. So I booked a seat here in First Class in the hope I’d get an opportunity to back Sir Dennis into a corner, and hit him with some really awkward questions. I was still trying to figure out how to get him on his own, away from his bodyguard, when suddenly he was dead. But that just makes this story even more important! I’m not giving up all my notes and background quotes, and clues as to who my sources are!’

  ‘You don’t have to,’ I said patiently. ‘I’m not interested in spiking your story; I just need you to postpone sending it in.’

  I noticed that Rupert and Howard were starting to look a little uncertain now, and wondering whether they could get away with demanding their laptops back.

  ‘All right!’ I said. ‘How about this? If you give up your laptops voluntarily, you’ll all get them back when we arrive in Bath. If I have to take them from you by force – and I will if I have to – I’ll have no choice but to hand them over to our computer experts. And they’ll look at everything. You really want to go that route?’

  ‘Bully,’ said Sita.

  But the strength had gone out of her. She thrust her laptop at me, and I handed it over to Penny, who had to struggle to avoid dropping everything. I nodded to the luggage rack, where Brian had put Sir Dennis’s file, and Penny glared at me before rising up on tiptoe to dump the phones and laptops in the rack. In clear sight of everyone, but well out of easy reach.

  ‘Any more indignities you want to put us through?’ said Sita.

  ‘I’m afraid so,’ I said. ‘Before we go any further, I need to check all of you for weapons.’

  ‘I am not being frisked,’ said Sita ominously.

  ‘You told us Sir Dennis died from a broken neck,’ said Howard. ‘You don’t need a weapon for that.’

  ‘Our advance intelligence was pretty sure the killer would be a professional,’ I said. ‘So I need to make sure that you’re not armed.’ I looked to Sita. ‘Penny can check you out.’

  ‘I am not being frisked!’ Sita repeated loudly.

  ‘It’ll be just like airport security,’ said Penny.

  ‘I could always ask Brian to do it,’ I said.

  ‘Love to,’ said Brian from the door.

  ‘In your dreams,’ snapped Sita.

  In the end, she went along with it. No one really objected, if only because they all wanted to be sure no one else had a weapon. Penny and I were brisk and efficient, and turned up nothing. Which was no more than I’d expected. I only did it because I would have felt such an idiot if I didn’t do it and the killer suddenly produced a gun at an inconvenient moment.

  ‘Hey, Jones!’ Brian said suddenly. I looked round to see him step away from the door as Dee the refreshments lady entered the compartment, pushing her trolley ahead of her. She had to put some effort into it; the squeaking wheels were really giving her trouble now, apparently determined to go shooting off in every direction at once. Dee wrestled the trolley into submission and then stopped as Brian grabbed her by the arm. She looked at him in surprise, while he looked down the aisle at me.

  ‘Should I let her in?’

  ‘Technically speaking, I would have to say you’ve left it a bit late to ask,’ I said. ‘I thought I made it clear to you that no one was to be allowed into this compartment without my permission.’

  ‘I thought you might want to question her,’ said Brian, entirely unmoved by the disapproval in my voice. ‘She was in here not long before Sir Dennis was killed, remember? And since you’re the one who made such a fuss over being the man in charge, Mr Jones, you get to make the decisions.’

  I think, in the army, the look on his face would
have been enough for a charge of dumb insolence. But he did have a point. Dee had been here, so she might have seen or heard something. I nodded to Brian and he let go of Dee’s arm. She looked at him and then at me, before finally setting off again. The squeaking of the trolley wheels was very loud in the sudden quiet. Dee looked around her uncertainly, picking up on the tense atmosphere and clearly wondering what she was walking into. I went forward to meet her.

  ‘It’s only me, darling,’ she said brightly. ‘With my little trolley, here to help you out!’

  ‘Didn’t the guard tell you this compartment is off limits to everyone until we get to Bath?’ I said sternly.

  ‘Eric told me what happened to Sir Dennis,’ Dee said quickly. ‘About his being dead and everything. So I thought you people might need some looking after. Hot sweet tea is very good for shock. Everybody knows that.’

  ‘Eric wasn’t supposed to tell any of the train staff about Sir Dennis.’

  ‘Oh, he hasn’t told anyone else, darling,’ said Dee. ‘He’s been very good. He only told me because I sort of made him. When he came back down the train, he was in such a state that I thought I’d better sit him down and find out what was wrong. So I gave him a hug and a shoulder to cry on, and once he started talking, he couldn’t stop, the poor dear. He told me all about Sir Dennis, and you, and … well, everything! He’s feeling a lot better now. In case you were wondering.’

  ‘I gave Eric strict orders that the far door to the next carriage was to remain locked,’ I said sternly.

  ‘I had Eric open it up, just for me,’ said Dee, entirely unbothered by my tone. ‘So I could bring my trolley through. Trust me, you’ll all feel a lot better for having a nice hot drink inside you, to calm your nerves and settle you down.’

  I started to say something, but Dee just kept going and talked right over me. And I let her, because I was fascinated to hear what she’d say next.

  ‘You don’t need to worry; Eric locked the door behind me, to make sure no one else could come through. Though I can’t see why anyone would want to. That whole carriage is dark as anything. I had to feel my way down the aisle, with the trolley fighting me every step of the way. I’ve got bruises everywhere. Eric’s still trying to get the lights back on, but I think he’s a bit out of his depth, to be honest.’

  She paused to get her breath, and I jumped in while I had the chance.

  ‘Are you and Eric close? Away from the train, I mean?’

  ‘Oh, no,’ she said quickly. ‘Hardly know the man. This is my first day on the job. You can tell, can’t you? It’s really not what I was expecting …’ She looked at me uncertainly. ‘Have I done something wrong? Should I go?’

  I was about to say yes, when simple curiosity got the better of me. Dee must have worked really hard on Eric to get him to open the carriage door after I told him not to, which suggested Dee must have a really good reason for wanting to be here. And I wanted to know what that was.

  ‘Go ahead, Dee,’ I said. ‘See if anyone wants anything.’

  She smiled quickly and threw her whole weight against the trolley to get it moving again. She manoeuvred the awkward thing down the aisle, offering hot drinks and all manner of snacks, but this time there were no takers. They were all just waiting for her to leave, so they could go back to talking about the only thing that mattered: the murder, and how it affected them. So they all just shook their heads or looked away, until Dee got to Rupert Hall. And just as before, Dee focused in on him. She crouched down beside his seat, smiling warmly.

  ‘What’s the matter, darling? You don’t look at all well. Why not eat something?’

  She kept trying to tempt him with one brightly packaged treat after another, almost forcing them into his hands, but he wouldn’t even look at them. He just kept saying he didn’t want anything, and Dee just kept ignoring him. Penny shot me a look, clearly wondering why I wasn’t intervening. I nodded for her to move in closer and keep an eye on Dee. I was wondering where all of this was going. Eventually, Dee gave up, put everything back on her trolley and then casually picked up something hidden among the plastic teacups. And that was when Penny shot out a hand and grabbed hold of Dee’s wrist. Dee tried to wrench her arm away, but Penny had her pinned firmly in place.

  Dee’s face became suddenly cold and set, her friendly chatty persona gone in a moment. Penny twisted Dee’s wrist hard, and something dropped out of Dee’s hand on to the floor. I stepped in quickly and picked up a small spy camera.

  Dee wrenched her arm out of Penny’s grasp, darted round the trolley and made a run for the door, only to come face to face with Brian, blocking the way with his body. He smiled at her, and it was a really unpleasant smile. And I finally understood why he’d let her through. He’d found her presence suspicious, so he let her in to give her enough rope to hang herself with. Brian looked very pleased at seeing his suspicions confirmed and having someone he could take out his frustrations on. Dee headed straight for him anyway.

  Brian reached out to grab hold of her, and Dee kicked him hard in the right knee. Brian cried out, in shock and surprise as much as pain. His leg collapsed under him and he lurched to one side, away from the door. Dee threw herself forward and the door hissed open, but by then I’d caught up with her.

  I grabbed Dee by the shoulder and hauled her back into the carriage. She fought me all the way but couldn’t break my grip. So she twisted around inside it, grabbed hold of the front of my jacket and tried for a classic judo throw. But I just braced myself and refused to be thrown. Dee immediately released her hold and fell back a step. Her face was perfectly calm and composed, like any professional at work. She struck out at me, unleashing a series of powerful kicks and blows, but I dodged them all easily. My reflexes are so much faster than human that any fight is always going to seem to me as if it’s in slow motion. Dee broke off her attacks the moment it became clear she wasn’t getting anywhere. She was breathing hard. I wasn’t. Dee dropped her hands, straightened up and shrugged resignedly.

  ‘Just my luck, to run into someone who knows how to fight. OK, I surrender, all right? What are you going to do? Confiscate my trolley?’

  Sita suddenly jumped to her feet and stabbed an accusing finger at Dee. ‘She’s a professional fighter! We all saw it! She must be the killer!’

  ‘What?’ said Dee. She looked startled for the first time, caught completely off balance by the accusation. ‘Of course I’m not the killer!’

  Brian hurried down the aisle, favouring his aching knee, and grabbed hold of Dee’s shoulder from behind. His hand clamped down so hard it made Dee wince despite herself, but she didn’t cry out or try to pull away. She kept her gaze fixed on me, because she knew I was the one she had to convince.

  ‘Who are you? Who are you working for?’ Brian shouted right into her face.

  ‘My name is Dee Calder,’ she said steadily. ‘I work for the Super Sunshine Detective Agency, based in London. I’m a private detective.’

  ‘Yeah, right,’ said Brian. His voice was thick with anger, embarrassed at being taken down so easily.

  ‘That’s enough,’ I said to Brian. ‘Let her go.’

  Brian suddenly seemed to realize that he was intimidating a middle-aged woman. He snatched his hand away from her shoulder and stepped back. Dee nodded briefly to me in thanks, her face perfectly composed, as though nothing unpleasant had happened.

  ‘Why are you here, Dee?’ I said. ‘Really?’

  She started to reach inside her jacket pocket and then stopped as I fixed her with a warning look.

  ‘Whatever that is,’ I said. ‘I think you’d better take it out slowly and carefully, thumb and forefinger only.’

  ‘Glad to see there’s another professional on this train,’ said Dee. ‘Don’t worry, darling; it’s only my ID.’

  She produced a laminated card and held it out for me to read. I let her hold it while I studied the details. The card confirmed she was who she said she was, and that she did indeed work for the improbably named detec
tive agency.

  ‘Looks like the real deal,’ I said finally. ‘You can put it away now.’

  ‘Oh, come on!’ said Brian, unable to contain himself. ‘Anyone can fake an ID!’

  ‘Let’s face it, Brian,’ said Penny, moving in beside me. ‘She doesn’t exactly look like a professional assassin, does she?’

  ‘They never do,’ Brian said darkly. ‘That’s the point.’

  ‘Arrested many assassins, have you?’ I said.

  ‘Don’t make fun of me,’ said Brian. His voice was flat, and his hands had clenched into fists at his sides.

  ‘Wouldn’t dream of it,’ I said. I turned back to Dee. ‘So, what’s a private detective doing on this train? And why make such an effort to get in here, only to ignore what happened to the dead VIP?’

  ‘I don’t give a damn about Sir Dennis,’ said Dee. ‘I’m here for him.’

  And she pointed at Rupert Hall, who couldn’t have been more astonished if she’d aimed a gun at him.

  ‘Me?’ he said, his voice rising sharply. ‘Why me?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Penny. ‘What’s so special about him?’ And then she stopped and looked apologetically at Rupert. ‘No offence.’

  ‘That’s all right,’ said Rupert. ‘I was wondering the same thing myself.’

  ‘Why are we listening to this woman?’ Brian said loudly. ‘She’s only trying to distract us …’

  ‘Brian,’ I said sharply, and his gaze snapped back to me. ‘Go back and guard the door, please. If she could get through the darkened carriage, there’s always the chance someone else might show up.’

  Brian nodded reluctantly, shot Dee a final angry look and limped back down the aisle with as much dignity as he could manage. Dee allowed herself to relax a little once he was safely out of range.

  ‘I’m working for Rupert Hall’s wife,’ she said steadily. ‘Because she thinks he’s cheating on her. That he’s only going to Bath this evening so he can meet up with his girlfriend. I was put on this train to gather evidence.’